It is a heatwave and I heard on the radio that fat people shouldn’t go outside, so I told my wife they were giving free food away in the park across the street, crossed my fingers and hoped nature took its course, called my friend with AC and sat on his couch all day listening […]

I spent the better part of my night last night surrounded by hundreds of women, unfortunately they all ignored me cuz I didn’t belong, but luckily there was open bar so I made myself at home….and it turns out that when you are the weird guy everyone pretends isn’t there, girls don’t notice when you […]

I am not entirely sure what is wrong with me – but I know it can’t be good. I think eating nothing buy no name brand chips and drinking shitty beer has finally caught up with me. I am fatter than ever and death may be around the corner…but I could also be being dramatic […]

The good thing about World Cup Soccer to someone who hates all sports because sports are kinda gay if you really break it down…you know cuz watching a group of men chasing each other around for a ball but aren’t allowed to use hands is pretty much the source of HIV…it’s the game they were […]