DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

18

Apr

Eva Longoria Bikini Ass of the Day

I always thought Eva Longoria was A LOT of hype and I didn’t really understand how they managed to take her as far as they did, but people fucking love her, and she’s embraced on an international level, and not just by the Basketball player she once married, but by the people.

I had NO idea that that Desperate Housewives show was such a big fucking deal, because it’s pretty fucking trash, but for whatever reason, it launched this First Generation Mexican to a place where she could have the Mexican Gardeners and now where she was a Mexican Gardener….I mean, I don’t even think she knows how to speak Spanish, but instead is one of those first gen’s who just fully got into American culture that she now runs it with her production company and pile of money.

I do think she looks better than usual in this bikini, fat ass in a good way, because there’s been times in our 15 year relationship with Eva Longoria where she was fat in the wrong way, but when you’re rich and have access, there’s no excuse for a bad fat ass, only good fat asses, she can afford teams of people from trainers, to dieticians, to cosmetic surgery or spa treatments that cost millions for the ass….so next time you see a rich fuck with a shit ass know they’re just being lazy and bold…testing the waters to see how gross they can get before the people turn on them….and in this case, Longoria is skewing on the good side of evil…so we’ll acknowledge that, which doesn’t mean we think she’s good….it just means she’s better than she’s been….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Eva Longoria

2022

18

Apr

Elsa Hosk Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Elsa Hosk is doing some posing in her bikini and is looking pretty fucking good because she recently ripped her CERVIX apart for her baby, so that the baby would come out alive, which it did.

I don’t know if birthing, or ripped cervixes or would it be cervices are your thing, I would figure you’re more the kind of guy who doesn’t ever make contact with the cervix, for short dicks and lack of women letting you near their vaginas, but maybe when you vigorously masturbate you think about the porn chick you’re watching gt railed as “I’d destroy your cervix, if only I had enough money to hire you to do a porn shoot in my house, despite not having a penis long enough to make contact with your cervix, but maybe I could buy an extender”…you weird angry fuck.

I do know that birthing didn’t really stop her model and athlete muscle memory from happening, unless these are photoshopped, becasue she’s as good as she was and that makes no sense….but I’m sure she didn’t use a Ukrainian baby factory of surrogats that I read about in the news…and that she did infact give birth because out of all the VS models, she’s one I don’t think is a tranny trying to trick us as a trap or a pass.

Point of the story, Elsa Hosk is being expensive in her Ketchup and Mustard bikini, the hot dog bun you’d want to slide your hot dog in because she’s wonderful and that’s how we honor wonderful ladies. That and cum tributes. Which I still don’t understand but unfortunately know they happen.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2022

18

Apr

Milf Monday of the Day

No Comments »

MILFS aren’t all blown out pussies with a lot of baggage and trauma from being left to fend for themselves when that American Dream of picket fence, family, suburbs, that was sold to them fell apart thanks to the husband downloading TINDER….for SEX…because she got old, fat, tired and annoying in part because she stopped fucking him with her old blown out pussy….

Some MILFS still have some pride, take care of themselves and look good doing it, but that’s all based on how rich the husband is normally…or what their jobs are…..because if they’re a working model they’ll look good as a Mom, if they work at Walmart cash, they probably won’t, unless they moonlight as strippers.

Point being, I don’t think MILFS are the same as they were when I knew MILFs, all desperate for attention while hating themselves and their bodies, because these MILFS seem to have embraced motherhood enough to try to make you cum, not that you cumming is a sign of embracing motherhood….but it’s definitely a sign of them not being disgusted by themselves, even if they should be…you know DOING MOM SHIT…not softcore PORN shit….

(more…)

Posted in:Milf

2022

18

Apr

Sophie Mudd and Daisy Keech Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know shit about shit, but I do know that Sophie Mudd was a bit titty girl who did all the share for shares with the other sluts on instagram to get a huge following, because men are simple and when you have big tits that works…

She ended up getting serious, trying to have a legit career as a who the fuck knows, but she wasn’t exploiting her tits despite them being massive and designed to take her to the top of the food chain, sometimes people turn their back on their true calling because they just don’t want to believe.

That all changed with OnlyFans, when girls started making 1,000,000 a month, because everyone has a price..

Daisy Keech on the other hand was known for her ass, was huge on TikTok and could have really gone anywhere with what she was doing, but instead of pulling their reins back on sexual content to become a TikTok dancer, she said fuck it, got some tits and launched an OnlyFans, you know direct line to the cash.

