SFW Archives - Page 1083 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

03

Sep

Ashley Benson’s Day 2 in a Bikini of teh Day

Ashley Benson was in a bikini yesterday, and since I’m a basic bitch, I have decided, despite my protest, to do a #TBT post, because this happened, like most pictures posted on the site, prior to me posting them, I mean I guess everything in life is a #TBT even posting this, because it happened already….my mind is blown…fucked…but I’m not fucked…but wouldn’t mind being fucked…by chubby AShley Benson’s big tits…because in the last few months, I’ve been dying for a fat girl with big tits to smother me with said tits…

Sure, you’ll argue that she’s not fat, and that all girls look like this now, and they kind of do, thanks food production of the 2000s for that….

But I’m from the 70s, and this shit, is big girl, and big girls, even when celebrated and seen as normal because everyone around them, must still be treated like big girls…and that means…booty callled at 3 am drunk…for the tits…

That’s all for now on this…maybe we can do a #TBT on Friday with Day 3 of her bikini…

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

03

Sep

90s Models by Peter Lindbergh for Nowness of the Day

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Cindy Crawford, Eva Herzigova, Karen Alexander, Helena Christensen, Nadja Auermann and Tatjana Patitz star in one of the most boring, old folks coming together and talking about the glory days, bullshit with some Photographer for some Magazine…

90s models are awesome, even if they are 50, but this is hardly representative of them being fun, crazy or exciting, they aren’t even really talking about the shit they’ve done and you know each of them has seem some shit, and done some shit…

But this video, is safe, not even war stories, and none of them of having pyschotic episodes or flashing their tits…

But since I love 90s models…I’ll post it anyway…it’s just what I have to do…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2015

03

Sep

Candice Swanepoel Trying to be Hot for Social Media of the Day

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Candice Swanepoel bores me…

I don’t know why she’s suddenly scrambling on social media to get noticed. Maybe Victoria’s Secret gave her notice that they won’t be renewing her contract and she realized that she’s a one trick pony and that the world on sees her as one of their imported models…who only does Victoria’s Secret campaigns and without Victoria’s Secret she’s nothing….

Because unlike all the other old, washed up, Victoria’s Secret girls, who are still hot, this one has nothing really exciting going on for her, and hasn’t done anything that exciting…

The only press or scandal she’s ever had was getitng engaged to her long time boyfriend…fuck off…

So now she’s pushing these lingerie pics out there…in a “Look at Me, I’m here”….but she’s gotta do the Miranda Kerr and marry into hollywood then fuck bieber, or the shit the other girls are doing like hanging out with Taylor Swift, or even do the Heidi Klum and throw a quirky Halloween party so people know you’re weird…and not just because you fuck, marry, reproduce with a massive black man with a voice of an angel…

What I’m saying is that even with THESE VINTAGE NUDES and her RECENT ONES FOR LUI …she’s dull…as fuck…

So here are some safe, hot body, boring, pics of her body….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2015

03

Sep

Sara Underwood is Reaching of the Day

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You may not remember Sara Underwood….because she doesn’t matter but has existed and has DONE NUDE PHOTOS MANY TIMES WHICH IS HOW SHE GOT A FAN BASE …

Other things she’s accomplished in her career, based on being smart enough to get naked at 18 for Playboy was dating Ryan Seacrest…..who got her into Hosting, as hosting has made his robot dancing monkey ass close a billionaire….and with his guidance…she got cast in the shittiest of shows, so shitty that the whole network went defunkt…

That said, she’s disappeared for at least 5 years, maybe depression from her fail as a host, killing a network like Seacrest killed her soul while doing cocaine off her asshole, like a hooker who does anything for money…but I’ll assume she had an overbearing rich boyfriend holding her back…but they probably broke up and now she’s on NERD hustle…in superhero outfits…and it’s just silly…but I guess not silly enough for me to post it for you nerds who love girls who pretend to be into nerd shit especially when you can cross reference them to their pussy from 8 years ago…

Fame Whoring…

Posted in:Sara Underwood|SFW

2015

03

Sep

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I love asking clearly terminal ill people what their diet secrets are…

It’s one of those pleasures of life, you know the simple things…

I also love videos of black women being racist to clerks in menial jobs like a fast food restaurants..

I also love paying girls for pictures of vaginas…because I love vaginas and I love girls willing to show their vaginas for money…and I love that it’s not that much money…because I love to know what ever girl around me’s vagina looks like…

Today is full of love..Romance happened..

Here are some stepLINKS in the Morning…

Girls in Towels
CLICK HERE

Her name is Leidy Mazo…and She’s a Fame Whore in Water Promoting Water
CLICK HERE

Thug Notes – The Fellowship of the Ring
CLICK HERE

Phoebe Price Grabbing Her Vag
CLICK HERE

Bella Thorne Lookin’ Hot
CLICK HERE

Nina Agdal in Lingerie
CLICK HERE

Tom Brady No Wedding Ring…
CLICK HERE

Girls with Tattoos
CLICK HERE

Skinning a Watermelon
CLICK HERE

I have a Golden GIrls Fetish – So This Golden Girls Gossip Excites Me
CLICK HERE

Jennifer Aniston in Spandex
CLICK HERE

Help This Girl Save Her Dog…Because We All Love Dogs
CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|stepLINKS

2015

02

Sep

Chloe Segigny’s Tampon String Bikini of the Day

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Here’s some Chloe Segigny’s Tampon String sticking out of her bikini…because girls get their periods…and wear tampons..that sometimes stick out of underwear or bikinis…or vaginas while you eat them out..

