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Archive for the Lindsay Lohan Category

2009

16

Jun

Lindsay Lohan Twitter Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Lohan twitter propers. Sure she doesn’t respond to my messages directed at her, but she does let me follow her and she follows me and that’s good enough. The only problem is that I fucking hate twitter and never read other people’s updates, I find it dull and irritating because I generally hate everyone, so when she posted these amazing pictures of her half naked, covering her amazing titties with a wig, like some kind of hippie being suggestive at woodstock or some shit, I totally missed the fuckin’ boat. It’s not the first time. I just hope this is a sign of good things to come, ideally me, all over myself to dirtier pics of her that she posts on twitter, but unfortunately, I’m not really a good thing.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Topless

2009

12

Jun

Lohan’s Ass in Leggings of the Day

5 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is a fucking star. I don’t care what all the haters say, because I got a feeling she’s going back to the top, as soon as she drops the latch on that is her DJ girlfriend who is bringing her the fuck down and distracting her from making magic. I mean Samantha Ronson seems harmless and all, but she’s not an idiot, if there’s no Lindsay Lohan running to her house everynight, the DJ gigs, the paparazzi, and pretty much everything she’s worked towards the last 3 years brainwashing Lindsay will go to fuckin’ shit.

I got an email from some asshole who didn’t understand why I give Lohan so much praise, or why I say she’s hot, and I think the reason is because she is.

I’m so smitten on this bitch that I even planned a big birthday celebration for her last year, where I was gonna jump out of a cake, but she didn’t show up, which is probably a good thing, because it got pretty weird pretty fast, since I couldn’t afford a real cake and jumping out of a twinkie is pretty impossible, and smearking it all over myself in my bedroom while crying just wasn’t a good look, you know, not my proudest moment.

Here are some pics of Lohan, to remind us all of a brighter tomorrow.

Posted in:Ass|Lindsay Lohan

2009

10

Jun

Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian See Through Slumber Party of the Day

1 Comment »

I have this fantasy of lesbian slumber parties that involves a group of teenage girls having pillow fights in their boyshort underwear because I am fucking cliche and that’s what lesbian slumber parties are all about. You know that whole experimental bullshit where you can sit around the next day and giggle about how dykey you were the night before, but halfway into the fantasy that Katy Perry song comes on and I look to find the asshole who turned it on and it’s fucking’ Samantha Ronson in her hat djing the lesbian slumber party event, forcing me to jump off of the tree branch I am perched on, where I am peeping in on the lesbian slumber party because I wasn’t invited since I have a cock and because I am an old pervert who scares teenage girls having pillow fights in their boyshort underwear.

I feel like Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s slumber parties aren’t as eventful as the lesbian slumber parties I dream about, but I wouldn’t mind seeing it.

Posted in:Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|See Through

2009

09

Jun

Lindsay Lohan Rocks Some Little Shorts of the Day

9 Comments »

There’s a rumor that Lohan was wearing an engagement ring, that I assume she got from Samantha Ronson and the whole thing is pretty gay, you know, since they are lesbians, but not as gay as the dude I met in a bar when I was wasted who took a liking to me, who followed me around everywhere I went, who went so far as to jump on my back for a piggyback ride and who asked to spend the night at my house, despite the numerous times I told him I was a married man who didn’t roll like that, who fed me roofies, or something that led me to not remember anything from the night, but he was nice enough to drop me an email yesterday that read “you, me and a tub of butter is heaven” and I found a 50 in my pants, so I am really not sure what that’s all about, but I’m gonna pretend I didn’t let him give me a blowjob because I’m sure I didn’t, that’s not really what I am into but the only thing I am really sure of right now are Lohans hot skinny legs in shorts…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Shorts

2009

08

Jun

Lindsay Lohan in Some See Through Shit of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t know what kind of mindfuck Samantha Ronson has played on Lindsay Lohan, but I can assume it’s some pretty fuckin potent. Not only did this nobody, rich kid, “DJ” take the hurting actress and turn her into a fuckin lesbian, but now she’s got her in a chase around the fuckin’ world.

Not only can Lindsay Lohan do better for herself with hotter pussy, but letting Ronson fuck off, will free up some time to focus on her career instead of obsessing over this manipulative bitch. Unless it is all lies for the media, which would probably make the most sense…you know to stay in the media and keep the paparazzi takin’ pics and who reall cares….

I’m just ready for a Lohan comeback because she’s not going to be 22 forever and here she is showing off some see thru bullshit that isn’t see thru over the weekend in the UK.

