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Archive for the Katy Perry Category

2009

17

Jun

Katy Perry Does the Gaga of the Day

3 Comments »

You know what fucks up your self esteem, when you launch a shitty pop career and are all the rage for a week or two, then an even uglier bitch moves in on your fuckin’ glory and your ugly ass falls into second place. I can’t imagine the emotional trauma falling second to Lady Gaga would do to a motherfucker’s soul, but I’m thinkin’ it along the lines of being molested as a child by someone you trust, the only thing left for you is to turn lesbian and eat away the pain.

I guess if you can’t beat them, get your hair cut like them, put on stupid glasses like them, and pretty much imitate them, hoping to hold onto that mark you made….while the rest of the world hopes you cunt end up being on the same plane that happens to fuckin’ crash into the Ocean like they were flying out of Brazil or some shit…..I hate them.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Lady Gaga|Ugly Pig

2009

10

Jun

Katy Perry is Cockteasing Me of the Day

5 Comments »

Here is the hottest fucking picture I have ever seen of Katy Perry. Seeing her face down in the fucking grass like she had just been raped and killed, or really just killed, ideally a slow painful death, filled with agony as karma for the pain she has caused us with her career, is fucking hot to me, I seriously just came all over my dog’s little black face….

Posted in:Cocktease|Katy Perry

2009

03

Jun

Katy Perry is Disgusting at Some Event of the Day

10 Comments »

This girl is famous. She is the same girl you didn’t notice in your high school class, not even when gym class rolled around and she put on a tight shirt, hoping some of the boys would look her way, because tit was all she had going for her, but instead the plan backfired and got her teased harder, laughed at better and emotionally crushed, leaving her home alone on Prom Night trying to figure out how she’ll get her revenge on all of us,

So she came up with this Popstar idea, despite all odds, but fueled with the need to prove herself and get her revenge on all the haters, she didn’t take no for an answer, and broke down barriers, like her busted fucking face, her lack of both dancing and singing talent and some miracle made her who she is today, luckily putting her on the international scene so more people out there can take a shot at her, and hopefully break her the fuck down and knock her off this high horse, cuz she doesn’t belong to be on a fuckin’ High Horse, she should be outback shoveling someone else’s high horse’s shit stroking it when no one is looking, wishing one day it will belong to her, before getting kicked in the head by it and ending up in a vegetable only to be taken off life support by her family, in some kind of celebration, cuz even they hate her. Seriosuly. Make her go away.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Tits

2009

26

May

Katy Perry Does Complex Magazine, Unfortunately of the Day

4 Comments »

I think I have a keen eye to spot the imperfections in people. It’s kind of a curse because it makes appreciating a girl talking to me next to impossible, which is okay because girls generally don’t talk to me.

So unlike other men who see a half naked busty chick in lingerie doing a photoshoot, I see a busted faced, sloppy bodied, pig with a dumpy ass and double chin, who despite having been made up for hours upon hours before the shoot, looks like fucking shit.

I’d like to give Marc Ecko some shit for giving this whore a fuckin’ cover with his magazine, but then I remembered they are targeting white suburban kids by pretending they target black dudes, when we all know that black dudes are too busy being hood, rapping and gangbangin’ to care about buying magazines, but no matter how busy they are, they will always fuck white chicks, even if they look like Katy fuckin’ Perry and to back-up my theory, her on and off boyfriend is a black rapper, cuz all it takes for a black dude is white skin.

Check out the Photoshopped Katy Perry Gallery – Of Her in Her Lingerie – Because You Have No Fucking Standards and Just Need Tits

Posted in:Complex|Katy Perry

2009

14

May

Katy Perry Works the Internet of the Day

6 Comments »

Katy Perry realized that there’s some pretty important moves one has to make when your talent is minimal, your novelty act is played out and your looks are definitely not there, and that’s be friends with the most influential internet personality, so that he gives you props whenever you ask, and those props translate into millions of little girls buying your record and tickets to your shows.

Sure, I hate that Perez is the powerhouse that he is online, but I know people he has linked to, who corporations have given record deals to, I know people with T-Shirt companies who have sold out stock becuase they were linked on his site. I know he wouldn’t have mattered had the internet not existed, or had it not gone totally mainstream, but now everyone is watching him and listening, even though he’s really got no business being where he is, but has managed to do it and have an empire built off it, when he should really just be in a back alley suckin dick, someplace his lonely self would be much happier, but whatever, who cares, what matters is this fake friendship that is so fuckin’ obvious and here are the pics of Perez loving every second because he doesn’t realize he is being used.

