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Archive for the Lily Allen Category

2009

01

Jun

Lily Allen Tanning Topless of the Day

27 Comments »

Making fun of Lily Allen’s lifeless tits is getting boring. We all know she was pregnant once, they filled with milk and then the baby was exterminated, whether it was intentional, you know at the abortion clinic or unintentional, you know after a night of hard drinking and cocaine use, leaving her tits unsure of what to do, so they slowly soured and deflated, because they were tricked into thinking they’d be of use, only to have that purpose ripped away from them.

I guess she’s found some other use for them, cuz here she is using them to distract us from her floppy gunt, or whatever the hell is going on where her womb once lived happily before being violated by the vacuum cleaner.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Topless

2009

21

Apr

Lily Allen Looks Hot of the Day

2 Comments »

I was almost going to say that Lily Allen looks hot, not because I was trying to be clever and she’s walking around in a blanket, like the time I thought it’d be funny to wear a full ski suit to a picnic at the park so that people would think I was crazy and give me free food, but because she’s coverin’ up that busted face, but then I realized I can still see her short, think, heavily downloaded legs and I’m not really able to see past that. This bitch needs to put a picture of her friend Lindsay Lohan on her fridge and get thinspired, she’s trying to be famous and obesity may have worked for Oprah, Rosie, Roseanne, that bitch in what’s eating Gilbert Grape, Lily Allen to date, John Goodman and probably a lot of other people, but I never jerked off to any of them on a regular basis and I figure real success people should be looking for is directly tied into what I jerk off to.

On a sidenote, I was teasing her on twitter today, this is what I said…not that you care…and either does she, cuz I didn’t get an answer….

@lilyroseallen please don’t take your clothes off cuz you’re shameless and that’s what it takes to get famous. I am not ready for that vag.

@lilyroseallen oh shit – i forgot – @perezhilton already posted your pussy. I guess to make his bisexual readers take the gay plunge.?

Yes, my site is about following useless, unattractive popstars I hate today.

Posted in:Hot|Lily Allen

2009

07

Apr

Lily Allen and Lohan Cover Womanizer of the Day

6 Comments »

I haven’t been keeping track of pretty much anything the last couple of weeks, because I don’t really care. I read Lohan and Ronson are broken up, I read Ronson is getting a restraining order because Lohan is crazy and on drugs, and I did a google search to see if Lohan has died yet, because she hasn’t called to wish me a happy birthday and that’s so unlike her, you know since she’s never called to wish me a happy birhthay, or called me for anything for that matter.

I ended up coming across this video, that 300,000 people have seen, so I am not really quick on the shit, but apparently Lohan got on stage with Lily Allen at her concert and if you can stomach seeing this fat broken uterus in offensively tight shorts, you’ll see Lohan get on stage and sing along with Lily Allen awkwardly, probably because she knows that Lily Allen is good friends with Sam Ronson, and Lohan’s done gone nuts.

Why did I just write all this?! I really couldn’t tell you.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Lindsay Lohan|Womanizer

2009

31

Mar

Lily Allen is Pretty Disgusting of the Day

6 Comments »

Not much hotter than seeing a fat pig of a woman buying 3 cartons of cigarettes, you know to smoke while sitting on her fat ass, thinking about the baby she could have had before having it aborted because it had fetal alcohol poisoning and was going to end up a flipper…..

Except seeing that fat pig of a woman buying In and Out Burger. She’s really living the good life, at least to the homeless people I know, like the guy who claimed he had a radio show out of town, and was just visiting for the night, but got mugged and is missing 20 dollars for a ticket home, and despite being in a stained jacket, unshaven and insane, felt really humiliated trying to beg for money for cigarettes and food, that dude would kill to be Lily Allen in these pictures.

Posted in:Fat|Lily Allen|Pig

2009

27

Mar

Lily Allen in Concert of the Day

8 Comments »

What’s that you’re saying? Lily Allen’s too fat to wear that outfit. Yep. She’s also too fat to have such small tits. Here she is performing. I could tell stories about fucking fat chicks with no tits, but they were all breast cancer survivors and there’s no humor in that.

Posted in:Concert|Lily Allen

2009

03

Mar

Lily Allen Eating Ribs in Bed Like the Pig that She is of the Day

5 Comments »

I am always talking about Twitter like shit changed the fucking world, but I guess it’s the one way to tap into useless celebrities and respond back at them things you think is important, like telling Lily Allen she’s a fat fucking pig after posting these fat pictures of herself eating some ribs in bed at her hotel room wherever the fuck she is.

I mean I thought she was fat enough just in everyday clothes but she’s just become a lot fatter in my eyes, I mean this shit is so fat my wife would jerk off to the shit if she saw it, and this is what she wrote when she posted it….

