Implants Archives - Page 4 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

01

Oct

I am – Pamela Anderson’s Creepy Cleavage of the Day

I went to a Breast Cancer event, not because I believe in Charity even though I’d like to single handedly save every breast in the world with my mouth, but Charity events are horse shit. They are a group of people who either didn’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves before the disease directly affected them or someone they love, or a group of self righteous assholes pretending to make a difference, while pulling a salary off the charity organization and only donating a fraction of the money they make to the cause because the rest of the money’s going into the elaborate events that seduce rich people to show up to because they want to feel less guilty about being rich cocksuckers who fuck people over everyday to feel like they are doing their part so that they can sleep soundly at night…..

So the real reason I went to breast cancer charity event was because I like watching the self exam demo. Shit’s like porno to me.

Speaking of porno here’s some pictures of Pam Anderson’s breasts busting out of her shirt, because those fuckers are huge and by huge I mean disgusting. They are so filled with rubber that could have been better used to save a nation from AIDS and unwanted pregnancy but at least they won’t ever get breast cancer, they are the titty equivalent of when a retired couple put aluminum siding on their house so they’ll never have to paint y again….if you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because I don’t even know what I am talking about. Just look at her tits pervert.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson Licks Some Dude With Her Vagina Exposed
Pam Anderson’s Tits Hang With Rick Solomon
Pam Anderson’s Black Bikini Pictures
Pam Anderson’s White Bikini Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Implants|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Unsorted

2007

01

Oct

I am – Pamela Anderson's Creepy Cleavage of the Day

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I went to a Breast Cancer event, not because I believe in Charity even though I’d like to single handedly save every breast in the world with my mouth, but Charity events are horse shit. They are a group of people who either didn’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves before the disease directly affected them or someone they love, or a group of self righteous assholes pretending to make a difference, while pulling a salary off the charity organization and only donating a fraction of the money they make to the cause because the rest of the money’s going into the elaborate events that seduce rich people to show up to because they want to feel less guilty about being rich cocksuckers who fuck people over everyday to feel like they are doing their part so that they can sleep soundly at night…..

So the real reason I went to breast cancer charity event was because I like watching the self exam demo. Shit’s like porno to me.

Speaking of porno here’s some pictures of Pam Anderson’s breasts busting out of her shirt, because those fuckers are huge and by huge I mean disgusting. They are so filled with rubber that could have been better used to save a nation from AIDS and unwanted pregnancy but at least they won’t ever get breast cancer, they are the titty equivalent of when a retired couple put aluminum siding on their house so they’ll never have to paint y again….if you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because I don’t even know what I am talking about. Just look at her tits pervert.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson Licks Some Dude With Her Vagina Exposed
Pam Anderson’s Tits Hang With Rick Solomon
Pam Anderson’s Black Bikini Pictures
Pam Anderson’s White Bikini Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Implants|Pamela Anderson|Tits|Unsorted

2007

28

Sep

I am – Heidi Montag in a BIkini of the Day

5 Comments »

I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out if these bikini pics are old or not because I feel like they are, but decided fuck it, I am going to post them anyway, because bikinis brighten up our day and because I have no editorial standards. Speaking of bright days, I had a bowl of cereal today, and the milk was sour. That’s pretty much the kind of days I always have. I ate the shit anyway because I don’t have money to buy milk and it was the last of the cereal. It tasted like shit and probably will rape my insides, but that’s just what hard living is all about.

I can only assume that’s what Heidi Montag’s baby’s going to feel like as long as he’s breast feeding, because her tits look like they are going to pop and the silicone will probably make her milk sour and her baby retarded, not that he wouldn’t be retarded in the first place, but I am just saying….

I wonder how many boys teased her growing up about being flat chested. I wonder if they used to call her flat things, like Heidi Mont-Flat, because kids are mean like that and whatever they did they gave her a complex. Maybe one of her ex boyfriends would make her fuck with her shirt on and told her that when she takes it off it reminds him of fucking a dude and he can’t stomach that shit, or maybe he just would always talk about how hot her friends tits were.

The new tits she would rather die than not have are like a new lease on life. She’s like a whole new girl, and in these pictures she looks like a lame party slut, one who will let her friends and strangers see how awesome the new tits are, even if fake tits are never awesome, but she’ll never realize it because getting fake tits in the first place means you think fake tits are hotter than your little awkward uneven tits everyone used to laugh at…..

The point of this post is that new tits and hot body don’t take away from the fact that she needs a new face, it may take a little focus off her ugly, but she’s still ugly. I can’t get this sour milk taste out of my mouth so that’s where this post ends. Goodbyes are never easy….maybe we should just leave it at See You Later….it’s easier that way….

Related Posts:

Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Even Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Lauren Conrad Bikini Pictures

2007

18

Sep

I am – Pamela Anderson in a Bikini in Malibu of the Day

4 Comments »

I guess Pam Anderson doesn’t realize that her prime ended when Baywatch was still on the air and ever since then it’s been this downward spiral of fake tit removal, fake tit replacement and a haggard old catcher’s mitt of a face that reminds me of the lady who works at the Salvation Army where I buy all my used panties for my used panty collection. I am weird like that.

