I took the afternoon off to look at girls. I figure I work too damn hard, not because what I do is actually work, but since I don’t get paid it is a serious waste of time, especailly since you motherfuckers don’t read anything I fucking write, making me feel like I am partially insane […]

I was just sitting on a bench outside a Starbucks and some fit mom walked out wearing the tightest pussy-hugging pants I have ever seen. I got hypnotized by the shit and was pretty much counting the wrinkles in her labia and guaging how her clit would fit between my teeth when I got interrupted […]

My site fucking sucks and my post don’t appear when I write them, so you may be reading this days after I wrote it, which doesn’t really matter, because I’m not about to write anything life-changing, I’m too busy trying to seduce fake profiles on Twitter, cuz building relationships with men who pretend to be […]

I got food poisoning last night. I kinda deserved it because I like my women raw and my chicken rawer. I don’t know what that means, but I do know that I licked dirty slut ass and ate pink chicken and I woke up covered in fucking puke. Usually my hard liquor kills any bacteria […]

If a fat, sad looking girl comes up to you to talk about your dog, run the fuck away while you can, because just a few minutes ago, some fat girl started talking to my dog and telling me how she needs a dog, ideally a needy one because she’s really lonely…it was already too […]

I don’t live a very exciting life these days. I drink all day and try not to leave the house. I barely bother hitting bars or the park becuase it’s cold outside and I’m banned from half the places in the city, so I rely heavy on my internet girlfriends to entertain me, unfortunately, I […]

My birthday is not a national holiday, but it is a holiday to me. I figure that I’ve made it this far along that I might as well take time for myself to relax and celebrate as hard as I can because it’s pretty safe to say that surviving the shit I have done to […]