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Archive for the Bathing Suit Category

2010

02

Jun

Janice Dickinson Grabs Her Rotting Droopy Pussy in a Bathing Suit of the Day

If you were Janice Dickinson or somehow accidentally went home with Janice Dickinson, you’d probably want her covering up her pussy lip as much as possible. Partially because of the smell of rotting semen that she’s got lodged up there from a life of access and comdomless sex with strange men…since her lifestle made pregnancy impossible, but internal cumshots from strangers very possible, but also because the dying animal she calls her baby maker is hanging, floppy, and has little life left in it…shit is on it’s last legs…if pussy lips had legs…at least that’s what I can assume based on the rest of her body in this one-piece designed to cover up the rest of her body…Disgusting to some but heaven to me…cuz any pussy is better than the pussy I’m forced to run away from at least 3 times a week.


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Posted in:Bathing Suit|Janice Dickinson|Pussy

2010

24

May

Grace Jones in a Bathing Suit With Her Young White Boyfriend of the Day

Grace Jones’ boyfriend has the right idea. Move in on the 62 year old woman cuz she has money and it’s a hell of a lot better than working the gas station you met her at….and I guess Grace Jones has the right idea too, retire with a hired white cock to carry your shit for you and fuck you on command while you sit by the pool and remember a time she used to get positive male attention, because you can…Unfortunately, her gut exploded and her ass turend 62…not that I ever found her hot…but because no one wants to see that shit …except maybe the opportunistic….but even he probably does it with his eyes shut while pinching his nose like the asthmatic kid awkwardly jumping into the pool and these pictures aren’t so pleasant, but pussy in a bathing suit is pussy in a bathing suit…and I am a firm believer in taking what you can get, which is pretty much the reason I married my wife…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Grace Jones|IRC

2010

24

May

Charlotte Gainsbourg in a See Thru Bathing Suit of the Day

The nice thing about American Apparel is that the brand is created and run by a total fucking pervert, and as a total fucking pervert, part of me has to love and respect his ability to take his fetishes to the mainstream and make millions off the shit, when really he just wanted to see every single girl in the world wear a t-shirt make out of thin cotton with no bra so that he could see their nipples, and some how became an overpriced revolution….a revolution that has made going to the beach, the public pool, the mall, the movies, the night clubs a little more exciting than it used to be, because I know I’ll see at least one bitch in a see through or semi-see through shirt….

Here’s Charlotte Gainsbourg wearing what looks like an American Apparel bathing suit that didn’t really hold up when it got wet, because I can see her fucking bush….because American Apparel is made cheaper than a thai prostitute, but people pay crazy prices to be part of the craze and all I really have to say to this bitch is that we get that she’s french, obscure and thinks she’s an artist, but seriously, bush even on hipsters and hippies is too obvious and played out…I get that brazilians became mainstream and bush became trendy, but I know these pictures would be better if I could see lip, cuz pussy lip is my fetish, not that you care.

Here she is in another bathing suit – after making a costume change – cuz the other bathing suit was see thru

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Charlotte Gainsbourg|See Thru

2010

19

May

Naomi Watts’ Mom Ass in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

I do like watching mom’s at the public pool playing with their kids, usually because they are so focused on their bratty kids that they dont realize that half a pussy lip is hanging out of their bathing suit, or that their white bikini top is see through cuz we live in the ghetto and our stores don’t sell quality fabrics, but part of me still finds the whole mom thing disgusting, knowing a baby has passed through that pussy, knowing that pussy is being rolled up and stuffed into place like an old suitcase being overstuffed when you try to make the escape from the hell you are living…but half naked mom pussy is better than no pussy, so we get by and put our ideals behind us, and remember that sometimes “good enough” is enough…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Mom Ass|Naomi Watts

2010

29

Apr

Jenna Bentley is Some Playboy Model Lookin to Get Noticed of the Day

I don’t understand what is going on in a woman’s mind when she does this to herself or turns herself in this kind of novelty act. I know it has something to do with being raped or molested as a kid, or growing up as the ugly girl who got no male attention, who was always jealous of the girl in the classroom that all the boys wanted cuz she was staked, or maybe she realized that in America, it is just that easy to get herself in Playboy, all it takes is 5,000 dollar tits and a dream….not that being in Playboy really opens any doors for a bitch these days, which probably explains why she’s doing these staged pictures to get noticed….cuz after peaking in Playboy she realizes that she has no idea where to go next….and the whole thing isn’t hot…it’s actually really fucking poverty and desperate as far as I’m concerned….but tits are tits even if they’re stupid looking and in a cheap whore bikini….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Jenna Bentley|Playboy|Tit

