Cameltoe Archives - Page 3 of 4 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

27

Mar

Hayden Panettiere has a Lame Cameltoe of the Day

I always love when girls wear vagina hugging pants because it gives me enough information to visualize what they look like naked. I know that the chances of them ever showing me their goods are pretty fuckin’ slim, especially since they are young and hot and sitting across from me at the coffee shop, often times telling their boyfriends how some creepy old guy keeps lookin’ at them and it’s making them uncomfortable.

Since Hayden pretty much has as much has the same body type and sex appeal as the dresser I pulled out of the trash last year to help store my wife’s disgusting clothes that I was tired of seeing in piles throughout our room, since I am quite the homemaker, the only reason I’d want to see anything hugging her crotch is to see if she’s got a bigger dick than me, which she does. That’s pretty much the reason I’ve never done any gang bangs in my life, I just know I’d always fall short and wouldn’t be able to live with myself being that inadequate….I’d volunteer to box Panettiere to prove that despite having a smaller dick I am still all man, but I know she’d win. So it’s pretty much a losing day for a loser today.

Posted in:Boring|Cameltoe|Hayden Panettiere

2008

25

Mar

Sophie Monk’s Got an Outty Vagina of the Day

6 Comments

I don’t really know if Sophie Monk’s got one of those vaginas where the clit hood pokes out like it’s stickin’ its tongue out at you but it looks like she does in these tight pants she’s got jacked up and I find that hot. I used to be all about the coinslot because I was convinced they didn’t exist so I’d ask every girl I came across if she had just a slit and they would be all awkward before telling me I’d never find out. None of that really matters, what does matter is that despite her being damaged goods for gettin’ with the Good Charlotte sister, I still think she’s got it going on and can see past that. The way I justify it to myself is that she’s from Australia and in Australia they do things different. People who are lame here are cool there and vice versa, so I can’t blame her for falling into his trap, it’s probably just a cultural thing. I remember seeing video of the New Kids on the Block in Japan 2 years after their careers in North America died and girls were still fainting for those poofters, and a lot of dlisters here are huge stars out there so it all makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense is how he went from this chick to Paris Hilton in what’s gotta be a major fuckin’ rebound, we’ve all been there….but I can guarantee whatever kinda heat she’s got packin’ in her pants has nothin’ on this girl’s outty pussy and the truth is that neither vaginas have anything on his brother’s cock that he misses so much….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Sophie Monk|Vagina

2008

28

Feb

Rihanna Knows How to Put on a Concert People Everywhere Can Appreciate of the Day

9 Comments

Rihanna seems to know how to put on a performance that reminds me of the time I accidentally walked into a fetish night party at a bar I used to frequent. I wasn’t too thrown off by all the nasty lookin’ people in their latex assless pants being dragged around on leashes, until I realized that it was a gay party and that the only girl in the place who had amazingly huge tits, and who I just let suck me off was actually I tranny packin heat. I didn’t mind too much, she was wearing lipstick and that’s all I really look for in a woman and she gave a really good blow job too, I guess she was just overcompensating for not having a vagina….

Speakin’ of suckin dick to overcompensate, we saw that Rihanna sucked a singing – proving she sucked dick to get to the top and is still suckin’ dick with some popstar dancing kid named Chris Brown , who has more money and vagina than you ever will and he’s only 18, so it’s only natural that she takes that attitude of overcompensating to the stage and since she can’t suck our dicks, she dresses sluttier than any other performer and that makes her the highest paid stripper who doesn’t get naked out there and these are the pics of her in Ireland last night.

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2007

27

Nov

I am – Kristen Bell’s Shitty Cameltoe of the Day

2 Comments

I don’t watch Heroes, so I don’t understand all the hype, but I met a weird dude in the park who’s watched the whole season 10 times because shit changed his life. He was trying to convince me that my life was lacking in a big way because I wasn’t up on this shit and I had to clarify that my life is lacking in a big way for a lot more reasons than not watching some stupid TV show that people like him are obsessed with.

Either way, Kristen Bell is on the show and here she is walking in some kind of fitness pants that are kinda huggin her box, and despite not letting us know what she’s actually got inside the box, it’s good enough for me because every time I leave my house now, girls are rocking spandex or leggings, and I guess they don’t realize that leggings are one step away from naked and I can pretty much make out everything when they bend over to pick up my “packages” I deliberately knock off their table to get a better look of their junk from behind…or even when I stare at their mounds when they are just innocently sitting there …I know Kristen Bell isn’t rockin’ a pair of leggings, but that’s what this shit reminded me of and since I’m writing this shit, I guess I’m like Bobby Brown and more recently Britney Spears and it’s my prerogative.

