Unsorted Archives - Page 86 of 511 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

24

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse’s Bra of the Day

This bitch is a wreck and that’s why I like her. She reminds me of most of the hookers I could afford when hookers was my hobby and there’s just something so irresistible about a bitch who’s hooked on drugs. I don’t know if it’s her emaciated body that makes her head look like a bobble head or whether it’s the smell of her unclean panties or if it’s the fact that bitch will do anything for a hit and that usually leads to cheap fucking blowjobs..

I was at a bar the other day and I met some 60 year old woman who was really into herself and thought she looked fucking awesome. She was telling me how most people think she looked 45 and expected me to agree, but I didn’t bother. She went on to tell me that she had just been released from the psych ward because her 2 kids committed her. When I asked her if she was crazy she said it was all a misunderstanding and that her daughter was just out to get her. She told me that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she was all twitchy and jacked on meds, and looked like she was about to cry. Whenever I tried to change the subject, because I don’t really give a fuck about some senior citizen’s insanity, she kept bringing it up and saying how she missed her kids and grandkids. After about an hour of this, she pulled out a bag of meth and offered me a hit, I said no because I got enough fucking problems, but at the same time thought it was so hot to see someone that old rockin’ out so cool, because like I said there’s nothing hotter than a bitch with an addiction, no matter what age they are, or what mental problems they have….

Either way, here she is yesterday carrying a picture of herself, with her bra poking through because you love her……

Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day
Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Meth Skin of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Bra|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol's Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol’s Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage

Posted in:cleavage|Rachel Nichols|stepSTALKER|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Fat Man and a Little Girl of the Day

No Comments »

This video would probably be more funny if I claimed he was a pedophile, and just picked this little girl up by convincing her he has lost his dog and needs her to find it…and then made a joke about him taking her home to have his way with her while her parents looked around frantically for her. Even I have limits however, and though I don’t mind joking about things like AIDS babies and cancer, I think thats a bit too far.

My real guess is fatty here is her Grampa, and he’s taking her out for lunch and ice cream, followed by a day at the park, were he will push her on the swing set while she squeals “Higher Grampa higher!!!” He will drop her off at home back into the arms of her loving parents and give her a big Grampa hug before he goes back home.

It makes me pretty sad to watch actually, because it’s one of those things I never got to experience as a child, along with Christmas presents and clothes that weren’t found in garbage bags on the side of the street.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Pam Anderson’s Vagina Puppy of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson with something fuzzy between her legs, and I am not talking about the fungal infection or the obvious STD Joke that you should insert here, I am talking about her little puppy. I am kind of upset that shit’s not a cat so that this post could write itself but I guess the powers that be hate me, but I could have probably told you that before these pictures came out because if you look at my life, it pretty much seems like god took a shit on me when I was born, but enough about me.

Life worked out a lot better for Pam Anderson, she was destined to be a stripper but for some reason she had some kind of golden horseshoe in her ass as part of her stage-show and some asshole from LA who happened to watch her going at herself one end in the cooch the other in the ass was like “This bitch has that it factor” and recruited her to be a lightweight stripper, lightweight pornstar and all-american dream…

I met a stripper with a dream yesterday, and that dream was to make 450 dollars in her shift. She came up to us saying she was 6 songs away from her objective. When I asked her what the hell she did with 450 dollars a day because to me that’s an insane amount of money, she said she supported her boyfriend, bought clothes and partied….I didn’t end up taking her in the back, because I don’t have that kind of budget, but I have a dream too and that dream is to have her boyfriend’s job.

Either way, here are some Pam Anderson with a dog between her legs, covering up her old rotting body because she cares about the people and about expediting an already dying career. I don’t know if expedite is a word but i used it anyway cuz I am fucking crazy. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in Short Shorts
Pam Anderson in a Short Dress
Pam Anderson Parties in a Hooters Uniform
Pam Anderson Bikini Action
Pam Anderson’s Nipple and Ass in a Bikini

2007

24

Aug

I am – Pam Anderson's Vagina Puppy of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson with something fuzzy between her legs, and I am not talking about the fungal infection or the obvious STD Joke that you should insert here, I am talking about her little puppy. I am kind of upset that shit’s not a cat so that this post could write itself but I guess the powers that be hate me, but I could have probably told you that before these pictures came out because if you look at my life, it pretty much seems like god took a shit on me when I was born, but enough about me.