Ribs and bibs , in bed. Gross in retrospect but so good at the time. Mmmmm

She’s the kind of eating disorder fat chick who recognizes that what she is doing is fucking disgusting while doing it, but has no self control in the moment, only after the fact she can sit down and share her lapse in judgement with the world. She makes me sick and not just just because those ribs look like her underwear on miscarriage day….

Posted in:Bed|Fat|Lily Allen|Ribs

2009

02

Mar

Lily Allen’s Finally Lookin’ Good of the Day

6 Comments »

Lily Allen may be a disgusting pig who I hate and who ignores me on the internet, but she has gone above and beyond her usual laziness where she just walks around without covering her face like we want to see that fucking shit, and by shit, I mean shit. She’s actually stepped back and said to herself that hey, as an ugly person who is already in spotlight too much, polluting everyone’s life with ugliness, maybe I should give the public a break and spare them the abuse by shoving my pillow in my face, something reminiscent of every single time she’s got fucked, you know even the night she got pregnant…. where’s the baby now Lily? Should we issue an amber alert on that shit for you or something? Cunt.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Pillowface

2009

24

Feb

Lily Allen is Furry Fetishist of the Day

6 Comments »


Lily Allen finally found a community that would accept her as a sex object and that is the Furries/Plushies mainly because it covers up her fat body.

In my defense for always calling her out for being fucking ugly, fat and unappealing, the Furries/Plushies community is pretty easy to be desirable in, because it’s one of those things that not that many people are into or even know about, and because it is weird. It’s not the kind of fetish you try out with a girl bring the girl home from the club, because trying to get her into a mascot costume to rub up against her doesn’t always go over well.

Maybe this is just therapy for the loss of her child, you know dressing up like the toys she should be playing with and picking up off the nursery floor. Fucking hippies…

Either way, Lily Allen looks better than ever in this shit, because she’s always had a body that needed to be covered up.. or left in the barn….

Here are some pictures of the Furry Convention because it’s more interesting that Lily Allen
GO

Posted in:Asshole|Lily Allen

2009

19

Feb

Lily Allen’s New Tattoo of the Day

2 Comments »

Following Lily Allen on Twitter the last 2 days has been life changing. First, I saw her call Perez out, then I fell in love, tried to reach out so that she would call me out, she never bothered, so now I’m over that love and back to my old self. I think it’s cuz I got a good nights sleep.

Anyway. This morning she posted her new tattoo, that’s the picture you see.

This is what I wrote her:

it should have been ‘crime scene’ tape and a chalk outline on your FUPA

For those of you who don’t know a FUPA is a Fat Upper Pussy Area, I heard some high school girls making fun of a fat chick about having one, I always knew it as gunt. I’ll admit the joke would have been funnier if I had said womb, but I’m trying not to get banned just yet.

Then last night she wrote that she was sick and cancelled an interview with Dr Drew so Perez tried to be clever saying something smart like “maybe she has an new STD”, good one, useless fuck.

I wrote.

i’m thinking she’s pregnant again…get out the vacuum.

Better one and that’s all that matters…

So, enough about twitter…I fucking hate when people try to relive an internet moment, I just woke up and had to update and will keep my twitter jokes on twitter, where they belong.

Here are some pictures of Lily Allen yesterday….

Now with video…

Posted in:Lily Allen|Tattoo

2009

16

Feb

Lily Allen and Her Panty Flash of the Day

5 Comments »

I am a hypocrite. I am inconsistent. I am full of shit. I’ve been making fun of Lily Allen the last 2 years for no reason other than it being easy because she’s foreign.

I’ve acted passionate about having this hatred for her that I never really had, truthfully, like all things in my life, I was pretty indifferent, but if you read my shit about her abortion/miscarriage and the other evil jokes I made about her, you’d think I had a picture of her on my living room floor that I’d shit on daily until the smell got too bad that I’d be forced to hunt her down, kidnap her, and make her clean it up with her mouth.

But I was never phased by her, so today when I saw these pictures of her showing off her stomach as if to say to the radio host that that is where the baby lived before it fell out of her (got sucked out of her) and these are where she’s been letting her pet ferret suckle because she has the urge to feed something and since the baby is no more, shit’s gone sour, like the Milk in my broken fridge that I drank anyway, so I can relate.

Maybe our connection is obesity and a love for food and drink, maybe there is no connection, maybe I do hate her but just got tricked by a clever interview I saw with her, maybe I like making fun of her, because I really just want to be her friend, at least for today today, but I do know that unlike everyone else, she writes her own music, is successful with her own music, and you can’t hate someone who’s successful for doin’ their own thing, their own way and who clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously and can laugh and enjoy the ride, which is al lot more than you can say for these American celebrity cunts out there. I’m talking to you LOHAN and friends, not that Lohan has friends, but you know what I mean.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Panties|Uncategorized