Pam Anderson can’t seem to get herself out of a fucking bikini. Every week there are new pictures of her half naked and although half naked is good, I find this shit desperation like a Britney Spears comeback performance. At first I just thought she went insane and got a bikini grafted onto her because it is such a part of who she is, but then I realized that that was a stupid thought and that she is just like the local stripper, who was the star performer ten years ago, you know the one who everyone wanted the lap dance from and you’d never get a chance to touch her tits because she was always in the back working, who now still works the same club, holding onto a dream, remembering the good years while chain smoking at the bar hoping that someone will either remember her and take her for a dance the sake of a fantasy they never lived out, or that all the other girls get taken in the back and she’s the last man standing. She knows she’d be better off working as a receptionist or at the cosmetics counter of the Pharmacy but stripping is all she knows.

Here are some Pam Anderson bikini ass pics for you to live out the fantasy from the past when she was actual relevant, hot and wanted by all. Before she had two washed up losers fighting over her. Around the time of the sex tape, but all things aside, she has an amazing ass and I’d still do her, her big tits and her hepatitis ridden vagina.

Related Posts:

Some Pam Anderson in a Black Bikini Pictures
Pam Anderson’s Vagina Puppy Pictures
Pam Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit Pictures
Pam Anderson Nipple and Ass in a Bikini

2007

14

Sep

I am – Christina Aguilera Pregnancy Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of pregnant Christina Augilera’s leaving some restaurant with her husband that gives all of you hope that if you ever make a lot of money, you can knock up a bitch like Christina too, but until then, you’ll have to jerk of to her attempt at ready to drop porn that is pretty fucking weak cuz all we can see is her huge implant pregnancy fat milk filled tits. That’s good enough for me, what isn’t good enough for me is that I lost a bet I made 10 years ago that I would bang her in my lifetime, that fact that dude dropped load in her that stuck means she’ll probably stick it out with him for a while probably a good move on his part, because being the baby daddy of X-Tina’s baby is sure to go over well with all the young college chicks he’s going to cheat on her with because now he thinks he’s hot shit…I am just hoping it’s enough time for me to get my shit together because I hate losing bets and because I already know she’s got no standards….but I think it’s easier to just accept that I didn’t win. I am lazy like that.

I used to know a guy who was obsessed with trying to get a girl pregnant. He never really had sex all that often and when he did it was usually paid for. He would always sabotage his condoms hoping one would get through but the problem with hookers is that you can’t always find them for the follow-up. He became so obsessed with it that he’d go to the laundry room in his building and jerk of on girls panties, thinking that one unsuspecting girl would put on the underwear before it dried. What he didn’t realize was that there was a hidden camera in the laundry room of his building and the one girl he constantly did it too caught on the first time and made a complaint. He got arrested and he probably should have quit his pregnancy quest while he was ahead…but dude just had to push the limits.

Either way, here are some Aguilera crazy cleavage pictures.

If I was a real blog this post would have been two lines and it woulda gone like this: Hey Christina, maybe you should lay off the cheesecake it’s starting to look like you’re pregnant. Oh wait it’s cuz you are. Nice tits.

Related Posts:

Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage in China Pictures
Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus Video
Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face Pictures

2007

28

Aug

I am – Tera Patrick Showing Off her Tits of the Day

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Since my stepdaughter hasn’t shown up in the last 4 days and has been writing posts from god knows where, I am forced to put up these posts from her gay friend Julien. Now I generally try to stay as far away from fags as I can, not because I am scared they are going to try to fuck me, even the horniest fag won’t hit on me, I just don’t have what it takes and I remember once feeling depressed about that, thinking shit, I must be pretty fucking ugly for a fag not to try to get with me, when fags pretty much fuck anything that walk, but then realized that it’s a good thing..and the reason I stay away from fags is not because of the annoying twang in their voice or annoying light on their feet strut, it is because AIDS is the gay disease and I’ll never forgive them for that….

Since all the blogs with gay writers are making huge money, I am jumping on the bandwagon and hoping the queers out there eventually flock to this site and bring your fag hags with you because that’s when I’ll know that I’ve made it.

Here’s what Julien had to say:

The thing I like about trannies and their boobs is that they know their boobâ€™s arenâ€™t real, they have no problem or hang ups about showing them off. A few years ago I was really good friends with this trannie and she would always wear REALLY low cut shirts and she never wore a bra. After she had a few drinks in her she would go up to guys and start yanking down her shirt and play with her boobs. Because for her, he boobs were nothing more than augmented skin with some silicon stuffed inside. Well this one time she and I were walking down the street and she flashes some guy walking by and this woman runs up to her and starts yelling at her, saying things like â€œYou should have some self-respectâ€? and â€œYou donâ€™t need to show your breasts to get attentionâ€?. I thought that was pretty funny because my tranny friend was not passable at all. I mean infants and dogs could tell that she used to be a man. But here was this woman yelling at her about how women need to have respect about their breasts.