Life worked out a lot better for Pam Anderson, she was destined to be a stripper but for some reason she had some kind of golden horseshoe in her ass as part of her stage-show and some asshole from LA who happened to watch her going at herself one end in the cooch the other in the ass was like “This bitch has that it factor” and recruited her to be a lightweight stripper, lightweight pornstar and all-american dream…

I met a stripper with a dream yesterday, and that dream was to make 450 dollars in her shift. She came up to us saying she was 6 songs away from her objective. When I asked her what the hell she did with 450 dollars a day because to me that’s an insane amount of money, she said she supported her boyfriend, bought clothes and partied….I didn’t end up taking her in the back, because I don’t have that kind of budget, but I have a dream too and that dream is to have her boyfriend’s job.

Either way, here are some Pam Anderson with a dog between her legs, covering up her old rotting body because she cares about the people and about expediting an already dying career. I don’t know if expedite is a word but i used it anyway cuz I am fucking crazy. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in Short Shorts
Pam Anderson in a Short Dress
Pam Anderson Parties in a Hooters Uniform
Pam Anderson Bikini Action
Pam Anderson’s Nipple and Ass in a Bikini

2007

24

Aug

I am – Ted Nugent is a Fucking Nut of the Day

15 Comments »

I’m pretty much used to drunk fucking assholes, since I wake up to one passed out in our living room everyday, but that doesn’t mean my tolerance for them is any better.

I’ve seen Ted Nugent on the show Supergroup on MTV while at my friend’s houses. The first thing I do when I go to any of my friends houses (after raiding their fridge for anything edible of course) is turn on the TV. It’s one of those small things they tend to take for granted, like doors that lock and toilet paper.

He seemed like a washed up hack completely stuck on the fact that he had one big hit called Cat Scratch Fever and like the world of music owed his one hit wonder ass something. He seemed like an asshole, and this video proves it.

Here is he is on stage at a show, waving rifles around in the air, and calling Presidential Candidate Barack Obama a “piece of shit” and a “worthless bitch”, among other things.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:Barack Obama|Ted Nugent|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Cameron Diaz is Over the Hill of the Day

1 Comment »

Cameron Diaz

A good friend of mine has had a punk band from Korea staying with him and his brother for the last 6 months. We have affectionally named them Rock Band Asia because they’re names are all fucked up shit we can’t pronounce properly because we are all uncultured idiots. They are leaving this Sunday so we decided to take them out last night to get all fucked up and let them get a taste of Montreal strip clubs. Unfortunately there was a problem at the one we usually go to, in the form of 30 fucking cops standing outside and the bouncer telling is no one was allowed in for awhile. We had to had to hit a downtown spot, and the downtown spots suck because it’s where the tourists frequent and they are way over priced. The girls are also generally pretty busted, and the club we went to was no exception.

We pay $30 for all of us to get in, plus a $10 tip to the gorilla who seated us, then pay $48 for 6 fucking beers We sit and wait for the stage show to come on. And wait. And wait. And wait. 20 min later, and 6 beers down, we still haven’t seen any tits or ass. Finally some blonde came out. She was kinda hot but a tad over the hill, and you could tell her time was almost up in the stripping world. She was the veteran in the club, not cause she was good, but because she danced in a way that you know she had been there way too long to even act interested anymore. Gone were the lies she told club patrons that was doing this to put herself through school or to take care of her kids. This bitch had accepted her fate. She was bored, and flashing her pussy and tits to a crowd of horny guys was about as exciting to her as when Mommy makes your your oatmeal every morning. The clincher came when she went to do some sort of leg-kick-move and kicked over a bunch of the drinks on Perverts Row in front of her. We all took a look at each other and that was it.

