DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

22

Mar

Tiny Tits Tuesday of the Day

I was just talking to a TINY TIT girl about how unfair life is for TINY TIT girls thanks to SOCIETY’s big TITTY obsession, that forces some small titty girls to cut off their titties and insert sacks of shit in them, to get that big titty girl experience, without actually having been born that way…..

I was saying how unfair it is that a big titty girl can just get views, celebrity, hype, dudes lined up, all for having a big set of tits….

When tiny tit girls are perfectly fine, oftentimes better than big titty girls, because they are less dumpy, tighter bodies, a better package….

But it must be hard being a tiny tit girl not getting the easy handouts the big tits get, while still geting hand outs, because of the whole owning a vagina thing.

I am definitely an ambassador to the ITTY BITTY TITTY COMMITTEE…and believe in their small and humble breasts or at least in the showing of those breasts as some sort of weird empowerment hustle….you know bringing out their athletic competitive instinct but for sex work and monetizing tits….”WE CAN GET PAID TOO”…

THis ain’t a big titty world anymore more, there’s room for more than just big titties..

Now, let’s organize events, protests, cuddle sessions around this movement….MY mouth is ready to suck.

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Posted in:TINY TITS

2022

22

Mar

Gideon Adlon Aint Got No Panties On of the Day

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Gideon Adlon is some big enough titty chubby enough thick enough for the era of thick being hot to the perverts out there because they are used to morbidly obese girls being the only pussy they can climb into once they figure out the shortest path through the cavernous tunnels in their gut’s fat rolls….

I saw heer in some bullshit NYC Private School Shooting / Date Rape, I don’t remember the series but it was on one of the streamers during the peak of the pandemic and she was alright. She’s also in the Craft’s redo because Neve Campbell was busy being old…

I guess she’s got a budding hot career, but not nearly as hot as the fact that her mom is the Voice of Bobby Hill, which means by default this one can do the voice of Bobby Hill and for some of you, there’s probably nothing hotter than cumming to the thought of a girl who looks like this sucking you off in the voice of Bobby Hill.

You’re weird, hut maybe I’m weirder for conceptualizing that, knowing that the voice of Kermit lived on through Hanson’s kid, the “Hi & Lois” comic strip is still being drawn and written by the kids of the originals, I’m sure there’s better examples of kids taking on their parent’s voice work in cartoons….I’m just not GOOGLE…so fuck off and look at this GOLDEN child…posing like an Academy Award you’d want to fuck.

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Posted in:Gideon Adlon

2022

22

Mar

Addison Rae Tits of the Day

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In this story we explore the ONE or TWO big secrets on how to be the biggest, highest paid personality on TikTok….one so popular the Kardashians invite you into their COVEN to help get the younger audience paying attention to the tired, old, weathered, disgusting, evildoers….despite not being very talented in her awkward dance, not being very funny in her comedy shorts, not very interesting in anything she does, not being a compelling look you’d even notice at the grocery store….she’s had all this success…people are throwing all kinds of opportunities at her based on her following alone, they don’t care that she sucks, she’s got fans, let’s get that money…

So yeah, the secret is tits.

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Posted in:Addison Rae

2022

22

Mar

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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Things to wear to the beach is our weekly round-up of random girls showing off their bikinis because they understand the social media algorithm enough to realize that people only notice them when they are half naked and in bikini, so they best be finding a pool or tropical destination where they can bang out as many bikini pics, so that they get the following that will allow them to bang out rich dudes who will pay their rent…

The bathing suit pic is probably the only reason social media worked, I get the whole narcissism thing, the people loving to brag and hear themselves speak, or post….but without the swim pics from vacations, I just don’t see how it’d ever work….which is why we’ve got all these swimsluts, some of whom probably don’t even know how to swim, because social media is a fucking lie, and so long as you’re in the swim equipment, you’re good….

As a Canadian, in winter half the year, I can say with confidence, that even with all these bathing suits out on the internet, even with doing 60,000 posts on this site over 18 years….I HAVE not seen enough bathing suit pics…so bring it….and they do.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2022

22

Mar

Miranda Kerr Nude Throwback of the Day

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I never gave a shit about Miranda Kerr or her weirdly shaped Australian face. I just thought she was a wallet fucking Victoria’s Secret girl trying to elevate her profile, or value, by getting knocked up by a big celebrity at the time…Orlando Bloom…

When I got the exclusive from some Australian who was friends with her manager that she cheated on Bloom with Bieber, he became a little more interesting, but then VS fired her, or didn’t “re-sign” her to her lucrative contract, you see, she was married to an A- Lister…maybe a B+ Lister….but someone more famous than the average actor….so you gotta get paid for that brand integration.

She went onto date some creeper Billionaire movie producer and Casino owner rich kid, realizing that VS models get billionaires, not millionaires, millionaires are for the less important models….

Then she seduced the snapchat guy who we’ll assume was some socially awkward programmer with no friends who used to jerk off to the VS catalog before he could buy one fo their models….and I always wondered why….there’s so much good pussy out there that’s not as obvious, but these billionaires love fucking each other’s girls, it’s a weird club, and weird status….these people like to be ESKIMO brothers, it’s a bonding experience, but when you’re in the club, being knocked up by then, you can BUY all the things you ever wanted to fill your empty soul….

Point of the story, this is an old throwback nude, very old, she may still look this good, who fucking knows, I haven’t Miranda Kerr creeped basically ever…but I’ll look at the throwback, well positioned, forever taken care of financially tits!