Now I donâ€™t really know how this story links to these pics of Tera Patrick. I donâ€™t know who Tera Patrick is. But Iâ€™m assuming she some sort of tranny because only a tranny would be showing off her boobs like that.

P.S. I was trying to think of something to write about her dumbass sparkly Hello Kitty necklace, but I couldnâ€™t come up with anything good. So letâ€™s pretend that I wrote something really bitchy. Ok?

Smooch!
Julien

Related Posts:

Tera Patrick’s Huge Rack
Tera Patrick’s Halloween Costume Ass
Chyna is a Man and these are her Panties

2007

19

Jul

I am – Michelle Marsh and Her Big Jugs of the Day

1 Comment »

Michelle Marsh

Michelle Marsh is the type of girl that most of you virgins out there would like to be your first. She pretty much fits the stereotype of standard beauty for young guys everywhere to beat off to under the covers. I mean really, you canâ€™t go wrong with blonde hair, nice body and big tits. The only problem is that if, by some crazy hell-freezes-over-pigs-fly-in-the-air chance you did actually get her to be you first, you would probably bust in your pants as soon as you touched her tit, like when Forest first grabbed Jennyâ€™s goods in Forest Gump.

Teenaged guys are the worst to have sex with, which is why I pretty much never fuck guys my own age. First of all they have no fucking concept of foreplay and just want to stick their dick in you as soon as their pants come off (maybe because they know they are going to bust a nut in like 23 seconds?) If you try to get on top, they donâ€™t really know what to do and get confused (Yes, Iâ€™m a top). They hump you like a little jack rabbit, but have no real rhythm or timing in regards to the whole thing, finish at lightning speed and then pass the fuck out before you come back from the bathroom.

So yeah, to all you teenaged boys out there, Iâ€™ll stick to older men because I have severe unresolved Daddy issues that are going to affect my dating habits for the rest of the life, and you stick to internet pictures of Michelle Marsh and humping your pillow while Mommy isnâ€™t looking. Deal?

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Related Posts

I am â€“ Michelle Marsh Has Huge Tits of the Day
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I am â€“ Michelle Marsh in a Bikini for Miss Britain of the Day
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I am â€“ Michelle Marsh is the Singing Slag of the Day
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Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Michelle Marsh|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Tera Patrick’s huge rack of the day

1 Comment »

Tera Patrick at Crobar

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. Iâ€™m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldnâ€™t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, Iâ€™m gonna say sheâ€™s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasnâ€™t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

Related Posts I am – Tera Patrick Halloween of the Day
GO I am – Born Again Porn Stars Myspace Profile of the Day
GO I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again
GO

2007

09

Jul

I am – Tera Patrick's huge rack of the day

1 Comment »

Tera Patrick at Crobar

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. I’m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldn’t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, I’m gonna say she’s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasn’t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

Related Posts I am – Tera Patrick Halloween of the Day
GO I am – Born Again Porn Stars Myspace Profile of the Day
GO I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again
GO

2007

05

Jul

I am – Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach of the Day

7 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Hollywood “POWER” Couple, Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy on the beach holding hands and they freak me the fuck out. These two look like they are brother and sister and I don’t normally have any skills at spotting similarities in people. I am also not very good at remembering names, secret handshakes or anything I do after about 1 drink because I am convinced my liver gave out on me a few years ago and shit goes straight to my head like I was an anorexic 15 year old girl at my first club.

Either way, incest freaks me out so much that I even had a dream, some may call it a fantasy about it the other day. In the dream, I walked in on a brother and sister having sex. I was into watching them fuck at first because I am a voyeur but when I realized that they were two people I knew who were related I freaked the fuck out. When I confronted them they said that their parents were brother and sister and that their grandparents were brother and sister and they were just doing what they knew. It was a weird fucking dream that I have no idea where it came from but it made me stop asking people I know if they would bang their sister. I know talking about dreams is as gay as it gets but when incest is involved I just can’t keep it to myself.

When I was younger I met this dude who used to brag to us about how he took his sister’s cherry. He was kind of an idiot farmer and thought we’d think he was cool but shit was just too twisted for me to grasp. He would tell us that he would sneak into her room at night and have his way with her and she was totally into it. He would brag about how accessible it was and how we were all a bunch of virgin idiots who didn’t know that the prize was so close to home. I never knew what happened to that dude, because he ended up getting caught and sent away so don’t let Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy trick you into thinking this shit’s ok just because they are famous, how big her tits are or no matter how much you think that you’re the hottest thing out there and the only thing good enough for you is a bitch who looks like you….and remember no matter how long your hair is and no matter how many punk rock t-shirts you wear, you’re never hardcore when wearing schpants….

Archive for the Implants Category