Here she is leaving her hotel showing some stomach…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|See Through

2009

04

Jun

Perez Hilton gets Paid to Put Vagina on his Site of the Day

7 Comments »

I don’t understand how Perez Hilton can post a picture of Lindsay Lohan’s vagina, make medical references to it, stating it has a wart/herpe on it, like he isn’t a faggot who has never seen a vagina and still gets advertisers, mainstream appeal, featured on TV shows and be considered a safe for work media outlet that makes millions a year.

I refuse to censor pictures of tits, and advertisers call me a fucking porn site. I tell the advertisers I try to get, like movie companies, record companies, video game companies, that if people come to my site to jerk off, they’ve got serious fuckin issues and are the same people who can get off on the bus to random girls showing a little too much leg or cleavage and the whole thing is fucking bullshit.

That said, here’s Lohan flashing some vagina lip, I figure the picture is too small to tell what the goods actually look like and I’d rather lay her out in a nicer setting and give her vagina the opportunity to perform, instead of this surprise attack, because this is an obscure pussy slip but I want to see a pussy performance, with fireworks and all….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Vagina Flash

2009

28

May

Some Lindsay Lohan in Leggings of the Day

No Comments »

I like to think that Lindsay Lohan is a really good friend of mine. Sure I’ve never met her, I’ve never really spoke to her, my only relationship with her is when I left some creepy messages on a voicemail that someone claimed was hers, but she is the person who comes to me in my dreams, wearing nothing but a sheer top, like some kind of guardian angel who will one day carry me away to a better place and I guess it could all stem from my imagination, maybe from the hard drug use, but I really think it’s something bigger, it gives me hope…a hope that one day lost lovers can be reunited a few months after a public break-up, as she constantly runs back to Samantha Ronson’s house, not that I ever think she was dating her, I mean how could she commit to someone while constantly coming to me in my motherfuckin dreams.

Sidenote, I am dying on the inside today

And with a costume change….

Posted in:Leggings|Lindsay Lohan

2009

20

May

Lindsay Lohan and Her Underwear Brim of the Day

2 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan is my seems like a sweet girl who is just misunderstood. People just like pickin’ on her because of rumors of her taking multiple men into the bathroom at clubs and parties, or because she’s rumored to be the washed up den mother who pounces at any new cock in the industry, only to get rejected, because she’s a liability and no one wants to touch her for various reasons. Like studios can’t get movies insured, actors don’t want to be associated with her crazy and she is rumored to be a paparazzi whore, who is always in the media because she tips the fuckers off to not be forgotten. But she’s still Lindsay fucking Lohan and here she is showing off her lesbian underwear waist-band that I’m not convinced is so lesbian but I am convinced would be pretty spicy to suck on and wrap around my flacid dick in some kind of panty fetish porn scene starring me.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Underwear

2009

15

May

Lindsay Lohan’s Robber is Not Me of the Day

2 Comments »

Lohan’s house was robbed, or her alarm went off, or something that involved the police showing up at her house, only to find it messy, and for some reason the media went nuts about that shit, like being a sloppy fucking slob of a girl is that big of a deal. Pretty much every girl I’ve met has been a fucking pig, they never pick up after themselves and expect me to do all the work, and I am not even talking about my wife, who doesn’t even bother washing and smells of rotting fucking pussy.

Either way, I just wanted to clear up that I wasn’t the guy who tried to break into her house, despite my unrequited love for her, because if I had broken in, I would have done it when she was home and forced her into marriage or at least into letting me jerk off on her dirty panties. True story.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Robber

2009

12

May

They Say Lindsay Lohan is Pregnant of the Day

7 Comments »

They say Lindsay Lohan is 7 weeks pregnant and doesn’t know the father. I say, she finally got that cup of sperm I mailed her as a gift after hearing about the break-up and artificially inseminated herself and that’s why she’s doesn’t know who the father is because we haven’t met.

Despite strongly believing in ABORTING THE MISSION, I am willing to be a father to this single mother household. I guess I just asked Lohan to marry me. I can’t wait to hear from her people with their answer.

The truth is that I don’t believe she is pregnant and if she is it is some immaculate conception, Jesus Christ shit, because last time I checked, eating pussy doesn’t get you knocked the fuck up. So I guess that makes her some holy figure that the rest of you can start praying to, and I’ll jusy say “I told you so” because I’ve always known she was an angel.

I guess the real truth is that no one really knows what the truth is because celebrity is just a series of lies and cover-ups so I’m just posting this because I find the whole thing entertaining enough while sitting on my couch staring out the window at my Asian neighbor hanging her laundry to dry fantasizing about taking off those oversized panties she just hung up, with my teeth. My life is very simple….

Here is Lohan showing off her “baby bump” and by that I mean her hip bones and skinny goodness…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Pregnant