Body Archives - Page 2 of 3 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

31

Jul

Some Bai Ling in Some Skimpy Outfit of the Day

It’s hard not to be into a tight Asian body, that even if it’s on some useless, possibly 50 year old, cunt, who really isn’t all that useless if you think about it, because she exposes her nipples on the fuckin’ regular, because it gets the inner pedophile out of you when you get to fuck them and shit won’t get you arrested or shanked in prison for stealing innocence, if if the vagina was so small it made you think you did, but I guess I’ll never know just how small an asian vagina actually is since I am a married man….but I’m sure Bai Ling does, since she has one and I’m also sure she’s done everything in her power to beat that shit up and make it look as big as the other girls in Hollywood, but all her extra meat went to her nipples…

I don’t know what I am talking about. I just wanna put that out there if you’re reading this scratchin’ your head wondering what the fuck I am getting at, assuming someone actually reads this….even though I know they don’t….

Posted in:Bai Ling|Body|Vagina

2009

27

Jul

Elisabetta Gregoraci in a Bikini With Her Billion Dollar Tits of the Day

8 Comments »

When you are an old fat billionaire you not only get to fuck young tight bodied wonderbra models, but you get to marry them and cheat on them with even younger tighter models, while the original young tight wonderbra model won’t do shit about it, because she’s hooked on the lifestyle and you were smart enough to sign a prenup leaving her nothing, not that you’d want to fuck other pussy with this laying in your bed everynight, and by not wanting to fuck other pussy I mean, all pussy gets boring, even if it is attached to the hottest body, because guess what bitches, no matter who they are, get fuckin’ annoying, and new bitches keep shit fresh, especially when you have the old ball and chain at home waiting for you as a back-up in the event the new one isn’t as good as she is proving yet again that being a billionaire makes for a good fuckin’ life.

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Elisabetta Gregoraci|Flavio Briatore

2009

13

Jul

Lisa “Pussyface” Rinna’s Jacked Body of the Day

6 Comments »

I used to know a bitch who was into suction on her pussy. She made this device with a plastic cup and a garden hose that she’d but over her vagina and start sucking and one day I was lucky enough to watch. She said something it being the only way she can get off, but I’ll tell you the space creature shit that happened to her vagina under that kind of pressure was disgusting as a vagina should never be seen under those conditions, and it was the one time I couldn’t get off to a naked bitch who wasn’t my wife and the shit looked a lot like Lisa Rinna’s mouth.

Here is Lisa Rinna on the beach and she is fuckin’ jacked and I guess not eating is the least she can do after spending all that money over the years on lips, tits, and labia reduction surgery that has yet to be confirmed but would explain what the hell is on her face.

Posted in:Body|Lisa Rinna|Ripped|Tits

2009

05

May

Kelly Ripa Rock Hard Bikini Body of the Day

8 Comments »

I always liked Kelly Ripa. She made me laugh. She was little and kinda hot and she liked to get fucked. At least that what I assumed after she had all those kids because getting pregnant involves fucking. See, I am not as dumb as you thought.

What I don’t like is that her her body is so fuckin’ rock hard, sure I always shit on mom’s post pregnancy, for being ruined, and Kelly is no exception to the fucking rule, because instead of being doughy, she’s jacked on fuckin’ steroids and the way her tits are pulsating with testosterone off her chest is some weird fucking look.

That said, I wouldn’t mind watching her pussy flex its muscles. But that’s cuz I like pussy.

Posted in:Body|Kelly Ripa|Rock Hard

2009

21

Apr

Lisa Rinna Shows Off Her Tight Body in a Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

Lisa Rinna is old, doctored, and pretty fucking fit. She’s in this month’s playboy, I haven’t seen it yet, but with that vagina on her face, I guess there’s really no point in seeing her actual pussy, it’ll just be some deflated mess in her panties that will just let me down and my life is filled with enough of that, so I don’t want to deal with it right now. You know keep the dream of a collagen pussy alive.

I think these pics are from the weekend and hit yesterday, I’m slow. Deal with it.

Hey Fat Chicks, if you’re wondering how she stays fit, watch this video….

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Hot|Lisa Rinna|Tight

2009

06

Jan

Jenny McCarthy’s Hot Body in a Bikini with her Brother of the Day

5 Comments »

I always wanted to punch Jenny McCarthy in the face, which may not be saying much since I want to punch most women in the face, I think it’s one of those wanting to do what you’re not allowed to do, you know the same reason your 15 year old daughter is rippin’ lines and sucking two dicks at a time while skipping school, only a lot more angry. The reason I wanted to punch her in the face wasn’t just because she had fake tits and a pussy, but because she was fucking annoying. I’d see her yelling aggressively at me on TV back in the 90s used to piss me off in a big way and I’d want to shove that big horse head in the motherfucking trough and hold her under the water until I felt her stop resisting, knowing that enough oxygen was deprived from her brain to leave her in the corner playing with rocks and drooling, calm and not bouncing off the walls screaming at me, like her autistic son, but her body is pretty fucking spectacular considering all she’s been through and how old she is, so seeing her in some bikini pictures works for me since her screechy annoying yelps can’t be heard, but the real thing that makes these pictures hot is that this couple look like fraternal twins and everyone loves seeing or thinking about twins fucking, it’s next masturbation we can envy since we’ve exhausted every masturbation method possible to keep things fresh and don’t have a twin to feel like we’re fucking ourselves.

