So I end up at a bar yesterday after a cop tries to give me a ticket for walking across the street on a green light but while the little hand was flashing and the place is fucking stupid. It’s an outdoor thing and I just want to get a couple of drinks in me […]

I only own one pair of underwear and I am the kind of guy who needs to wear clean underwear everyday, otherwise I smell my own dirty ass when I am sitting at the computer so I decided to do a load of laundry, my wife is too useless to take care of me, so […]

I figured no one would be reading the site today and I took advantage of that by ending up at a pub I had never been to before that I randomly walked into only be find that the waitresses wear thongs and bras as uniforms. They were old and haggard but it made for a […]

I know that no one is reading this because it is 4th of July, but I am expecting at least one of my 7 readers to be a loser with no friends who has no plans tonight and has decided to have a romantic night alone with a jar of hair conditioner because you’re too […]

I decided that I am getting old. After getting drunk all weekend I realized that I have no memory of anything I said or did and there was a time when getting drunk wouldn’t really make me black out. I know that I made a few girls feel awkward when telling them shit like that […]

I ran into some people I know who spend some time in LA and they told me that DJ AM, the guy I call gayer than bicycle shorts on an almost weekly basis has told them that he hates me. When I heard that news, I was pretty happy because it means that my message […]

I accidentally went in the kitchen and ate food that was in the fridge that had been left over from over a month ago. I was hungry and didn’t think it through. I guess the real highlight of the experience was that I was too lazy to wash a plastic fork I have lying around […]