Lets hope it all falls apart.

Check out the video if you care….

Posted in:Katy Perry|Perez Hilton

2009

07

May

Katy Perry’s Boyfriend has no Taste of the Day

7 Comments »

I guess that Katy Perry is back with her boyfriend Travis McCoy from the band Gym Class Heroes, I don’t really keep track of Katy Perry love affairs because it forces me to accept the fact that dudes actually stick shit in that pig and that upsets me and puts me in a bad mood for a couple of days where I can’t help but contemplate life. I’ve justified this shit because of his drug addiction, maybe they met before he was famous, there’s a lot of reasons he could be in love with her, but I’m gonna stick with the fact that it’s cuz he’s black or half black and black dudes only care if a pussy is white to get up in it.

Here are the boring pictures….

Here’s a song called Whooty to Walk You Through the fact that Black Dudes Like White Chicks no matter what….

The event they attended wasn’t a total bust, some hot pussy showed up to make up for the disgusting that is Katy Perry….

Posted in:Katy Perry|Travis McCoy

2009

30

Apr

Katy Perry Needs to Wear Looser Clothes of the Day

4 Comments »

What the fuck is this costume that Katy Perry is wearing and why is it so tight. I made it pretty fucking clear to Katy Perry that her dumpy ass body has no business being half naked or in spandex. Catsuits are not made for dogs, if you know what I mean….

I get it. She thinks that being popular or having a popular song means people want to fuck her, I know she doesn’t realize there’s nothing remotely attractive about her, but what I don’t understand is why she’s not performing in a Snuggie like she should be.

Speaking of fat girls ruining good things, I was walking down the street the other day and saw a group of fat fucking girls in their school girl outfits. I thought to myself, why are they allowed to wear those, shouldn’t they have a size limit, the girls who don’t make the cut get the sweatpants. Don’t they know that it’s a cliche fantasy for a fucking reason, it’s sacred, it doesn’t need their fucking french fry and cake eating ass to fucking ruin it for us.

That is why I applying for a job as a consultant for private school uniform policies….

Posted in:Fat|Katy Perry|Tight Clothes

2009

28

Apr

Katy Perry’s Dumpy Ass in Pink of the Day

3 Comments »

Katy Perry is a sloppy, piece of shit of a girl who I hate. I am glad she took my Twitter advice to keep her shit under fucking wraps, I’m talking a Snuggie or something similar when she goes out in public because whenever I see her show just a little fuckin’ skin, that Kissed a Girl song jumps into the itunes in my head and I get all sexually confused, because girl on girl action is supposed to be the fucking fantasy, but Katy Perry on girl is just fucking awkward, fat, pale and ugly, making me wonder whether I am really a man or not and the answer to that question always comes back inconclusive.

Posted in:Dumpy|Katy Perry

2009

10

Apr

Katy Perry and the Full Lips She Always Wanted of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is Katy Perry playing up the lesbian shit with a lip purse that she’s holding where her vagina would be, if her pussy lips weren’t thin like the lips on her face, she just doesn’t realize if she’s trying to be funny she should rotate that shit 90 degrees. See that’s me being a mathmetician. I am dyin. I have a hangover and I can’t figure out anything funny to say about this pig and her pussy purse, but I’ll put the pictures up anyway.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Lips|Vagina

2009

09

Apr

Katy Perry’s Ugly Sweater Matches her Ugly Face of the Day

9 Comments »

I slept in again. I guess it happens. The site is slowly dying, so I guess me droppin’ off, only makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense is Katy Perry. This girl has nothing going for her. She’s ugly, she can’t sing and when I was sent this video of her singing one of her original songs back in 2005 when she was just starting out, I couldn’t help but think it was a fucking joke. You know something you’d expect Saturday Night Live or Funny Or Die to produce as a satire viral video or something, so when I realized she was serious and that this Girl Interrupted Gone Wild garbage was what paved the way for her superstar status today. Not that I expected any of the shit she’s ever produced to be anything of substance, you know since she’s a fucking joke, but I would have never expected her career to take off the way it did based on this shit about vagina, even though Box has been her claim to fame.

Here she is the other day in some ugly sweater that matches her ugly face.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Ugly