DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

31

Mar

Weed Wednesday of the Day

I assume that all girls smoke weed, or that they should smoke weed, you know get off those anti-depressants girls, because you know most girls are on anti-depressants, you know, to reconnect with your fucking soul….as anti-depressants make you some numb, half dead, complicit fuck….all because you have bullshit anxiety, a normal emotion, because you don’t live in the wild, starving, trying to survive, hiding from predators…but you have that energy coded into you…making your suburban middle class road so scary…and your bullshit life of social media scrolling and buying she you don’t need so stressful…forcing you to work selling nudes instead of getting an actual job…you know so you don’t have to go out there in the safe but marketed as scary world….because mental health is a good excuse to tell friends and family why you sell nudes….

When all you should be doing is chilling out, smoking weed, enjoying yourself…and still selling nudes…because it allows you to be high all day…you see, you get a good excuse for your actions that’s far less irritating than Mental Health….

So I am a big weed supporter, whether I smoke weed or not, it’s barely a fucking drug and the fact that it is illegal is just bullshit….but maybe Biden will keep his word and legalize it finally…since the idea of a plant with barely aggressive properties being illegal is a fucking joke..

All this to say, here are stoner girls getting naked, and it’s fun….and you should get stoned too…it’s fun….and fun is fucking fun…you fucks…

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Posted in:Weed

2021

31

Mar

Michelle Monaghan White Swimsuit of the Day

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Despite popular belief, at least my popular belief, Michelle Monaghan was not on LOST….and I have no idea why every post I’ve probably ever done on her has been about either her being on LOST, or me wrongfully thinking she was on LOST, and that’s not about to stop now…you see, I’ve never seen lost and all these actresses are the same breed of who gives a fuck, interchangeable and not exceptionally beautiful….chasing the same disgusting dream of celebrity…to have money and fans and nice things…egotistical fucks…so I hate them all equally at my core…but I’ll still stare at their asses surfing because they don’t have fuck all else to do thanks to living LA RICH…

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Posted in:Michelle Monaghan

2021

31

Mar

Phoebe Tonkin Squirts of the Day

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Do you care about Phoebe Tonkin Squirting?

I figure no one even knows who Phoebe Tonkin is, but she’s an Australian in America living that American Hollywood dream that so many American dream of, but that some Australian is living for them, you know like a SCAB at the mill when you’re out there on strike, just moving in on your turf like so many Australians before….a cockroach of a species…all nomadic and planting their hot bodied, outgoing, drunken, party girls around the fucking globe….

But she’s squirting…in her own way….not the squirt you may want, but we all need clickbait headlines to survive…motherfuckers…

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Posted in:Phoebe Tonkin

2021

31

Mar

Kristin Cavallari Tan Lines of the Day

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I didn’t give a fuck about Kristin Cavallari when she was on Laguna Beach, so I sure as fuck don’t care about her now that she’s some 35 year old plastic surgery ridden mom of a bunch of kids with some rich pro athlete, all looking like some Orange County mom who spends her day at spin class and the mall in Newport Beach or some shit…you know useless rich people in G-Class Mercedes living their own life of Luxury like all their peers, only trying to do it better than all their peers, and I guess Cavallari has the competitive advantage at her mom meet-ups, because she was on TV and the other moms all watched her in the tabloids making her king rich mom of the group….I just hate that vibe, it’s the worst mainstream shit around….but she’s in a one piece…an old mom with plastic surgery in a one piece…not the porno I subscribed to…but I’ll post it anyway…

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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2021

31

Mar

Bella Thorne Short Skirt of the Day

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I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life….but not really, I mean not a chunkier Bella Thorne who is probably pregnant, or just quit the working out, now that she’s engaged and now that it’s “cool to not care”…and she does anything and everything she can to maintain her level of cool with her audience….she’s Disney Trained and every move they make with her, assuming she’s got handlers, which I do, because I know how hard it is to just update a stupid site daily, without any social media, while this girl has an agency, a weed company, merch, real estate, movies she acts in, a movie development deal, it just doesn’t make sense that some uneducated Disney kid hits the instagram and figures out how to create one of the most trending personal brands…but then again, when you’re at her level, it’s pretty easy to do….they aren’t re-inventing the fucking wheel or anything…and it all sort of just falls into place because if she posts a product, she’ll sell 100k units….easy..

So it is possible she master-minded this, but when you’re a Disney Kid, it’s probably not that challenging to pull off, I mean idiots on Youtube are doing it too….but I like to think there’s MORE to it than what we see because Hollywood’s scrambling to compete with influencers so they need their own out there competing with influencers…not to mention she likely had powerhouse agents being on Disney, who we never hear of at all, but who I am sure she wouldn’t have FIRED….

I don’t believe anything I see is basically what I am saying…

ANYWAY…the moment I’ve been waiting for for as long as I can remember is the skirts so short you can see the full ass….it’s fetishy, maybe even something you’d see on Halloween and not everyday….and I have ALWAYS liked upskirts….you know whether the wind blows the skirt up, whether the girl in the skirt drops something and bends over, whether the girls is cheeky and flashes her ass…I am INTO IT…

I have a feeling the full ass out in a short skirt, something reserved for trashy porn shoots, is going to be something you see out in public, which I guess is not that big of a deal, since we’ve had shorts so short we see full ass, so why not do the same with skirts…it’s a generation of exhibitionists and it’s amazing…

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Posted in:Bella Thorne

2021

31

Mar

Workout Wednesday of the Day

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This is supposed to be a series of pics of girls who workout showing off their fitness to inspire us to either get fit or jerk off to fit girls because this fat girls being normalized is criminal, or should be criminal, it’s premature death man….