I was at my local Starbucks the other day because it’s a cheap escape since the dude there hooks me up with free coffee and that’s a price I can afford. There was a young girl in her leggings with some dude and they were all in teenage love and shit. They kept kissing like no one else in the world mattered, meaning they didn’t notice me creeping on them the whole fucking time. Shit got pretty fucking intense after it went on for 45 minutes of them just making out and I couldn’t grasp the concept. I think the longest I’ve ever kissed a girl was for under 3 minutes and that whole time I was just trying to figure out how I was going to get my dick in her mouth or my fingers in her cooch. I ended up moving to the seat next to them and whispering in the dude’s ear “go for her cooter” cuz I figured he needed some pointers and his faggy intense kissing was getting to me. They ended up stopping, dropping and rolling….which was a good thing because if he wasn’t going to make I move, I was and I don’t need that kind of bad press….actually I do, my site sucks. At least I know for next time.

Related Posts:

Kristen Bell in a Bikini on the Set of Heroes
Kristen Bell in Another Bikini on Set
Kristen Bikini Bottom Photoshoot

Posted in:Cameltoe|Kristen Bell|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Jenny McCarthy Bikini Pics of the Day

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No one seems to care that Jenny McCarthy is dating her long lost brother, I guess they think it is magical that 2 retarded faces came together like puzzle pieces from across the country and met in hollywood to be together. Their parents would be so proud.

I remember the first few time I watched porn in the early 80s, they always had an incest theme, which is kinda weird, but I guess was a fantasy of the era. I am talking more than one movie that I saw was about a father fucking his daughter or a sister fucking her brother, and that’s the shit people were getting off to. I didn’t think it actually happened, it was just so naughty that they got off to the concept and not to their siblings…if you know what I mean…

Then I met Roy, this dude who lived in the suburbs who was about 14 and dude came into school one day bragging about how he got laid. This went on for about 3 months before we called him out on who he was banging and all he would say was this older chick. We ended up finding out that his fat sister was jealous of all her friends who were getting cock so she started banging him, she was probably 18 or 19 at the time and we were all disgusted because she was his sister but that was before realizing how hot the shit was except for her being fat…

Either way, here are pics of Jenny McCarthy in a bikini with her rockin’ tight body for a 40 year old…

Related Posts:

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach
Shitty Jenny McCarthy Upskirt of the Day
Jenny McCarthy Hangs With Carmen Electra

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Jenny McCarthy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D'Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

0 Comments

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D’Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

0 Comments

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback's Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

0 Comments

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will admit that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Some Old Jessica Simpson Camel Toe
Some Old Heidi Klum Cameltoe Pic
Some Justine Henin Cameltoe on the Courth
Some Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini Because Her Name is Elizabeth….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback’s Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

1 Comment

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will admit that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Some Old Jessica Simpson Camel Toe
Some Old Heidi Klum Cameltoe Pic
Some Justine Henin Cameltoe on the Courth
Some Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini Because Her Name is Elizabeth….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Pam Anderson Parties in Hooters Uniform of the Day

0 Comments

I know that Pam Anderson was one of the lucky big breasted sluts who didn’t have to spend her career taking orders at the local hooters. She was one of those big breasted girls who was able to get in Playboy and land roles in shows like Baywatch that gave her celebrity status for having big tits, while most big breasted sluts were forced to work for tips or work the pole to pay off the tit implants but that didn’t stop her from reminding us all that she knows her role in the world.

Reality is that I am posting these pictures because seeing drunk old ladies is a bit of a fetish of mine. Whenever I get to a bar and see them in the corner alone, preying on young dudes with their tits flopping all over the place, I am compelled to watch like shit’s something you’d see on the nature channel. I know that unsuspecting dudes can’t fight off their years of training with men and when a bitch tells you to fuck her it’s pretty hard to say no, especially when you know she’s got a husband at home and a lot of experience and pent up sex drive that will destroy your cock.

I am also posting these because bitch has a pretty controlled cameltoe going down, and this is the kind of girl who you’d expect to see vagina lips hanging out of the bottom of her shorts, and having such a big vagina under control and seemingly normal sized is something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s something that takes years to master and that skill is probably part of the reason she made it to where she has today…

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