Drunk Archives - Page 6 of 7 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

22

Aug

I am – Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

The pictures on this site get repetitive because the same sluts go out in their bikinis over and over again and since I have no interest in posting shit like sluts at press conferences or sluts on the red carpet unless there’s a nip slip or vagina slips in them, then I am forced to hit back the standard played out Tara Reid in a Bikini action, but at least the site I ripped them off of says their new….and we all know that seeing a bitch in a new bikini is like a whole new fucking experience because we know they can afford to buy more than one….

I remember spending my summer on some beach town working some shitty kitchen of some nasty fucking seafood restaurant and I ended up falling in love, or at least in as much love as I could really be with a pretty unattractive girl that was letting me bang her 3 times a day, but for the sake of argument she was my girlfriend and she was ugly but I told her I loved her because it was the only way to get her to do anal in the morning..or when she was on her rag.

I rode out the relationship, because it was easy, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she always wore the same fucking suit, day after day, and when I got a little fucking grossed out by her never washing her same bathing suit, that she wore 7 days a week for about a month, she claimed that swimming in the Ocean was better sterilization than a fucking washing machine…

Now we weren’t actually at the ocean, but I knew she was kinda slow, she claimed it was a learning disability, but I think it was because her parents were first cousins, because we were at some shitty polluted lake and her fucking suit smelled like dead fish, sewage and gasoline. By week 6 of this, I was starting to lose my fucking mind, it was all I could smell even when she wasn’t around, so I woke up while she was still sleeping, grabbed the bathing suit of death, looked at it before throwing it into the sink with some detergent because at this point the whole place fucking stank of this shit, and noticed that there was a massive battery stain and hole in her crotch and that the dirty bathing suit wasn’t what was causing the smell, the lake wasn’t what was causing the smell, the girl I had been banging was only I had been too drunk to realize it for the first month and a half because I never went down on her….I suddenly realized why people were constantly giving me dirty looks whenever I was with her, and Tara Reid reminds me of that dirty whore and not because she hangs with fat dudes but because she looks like if she wasn’t so rich, she’d probably have a stinky box…so here are her bikini pics…

Related Posts:

Tara Reid Bikini Gypsy
Tara Reid Old Man Ass in a Bikini
Tara Reid Bikini Pictures of the Day

2007

10

Aug

I am – Bianca Gascoigne Pantyless Upskirt of the Day

2 Comments »

I don’t know who Bianca Gascoigne is but I went into wikipedia to find out that she is the stepdaughter of some famous Footballer and outed him for abusing her mother forcing him to disown her even though his sperm didn’t make her. She was on some reality TV show in the UK and admitted she has breast implants and was scared that her drunken outburst ruined her chances at a career after the show. She is 20 and based on these pictures of her using the shampoo bottle to simulate a cock she’s suckin’ while wearing no panties and showing off some of her blond pubes obviously not too concerned with ruining any career and possibly even considering one in porn. See, I do bring quality information sometimes….

I like drunk girls because drunk girls usually do this kind of thing and finding a sober girl to simulate sex with inanimate objects or to flash her pubic hair is usually a fucking challenge. The other night I was talking to a drunk girl about having sex with vegetables, she told me that she was a pervert and ended up using a cucumber in ways I’ll never know but she did tell me that she ended up waking up in a pool of her own urine….later that night when I tried to convince her to use my beer bottle to simulate that situation for me to witness, she told me that she wasn’t drunk enough. Unfortunately, I don’t have the kind of budget needed to make these kinds of miracles happen, but the internet has a way of letting me witness it for free and that’s why I am here passing this on to you. That’s all I have to say about that.

Related Posts:

I am – Bianca Gasgoigne Lingerie Pics of the Day
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I am – Jade Jagger’s Upskirt of the Day
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I am – Big Brother Vagina Slip of the Day
GO

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora’s Birthday of the Day

1 Comment »

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora's Birthday of the Day

No Comments »

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

2007

10

Jul

I am – Jenna Jameson at some Party of the Day

16 Comments »

I don’t find Jenna Jameson hot at all. I know she’s a dirty washed up porn slut who everyone gives credit to for being such a great business woman in writing books, producing porn, selling molds of her cunt and doing whatever else she does to make money, but when I look at her I just see a whore and I have never really had anything against whores, I’d pay them for sex and shit, but I never wanted to make them my girlfriend and when I could jerk off I’d never jerk off to them, because the thought of being so dirty and loose in the hips, always made me more sick to my stomach than anything else.

