Man Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Man Category

2010

May

Mel B Looks Like a Man of the Day

Mel B was the Spice Girl I liked best. Maybe it was my black chick fetish, that’s well over a decade old, but probably had more to do with her hard nipples and fit body…a fit body that looks like it may have got hooked on the testosterone her six pack was releasing into her system cuz she looks like her clit may have morphed into a dick. You may like that, as most closet cases do, but remember that maybe you should come out of the closet already, since most closet cases land AIDS, cuz when they finally let loose and listen to those urges, they kind forget about the little things, like putting a condom on before that burly man who spotted their insecurities and potential to be taken to the gay side rapes their ass raw dog cuz he know’s your virgin ass isn’t gonna come polluted…If you know what I mean….not that I know what I am talking about…I just know Mel B kinda looks like a chick….and was once a chick…but I don’t think she is anymore…and I’ll let you figure that one out while masturbating to these pictures….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Man|Mel B

2009

Nov

Amber Rose is a Man in a Dress of the Day

4 Comments »

These pictures reaffirm the reason why Kanye was all up on this bitch. It’s cuz she looks more like a man than he does and he fucking loves dudes he just doesn’t love how un-hip-hop it is to stick your dick in another dude’s ass, so instead of following his heart publicly and embracing who he really is and what he really wants in his life, he just shaves a manly lookin’ bitch down so that when he’s fucking her up the ass, cuz pussy is gross to him, he can pretend it’s his old buddy he used to play ball with and who he has been fantasizing about since he accidentally saw his dick when they were peeing next to each other…..it is just one of those dude with mommy issues situation, you know the kind of guy who can never love another woman cuz his mom is so special to them and no girl can compare, forcing him to go to cock for the male attention he never got in his broken home and the whole thing is heavily complicated, even more complicated than that Avril Lavigne song and that shit is called “complicated” so figure that out for yourself…

Pics via INF

Posted in:Amber Rose|Dress|Man|Tranny

2009

Nov

Ciara and her Man Legs in her Luxury Sports Car of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s more proof that Ciara is actually a man as she gets into her Lambo.

Everyone knows women don’t drive Lambo’s, they drive minivans.

You might as well just walked around with a boner in sweatpants it’d be a less obvious cover-up, dude.

For the record, I realize that I did just write Lambo instead of Lamborghini like I am some kind of chachi motherfucker and I’m punishing myself accordingly….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ciara|Man

2008

May

Jenny McCarthy is a Hot Man of the Day

10 Comments »

Jenny McCarthy has never been hot in my world, but then again, my world is a scary place and girls who were in Playboy don’t exist in it, but when I look at her now, I feel like she’d fit in nicely amongst the trannies I roll by and want to befriend because I am fascinated in their big hair, bad make-up, fake tits and penis, not in a sexual way, I am not creepy like that, despite knowing that tranny porn is watched mostly by straight dudes who think it’s less gay to watch a chick with a dick bang a chick than watch a dude bang a chick, because at least the dick’s got a hot set of fake tits, but I find it a little too unnatural to be down with. I do know that someone who has done that to themselves is probably a lot of fun to hang with because they obviously don’t give a fuck about what other people think about them.

The point of all that was to say that Jenny McCarthy may have big tits, she may live a life as a girl but until I see a spread out pussy, I am calling dude on this shit. Her freaky face is just too much like one of my homeboys than one that comes stock with a vagina.

Posted in:Hot|Jenny McCarthy|Man|Tits

2007

Nov

I am – Jessica Biel’s Got Some Lesbian Dogs of the Day

2 Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

There’s this really mean bull dyke that lives around the corner from me who is always out playing fetch with her 200 pound german defense dog….when I say playing fetch, I mean bitch is in the park wrestling the motherfucker like she’s training it to kill any man that they cross paths with. I can tell every time I walk by them and smile at her lesbian haircut and her lesbian denim and her lesbian combat boots and her lesbian tattoos and her lesbian piercings and her fat lesbian ass, and both her and her dog snarl at me, that she would just love to watch that dog rip my penis off my body and probably the body of every other man in the world so that she can have the girls all to herself. Lesbians are so selfish.

Either way, I wasn’t surprised to see that Jessica Biel has lesbian dogs, mainly because she’s a dude. So she’s just training her dogs to rip her penis off, because she hates it for fuckin’ up her act and it’s time to get rid of it, instead of the penis of every man in the world like the bull dyke who lives in my ‘hood.

