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Archive for the Jennifer Aniston Category

2008

11

Dec

Jennifer Aniston Nude in GQ of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston is naked in GQ because getting naked is what you do when you want to get noticed, at least it’s what I do when I want to get noticed by teenage girls on the subway.

She is living out the dream many guys have for their ex-girlfriends after their hearts are broken by them, you know the whole, you’ll see one day I’ll be famous or rich and you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass for leaving me, only she was on the one who was cheated on and dumped and just wanted to stay together and have a family with him, so maybe he’s success since the divorce is not the same thing at all.

I guess he was always just out of her league as far as fame, success, media attention and public interest goes. I always thought it was a weird union in the first place, you know a movie star getting involved with a sitcom star, it just didn’t make sense to me. I just thought was a cover-up, since he is an actor, for an all night, all male orgy at Tom Cruise’s house that he was sure he was caught taking part in, and getting with the first desperate, barely hot, but decent for a Greek girl and that’s just because I know she takes it up the ass, because that ass she takes it up looks maternal and wholesome, and that ass is represented by the same PR guy who is trying to make stars out of all his clients to pay for his home in Malibu, despite that ass being barren and a garbage can for random men the last 4 years of recovery after the lottery she thought she won and the princess fairytale she almost secured by some serious manipulation dissolved in Angelina Jolie’s pussy and turned into 4 babies that don’t belong to Aniston….

In a lot of ways, it must be a lot like having a knife shoved in her uterus everytime see sees Pitt and Jolie in the media which luckily is every 2 minutes, because we know Aniston will lose this Clockwork Orange sanity test that is entertainment news and end up doin’ something fuckin’ crazy and fuckin’ crazy is always fuckin’ fun for us. Or maybe she’ll just get the fuck over it, like someone who isn’t so self involved and feeling sorry for her poor rich self…and will move the fuck on with her pathetic life….but I guess the only reason people care about her or are talking about her is because she hasn’t so it’s all part of her strategy to stay relevent and here she is naked in GQ.

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|Nude

2008

15

Oct

Jennifer Aniston’s Desperate Nipple Cries For a Baby To Suck It of the Day

6 Comments »

In case you were wondering, Jennifer Aniston’s nipple is still acting up and not accepting the fact that it will never have a baby of it’s own to feed an is doing everything it can to escape her shirt and find one of her own. I guess the real fear people have about all this is that her expired maternal clock tit is going to take over her rational thought and leave her running around the streets, malls and coffee shop grabbing other people’s babies and shoving her dried up, dusty tit in their mouth, only to upset a lot of people and end up institutionalized. I guess what it all comes down to is that it’s times like these that Jennifer Aniston really regrets having those abortions when she was younger, because she didn’t want motherhood to get in the way of her career….if only you could turn back time Aniston….you know if only you knew what you know now, when you were younger, you know hindsight is 20/20….I don’t know what I’m doing. I need a fucking nap.

Posted in:Desperate|Jennifer Aniston|Nipple

2008

30

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Wears a Bikini on Vacation of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston is still alone on vacation. It’s kind of a common theme in her life since she can’t keep a boyfriend, and the truth is who really cares what Jennifer Aniston does, as long as she’s doing it in a bikini, because bikinis, when in the tundra that is Canada are a rare and beautiful thing, like a unicorn.

I thought these pictures were funny because of the amount of food this bitch has in front of her. It’s kind of a lot for one person. I figured that maybe she was emotionally eating her way through the pain and as she licks one plate clean, yells at Miguel to bring her more gucamole. Or maybe she’s just showing off that her life of excess is better than mine, as I sit here finishing off a box of $1.99 Cheerios. Or maybe it’s her passive aggressive way of telling Angelina Jolie and her starving AIDS babies to fuck themselves for stealing the one true love she thought she had locked down.

Either way, who really gives a fuck, this bitch is old and boring and that’s probably the real root to her lonely existance and here she is in that bikini….

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

29

Sep

Jennifer Aniston is So Lonely on Vacation in Her Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Ansiton is still on vacation, or back on vacation in Cabo because there’s really not much going on for her back home and living is tired of the only message she gets on her answering machine, after calling every guy in her black book, being her leaving a reminder that she’s out of milk. She’s tired of eating dinner alone every night in front of the TV watching re-runs of friends, realizing the irony of her life, because she has no friends. She is tired of hugging a pillow, pretending it’s a real person, or going to the movies and buying two tickets only to realize that there’s no one to bring in with her.

So she does what any lonely person does and that is hire the hotel staff to be her boyfriend and to stand guard and to protect her. I think this is a form of prostitution, but when a lonely middle-aged woman does it they don’t get criticized, but when I get caught with my pants around my ankles in a back alley in broad daylight, I’m considered a pervert. Double standards man…double fucking standards.