I am not trying to say that I would only prey on virgins, but there was a time when I’d meet girls in bars and we’d get to talking and they’d tell me how many dude’s they had banged in their lifetime and I’d take the drink I bought them out of their hand and dump it out on the floor, because it’s easy for a bitch to get cock, all they have to do is leave the house and when a bitch gets as much cock as someone like Jenna, they have emotional issues. In her case, I get that it’s her job, but it’s not a very hard job to get in and being successful at what she does is a lot easier than getting that promotion at the shitty office you work at. If the world worked like a porn movie, the richest people in the world would be the ones who can take the most dicks in their ass, and that is why I have no respect for this talentless prostitute.

I knew this stripper who I’d run into on the street and shit, outside the club and working hours. She was always with a different guy. When I asked her where she met all these dudes, she would say at work or at clubs. I would ask why she hangs with them and she’d say because they buy me stuff, they take me on vacation and take me to nice restaurants. When I told her that she was a whore because she made it clear that she would bang them, she said something like it’s not like they pay me in cash. Point being that money hungry bitches who know that loser dudes pay for their company and use their pussies to get ahead are trash.

Either way, I figured I’d post pictures of her partying to remind you that disgusting sluts are out there and people like you like them

2007

09

Jul

I am – Pam Anderson Parties in Hooters Uniform of the Day

9 Comments »

I know that Pam Anderson was one of the lucky big breasted sluts who didn’t have to spend her career taking orders at the local hooters. She was one of those big breasted girls who was able to get in Playboy and land roles in shows like Baywatch that gave her celebrity status for having big tits, while most big breasted sluts were forced to work for tips or work the pole to pay off the tit implants but that didn’t stop her from reminding us all that she knows her role in the world.

Reality is that I am posting these pictures because seeing drunk old ladies is a bit of a fetish of mine. Whenever I get to a bar and see them in the corner alone, preying on young dudes with their tits flopping all over the place, I am compelled to watch like shit’s something you’d see on the nature channel. I know that unsuspecting dudes can’t fight off their years of training with men and when a bitch tells you to fuck her it’s pretty hard to say no, especially when you know she’s got a husband at home and a lot of experience and pent up sex drive that will destroy your cock.

I am also posting these because bitch has a pretty controlled cameltoe going down, and this is the kind of girl who you’d expect to see vagina lips hanging out of the bottom of her shorts, and having such a big vagina under control and seemingly normal sized is something worth celebrating. Maybe it’s something that takes years to master and that skill is probably part of the reason she made it to where she has today…

2007

03

Jul

I am – Sophie Cahill Intentional Flash of the Day

1 Comment »

Sophie Cahill was Miss Wales a couple of years ago. I obviously never heard of her because I am really not that worldly and I don’t really follow the whole beauty pageant thing because I find the concept annoying. It turns out that this girl who is obviously out of the pageant industry is doing what any drunk girl who was forced into beauty pageants all her life would do and that’s get breast implants and hang out with party sluts who encourage her to flash her tits to the camera for publicity. As much as I don’t like beauty pageants, I do like drunk girls crying for attention and that’s why I am posting these.

I remember knowing this girl who was the Prom Queen in her highschool, she was also the valedictorian, captain of the cheerleading team, involved in student government, student sports teams and had a scholarship to some good college. I met her after she crashed from all the pressure she put on herself to be the best at everything she did and had dropped out of school, cut off her parents, took up drinking, stripping and turning minor tricks to pay the bills. It was like seeing the girl who had everything going for her give all that opportunity the finger and take on the self-destructive path to nowhere.

Since I never heard of this Sophie Cahill chick, I can’t say she’s doing the same thing, but if she is, I’d probably pay at least 15 dollars a song to touch her fake titties.