Together, they are posing in bikinis, maybe an ad for their fan accounts, maybe a the intro scene to their sex tape, I don’t know, but the boobs are big….REAL vs fake.and the content is slutty enough to remind us how silly our culture has become….we’ve always had Glmour models with their tits out, now everyone is a Glamour model with their tits out, but we can jerk off to it…so maybe that’s the whole point….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Daisy Keech|Sophie Mudd

2022

18

Apr

Alison Brie Scary of the Day

No Comments »

When I think of Alison Brie, which I don’t, but I know that some people do, they think she’s the hottest 40 something in Hollywood…

This is some spooky or slutty Easter Bunny pics, I’m not quite sure if they are a take on the scary Easter Bunny memes that circulate this time of year, or if this is a take on the slutty Easter Bunny nudes that bitches pushing their OnlyFans produce, but that they were producing before OnlyFans, but now that they can make a million a year with OnlyFans, it makes sense.

So yeah, when I think of Alison Brie, whether she’s in Easter Lingerie or not, I wonder if she’s every been double stuffed by her husband and his brother James, I figure, Hollywood kids who grew up in the industry are weird and into that thing, if anything, it probably wouldn’t be the first time they cum in a bitch at the same time….different hole….however, some girls take two dicks in their pussy at the same time…so maybe it’s same hole.

All this to say, Easter Themed Horror Movie Style Smut is a good thing…..whether it involves INCESTUOUS tag teams or not.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Alison Brie

2022

18

Apr

Wet Rita Ora of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s some Rita Ora doing a little tribute to summer with her slutty swimsuits that I’ll assume are from last summer.

The popstar who never was, but who I guess is still trying to be by pulling any tactic she can to get noticed. It’s worked out nicely for her and because she was introduced to us via Rob Kardashian’s dick and a lucrative record deal with Jay Z before social media was really a thing, her shamelessness gets to remain “marketing” and not cries for attention even if we know it is a cry for attention.

Anyway, she lives in LA and works in Australia, so I’m not too sure what this bitch is saying about being ready for summer. She’s in a pool, which like so many pools in LA, can be SWAM in in Middle of January.

I think she’s shaming people like us Canadians, who are under an ICE WALL 9 months a year…

Now I know how fat chicks feel when they see a skinny chick in an AD.

Unrealistic WEATHER expectations….or some shit…

In other news, she adopted a dog, I love dogs, so I like her more than I did before seeing she got a dog…..DOGS are EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING is DOG.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by RITA ORA (@ritaora)

Now her tits and ass, that you didn’t know she had, but that she clearly wants you to know she had, so long as it is filtered through underwater photography.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rita Ora

2022

18

Apr

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

No Comments »

I realize why no one reads this site. I am a contrarian, I didn’t know that about myself, but I just go fully against whatever I am told in the news.

When Medical Workers were heroes, I was going on about how they aren’t heroes, how they don’t deserve parades because they are just doing their job…but I did discover that there’s a whole fetish around medical workers, or scrubs, which I find fucking strange.

Unless you’re a horny retard with childhood cancer as a pubescent tween being taken care of by some stripper looking bitch who presses her big tits on you when transporting you into your wheel chair, BONER GIVER or an old as shit pervert who hasn’t been with a woman, or hasn’t interacted with a nice lady in a long time, but who is seemingly helping you while you’re near death, even though she’s being paid to be there…..then I don’t get it….

I mean maybe if you’re a bored in your marriage doctor an some nurse wants you to take her under your wing, or just take her in the supply room….since nurses are the sex workers of the medical system, and these pics are the proof….

But to anyone who hates hospitals, viruses if germ theory is real, BACTERIA and the way scrubs make an ass look, then nurses gone wild, even the hotties are just gross, but since they are the sex workers of the medical industry, I guess along with Pharmaceutical sales girls, they’re always super slutty in their company cars and short skirts, seducing doctors to prescribe harder…and the medical industry is trending due to pandemics…then I guess I gotta post them, and it’s not that bad, since you can’t smell the human waste and disease on them, even if you know it’s there….THE POWER of the internet…AM I RIGHT.

(more…)

Posted in:NURSES

2022

18

Apr

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

No Comments »

I still think Breast Feeding in public is some kind of exhibitionism by girls who want you to see their tits pulled out in public when they are doing their god given task of feeding their child…something that may pump endorphines through them to make them enjoy the experience so much they want to share….or maybe they just want to take advantage of the window of opportunity of having engorged tits….If you’re gonna pull a tit out in public, it might as well be at its fullest…

They just disguise it as some sort of activism, because they can’t say their pussies get wet when perverts like me are staring at them feeding their child the way nature intended because my brain acts like a censor and I can pixelated the kid out of the tit….I thank scrambled porn for that skill….so that I can focus on the tit….