I am not a period shamer, or one of those never trust anything that bleeds for a week, only into menopausal women kind of guy…I like periods, they mean fresh and fertile even if used up like Chloe Sevigny, who I would have assumed didn’t get her period anymore due to drugs and being too fucking hip for life….

I don’t love period sex, or girls who make period art, in an embracing the fact they get their periods….but that doesn’t mean I don’t have period sex, or make period art that looks like a murder scene all over my bed or face…because I take what I can get…

I don’t think a girl getting her period in a pair of white bikini bottoms, or pants or really ever….is anything to be ashamed of…but I guess this is what feminists want to believe dudes feel…in this weird girls perpetuate the hate towards girls while guys just want to fuck girls…if they aren’t too fat to fuck…

I am just surprised this too hip, pre hipster, fashionable New York based, too cool for school, elitist…isn’t more progressive in her period receptor of choice, since everyone knows tampons cause toxic shock, and my penis doesn’t…it only causes shame and sadness and disappointment…

I am also glad that she didn’t wear her prosthetic penis in her bikini…a prosthetic penis you can see HERE if you’re into that more than ass in bikini on it’s period….

HEre she is being HIPSTER COOL

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKINI TAMPON STRING PICS CLICK HERE

Shout out to MadamMeow for the find…

Posted in:Chloe Sevigny|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Ashley Benson’s Bikini Snapchat of the Day

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Ashley Benson is silly famous. She’s also a good 15 to 20 pounds overweight so she knows to show off her fat girl tits in bikini, or while tanning topless, because it’s better than the other options…and apparently he uses snapchat to do it, because that’s where the real grimy shit goes down when it comes to social media…it’s where girls feel comfortable doing very naked things and even very pornographic things to themselves…so girls feel free to add me to snapchat “drunkstepfather”…I won’t show off tit like Ashley Benson…but you can…and I’ll masturbate to it….because that’s how I socialize…

These should be more hardcore…

Oh look she was on instagram too…what a little busty, chubby, self promoter!

A video posted by Ashley Benson (@itsashbenzo) on Sep 1, 2015 at 10:34am PDT

I guess…if it’s not a sex tape, or more topless pics, who really cares…snapchat could be used so much better…

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Selena Gomez Erotica of the Day

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Selena Gomez is part of the Taylor Swift cult, you know one of the Taylor Swift minions, participating in the Taylor Swift PR tour, in what I find odd, and maybe reflective of not having a solid support system growing up, or maybe not having confidence in her own career that she seeks some spiritual solidarity…you know some people go to Scientology…others…to Taylor Swift…because if I was in the pop scene, that last thing I’d do is befriend the fucking enemy in some weird guise of a sisterhood…

It’s fucking creepy…

I heard in passing that when Bieber performed at the VMAs, the Taylor Swifts left the room, as a sign of loyalty to their sister Selena…in a WTF is going on, how is this actually happening, or news, or a thing…but I guess Social media is to blame…but also to thank for these pics of her showing cleavage, thanks to fake tits, if you’re into Selena…

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Ass Does a Kick of the Day

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Here is Jennifer Aniston, finally married, demonstrating…a kick…

I don’t find Jennifer Aniston a compelling character, beyond her nipples there is not much there, and I’ve always been a firm supporter of Brad Pitt in leaving this one for the other one, who seems darker and more fun in bed…

I mean sure Jennifer Aniston is a Greek and greeks love anal, but I’m sure that ex heroin addict, daddy issue, rich kid brad who dresses like a Goth…delves far deeper into fetishes…when not adopting 100 kids to build her own army…

That said, soccer moms everywhere aspire to be this fit, look at my ass I still got it at 45…even though my husband cheats on me with young girls…and I’ll look at anything in spandex…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston|SFW

2015

02

Sep

Headless Bar Refaeli in Lingerie of the Day

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Bar Refaeli is getting married in 3 weeks. I have no idea why I know this or why I care…I think it has something to do with having it come to me in a dream and I may be totally off on it, but I can’t really differentiate reality anymore…everything is just one fast moving blur through a screen…

That said, she’s decided to post some sheer bra pic holding her nipple, to compliment her series of bikini pics she’s posting, in what I guess is one last hurrah before being locked down, possibly a cry for help, hoping some new man sweeps in and takes her away, maybe an ex from the past she wants to make jealous, in a “you can’t have me, look what you cheated on Leonardo DiCaprio”…kind of way…

It’s not exciting, 30 year old brides to be, not porn to me as most are so into their future husbands they are hard to crack on their bachelorette parties…and you have to wait at least a year of marriage until they are ready to be selfish and cheat…but I guess knowing men are jerking off to you helps fill that need for mail attention in your quest to be a wholesome jewish mom….

The truth is that this is probably part of her own lingerie collection…make that money while the fans still have hope…

In conclusion….
#Tits

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

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