I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the SFW Category

2016

08

Jun

Christina Milian for Maxim of the Day

Christina-Milian-Sexy-5-624x779

Christina Milian is almost fascinating to me, I say almost because she totally misses the mark and ultimately she comes across as a vapid attention seeker who thinks she’s hotter than she is – who is just doing what all the instagram whores are doing – getting slutty on social media in this over sexualized world – to get followers – only unlike those whores looking for rich guys to fund their social media life – she’s already rich. She already found her wallet that she fucked and she even had a hit song – that she probably get paid on – back when she was Nicki Minaj before Nicki Minaj…not to mention credits on a bunch of pop songs her husband at the time hooked her up on so that she’d always have money coming in and couldn’t fuck him for alimony…like she was Amber Rose…and I guess she is like Amber Rose…a mom – whore – who doesn’t need to be – but they are trashy and this is what fuels them…it’s what they think their worth is…

So she’s in Maxim, instead of just kickin’ it on a pile of fucking money, because Maxim is that stamp of you’re pussy’s not too banged out yet…even though it is.

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Lindsay Pelas Has Big Tits of the Day

Lindsay Pelas is one of these instagram whores – who is so low level – and irrelevant that dudes, mainly bros, follow because her tits are fucking absurdly huge and even magical…up on some hormones in the food or just interesting genetics –

She uses her tits as a tool to get ahead, and rightfully so, they are a wonderfully huge talent and it would be a fucking crime if she didn’t use them before the rest of her fattens up, and catches up to her tits, like every busty girl I’ve ever known, when her metabolism slows down at 30…

It’s safe to assume she uses her social media to get paid for sex, because the brands hiring her are not paying much, because they know her audience and worth is all in the tits…to jerk off to…for big titty fetishists, which is pretty much everyone, even if big tits aren’t a prerequisite to fuck, they are magical when they happen without obesity.

I don’t like giving these low level attention seeking whores attention or credibility – but magical tits always win…they always get the best of me – when I get nothing from them because they are cheesy, Vegas-y and into money..but for the record – I posted her first tit video that went viral before 99 percent of people – so she owes me a motorboat / full contact lap dance…etc.

Posted in:LIndsay Pelas|SFW

2016

08

Jun

Exploring the Mystical Roni Rose of the Day

Getting that good good sun!!!

A video posted by Roni Rose (@getit_rose) on

Roni Rose is some girl who has 153,000 followers – because she’s like so many other girls – trying to be an instagram whore – rocking her fake tits – probably an escort – hoping at least one rich guy will fuck her and knock her up like she was Amber Rose….with a face that looks like a tranny – lips that look like they were injected – tits that are round and clown like – all living the trashy, hope to be a Karadashian, or at least in a rap video, when not out fucking athlete DREAM…

It’s almost insane how many instagram whores there are in each market.

From hipster, to tattoo bitches, to hip hop, to cheesy bikini models, to travel bloggers, to fashion models, to naked models who think they do fashion – all while hoping to fucking win at life…

It’s almost unmanageable, that’s why when you’ve got goood seats because you fuck athletes – or want to – make good use of it – when Steph Curry is in the frame – innocently trying to work him into getting his sperm inside you – while the world watches…

Screen Shot 2016-06-08 at 12.27.42 PM

If you want to learn more about this athlete fucker – or wannabe athlete fucking – I have everything you need to know and that is that she bowls…

and she whores…

Posted in:Roni Rose|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Chloe Grace Moretz Cameltoe of the Day

You know…I don’t love Chloe Grace Moretz, she’s freshly turned 18, so she’s only existed as a sexual object for a few months – and she just didn’t resonate with me. Then I factor in the fact that she’s some annoying rich kid to begin with, whored out as a kid to make more money for the family and to make her Plastic Surgeon dad proud after making a life giving bitch’s tits back in Georgia or wherever they are from…only to get into movies and to get celebrity at a young age making for an extra cunt…

But it turns out her cunt is extra, or has extra cunt that barely fits in her fitness pants, eating up all that fabric like it’s hungry after a workout..and from this day forward, I proclaim myself a Chloe Grace Moretz fan…or maybe I’m just into her cameltoe…either way – lovely.

Posted in:Chloe Grace Moretz|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Constance Jablonski for Air France Madame of the Day

Constance-Jablonski-Swimsuits-Air-France-Madame-2016-Editorial04

Constance Jablonski must have broke up with one of her rich boyfriends – because this is the second post of her in two days – which is a lot of a model we haven’t seen in at least a year or two…unless she’s still been working, and I’ve just neglected her – not because I hate her…but because we live in a world with way too many fucking distractions (tits) that force me to get confused at the tits, or bikinis, I’m looking at because of tits..

