I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Drunk Category

2007

08

Jun

I am – Steve Aoki Does Montreal of the Day

So I wrote a bit about my night at the shitty high end club with people who think they are high end because they have rich parents or good jobs and don’t mind spending 1000 dollars a night on bottles of Grey Goose for their friends and women who like to hang out with guys who spend 1000 dollars a night on booze because they to drink for free in what they think is a classy place because it costs 10 dollars a drink. What they don’t realize is that the staff and patrons of the bar and the music they go crazy for is all shit and none of them have a fucking clue.

The big disappointment of the night was when a girl in a really short skirt was dancing on stage with her ass hanging out and I thought I was recording it but turned out I wasn’t. I had 3 minutes of bitch’s ass cheeks bouncing up and down…but drinking made me forget to record…..Motherfucker.

Bonus – This Girl Made Me Delete a Picture of Her and I Hate When People Tell Me What To Do, So I Decided to Snap Some Pics of Her to Post on the Site as Punishment for Her Being So Rude to Me….I just made you famous bitch….

Posted in:Chachi|Drunk|Party|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Steve Aoki|Tits|Unsorted

2007

30

May

I am – Ana Beatriz Barros Celebrating Her Birthday with Alessandra Ambrosio of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Victoria’s Secret Models, Ana Beatriz Barron and Alessandra Ambrosio at that stupid restaurant every fucking celebrity goes to called Mr Chow. They are wearing more clothes than you’re used to and I guess that goes against what you are used to on this site. I like to keep you on your toes. I also like to look at these people who little girls aspire to be in their natural state, without the filters and photoshop touch ups and lighting and professional photographers because these paparazzi are just scummy immigrants with a camera .

I am not going to say these bitches are busted because it’s pretty obvious that they aren’t, but I will say that I would never make a good model scout. They don’t look any better than the girls I see out when I go out, I probably wouldn’t even notice them in a club, but the second these whores take off their clothes and rock a catalog every 14 year old dude and married man with no internet or porn in the house can jerk off to you know they got it in them….what they will never have in them though is you, because no one likes you, even the 400 pound Wal Mart cashier wants nothing to do with you.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Ana Beatriz Barros|Drunk|Legs|Partying|Unsorted

2007

27

May

I am – Lohan Arrested For Drinking and Driving And Possession of Cocaine of the Day

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So the day has come that Lohan finally got busted for her underage partying antics. I was really convinced that she was just doing this shit to fuck with the media, but in being an immature, irresponsible and insane young girl with too much time on her hands and too much money in her pocket, the reckless cry for help ended in a drunk car accident that she left the scene of, but forgot to take her cocaine with her only to get arrested at the hospital and now she will be facing jail time, even though I am pretty sure it won’t actually come to that because she is famous. Part of me thinks this was staged because her and Paris are on a constant trying to one-up the other….

See if I had an accident while drunk I’d do a few things…the first would be ditching my drugs in the closest sewer. The second would be to take as many allergy pills or prescribed pills as I could and I’d hide out with lots of water and wait until the alcohol wore off before making my way to the hospital where I know I’d get caught.

See Lohan had the chance to go hide out for a few hours before going to the hospital where she was caught, she had time to get rid of her drugs and she had time to take some prescription pills that would allow for her to have a case against being under the influence. I know 10 people who have refused to blow the breathalizer and blamed allergy meds for the accident and shit held up in court. She didn’t do any of that, so that means she staged all this because it gets her more media coverage than Paris….

It is probably going to have detrimental affects on her budding acting career, it’s safe to say she won’t be one of those actors with longevity. She’s on some self-destructive path that makes me think this is what she wants. Maybe she’s tired of all the attention and this is the only way to get out of the job. I remember when I worked at the factory, I would break as many rules as possible to get fired, because I couldn’t bring myself to quitting because I needed the money and I knew quitting was bad for making money, but getting fired meant it wasn’t my fault.

Lohan has enough money to retire and it’s too bad that she is too fucked up and self-absorbed to bother doing something good for society instead of all this shit. I guess no one really cares about a bitch who donates her time and money to sick kid charities or AIDS Charities, people are way more into scandals…..

Either way, I am glad that she didn’t run anyone over, I am glad she didn’t James Dean herself and I am glad she still hasn’t had an fatal overdose because I still want to see video of her giving a blowjob and taking it up the ass.

These pictures are of her leaving whatever bar she was partying at the night of the incident. By the look of it, she looks fucking wrecked…I’ve been driven by people who were probably more fucked than this girl and I have driven while more fucked than this girl and I never got caught. That doesn’t make it ok, so Don’t Drink and Drive.

I am – Not the News So Follow These Links for the Story….

x17 Insider Story of the Event and Police Statement and the Lesbian Cock is Involved
GO

x17 Incident Overview with Pictures
GO

x17 Incident Overview with Timeline and Video
GO

Splashnews Video of the Event
GO

TMZ Lohan Busted With Coke
GO

TMZ Lohan Arrested with a DUI
GO

Posted in:Arrested|Cocaine|Drunk|DUI|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Lohan Drunk at Some Party With Aoki of the Day

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I was sent this pictures from someone claiming they were of Lohan wasted Sunday night at LAX where she was drinking right out of the bottle with her lesbian cock Samantha Ronson . I am not 100 percent if these pictures were taken on Sunday night, because I can’t tell the fucking difference between all these Lohan partying pics it’s like it’s her fulltime job and she pretty much looks the same in all of them, which is not naked enough for me.