Due to the Paparazzi Being Total Fucking Cocksuckers Espeically the Company Who Owns The Aniston Bikini Pictures, I’m Going to Link to them Instead of Post Them, It’s Just Smarter than Getting a 10,000 dollar invoice I can’t pay because unlike Perez, No advertising executives support this site because they are scared of nipples, despite having hired 3 hookers to lick their assholes with their expense accounts on last month’s business trip.

If You Want to See Aniston in Some Boring Bikini Pics
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston

2008

24

Sep

Jennifer Aniston in Some Loney Vacation Bikini Pictures of the Day

3 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston went on a lonely vacation recently, probably in attempts to get away from the hard truth that her life has a pretty depressing future alone and childless, and the good news is that she did it in a bikini, because despite being nothing amazing to look at, I’d rather be lookin’ at it in a bikini than clothed.

I have to say that she does look better than the Greek girls I know or the Greek girls who I have fucked, because I have fucked a Greek girl before and the whole experience was interesting enough to remember, because unlike non-Greek girls, I totally went ahead and shoved my dick in her ass and she didn’t even squirm or make a noise. Sure, I have a pretty small penis, but shit was like naturally lubricated and ready to go, like it was a second vagina and part of her Greek genetic code, leading me to believe that the stereotype comes from some truth….

So some advice to Aniston is that if you want to trick a dude into knocking you up, you gotta take him out of your ass, even if the anal is the only reason he’s in you in the first place. Everyone knows that’s the Christian girl’s answer to birth control and you can’t get pregnant like that….

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Lonely

2008

18

Sep

Jennifer Aniston’s Big Fat Greek Wedding Ass of the Day

8 Comments »

I know there’s nothing more that Jennifer Aniston wants in her life than a Big Fat Greek Wedding than maybe a Big Fat Greek baby, but since that time has come and gone for her, and her life is destined to be spent alone, where the closest thing she will ever have to kids of her own are when her breeding friends ask her to be the Godmother, I have trouble understanding why because she’s not disgusting looking. I am sure there are Greek men out there from shipping families, with enough money for this greedy bitch with unrealistic standards to accept into her vagina, that would be happy with the fact that unlike their mother’s, her ass isn’t 300 pounds, but maybe that genetic guarantee that she will turn into their mother once a baby pops out that is keeping them away, or maybe it has to do with her desperation to get knocked up and her constantly going after the wrong guy, but I predict in a few months she’ll either be at the sperm donor clinic or raping homeless men at night to get that fetus goin’, or even worse, dating someone who isn’t a famous heart throb. She’s gotta realize that whole Brad Pitt thing was a bad judgment call on his part, and landing the best looking guy in Hollywood according to the media, doesn’t mean she is the best looking chick in Hollywood or deserves anything anyone finds attractive since she’s boring and irrelevant, either way, who really cares, I am only posting these pictures because they were saved on my computer and figured why the fuck not.

Posted in:Ass|Jennifer Aniston

2008

16

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Leaving the Gym of the Day

40 Comments »

Jennifer Aniston is leaving the gym because staying in shape is important, especially when your aging body can’t land a husband, baby daddy or boyfriend and even more necessary when you’re Greek and predisposed to having a hug fucking dumpy ass.

Her desperation reminds me of my friend who was equally desperate to find love. He got to the point of desperation where he had exhausted masturbation but couldn’t manage to get a girl to sleep with him, and refused to get a whore because he said that would make him feel like a loser. I would remind him that he is a loser and he’d just blow me off. As time went on, he got more paranoid that everyone around him knew he couldn’t get laid and I realized that it had gone too far one day when buying beer with him at the grocery store and dude picked up a box of tampons. I asked him why the fuck he was picking up tampons and he just ignore me. We got to the cash and when the clerk went to scan the tampons, my friend chimed in and said something along the lines of “I hate buying these for my girlfriend, it’s so embarrassing”, I looked at him like he had lost his fucking mind and he continued, “but I guess it’s not as bad as me not getting laid for the next week, if you know what I mean”….and I figured I had to stop the insanity so I ratted him out to the clerk for not having a girlfriend and that he’s just being crazy at which point he freaked out on me and ran out of the store and I haven’t heard from him since.

Either way, here’s Aniston…

Posted in:Gym|Jennifer Aniston|Spandex

2008

11

Sep

Jennifer Aniston is Seriously Desperate for Male Attention of the Day

6 Comments »

These pictures of Jennifer Aniston flashing her underwear reminds me of an Animal Planet special I saw about the mating rituals of the Baboon. The femal baboons would circle around the King Baboon, bend over and show him their swollen red vaginas that were dying to get fucked and impregnated. So this King Baboon is in this mess of swollen drippy Baboon pussy and he only chooses one and the others that he rejects I call the Jennifer Anistons.