YOU MUST INTELLECTUALIZE all slutty behavior, not that feeding kids is slutty, it’s natural, which is why I think they must be doing it for slutty reasons, if they feel they need to justify it….like when your wife asks you why you took an hour long shower…knowing perfectly well what you were up to….when you do a whole song and dance about how you’ve had a rough day. We’re onto you, masturbator.

Anyway, in recent newsworthy breast feeding stories on the local level, I learned that Canada has breast feeding in their CHARTER OF RIGHTS, and sure COVID shat on the CHARTER OF RIGHTS, but LEGALLY, they can’t discriminate against a pregnant or breast feeding woman for pulling her tit out….so all this activism is so dumb, IT IS ALREADY LAW and no one, especially NO dude cares….we LIKE tits pulled out in public, EVEN the gross ones for GROSS reasons like BREEDING.

(more…)

Posted in:Lactating

2022

18

Apr

Dylan Mulvaney’s Journey into Girlhood is Hilarious of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve been seeing this “actress” and “comedian” going viral the last few days because “she” is documenting “her” journey into womandom or girlhood, you know, motherfucker is transitioning.

I am posting it, not because I am into transgender from a sexual perspective, I still find it weird and have since the late 90s when learning it was the most popular porn category when I was working for a porn company.

I am posting it because I think this motherfucker is trolling.

Now I don’t care what people identify as, I don’t care if they identify as she/her, live your life how you fucking want.

I do care about the indoctrination of children by weird, bored moms and teachers who think they are doing something good, not realizing it’s demonic and confusing, not factoring in that maybe kids don’t really have genders and that there are bigger issues in the world than genders, let them be kids, you narcissist weirdo demons.

But I don’t care when people transition, not my fucking life…but in this heated climate of gender fighting over nonsense, because we don’t have bigger issues, even though we do, where all these journeys are documented for social media, maybe half of them only happen for social media, where body modifications for a generation aren’t tattoos or piercings but rather chopping your dick off…you gotta wonder, how many of thsee people are trolling and how many are legit.

I know that I’ve debated transitioning on paper, because you can’t really get taken down by anyone when you are transgender, you can always call them transphobic, plus I think the site would be funnier if I was trans….it’s a comedic hook that will also secure better advertising, since I have no advertisers, because I’d just say “what, you don’t support trans business”….GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card, especially when people wrongfully label you a pervert stepfather predator because you called your site DRUNKENSTEPFATHER like an idiot, thinking people would see a drunk degenerate with no responsibilities and not see him as someone who diddles his stepkids…plus they were over 18 when I started the site anyway…but stillpeople who clearly were raped by their stepfathers are in greater numbers than you’d think…and they project that shit on me….

I’d rather be the DrunkenStepfather who identifies as a She/Her..to get away with all this shit…

Anyway, I think he’s trolling and NO ONE can question him….as he drops “sterotypes” of “gender” roles….

She’s a “comedian” and “actor” who lives in LA and clearly, the troll is working and it’s pretty amazing.

Day 1 of Hormones…

@dylanjamesmulvaney ITS A THEY EUPHORIA OF THE DAY! First trip to the hormone doctor! #trans #nonbinary ? original sound – Dylan Mulvaney

Day 1 of being a Girl…

@dylanjamesmulvaney Day 1 of being a girl #trans #woman ? som original – Music Lyrics

A musical interlude

@dylanjamesmulvaney A little singing gender euphoria for y’all ??? #trans #queer #musicaltheatre ? original sound – Dylan Mulvaney

Day 3 – Already a Bimbo

@dylanjamesmulvaney DAY 3 of being a girl – BIMBO EDITION @chrissychlapecka #trans #bimbo #woman ? Barbie Girl – Lady Aqua

Day 25 of Being a Girl – YOGA in the Ladies Locker…

@dylanjamesmulvaney Day 25- locker room! #yoga #trans ? original sound – Dylan Mulvaney

Day 28 of being a Girl – Shit is Expensive

@dylanjamesmulvaney DAY 28- girl this is expensiveeee #woman #trans ? Say So (Instrumental Version) [Originally Performed by Doja Cat] – Elliot Van Coup

Day 30 of Being a Girl and at Red Carpet Events…

@dylanjamesmulvaney DAY 30!!!! #trans #redcarpet @Gigi Gorgeous??? @Pierre @Nicky Champa @Moroccanoil ? Say So (Instrumental Version) [Originally Performed by Doja Cat] – Elliot Van Coup

Some Bikini Action

@dylanjamesmulvaney I went with swimsuit #2 !!!! #ellewoods #legallyblonde #burberry #harvard #trans #bikini ? Legally blond video essay – Finley Murray