2010

14

Apr

Miranda Kerr Ass in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Miranda Kerr is a bikini model, so she gets paid to wear bikinis. The whole thing makes no sense to me, because I am happy to see any bitch in a bikini, she doesn’t need to really know how to pose, she just has to be wearing the shit, but I’m not really complaining, because without bikini models, everyday girls wouldn’t put the effort into going to the gym and trying to get that bikini body they see in the magazines and catalogs and everyone would be slobby fat chicks…..

Sure seeing her with the shit untied and jacked up her ass is pretty fucking amazing, but it’s the same old boring shit, I’d rather see her model her bikini spread eagled with the shit hanging out of her gaping cunt, but that’s just me….

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Miranda Kerr

2010

25

Mar

Kesha and Her Shitty Body in a Bathing Suit of the Day

I hate giving this kind of trash any fucking attention. Really. I like to pretend Lady Gaga and all her followers or low-grade copycats don’t actually exist, since part of me hates that they are on TV, making money, and have a fan base, but all I needed was her in a shitty one-piece, showing off her shitty body, with a shitty Pixies tank top covering her shitty tits, to make me change my mind. I’m such a slut, way too fucking easy….seriously, I made an effort to ignore this joke of a human cuz I hate knowing she has a distorted perception of what’s actually going on in her career and she goes to bed thinking she’s amazing, that she’s made it, cuz that’s what the media, her bank account, her number one song are telling her, instead of her thinking the truth which is that she’s a fucking joke that the media has made big for some fucking reason I will never understand…but I believe the truth will come out eventually…the free ride can’t last forever….at least I hope it doesn’t….because she’s fucking ugly….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Ke$ha|Kesha

2010

22

Mar

Phoebe Price in Some Staged Beach Photoshoot of the Day

I still don’t know who the fuck this Phoebe Price is. I just know she took her old lady body to the beach to have some staged pictures of her in some stripper gear taken…This gold dress is straight from the sex shop Phoebe probably buys her very large dildos at, as most 50 year old lookin’ women, especially the slutty ones in their animal print one-piece porno bathing suit can only be her mating call for attention….It’s like she’s is Blanche from the Golden Girls, craving to get her big southern box filled with whatever Kentucky Fried phallus she can find…including black dudes…to live out slave fantasies she’s had since she was a little horny teenager back home on the platation that finances her ridiculous California life….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Beach|Phoebe Price

2010

12

Mar

Julie Bowen’s Weird Ass in a Weird Bikini of the Day

Here is some middle-aged pussy on the beach in Hawaii becuase they are shooting her TV show there and her ass looks pretty fucking weird in this weird bikini. I don’t have anything more to say about this because it is Friday, no one is reading the site and no one really cares about this this bitch…or her weird ass in a weird bikini.

But she made up for it with her tits…

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Julie Bowen

2010

12

Mar

Sarah Hyland Wearing a Bathing Suit of the Day

I don’t know who this Sarah Hyland chick is – but apparently she’s on TV. I did look up her age, because she’s definitely not worth getting arrested over and it turns out that she’s 19 so despite looking 14, she’s legal and I guess that’s the whole problem with sex offenders, you see there are 14 year olds out there with 32F bra sizes and 20 year olds her look 11, but the guys who fuck the 14 year olds are criminals and the ones who fuck the 20 year olds who look 11 aren’t and I guess all I gotta say is that they better keep a close eye on this Hyland’s boyfriend after she dumps him, I have a feeling he’ll be the weirdo next to the park playground…and for anyone else out there into little boys dressed like girls on the beach…this is for you….

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Sarah Hyland|Teen

2010

11

Mar

Michael J. Fox’s Wife in a Bathing Suit of the Day

People seem to care so much about these earthquakes predicting the end of the world that hit Haiti and Chile, but they don’t seem to care so much about Michael J. Fox, even though everyday feels like an earthquake to him…so maybe we need a Tsunami warning, cuz even I know earthquakes in water cause Tsunamis….