Unfortunately, the kind of fitness pics I want are girls being naked at the gym, you know sneaky flashing inappropriate behavior, because girls who work out are hornier than girls who don’t, maybe it’s a hormone thing, I don’t know….maybe these girls are modest in life and naughty on the internet…I am no them…I do not know their motivation….

But I do like seeing fitness in action, it gives me a taste of it while being a sloth lazy fuck on the verge of death….like this girl on the pole for fitness…

The reality is, girls who workout, who feel fit, who are horny after they get their pump on and feel the need to take nudes are pretty awesome too, so here’s a bunch of fit girls, girls who workout, girls showing their gains, in hopes of giving you gains, so that you track them down and give them financial gains probably, they just don’t all tag their names on their pics, but should….

Stay fit, or stare at fit…

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Posted in:Workout

2021

31

Mar

Rebecca Black Cleavage of the Day

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I don’t know who Rebecca Black thinks she is, but it’s not Friday, so she should bank her titty pics to release in bulk on a Friday….

I get it, she probably hates being a meme, responsible to one of the most annoying songs to hit the internet, especially since she was a little before her time, because the industry basically discounted her as a social media viral video joke, some TRON GUY shit, without have the foresight to realize that the internet owns those motherfuckers and if they want to survive they better align….so now we’re surrounded by all these idiots who have gone viral, or who have enough fake followers to pretend they are viral….now getting record deals…..they gave the top TikTok girl who hangs with the Kardashians her own song and dance to release on TikTok…and pretend she was in on…as some manipulative cash grab. They used to be less obvious money grubbers, but whatever…we don’t care…I just think Rebecca Black deserves the credit she deserves for being a hit on youtube before it was cool…even if I fucking hate the song…but I could just be saying that cuz she’s got big tits…it’s a way to win over my support…they call me the bra.

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Posted in:Rebecca Black

2021

31

Mar

Rowan Blanchard See Through Panties of the Day

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I guess Rowan Blanchard is no longer under a morality clause like she was a pornstar trying to have a mainstream career but was restricted from doing porn, because it doesn’t speak to the mainstream, because morality clauses have likely been thrown out the window in Hollywood, but instead all the things that were blacklisted or banned are now encouraged, especially if you’re a young actor, to keep your fanbase alive…

If all the most popular girls of social media are randoms who get naked, then celebs in the industry who needs fans to get hired need to get naked too, it’s the whole Bella Thorne hustle…that would never have been allowed in the past but that is encouraged because CLOUT and VIRAL appeal is KEY to Hollywood surviving….

It’s a “if you can’t beat them, join em”…but in the best way…where old agents and execs are telling young girls to move to brooklyn to become nude IG models…even though they are on TV..

So this is Rowan doing her best woke, IG model, artist, who is on the queer spectrum, while being sex positive and all that other shit people seem to think is important when showing tits, even though they could jus show the tits…

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Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2021

31

Mar

Ashley Greene Pussy Stretch of the Day

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Ashley Greene may be trash….she may suck….she may have lucked out in getting that one casting that mattered only to become semi-famous, I mean there was a time people were talking about her, where you know she probably felt like the most important person in the room, or at least at her Florida High School reunion….I mean she was in Twilight…which I may have never seen and will never see but it was a huge deal, especially for a trashcan that lucked out….

Anyway, even at her peak she looked alright, like normal girl and like Olvia Culpo since her, but less of a Return on Investment, since Culpo basically only exists for fucking a Jonas brother, while Greene was already famous and only damaged her name, at least according to me, by LYING to her fans about FUCKING…

We could tell that the Florida girl was likely only in Twilight for fucking the right people, so pretending to NOT fuck the Jonas brother she was clearly fucking, because in that era sex was naughty or bad, where as in this era they all spread assholes on instagram for fun…..and I hate fucking liars…which is probably why I hate actors…since they are fucking liars..

Anyway, she’s making a lame at best comeback on social that I am sure no one gives a fuck about and since I like underdogs, now that she’s been given a reality check that she’s not that special, I’ll help her on that quest to get back into the scene….average at best or not….because I’m a nice guy.

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Posted in:Ashley Greene

2021

31

Mar

Wetspot Wednesday of the Day

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Wednesdays are my slow starting day because I hate Wet Spot Wednesdays, but in the time I’ve been doing them, when reinventing this site to go back to what it was initially designed to be, which is feature the insanity of the internet, instead of post shit talking celebs that people fan boy, leaving me obscure and along, to fend for myself in this dark and scary internet….so I’ve been doing Wet Spot for a few months now….and I’ve typically been repulsed by it, despite being into vagina….not that that’s saying much, you’d think all guys are into vaginas, but I have met guys over the years who are straight or claim to be straight, but hate looking at vaginas…I am not one of those guys…and the drippier, the mucus filled doesn’t throw me off….but the girls who were posting wet pussy challenges were girls old timers like me would expect to post that shit…making it just a gross out of context experience…but it’s growing on me, hotter girls Are showing their wet spots and what was once empowering and shameful is now just a fun use of a wet pussy…so I got in early on Wet Spots but Love where Wet Spots are going…>THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT…

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Posted in:WetSpot