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Posted in:Miranda Kerrr

2022

22

Mar

Jojo Panties of the Day

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Jojo brought her thickness to what I assume was instagram…which seems to be the people’s favorite place to post their entry level nudes…the kind you send to your tinder match you’re flirting with before diving into the asshole pics…

It does seem weird that people take these slutty selfies for their social media, but I guess when you’re addicted to being famous, to being the center of attention, being the jerked off to….as you compete against actual porn….you gotta step it up…

She does look like a fat chick, with fat tits we’ve seen thanks to a previous instagram story around the top of the Pandemic back in 2020, you know to launch her as someone you want to follow because you may see her tits when bored at home during the pandemic….and that’s become part of her top tier, once a celebrity, still a celebrity, or at least trying to be a celebrity, hustle…

Her underwear, string strps look like she’s pulled them up so hard they’re overalls, but whatever works in a world of perverts and exhibitionists…and as a pervert…this works for me…keep up the once famous, now half naked hustle. It’s a good enough one.

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Posted in:JoJo|Jojo Levesque

2022

22

Mar

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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I have two life changing tight pants stories that happened over the last 24 hours, great timing universe, I guess somewhere out there knew I had to intro a bunch of random girls who upload pics of their tight pants, for the sake of showing off their tight pants, because they know it’s a fetish or just like how they look in their tight pants, since wearing tight pants to the grocery store, diner, movies, everywhere isn’t enough, they need to document it, sexualize it and possibly monetize it….THE modern world where nothing is sacred or done with good intentions..everything is done for transactional purposes….but we didn’t pay for shit, so we get to digest their marketing materials for free….THE BEST price for content on the internet….THE way it is supposed to be…

So my two tight pants stories both involve dog shit…one involved a girl with a new puppy, in a pair of pussy hugging leggings…..hugging pussy so tight that I could see her pussy when she was bending over to pick up her dog shit from across the street and I don’t have good eyesight or glasses….but I definitely wasn’t imagining the pussy….those pants were wedged so far up inside her, they were probably rubbing on her cervix like a papsmear…one of my favorite activities…and pick up lines….”Hey baby, wanna train for your pap smear, it’s the responsible thing and I’ve got confidence I can reach the pearly gates of your womb with this dowel”….

The second dog shit tight pants story was of a lady in leggings, middle aged for sure but the kind who workout, so there was some musculature to her old body….anyway, she for whatever reason stepped in dog shit while running to her car….because she started doing some Michael Jackson moonwalk in front of me, only to end up ass facing me…..before doing her deep bend where I got to see her pussy lips on either side of the theme….and I feel like she was well aware of this performance, why else would she do it….maybe the tight pants hugging the cunt all day make these ladies exhibitionists who want some pervert to get a free dog shit and pussy show….

We’ll never know, because just like that, they both walked out of my life forever…it was a PUSSY in my tight pants to fuck off forever…real quick.

=

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Posted in:Tight Pants

2022

22

Mar

Ingrid Oliveira Brings Brazilian Olympic Diver Ass of the Day

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The algorithm just showed me this 2 time Olympian out of Brazil named INGRID OLIVEIRA who I’m sure you’ve never heard of despite being a 3 time South American Champ, World Cup Finalist, 12 time National Champ…to remind you that she’s a legit athlete and not some joker on instagram who poses nude and sometimes pretends they have some marketable talent to differentiate themselves from the other whores posing half naked for attention on social media….you know the type.

Anyway, in this world of women being phased out of women sports for the less impressive men in the sports who decided to take hormones to live their athletic dreams at the expense of women….

I think it’s important to sexualize female athletes like the good old days, before they all looked like butch men…you know when you could jerk off to female tennis, female figure skating, female beach volleyball….TRACK AND FIELD…etc….without wondering if it had a dick.

Fitness can be hot, being talented at something can be hot, but I think it comes down to ass upside down before doing flips being hot in this case…arguably, a little too strong, a little too fit, but there’s an ass where that came from and it doesn’t look like her swimsuit is one with more space to house the nuts.

Posted in:Ingrid Oliveira

2022

22

Mar

Mom and Daughter… and Other Videos of the Day

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White Dress Air Hump

Doing the Important Work

What is this about…

Dress of the Day

Mom Booty

SHORTS

Just Friends Being Lady-Like

We’ve got a Stretcher

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2022

22

Mar

Rebecca Koltun is Amazing of the Day

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I was sent the above TikTok this morning and I fucking loved it.

Her name is Rebecca , she’s 22 and is the hottest thing on TikTok…

She had a Spinal Cord Injury last year and clearly doesn’t seem to mind laughing at herself or at least using it as a troll, because I guess that’s the attitude you gotta have when that kind of shit happens.

It’s better than being a total victim cunt about it…I guess some people just handle things better than others…..

I’m sure it fucking sucks to have something so horrible happen to you. I’m sure it’s hell, I’m sure it’s depressing, but if you can’t rub it in some able bodied motherfucker’s face for the LOlZ..then what’s the fucking point…

You gotta always have a sense of humor. Always.

It looks like she’s trying to raise some money to help her in her healing, adapting….

She’s only got 7,000 dollars out of a 300k goal which makes you kind of think how garbage these influencer pieces of shit like the Kardashians are when they get paid 1,000,000 per episode EACH, from those monsters are DISNEY.

Kinda makes you wonder about the priorities of people sending money to Ukraine, when hotties like this live in their fucking communities….

You all fucking suck, but not Rebecca Koltun…she’s a legend…..

So DONATE TO HELP HER OUT NOW because she’s cool as shit.

Posted in:Rebecca Koltun