I am still on my pursuit of happiness that is also known as the pursuit of holding Lohan’s hand…since we are in the same city and I figure what better way to celebrate my love for her or put the wheels in motion to date her to for the marketing of the site you know […]

The best thing about Miami so far has been trying to find Lohan to propose to her…I couldn’t find her so I settled on a 50 year old toothless black homeless chick who hadn’t showered in days..but I didn’t really propose to her…I just paid her to let me piss on her…drunk on the sun…. […]

Things are weird in Florida. I just saw Santa land in a helicopter while a bunch of prison escapee looking meth addicts in Christmas t-shirts…picked their scabs as their ghetto kids ate cotton candy… I also found out the price of rub and tugs, spoke about anal virginity and at least three girls told me […]

For some reason I always hate every person who has ever been in front of me in line at Starbucks…they are equally the fucking worst..even when they are hot mom’s and daughters in Yoga pants…but in their defines…I generally hate everyone…and everything…and the bigger issue is why the fuck was I at Starbucks…let’s just say […]

I am learning to be more positive. I figure life is short, let’s see flowers in everything , not death and destruction….so today when I took my monthly shower, I looked at my barely there penis and said “This penis would be pretty substantial, if it was a vagina”….#progress. HEre are some stepLINKS…. Bruce Jenner’s […]

One of life’s great tragedies is when the babe you met on TINDR shows up to meet you and is actually a 50 year dude…and not the 20 year old with a hot ass you thought she was going to be…but at least he wore a wig…it made it less gay…and just as weird… here […]

Being romantic is always fun because there isn’t enough romance in the world…until you cross that boundary of too much romance and you just become the creepy guy they’ve never met who is telling them how you are cutting their name into your arm…. Everyone is talking about the Boston Marathon Victim Costume Wearing Girl […]

Girls are sluts now…more than ever…begging for threesomes…fat chicks begging for “The D”…and they all get it…which for someone like me, with no soul, I appreciate soulless bitches, at least in conversation, pictures and videos…even when not very attractive..but then again, I also like giving homeless chicks gynaecological exams with my mouth…and making crackheads dance…and […]