2007

26

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Goes Out in her Bra of the Day

6 Comments »

I don’t really know why I bother, but I do, and here is a second set of Britney pics, only this time bitch is rockin’ a bra out to some club….because she’s crazy and likes getting more attention than she deserves. At first I thought it was her way back into the scene after dumping K-Fed, now I think it’s some kind of weird punk rock rebel attitude where she’s basically telling all of us to fuck ourselves. I am ok with that because I like girls who show off their tits, even when their tits are ratty old dried up milk sacks that don’t look like they did when she was at her prime.

Rockin’ a bra in public deserves some respect as most girls I know need a lot of roofies to get naked, not that I encourage that kind of behavior, you just do what you gotta do in life, that’s all I am saying….not that I am really a date rapist, my limp dick is pretty non-threatening but I am sure some of you are, because getting pussy was never easy and 10 dollars and an understanding cab driver is all you really need to get ‘er done.

In reality it’s not even really date rape if you wear a condom. Condom sex is like shaking hands with a rubber glove on. There’s a shield between you and your friend so it technically isn’t even sex. That’s what I used to tell my wife when I used to cheat on her…I’d be like baby, I used a condom and condoms mean I didn’t even bang her, the condom did but reality is I never wore a condom and ended up giving her some HPV and she wasn’t impressed.

I guess lucky for her, Karma is a bitch and now my junk doesn’t work, but at least I have the memories and pictures of Britney Spears to remind me what I am missing, which isn’t really all that much. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Drunk|Tits|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – Kim Kardashian Parties at Marquee of the Day

2 Comments »

If you were sitting at home last night wondering where Kim Kardashian was out partying last night, you have serious fucking issues. Unfortunately, I know where she was partying last night because I guess I have serious fucking issues. It would seem like I actually care about this Armenian fashion accessory who is trying to make it on her own by breaking free from her criminal mentor while she is in Jail to develop her own career as a useless slut, but at least she’s doing it with tits. But I don’t. Having the best site on the internet that no one reads means I get shit emailed to me.

I am not sure who she’s out with, but it looks like her sister, or maybe bitch is like Sadam and has a group of 10 look-a-likes so that she can be in 11 places at the same time, and they are just meeting up not to exchange notes on where the stand in Kardashian’s gotta go. I am bad when it comes to ethnic people, I am not talking black or white or hispanic, I am talking middle eastern and asian, motherfuckers all look the fucking same.

We have all seen Kardashian get fucked, now we can see her text message friends which is eventually going to become the new porno because everytime I go out that seems to be what everyone in the place is doing. It’s like there was a time when girls would dance, and get drunk and talk to you, but now there are just groups of people at tables text messaging people who aren’t there making the party feel like a gamers convention at the 24 hour internet cafe. I predict that Girls Gone Wild 2010 is going to be a whole lot of naughty text messaging parties and instead of watching girls flash their tits to the camera, they’ll flash their text messages so that we can read all the sexy drunk talk that’s going down.

I am not even going to talk about her fat arms, because I am fat, and who really fucking cares if she has fat arms other than her. I know that her thickness wouldn’t stop you from slammin her, and by slammin I mean jerkin off to her sex tape because you like nature channel shit with haggard tranny pornstar lookin’ chicks in them.

Pictures Via thecobrasnake

2007

19

Jun

I am – Guy Getting Arrested of the Day

56 Comments »

I feel uninspired. I haven’t been doing much leaving the house and I haven’t been seeing anything all that funny outside the house and I’ve told you all the stories I can remember and celebrities bore the fuck out of me. So I decided to start the day with a video of some dude getting arrested that I took this weekend while walking wasted down the street. I don’t know what happened, I was just in the right place at the right time and when I came home I checked out the video and saw a huge set of tits in it, making it even more amazing.

If you don’t speak french, the cop says “let go of him” and the chick crying is crying about me taking pictures because I was laughing and drunk and the whole incident was so fucking weird because I was just standing there one second and the cops rushed the dude the next. I am just happy it wasn’t me.

Point of the post is that I bring you the hard hitting news like I was Barbara Walters, only she’s got hotter tits than me. Speaking of tits, I found the boob appreciation group on facebook where 900 pictures of people’s boobs have been uploaded. Check it out if facebook is your thing, you may find an internet girlfriend or someone you went to grade school with who’s turned into a total whore since the second grade and she’s willing to show you what 20 years of life has done to her….Get on it.

Posted in:Arrested|Drunk|stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

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