I like how she’s not making eye contact with the paparazzi, like pretending they aren’t there and it reminds me of every girl I’ve ever had sex with and that totally turns me on. Does that make me gay?

UPDATE – I HAD TO REMOVE THE PICTURES BECAUSE THE PAPARAZZI ARE FUCKING LEACHING MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WANT TO EXPLOIT PEOPLE AND MAKE TRUCKLOADS OF MONEY……AND ME POSTING THEM TO THE 6 OF YOU IS APPARENTLY ILLEGAL, BUT TAKING THE PICTURES AND SELLING THEM ISN’T. COCKSUCKERS

Related Posts:

Jessica Biel Fighting Back in a Non-Lesbian Way
Jessica Biel’s Dog is a Man’s Best Friend, and by Man, I Mean Her
essica Biel Wearing What She Wore to Prom
Jessica Biel in Her Underwear from That Shitty Adam Sandler Movie

Posted in:Dogs|Jessica Biel|Man|Unsorted

2007

Nov

I am – Jessica Biel is an Idiot of the Day

3 Comments »

I can only assume that Jessica Biel is taking pictures of the one paparazzi that Splash or x17 or TMZ sent to cover the exciting Jessica Biel getting out of her car story to prove to her friends and family back home that people actually do follow her around and care about her existence, she’s not just making the whole thing up like she is with her “vagina”. I think it’s time for her to just give up her act and make a video of Justin doing his choreographed dance while singing in his high pitched voice while her huge cock plays the microphone.

What we don’t see in these pictures, is that the paparazzi that was sent to the exciting Jessica Biel getting out of her car story wasn’t actually the paparazzi at all, but the immigrant Janitor who was forced to take the CEO’s kid out to the dentist because he forgot to empty the trash the day before and this was his punishment. The boss is too busy raping all of the celebrity blogs up the ass to be an involved parent and figured why not give them a camera, just in case they run into someone who may be famous and by famous I mean fucking Justin Timberlake, because other than her shitty Adam Sandler movie she hasn’t been too busy since Seventh Heaven fired her for being a whore in Details magazine. I wonder what her preacher father thinks of her and her homosexual relationship now, but I bet he’s not very tolerant.

I don’t know where I am going with this, but I hate when celebs or people who think they are celebs because they were on a TV show a long time ago because they had big tits and decided to stay in LA hoping someone throws some table scraps of a job their way, take pictures of the paparazzi. I would rather they do something a little more crafty, like make Christmas Ornaments, or pullin’ out her dick and pissing on them, kinda like Hayden Panettiere does every time no one’s watchin’ and doesn’t have to pee sitting down pretending she’s a lady. I told you I’d mention her in every post today and I am a man of my word.

Related Posts:

Jessica Biel GQ Bikini Pictures
Jessica Biel in a Gay Porn Moment
Jessica Biel Taking Out the Trash in Her Robe
Jessica Biel Making Sex Faces

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Man|Paparazzi|Unsorted

2007

Nov

I am – Pink Wearing Pink of the Day

No Comments »

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

Pink is so clever in the way she dresses because she’s wearing pink and her name is Pink. It’s like the time she dyed her hair pink like the raver she claims she was. I think I like that she’s wearing pink because it makes her ditch pig face believable because pigs, like Pink are pink.

I was trying to get home last night from being drunk and the whole street was in lock down. The media was there and about 15 cop cars and 30 cops. I asked the guys to interview me as a star witness because when I am drunk, I feel lying about crimes I didn’t see for the local news make for good times, but they didn’t want to bother with me. They did tell me that the crime all these cops were there for was because a cop shot a dog. Some homeless dude’s dog bit a female cop and she pulled out her gun and shot it. I tried to move into the scene to get my own video of how ridiculous the whole thing was and a cop got fucking aggressive with me. He was french and yelling at me to get the fuck away from where I was standing and I just said that I was lookin’ for my daughter’s dog and I wondered if he had seen in. That’s when I realized that dog killing cops have no sense of humor and motherfucker tried to arrest me.

Either way, Pink’s a fucking dog and should be shot. Here are her pics.