Here are those pics…

Posted in:Body|Hot|Jenny McCarthy|Tight

2008

07

Mar

Claudia Schiffer’s Hot Mom Body of the Day

8 Comments »

I get a lot of hate mail from both men and women for making fun of pregnancy and how it rapes your body. I say shit like the reason a woman loves her baby so much is because of that baby, no other man will ever love her. It’s kinda like how every girl I’ve ever dated has turned lesbian for a couple of years after dating me, and it’s not because I was too much man and destroyed them physically, it’s more like I’m vile and turned them off the gender as a whole because I am just that good at being vile, but I gotta give it to Claudia Schiffer, she’s really bounced back and has a nice slim body after making babies. Sure her ass is kinda flat, but I’d take a mom with a flat ass over a fat ass, but then again my opinion is not fact since she’s wearing pants and I can’t see the kind of damage passing that kid has done to her vagina…I heard she couldn’t walk for a week…no wait that was you, after letting your friend fuck you up the ass because you were dying for human contact and didn’t care where it came from…..

Posted in:Body|Claudia Schiffer|Hot|Mom

2007

04

Oct

I am – Anna Kournikova Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some Anna Kournikova Bikini pictures, because although she’s getting older, her tight Russian body in a bikini never gets old to me.

The thing I like about Russian chicks is that they have low standards. They are hot and aren’t looking for much more than food on the table and citizenship to a new prosperous country. They grew up as communists with rationed bread and toilet paper and the freedom we have to go and buy as much bread as we want is appealing enough for them to fall in love with you, have your babies and marry you. You don’t need to be famous to bang these bitches, you just need a passport where as North American girls are all materialistic and shit and want their good lookin’, rich, provider of a man who treats them like shit.

I guess the point of all this is to say, start saving your money, because a trip to Russia will make you feel like the rockstar you always wanted to be and maybe you’ll be able to bring home something nice for your mother who is scared you’re going to die alone and a virgin. At least she cares.

Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova, the least successful tennis player but probably the best thing to happen to tennis because she wasn’t some brute lesbian grunting on the court, but a dainty little russian who we all pretended her gasps and grunts were sounds of her orgasms. Nothing like shutting your eyes and turning up the volume to a tennis match, that shit’s like porno and we all know how you feel about porn.

Thanks to the dude who sent these in, I’ll be your mail order bride, but I doubt you’d be able to stomach my stink. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Anna Kournikova Bikini Top and Short Shorts
Some Anna Kournikova Black Bikini Top
Some Anna Kournikova Cleavage

2007

07

May

I am – Brooke Hogan Dancing Around in her Underwear of the Day

65 Comments »

I know that a girl in her underwear is enough to make you happy. I know that you’re one of those guys at the strip club who sits by the stage clapping and urging the bitches on. It’s people like you that fuck it up for the rest of us, because it gives them a false sense of worth, making them feel pretty and wanted and putting them on a some kind of ego trip, making them forget they are whores.

So these pictures of Brooke Hogan make you happy, because a girl in underwear is better than a girl in clothes especially on the internet.

When I look at these pictures, I just remember a fat girl trying to get skinny to have a career, and when she reached her ideal weight, she decided to get naked, in hopes of getting assholes like you, who are easy to fucking please at her show.

I am not saying I wouldn’t stuff her like a turkey if I had the chance, I am just saying that bitch has no business doing whatever it is that she does, and being Hulk Hogan’s shadow, is probably not a place anyone should be, because he’s a piece of Florida trash with big biceps, stupid hair and crazy pants….and she may not be wearing crazy pants, but bitch could probably beat the fuck out of me with legs like that. Ya’ Heard?

I forgot where I was going with this, because I am drunk, but I do hate people who cheer on strippers, because it makes getting a lap dance next to impossible….Cuddles….

2006

02

Feb

Mariah Carey Barbados Bikini

1 Comment »

These bitch needs more than just a vacation. She should be spending her money on a personal trainer, some lipo and a little breast lift. I hate being the person who attacks bitche’s body cuz I know that’s all everyone who posts these pics is going to say. I’d like to make it very clear to all my readers, that I have no problem with fat girls, I am married to a fat girl. I don’t want to give you the impression that I am shallow, cuz I am not, I like anything with a vagina. When I used to be a dog breeder, I’d drown all the little boy dogs, cuz they didn’t have little dog vaginas, like Mariah.

Posted in:barbados|Bikini|Body|Mariah Carey|Unsorted

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