I used to go out drinking in bars every day of the week, you get caught up in it because you get drunk and drunk is fun and when you wake up the next day destroyed the only cure is to start drinking again. It comes to a point where you only feel normal when there is booze in your system and that can’t be a healthy thing.

I remember not being able to go to the post office or to a coffee shop without having had a drink because it takes the edge off, it took me at least 2 years of trying to pull of menial chores in public sober and I am not getting preachy here, I am just saying that this shit will catch up with Lohan in the next few years and bitch is going to be fucking damaged. She already looks like she’s in her mid 20s which may be a good thing when you get carded at clubs since she is underage, but when she is in her mid 20s she’s going to look 40…and her liver and vagina will be shot….

I’m just saying, I am not the healthiest fuck but if I could change anything about my life it would be that I took up jogging instead of hard drinking, even though it’d be a lot less fun for you assholes….but I’d be so jacked on endorphines, I wouldn’t give a fuck what you people think….

Posted in:Drunk|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Britney Parties in a Bikini of the Day

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Britney performed in Florida and I read somewhere that her CD she was lip syncing to skipped and she turned her back to the crowd and re-cooped. It’s not all that much of a surprise, her entire career has been built on lip syncing and people aren’t watching her perform to listen to her amazing songs, they are listening because she was a young tight thing who moved better than most strippers because she had a choreographer and budget. It was like a big scale stage show without the nipples/vagina shots/lap dances/ signed posters/ etc.

Here are some pics of Britney wearing a bikini at a club, partying after her show in Florida.

I could probably write more and actually try to change your life, but I am uninspired….

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Drunk|Party|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

May

I am – Jannel Syzyska Story Set Straight of the Day

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So I posted about some Girls Gone Wild bitch who claimed she was a virgin and that Joe Francis raped her a long time ago. The post can be found HERE , ignore all the spam in my comments…it happens.

Anyway, I was checking my email and I got some inside scoop on the slut that I felt like I needed to post. I can only assume it’s her friend trying to get more buzz going about her in hopes of landing a porn video gig or a penthouse magazine spread, but I’ll still post it because I never get any scoop and when I do, it makes me feel like a real media company….and sometimes pretending you’re not a waste of internet space is a good thing….

So, I just recently came across an article in the L.A. times about Jannel Syzyska, and about how Joe Francis “raped her”.

I used to be pretty good friends with Jannel, (in the early pre-whore days – seventh grade to be exact.) but when an unfortunate incident involving her and her friend Kaitlyn stealing my underwear occurred, we lost touch, so to say.

Then last year, one of my friends became close friends with Jannel, and I started showing up to parties that she happened to be at and so on..

So Jannel and I got kind of close again, and she revealed to me everything about her, one tidbit being that she had lost her virginity in April to some guy she doesn’t even remember. And she revealed that she did not want to have sex with anybody for a long time because of the fact that she had had sex with quite a few guys since then…

So when I finally did come across this yesterday, I was shocked. I’ve lost touch with her since the beginning of last June.. but in November of last year I had seen her a few times through a mutual friend.. and she had told me that she “went on girls gone wild and masturbated for the camera.” However, she said that she had HAD SEX with Joe Francis, not that he “raped her.”

I know I’m quite late on a story like this.. but I figured I would set the record straight (as if it hadn’t been set straight enough) that she did have sex with him, he did not rape her, and she was not a virgin.

I had no idea that she was all over the internet with her “rape story” or I would have definitely set that straight sooner.

Yes, Joe Francis isn’t the epitomy of class and charm.. but I’m sure he has the opportunity to have sex with much better looking girls without forcing them. So why he would even force sex onto someone like Jannel is baffling.

I don’t know why I felt compelled to write you this e-mail when it was so long ago, and you probably won’t read or respond really, but that enrages me that she would seek fame that much to make up stories.

Thanks for your time and sorry to rant, but I just had to.

All that to say…who really gives a fuck…Cuddles.

Posted in:Drunk|Girls Gone Wild|Jannel Syzyska|Party|Rape|Sex|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

03

May

I am -David Hasselhoff Exclusive Drunk Video

I know Entertainment Tonight is on in about 30 mins where I live because I only have one channel and it is usually on in the background while my fat wife eats her chips, but this video is of David Hasselhoff wasted being filmed by his daughter and it is pretty fucking funny. I just spent the day at the casino because all my friends got their welfare checks and thought they would win big so that they wouldn’t have to be on welfare anymore. I guss their investment and money making ways is the reason they are on welfare to begin with, but I never turn down a good time. I only had 15 dollars and I lost it in about 5 minutes but it was still nice to see where all of society’s retired trash end up on a thursday afternoon. It was like a fucking old folks home field trip and I tried to seduce a couple of them into giving me some money to play with in exchange for oral sex, but they weren’t having it. In the end I got kicked out for stealing an old man who was asleep at his slot machine’s bucket of quarters, but I didn’t get arrested.

Either way, watch Hasslehoff in drunken action with his daughter, at least he isn’t touching her inappropriately like you would be. Sicko.

Posted in:David Hasselhoff|Drunk|Unsorted|Video