Related Posts:

Pink Does Lady Things
Pink is a Man in a Leotard
Pink Likes to Fly
Pink is a Man in a Bikini

Posted in:Man|Pink|Ugly|Unsorted

2007

Oct

I am – Lucy Lawless Dressed Like a Dude of the Day

1 Comment »

I decided to post these because I always thought bitch was a dyke and I know you used to get off to her broad shoulders, so it’s always funny when the girl you used to jerk off to while watching her on the warrior princess show and reading your comics has decided to go through with the sex change because she was born a man on the inside, like Jamie Lee Curtis. Wearing a man’s shirt and tie is just phase one of letting the world know that it’s coming.

Speaking of cumming, I used to date a hermaphrodite or at least a girl who jokingly told me she was a hermaphrodite over and over again, until I started believing she was opening up to me, and tried to play it off as a joke to gauge my reaction. She had all her lady parts in place and looked like a thin, relatively sexy girl with big natural tits and an ass you could bounce your dick off, but it turned out that ass you could bounce your dick off was packing a dick. Because when she was a baby they found testicles and a prostate in her ass. I never asked if they were removed, I just kept trying to forget that she ever told me shit and tried to believe it was a joke because every time I’d freak out about it, she’d convince me it was a lie, but still every time i’d fuck her normal, functioning vagina, I’d get uncomfortable, but not uncomfortable enough to not bust all over her. Maybe she wasn’t really a hermaphrodite and she was too hot to not fuck and maybe she was just a girl who was fucking with my head 6 months into me slamming her, but in my mind I banged a hermaphrodite and that makes me as weird as you. Cuddles.

Either way, I only like lipstick lesbians and hot chicks experimenting with lesbianism. Bull dykes are just too damaged from being raped or molested or from being fat and ugly that they’ve denounced men and our superficiality. I’d rather put the bull dykes in their flannel and leather and denim and construction boots and strap-on’s with their lesbian haircuts on their motorcycles so that they can ride into the sunset, as fucking far away from me as possible.

Related Posts:
Hot Sluts Wrestling in Xena Costumes and Mud
Chyna is a Man in Her Panties
Chyna’s Male Genitalia

2007

Oct

I am – Pink Does Lady-Like Things of the Day

1 Comment »

The great thing about Pink is how committed she is to pretending that she’s got a vagina, when we all know that bitch is packing the biggest pair of balls Cary Hart has ever seen. Here she is getting a manicure like every normal tranny because having nice nails distracts people from the bulge in her fucking thong.

I got no tranny stories for you today….so just look at the pictures and make up your own or remember that night you slipped up because you were so horny and knew bitch was a dude, but told your friends that you only figured it out after you sucked its dick….if you know what I mean…which you do because it’s your story not mine. Get it together asshole.

Related Posts:

Pink is a Man in a Leotard
Pink’s Pecs in a Bikini
Pink’s Suicidal Tattoo
Pink’s Pink Nipples Pictures

Posted in:Man|Manicure|Pink|Tranny|Unsorted

2007

Aug

I am – Pink is a Man in a Leotard of the Day

4 Comments »

There was a time when I was really into leotards. I am not talking about when my stepdaughters were five and taking dance classes because that’s not the kind of guy I am, I am talking about when they started to hit the scene in the last couple of years. I remember in the 90s girls would wear these things called body suits that had snaps in the crotch and would pretty much be these tight fucking shirts that made a nice change in scenery from bitches in over-sized t-shirts. I was always fascinated by an article of clothing that touched the ass, pussy and tits all at the same time and I guess I carried that over into my life today. I remember convincing my stepdaughters to wear leotards and walk around the house in them because despite not being able to get hard, my love for clothing that touched tits, ass and pussy at the same time never changed…and as American Apparel started pumping more and more of them out and girls from all walks of life started wearing them daily, I became a happy man….

That was until today, when these pictures of Pink wearing a leotard pretty much disgusted me. Her broad manly shoulders and the penis bulge that I can only imagine she’s hiding behind that skirt thing of hers is about as sexy as prison rape and that is why I am posting them for you, because I know you have a fantasy for prison rape. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you a fag if no one knows you get off to men shoving their dicks in you violently….well, maybe it does…but just a little.

Related Posts:

Pink Likes to Fly
Pink in a Bikini
Pink’s Nipple Piercing
Pink’s Nipples
Old Pink Upskirts

Posted in:Leotard|Man|Pink|Unsorted