So no matter how hard she tries to lasso the idea guy in, he just goes for the other available pussy, leaving her alone to fend for herself in a babyless world feeling like she has no purpose.

The truth is that they’d never bother making a special on Jennifer Aniston’s mating rituals even though it is a story of dreams, passion and desire, it always ends in rejection and our lives are miserable enough that we don’t need to watch Jennifer Aniston’s story that never has a happy ending, and here she is throwing her vagina out there, hoping that it will get caught, maybe next time she should take a little initiative and show us just how swollen, drippy and alone it actually is by taking off those fuckin’ panties. Enjoy.

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|Panty|Upskirt

2008

09

Sep

Jennifer Aniston is Boring in a Sexy Dress of the Day

3 Comments »

I was at a bar the other night and this annoyingly friendly dude who must have been a lawyer or an accountant or in sales and on vacation bcause he was happy as fuck, dancing around, talking to everyone with a big fuckin’ smile that made me want to punch him in the face. He was with his girlfriend who clearly sent her life in his shadow, you know taking the back burner to him during dinner conversations with friends because his big personality won’t let her get a word in edgewise and anything she says, he discounts and gives his take on it because he’s just that guy.

So dude was dancing around, talking to everyone, grinding with girls all while his girlfriend awkwardly busted her moves she learned at her weekly salsa dance lesson she takes with her friends when the boyfriend is out playing squash or some shit. So dude busts some break dance move and everyone claps and in his excitement from his moment of achievement he runs up to his girlfriend and gives her a high five. She smiles because she’s used to it and has convinced herself that that’s the kind of boyfriend she wants. Someone she can go white water rafting with and high five when they are done. Someone who she can go out to dinner with and high five when he makes a funny joke. Her life was all about humoring him….

About ten minutes after she downed about 10 shots to deal with her inner pain that is the man she is probably going to marry and have annoying kids who they will take to annoying tennis lessons and annoying ski lessons and annoying family trips, the song Cotton Eyed Joe comes on and she drops the dance because I guess it was big when she was a senior in high school, the good old days. Now homeboy didn’t know the dance routine and just stood and watched and tried to smile while she stole her thunder and became the life of the party for once. When I left, I heard them talking and he was giving her shit about wanting to fuck the black guy she was dancing with, but trying to do it in a nice way by telling her that she really came out of her shell for once but that she shouldn’t drink so much because it embarrassed him, when I knew he was just mad that boring little white girl showed a side of herself he never saw and he didn’t like it…..

No Jennifer Aniston, no matter how hard she tries to break out of her shell, and God along with all her friends know how hard she’s tried because of the constant whining, will always be as dull as this girl, the only difference is that the girl I saw can land a boyfriend, even if he’s a fucking cunt.

So despite Aniston being a decent lookin Greek girl because her nose has been fixed and her ass isn’t huge, still sucks and here are some pics to prove it….

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|See Through|Uncategorized

2008

13

Aug

Jennifer Aniston is Bending Over of the Day

12 Comments »

[ Images removed in compliance with DMCA Notice ]

The good news for Jennifer Aniston and her babyless ass, is that when you are lonely and feel that you haven’t completed your role as a woman by never having a baby and when you feel insecure because guys don’t want to impregnate you but have no problem impregnating other girls making you think there’s something seriously wrong with you, there is always the pet store to give you some purpose, by adopting a dog who relies heavily on you for survival, giving you a false sense of relevance in the world, allowing you to feel like someone depends on you, loves you unconditionally and will never fuck off on you and run off with another owner because you keep a tight leash on the fuckin’ thing and because it officially belongs to you and doesn’t really have the freedom to make the same choices every other person in your life has been able to make. I am sure it’s a pretty depressing and embarrassing scene everytime she puts this fucker on her lap and tries to breast feed it like it was your own, but at least it’s keeping her from killing herself, something that may not impact society because she’s spent the last few years being a sad case, useless and irrelevant, but I am sure it has a positive impact on her life and I guess that’s all that matters…Here is her lonely, babyless ass….


In the event you were wondering – John Mayer dumped Jennifer Aniston because She’s Not Good Enough to Settle Down With….At Least She’s Got the Dogs…They’ll Never Leave Her…Looks like Life for Aniston Will Involve a Large Sex Toy Collection and a Whole Lot of Ben and Jerry’s….
GO

Here are those pics…


Related Posts

Jennifer Aniston’s Babyless Ass
Jennifer Aniston’s Sad Hard Nipples
Jennifer Aniston’s Bikini Ass Trying To Get Pregnant
Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipples in a Pink Bikini

Posted in:Ass|Bending|Jennifer Aniston