We went back to my friends house, where I proceeded to whore it up with one of the members of the band after everyone else went to sleep because my friend told me he had never slept with a white chick before and I like to be an ambassador to my country in the form of things like that. Contrary to popular rumors, his dicks wasn’t as small as I thought it would be. True to my form, I slipped out the door when he fell asleep, and stumbled back to my house in the 6 am sunlight.

Here’s Cameron Diaz. She reminds me of the slut I saw on stage the other night. Not only because they look alike, but because they are both past their prime and one box of blonde hair dye away from being completely over the hill. You’re spent baby, deal with it!

hugs and kisses
Marie-Ever Martinez

I am – Cameron Diaz in a Bikini of the Day

I am – Young Cameron Diaz Topless and Semi Upskirt of the Day

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Slut|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Jenny McCarthy Bikini Pics of the Day

No Comments »

No one seems to care that Jenny McCarthy is dating her long lost brother, I guess they think it is magical that 2 retarded faces came together like puzzle pieces from across the country and met in hollywood to be together. Their parents would be so proud.

I remember the first few time I watched porn in the early 80s, they always had an incest theme, which is kinda weird, but I guess was a fantasy of the era. I am talking more than one movie that I saw was about a father fucking his daughter or a sister fucking her brother, and that’s the shit people were getting off to. I didn’t think it actually happened, it was just so naughty that they got off to the concept and not to their siblings…if you know what I mean…

Then I met Roy, this dude who lived in the suburbs who was about 14 and dude came into school one day bragging about how he got laid. This went on for about 3 months before we called him out on who he was banging and all he would say was this older chick. We ended up finding out that his fat sister was jealous of all her friends who were getting cock so she started banging him, she was probably 18 or 19 at the time and we were all disgusted because she was his sister but that was before realizing how hot the shit was except for her being fat…

Either way, here are pics of Jenny McCarthy in a bikini with her rockin’ tight body for a 40 year old…

Related Posts:

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach
Shitty Jenny McCarthy Upskirt of the Day
Jenny McCarthy Hangs With Carmen Electra

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Jenny McCarthy|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Alena Seredova is 6 Month Pregnant Model on the Runway of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are some pictures of model Alena Seredova modeling her underwear collection 6 months pregnant and full of milk. She is a Czech model and Czech girls are known for being pornstars so this bitch proves us right by showing us how fertile she is when dude dropped load in her 6 months ago…so off….

I remember one night when I was stuck in the rain and a car pulled up next to me and this Eastern European family offered me a lift. I thought it was fucking weird but I got in anyway because I was drunk and I wasn’t in the mood to get yet. The problem with not washing your clothes is that getting them wet brings out all the smells I tried so hard to cover-up.

Either way, the people seemed harmless,that was until I was sitting in the van and noticed they had about 5 kids in there all cramped in and the creepy glazed over eyes of the wife made me realize I was in over my head. The music started going and it was some freaky bible shit that they were all singing along to and that’s when I tried to get the fuck out of the car but they had used to child locks and I was locked in. They drove the complete opposite direction from where they said they would take me and at first I was trying to be polite about the whole thing and believed the asshole when he said he was lost. Then I started thinking that these psycho Christians wanted to either save me by kidnapping me and taking my drunken ass to their compound or they were going to eliminate me because I represented what they hated in the world or what Jesus hated in the world. I don’t know how I got out of the whole mess, I think I may have conspired with one of the girls who turned out was not even their kid but was someone they picked up too but I don’t really remember, because I don’t even know if this shit happened to me or if it was just a dream I had while wasted 10 years ago that I took for truth…But I survived…

Much like Alena Seredova’s baby will survive, not because she didn’t get an abortion but because she’s broken from the communist regime, has made money and will be able to feed it more than rationed meat and potatoes…and because she didn’t get an abortion…I don’t know what I am saying just click the fucking pictures asshole…

.

Related Posts:

Alena Seredova Getting Knocked Up on the Topless Beach
I am – Eva Herzigova Eastern European Upskirt
Petra Nemcova Makes Hearts With People in Turbans
Petra Nemcova and James Blunt Swim Together

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