Sex Scene Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

07

May

Denise Richards Getting Felt Up in a Bra of the Day

She was on a show or movie called Mother’s Little Helper and I am posting it for Mother’s Day, cuz I’m thematic like that….

She is getting fucked in this clip cuz flashing her fake tits and being in sex scenes is all she really knows, it’s the only acting experience she’s had and whenever she lands on set with a gig, she gets half naked and knows the drill, which got awkward the time she tried to guest star on Sesame Street….

Sure, she’s seriously too old for this shit, she’s a mom and this isn’t teaching her grown kid a good lesson, but they probably know they are dealing with a useless slut as everyone else does too….

Either way, watch the clip…there is unfortunately no nipple, but then again who knows if this bitch even has nipples anymore….

Posted in:Denise Richards|Mother's Little Helper|Sex Scene

2010

15

Apr

Amanda Seyfried Sex Scene in Chloe of the Day

17 Comments »

I saw this movie Chloe the other day on cheap night because my pervert friend wanted to see Amanda Seyfried naked and that perverted friend was me. She’s hot and after seeing this, I may be in love with her or at least with her tits, which is saying a lot, because I fucking hate all celebrities.

I like that she’s smart with her career because she takes the money from the fluffy bullshit roles that normaly kill careers when they replace you with another fluffy bullshit actor, but still gets naked in other roles, keeping her shit nice a diverse.

I also like that Lohan hates her because Lohan knows she’s a threat and because she doesn’t answer Lohan’s calls, cuz despite being on Mean Girls together, she knew Lohan had shit on her…

Here are some of the Chloe scenes I loved her tits in….

Here is the Julianne Moore lesbian scene….

Part 2….

Here are some other nude scenes…..

Here is a sex scene with some dude….

Here’s some Julianne Moore tit in a shower scene….

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|Chloe|Nude|Sex Scene

2010

04

Feb

Lucy Lawless Sex Scene in Spartacus of the Day

14 Comments »

Rememeber Lucy Lawless….of course you do…I don’t know why I bothered asking that, when I know as you make your weapons for simulated battles in the park, you know the catapult, and the fucking lance and other Braveheart shit that prevents you from seriosuly getting laid, you always fall back on Lucy Lawless to guide, to show you the way and to make you feel loved when you are in the process of making love to yourself. As a virgin loser, you are loyal to your fantasies, as much as you are loyal to you videogames, you comic books and your fake god that guides you into battle every Sunday afternoon….so you’ll like this, if not for seeing tits but for the idea that in the era of Spartacus you had slaves service you before fucking, reminding us how conservative and shitty we’ve become…

Via – Whoever made the show Spartacus and TotallyCrap for posting it.

Posted in:Lucy Lawless|Sex Scene

2009

18

Dec

Laurence Leboeuf in Some Sex Scene of the Day

2 Comments »

This is a pretty rare opportunity that happens pretty much never, when the girl I am writing about happens to be someone who I know on a personal level because 5 years ago, she used to drink at the same parties as me. We used to talk, she was always nice to me, I used to try to fuck her because she was a red head, she wouldn’t let me, I used to try to get her to show me her tits, but she wouldn’t show me them, and then I never saw her again, but today, I finally get to see those tits, 5 years older and a lot less exciting than I thought they would be, but I guess the good news is that she’s making money, so in the event I ever run into her again and she remembers our drunken conversations, she can buy me a couple fucking drinks, especially now that she’s a big movie star in shitty French movies and now that I’ve done this post for her, cuz let’s face it, if I didn’t know her personally, this woulda never made the cut and I have pretty seriously shitty editorial standards to begin with…..

Posted in:Laurence Leboeuf|Sex Scene

2009

02

Dec

Rachel Bilson’s Sex Scene for Funny or Die of the Day

1 Comment »

Rachel Bilson’s Deleted Sex Scene from Rachel Bilson

I figure Rachel BIlson is worth fucking, despite the whole marrying that dude from Star Wars glitch in her life, but I was down with her on The OC, but in my defense, compared to Mischa Barton and her sloppy fucking ass the jewish dude and his dad from LA Law were second in line…..

Either way, this sex tape scene for Funny or Die to promote the new Rachel Bilson movie was probably the best Funny or Die video to date, which may not be saying much because I fucking hate Funny or Die, WIll Farrell and their marketing guy who never links to me even after begging me to post his videos….but it is a sign that maybe they are moving away from candy-coated Saturday Night Live boring humor and into the right direction into smuttier, racier shit the internet wants. See they’ve got the celebrity hook-ups and big budgets….they just need the balls to push the fucking limits a little….

That said, they should probably offer me a job as a consultant. I could use the constant income.

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|Sex Scene

2009

21

Aug

Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche Sex Scene in Some Movie Called Spread of the Day

5 Comments »

I remember when Anne Heche was a phony lesbian who was licking Ellen’s twat for fame and fortune and exposure, you know cuz suckin’ dick to the top wasn’t working too well for her. Well now she’s in some new movie with Ashton Kutcher where he pretends to fuck her like she used to pretend to fuck Ellen and you can see some tit and some bum….good times…now you’ve seen the best part of the movie, let’s hope it bombs…

Posted in:Anne Heche|Ashton Kutcher|Sex Scene|Spread

2008

10

Nov

Lil Bow Wow’s First Sex Scene of the Day

12 Comments »

Remember when Lil Bow Wow slaughtered hip hop and took rapping about the hard life, drugs, hoes and money and turned it into some candy coated bullshit about having crushes on girls to infiltrate the mainstream Disney market back when he was 12. Well it looks like he has hit puberty and taken his novelty act to entourage where he has a sex scene with some naked chick, something that would have been pretty criminal a 10 years ago, so criminal you’d go to jail if you owned a copy of it, the same jail where hip hop runs through the shower rape scene drains, a place Bow Wow will never see, because dude’s all hollywood and shit….either way, watch the scene if you’re one of the weirdos who’s been excited about seeing him in a sex scene since he hit the scene like he was an Olsen twin.or if you’re not…

