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2022

10

Feb

Jordyn Jones Does Football Erotica of the Day

Jordyn Jones is the child reality star turned confused influencer that realized that selling her lewd near nudes but not quite nudes was the ultimate earning potential…she is not doing the porn yet, but we assume she’ll do the porn when the audience is ready to really pay for it, which is really the right way to do porn…BUILD IT UP…don’t ANAL on the first date…but do anal eventually because we’re ready to see that dance Booty from Michigan do what it was supposed to do if it never got rich and Famous and tainted by that Hollywood shit…you know…trailer park prostitution.

This is a themed shoot for FOOTBALL fans because it is a big football weekend they say….

Looks good to me…..Play Ball..

Posted in:Jordyn Jones

2022

10

Feb

Most Important Video of the Year of the Day

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No there’s no tits and ass in this. There’s no awkward dancing for millions of views…that leads to book and movie deals….

It’s just pure stupid hive mind human behavior…to remind you why we are in a mess in the first place!

Watch until the end…with volume on….this is a solid “WAIT FOR IT”…..

GOOD STUFF.

Posted in:Videos

2022

10

Feb

Kate Beckinsale is a Furry of the Day

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KATE BECKINSALE took some time out of fucking 18 year old dudes and making them cum inside her dried up old lady womb in efforts to absorb their LIFEFORCE….it’s an anti aging procedure like child blood transfusions…

This is a solid viral video by the hot bodied old lady Kate Beckinsale, because it has all the elements you’d want in a viral video…a hot bodied old lady in a sports bra showing some skin while brown paper bagging herself so we don’t need to see how old she actually is….tricking a cute cat in some stupid pet trick type clickbait…all while catering to a VERY loyal group of perverts with a very weird fetish we call the FURIES.

Like feet pics, if you give a FURRY a fucking inch they take a fucking mile, so easy to please and all it takes is a FURRY costume….

I know what you’re thinking, Furries aren’t a fetish anymore, they are a gender, a species of their own…they are campaigning to have LITTER BOXES put in every Walmart bathroom so that they can feel included in this inclusive woke and progressive world I call hell… because I don’t really want to see a pervert motherfucker who dresses in costumes rubbing up against strangers when I’m buying my fucking CHEESE PUFFS….unless of course that pervert is Kate Bekinsale…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|Kate Beckinsale

2022

10

Feb

Dua Lipa Bikini Tits of the Day

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Dua Lipa is in Miami being REALLY famous and important…I am sure there are paparazzi on the beach trying to get pics of her because she’s an A LISTER at this point, even though you probably don’t know who she is…because you don’t listen to pop ratio controlled by the satanists….and you don’t take the popstars they pulled off social media over the last 7 years all that seriously…but like me, don’t mind staring at their ass and tits, because the ass and the tits are the universal “you don’t matter, your bullshit don’t matter, your politics don’t matter, your art don’t matter, your pop career don’t matter, your social media presence don’t matter, NOTHING matters…when you’re reduced to ass and tits…or is it tits and ass”….

Point being…I thought the Albanian tits were bigger…but I guess she’s laying down and these things fluctuate depending on how much cocaine you’re doing, or food you’re eating, or birth control you’re on…you top of the charts scam that doesn’t matter because we are objectifying you and reducing you to your tits and ass…THE WAY NATURE INTENDED!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Dua Lipa

2022

10

Feb

Asshole Behind Thong Thursday of the Day

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Assholes behind thongs…are a reminder to myself that I would like to watch girls doing aerobics in their thongs….and not in an 80s thong over tights kind of way…but in a straight up thong kind of way….because it will give amble opportunity to showcase their assholes in an equitable way, you know make it mandatory for all girls to wear thongs to the fitness class so that there are no non-thong wearers feeling left out….plus the showcasing of their asshole is empowering…like an ADIDAS TITTY AD…it takes all kinds of assholes to make a village..and since everyone has one…it’s only normal for us to “I’ll so you mine if you really want me to, but I’d rather look at yours”…..and I know some non-asshole owner out there thanks to a birth defect or cancer is OUTRAGING out there….”HOW DARE YOU SAY EVERYONE HAS AN ASSHOLE YOU ABLEIST”……

YOU can’t please everyone, but I think ASSHOLES BEHIND THONGS try…and really why wear shorts when you can wear something less constrictive and more exhibitionist in this world of everyone being a exhibitionists, the shorts keep getting shorter and the tighter, we just need to get ahead of this TOGETHER…

Here’s some inspo shots for our THONG FITNESS WORKOUT routine I’m mapping out…

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Posted in:Asshole Behind Thong

2022

10

Feb

Shit Faced Halsey of the Day

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Here’s a piece of shit popstar named Halsey who has scammed a lot of people doing a new beauty ritual of spreading feces all over her face…

This is not Halsey being racist like Howard Stern, because she is black, or has a black father and likes to remind us how black she is whenever she gets the chance..which makes sense when you’re as white as Candace Owens’ baby…you gotta wear a sign or something so the WOKE pieces of shit know to talk on your behalf as the white ally, instead of assuming that she’s a white ally speaking on behalf of minorities like the ignorant woke heroes they are….

That said, I should think about feces more than I do…but I generally hate shitting, I’ve never experienced POO-PHORIA, which is not Sydney Sweeney’s new show to flash her tits on, but should be….If anything, I’ve never even shit myself when drunk…it’s probably one of those slow metabolism things…..but I should talk more about feces especially when talking about shit faced Halsey, the kind of girl who would probably let you shit on her chest back when she was first selling her soul to the industry for that fame and fortune she always wanted…because it allowed her to buy FAKE TITS…but now that she’s famous, she’ll SHIT on her own damn face…THANK YOU VERY MUCH….she’s an INDEPENDENT WOMAN you see.