Except maybe today, because here he is in picture of Michael J. Fox following his wife of 30 years on the beach living large, showing the paparazzi that he’s still got it, but showin’ off his magic fingers, thanks to Parkinsons making him a human vibrator, behind her back, letting us know he’s still got it, without her even knowing he’s showin’ off his pussy….

If anything, I’m pretty sure he called the paparazzi, to just show off, clear things up for his disease, cuz like all disabled people, the public starts treating you differently, and forget that you can get good pussy, even if it married you before you were disabled and feels trapped and like it has to stay with you to not look like an evil person, but like my friend in a wheel chair, Michael J. Fox is all about milking the pussy he gets and making it clear that not everyone suffering from the shit is 90 years old in a home, but can be in their 40s with pretty solid bodied 40 year old pussy he just needs to stand next to to make her cum. He’s like riding the fucking washing machine…

That said, part of me loves one-piece bathing suits, not because they remind me of little kids at swim class, but because sometimes they hide the stretch marks and unappealing shit a bikini doesn’t hide and I’ve got a serious love for anything that can touch pussy, tits and ass at the same time, even if it is just a piece of clothing.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Michael J. Fox|wife

2010

09

Mar

Big Island, Little Woman in a Bathing Suit of the Day

They make midget porn for a reason, and that reason is that people do have midget fetishes. I don’t really get what people find hot about midgets, I guess it could have to do with their little dicks lookin’ huge in a midget hand, or maybe it’s like fucking an awkwardly shaped kid without the legal issues, or maybe they have really tight pussies, and really the whole thing isn’t that big of a deal, because despite popular belief, midgets are humans to, so it’s not like fucking a farm animal, or a squrrel at the park, or random rotting food you’ve pulled out of the garbage. Sure, I’m not entirely a fan of the midget body, I kinda like my girls long, lean and not retarded looking, but there are far worse things a person could be rubbing their dicks off to, so I figure we should celebrate it, because like black people, amputees, Mexicans, retards and homeless, the midgets are human too, and shouldn’t be ignored when they prance around in bikinis, no matter how much it feels like a fuckin’ circus act.

Her name is Amy Roloff, she is a little person in a big world, she exploits her midget stature more than the hooker I knew exploited the scar on her leg that could be used as a second pussy, so I don’t feel bad pointing and laughing at this freaky image.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Amy Roloff|Bathing Suit|Beach

2010

25

Jan

Jennifer Hudson Does the Grimace on the Beach of the Day

Here are some pictures of Jennifer Hudson in a bikini proving that just because your whole family got murdered in some gutter housing project crime, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun spending your hollywood money on a luxury vacation, because let’s face it, you weren’t the one gunned down in the housing project, you got your shit together and made something of yourself…you can’t feel guilty about getting out of that shit while leaving them all behind to get gunned down in a housing project. They coulda tried out for American Idol too, no one was stoppin’ them….

See it’s a survival of the fittest situation and based on Hudson’s body she may not be the fittest, but she always wins out on at the all you can eat buffet and that’s gotta count for something….on a sidenote though, I always thought she was a lot fatter than my wife and it turns out that she’s not, forcing me to come to terms with the fact that my wife is fatter than Jennifer Hudson…I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going to go try to kill myself and fail because I never succeed at anything, even suicide…..

And here she is doing the Grimace….

Pics via INF

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Jennifer Hudson|Purple

2009

23

Dec

Caroline Kennedy Shows Off her Fat Pussy in a Bathing Suit of the Day

I love jerking off to big vagina mounds on dead president’s daughters in bathing suits. It’s a niche fetish that is pretty fucking rare but every once in a while the worlds align themselves and give me the fucking gold. Today is one of those days.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Caroline Kennedy|Pussy

2009

14

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio One Piece Bathing Suit Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio brought her disgusting mom body out in a bathing suit because I guess Victoria’s Secret is contractually obligated to give her work and the whole thing makes me feel really sorry for her husband and his poor planning. He thought he was locking down Alessandra Ambrosio, the hugely successful bikini and lingerie model, but instead he turned her into this. Disgusting.

Here’s the proof that karma’s a fucking bitch…and it is really pictures like this that make me really happy to be me and good about myself…you know with my obese wife and poverty cuz it coulda been worse…I coulda married a supermodel who ended up like this…and by this I mean pretty fucking hot. I suck at life…

BONUS – Here are some actual BIKINI pictures to show you how GROSS she is and really drive my point home….

Pics via Bauer

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bathing Suit|One Piece