Posted in:Bow Wow|Sex Scene

2008

24

Apr

Mischa Barton’s Shitty Sex Scene of the Day

6 Comments »

So Mischa Barton is trying to revitalize her career after being a drunken useless whore with fat thighs who was the worst actor on the show the OC which says a lot about how bad she is at acting considering the show was the equivalent of a Soap Opera in quality and Soap Operas remind me of some shitty college student video project or porn without the fucking. The movie is called Closing the Ring and I don’t know when it hit theaters or if it hit theaters but I do know that Mischa got topless in it and I’ve got the clip of her in action.

The one thing I hate about sex scenes in movies is that they aren’t realistic, sex is supposed to be dirty and sloppy and awkward, it’s never thei gay romantic shit where you gaze into your lovers eyes and tell them how much they mean to you while you spend 15 minutes kissing her in a loose fitting top that gives the audience a glimpse of her breast before dude has his way with her in positions that just aren’t real. I’ve always said that if I ever right a movie, the sex will be real, there will be penetration, none of this high school grinding shit that gets girls horny and makes guys feel like they can never deliver the goods proper because they aren’t gay actors and actually want to stick our dick’s inside.

I guess all that matters is that Hollywood sex scenes do it for you because you finally get to see some starlet you like in compromising positions and you probably don’t care about how fuckin’ bullshit the whole scenario is, because you just want to get tits and you don’t let things like Soap Opera caliber performances upset you. Unfortunately, I do and I hate Mischa Barton more than I did 5 minutes ago.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Sex Scene|Topless

2008

15

Apr

Kristen Bell’s Sex Scene in the Forgetting Sarah Marshall R-Rated Clip of the Day

1 Comment »

I woke up after 3 hours of sleep wondering why my wife never wants to fuck me. Sure I’ve got the whole impotency issue and there was a time she wouldn’t keep her slimy hands off of me forcing me to reject her and tell her how gross she was repeatedly until bitch understood the magnitude of what her obesity was doing to me sexually, but every now and then, my ridiculous sexual obsession and “Always Down to Fuck” attitude gets the better of me and she rejects me. I don’t know how often you’ve been rejected by girls, but there’s something really destructive to one’s confidence and self esteem when a bitch who you don’t even want to fuck turns you down when you’re willing to close your mother fucking eyes and pretend you are slamming a Sea Manatee or someshit.

So after waking up and forcing myself to shower off the dirty thoughts I had about my disgusting wife I came up with a rant about how when you first get involved with someone the sex is retarded and never ending, then one day it all stops and not because you want it to, but because they want it to and it makes me wonder why they stick around or why I let them stick around because instead of having trouble walking from having my penis owned, I have trouble sleeping thinking about how the fuck I am going to break into her box, despite how scary the shit is. I feel like I am like a fucking David Blane motherfucker trying chained upside down and dropped into a tank of hungry sharks lookin for the magic button that will turn the box on long enough to get in and get off and get the fuck out so that I can pretend it never happened.

Either way, here’s a clip from Forgetting Sarah Marshall that was just emailed to me where Kristen Bell has some stupid sex, trying to be stupid funny, in a stupid movie that is going to be a stupid success because the public is stupid and because Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell are the stars and they are stupid hot.

Posted in:Forgetting Sarah Marshall|Kristen Bell|Sex Scene

2007

19

Sep

I am – Dane Cook Sex Scene from Good Luck Chuck of the Day

2 Comments »

GOOD LUCK CHUCK – NSFW Clip – Watch more free videos

I hate Dane Cook. I don’t find him funny and I used to be offended that this fucker was famous and making money for being such a fucking asshole and not the good kind of asshole that makes you laugh, but the kind of asshole you just want to punch in the face.

In this clip he’s banging some topless chick with his shirt on. We all know that he’s not actually banging her but the ending is pretty good because I just keep thinking about how I wish that actually happened to this cocksucker on one of his college tours. He’s the kind of guy who looks like he’s never been beaten up and the best way to make an asshole shut up is to get your big scary gay friend to rape him. Nothing ruins a man’s with a stupid sense of humor’s jokes than violating him.

I used to know this one dude who was always an asshole who would get drunk with us. He was a rich kid who thought he was invincible. We couldn’t ever calm him down, he’d just spit on people, throw his drink on people, dance with people’s girlfriends and seriously stir up shit when he shouldn’t have. We were constantly backin’ him up when people would turn on him and he never got more than a push and always walked away the bigger man. We all would talk about how he needed to get beat up because would be the best thing for him to learn there are some people you shouldn’t fuck with.

He ended up getting arrested for some stupid shit he did while drunk that involved taking a baseball bat to parked cars in the parking garage of his building that was under video camera surveillance and spent some time in some maximum security prison because it was considered a serious offense and because he had a shitty lawyer. I assume that they took his trust fund ass virginity when he was inside for those 6 months because when dude came out he never started drunken shit, he was always nice to be around and always bowed down to people bigger than him, when in the past he woulda got in there face. When I’d look into his eye, I knew that something broke him on the inside and that something was some biker’s dick who was in for murder.

So here’s the Dane Cook video that I like to believe is a real situation because this fucker needs to be put inline.

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Sienna Miller’s Sex Scene from Factory Girl