Is this kind of shit face is a different kind skid mark than you’d expect to find in your underwear, but really not all that different really…but that’s more to do with the person the shit face is on, then the shit face itself, since I don’t think Halsey is all that impressive….

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Posted in:Halsey

2022

10

Feb

Jenna Dewan Bathes of the Day

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Here’s a piece of shit popstar named Halsey who has scammed a lot of people doing a new beauty ritual of spreading feces all over her face…

This is not Halsey being racist like Howard Stern, because she is black, or has a black father and likes to remind us how black she is whenever she gets the chance..which makes sense when you’re as white as Candace Owens’ baby…you gotta wear a sign or something so the WOKE pieces of shit know to talk on your behalf as the white ally, instead of assuming that she’s a white ally speaking on behalf of minorities like the ignorant woke heroes they are….

That said, I should think about feces more than I do…but I generally hate shitting, I’ve never experienced POO-PHORIA, which is not Sydney Sweeney’s new show to flash her tits on, but should be….If anything, I’ve never even shit myself when drunk…it’s probably one of those slow metabolism things…..but I should talk more about feces especially when talking about shit faced Halsey, the kind of girl who would probably let you shit on her chest back when she was first selling her soul to the industry for that fame and fortune she always wanted…because it allowed her to buy FAKE TITS…but now that she’s famous, she’ll SHIT on her own damn face…THANK YOU VERY MUCH….she’s an INDEPENDENT WOMAN you see.

Is this kind of shit face is a different kind skid mark than you’d expect to find in your underwear, but really not all that different really…but that’s more to do with the person the shit face is on, then the shit face itself, since I don’t think Halsey is all that impressive….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jenna Dewan|Jenna Dewan-Tatum

2022

10

Feb

Titty Drop Thursday of the Day

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It’s safe to say that in this era of everyone being an online attention seeking media whore, or social media whore, having big tits is a fucking asset….tits get hits, they generate the views, they get the follows, they help you monetize your shit in a way easier way then selling your crafts on ETSY….and all it really takes is flashing those tits…

So the clever people with big tits came up with the TITTY DROP, a fun way to flash your tits, by making them bounce out of your shirt, and since everyone is doing it, you might as well do it too…

Unless the titty drop founder was a dude who like big tits and wanted to see big tits and knew he could somehow used reverse psychology tactics on a woman, which isn’t all that complicated to do, they aren’t the most difficult to trick into flashing you tit, because deep down they want you to see their tits…

A little “I bet you can’t pull your top off and make your boobs bounce, there is no way”….

PROVE ME WRONG…

PROVE ME WRONG….they did…and now it is a viral fucking trend…BIG TITTY BOUNCING or DROPPING everywhere….

Now maybe your balls will finally drop….

You can only hope the TITTY drops inspire them to drop….

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Posted in:Titty Drop

2022

10

Feb

Brooke Shields Topless of the Day

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Spoiler alert, Brooke Shields nude in Blue Lagoon when she was 14 and sold off to the entertainment industry, was not actually Brooke Shield’s nude body in Blue Lagoon at 14….they used one of the production assistants….which is actually a pretty good thing because if they didn’t…I’d say that Hollywood, especially in the 70s, was a pretty fucking disgusting and degenerate place, but then I remember, Hollywood in 2021 is still a disgusting and degengerat place….when you reward insecure idiots with money and fans, they let that get to their head, and feel like they matter….so they end up doing all kinds of fucking weird and dirty shit….because they can afford to, they can get away with it, and because they’re chasing thrills they once had, back when fucking hot models and celebrities was a thrill and not “same old, same old”….it’s the whole “even the hottest bitch in the world’s husband gets bored of her, even when she’s still at her hottest and not some old weathered half rotten hole”….

BUT, this Brooke Shields big and topless ad, is definitely Brooke Shields’ heavy tit….which to many should be TOO LITTLE TOO LATE…she’s 100 fucking years old….but to some, it may be what they’ve been waiting for since her SITCOM got cancelled, back when she was fucking Andre Agassi, making some of us who questioned whether she was a man or not, wonder if that colorful tennis star was a gay.

I guess it makes sense for Jordache to use a star from when they were last popular in their shoot….you know touch the emotional connection other old bitches have because they didn’t know then, but they know now, those Jordache days were the best times of their fucking life…

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Posted in:Brooke Shields

2022

10

Feb

Tanline Thursday of the Day

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Tanlines to get you in the tropical state of mind, because mid February is always the time depressed, cold, alone motherfuckers think about how much better life would be if they weren’t living their meaningless life in the cold, if they quit their job, and moved somewhere tropical to be a beach bum who lives in a shack on the beach like a homeless person in LA, only more tropical….feeding off the fish and the tropical fruits…maybe even having a harem of local bitches who roll through forgetting that girls typically don’t fuck the homeless, even tropical homeless because they are homeless….only to to fly out of their dream after a few months of failing at their new life….forced to beg for their old job back to which their boss who feels let down and unable to rely on the motherfucker will say NO FUCKING WAY….so that now out of money, with no job, no home back home, you get to be homeless here….this time during winter….and it’s ALL because you went chasing TANLINES instead of just jacking off to them on the internet like a NORMAL person.

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Posted in:Tanlines