It’s like who are these tits, where do they belong, why are they in the trunk of my car, what did I do last night…oh fuck….I better throw them into the river….as they all seem to merge into one giant attention seeking tit we all suckle on for nourishment….

There’s so many girls out there trying to make it while being half naked…too much to handle…but only one Constance Jablonski being featured in Air France’s in flight magazine I’d mile high club myself in the middle seat to..

Posted in:Constance Jablonski|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Nina Agdal Got Work of the Day

Nina-Agdal-Jonathan-Simkhai-Pre-Fall-2016-Collection05

I always get excited for Nina Agdal when her drunk, retard looking head, gets work…because it makes her seem like less of a rich guy fucking whore from Miami who think she’s a big deal because she fucked her way into Sports Illustrated – something she’s leveraged the last 7 years and keeps pushing….rather than doing anything actually impressive with her career…

All I see is a lazy party girl, who gets occassional jobs, but doesn’t need those jobs thanks to making sure the guys she fucks are billionaires and will finance her..

I can just tell she’s got a shitty attitude and is shit, but her body is ok when not in a dress…just ask any rich guy who’s fucked her for money…or I guess you could look at her countless bikini pics..

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Emilia Clarke for Violet Grey of the Day

Emilia-Clarke-Violet-Grey-June-2016-Photoshoot06

People love Emilia Clarke…she’s on the biggest show on TV, so I guess that makes sense…or makes her relevant…but I prefer when she’s got her tits out…it’s just more dramatic, interesting…..while I know other people, the weird ones, only care about when she’s with dragons…because that speaks to their SCI/FI fantasy weirdness…and when they see shit like this, they just get mad that she’s a real person, making real money, manipulating the fuck out of them by being the hot bitch in a show they worship…

I’m only mad the pics are dull…you’d think they could put a little budget into making this fun…

Posted in:Emilia Clarke|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Kate Moss for The Edit of the Day

Kate-Moss-The-Edit-June-2016-Cover-Photoshoot06

Kate Moss is magic…

I don’t know what it is about her, even when she’s average at best, I turn into a gay man when I see her and just think she’s fucking great…

I think it’s got to do with her being skinny, rock and roll, tits out and a vagina that has seen some shit….all while being an iconic cunt who is probably miserable to hang out with for an hour…but not because of her accent…or the fact she’s got a kid…but because models are spoiled fucking cunts who think they are hotter than they are…which is pretty fucking hot…considering they are hot to begin with…always coddled and spoiled…

Posted in:Kate Moss|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Laetitia Casta fir Marie Claire France of the Day

CASTA-8

I used to masturbate to Laetitia Casta tits in a simpler time – we’ll call it 1996 when I first got the internet…and figured out how it worked thanks to prison time I was serving being modern and convenient…

This was in the dial up era when I could get off to a set of slow loading tits, bar by bar of image slowly loading – edging myself until the full breast dropped…where this whole “celebrity” thing started up for me, using old Thumbnail Gallery Posts for porn material…always choosing the celebrity section – because models were just hotter than 90s shitty porn people.

So these tits, in 1996, were a staple…the stars of the internet…they were from France and huge…they never went onto doing much, but being so early in her naked for her career, makes her and her tits iconic…and now she’s still doing media and still looking good – reassuring my decision to jerk off to her instead of other bitches of the time…

So I guess Laetitia Casta and I have a one side, romantic, historically charged legacy…and in ways she is the reason for DrunkenStepfather so if you have any lawsuits pending against me – send them her way…

Thanks…

Posted in:Laetitia Casta|SFW

2016

07

Jun

Iggy Azalea in a Bikini of the Day

Iggy-Azalea-Sexy-2

Iggy Azalea is some fake bitch, who annoys me because she tries to generate so much buzz around herself and it is irritating, all while pushing some bullshit storyline of being some poor Australian stripper, something most people probably believe but the real story is probably that she had her student visa and got her green card after signing a record deal with some dude she was probably banging – because he figured they could make her white ass a white rapper ear rapist…and I guess they pulled it off – since she exists…

And she’s in a bikini on a boat, so I’ll post it because I have a sickness – but don’t think I like it…

IGGY-1

Posted in:Iggy Azalea|SFW