SFW Archives - Page 989 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

06

Jan

Ashley Benson Acknowledges What I’ve Been Saying All Along of the Day

I’ve been calling Ashley Benson fat since I first saw her in Spring Breakers, where I said “Shit, they really went authentic on this one, in a little cinema verite, rocking’ chubby thick college girls in shorts that are too short for her, because that’s what college girls look like”….

I’m old school, and feel like her “size 2” is a walmart size 2, they call them vanity sizes, like Jessica Simpson at her fattest was a size 3, bullshit..

People actually get mad at me for calling this one fat, but apparently Hollywood feels the same way as me…and so does Ashley Benson…

“I was just told I was too fat for a part. I’m a size 2! I cried for 30 minutes, but then you have to let it roll off your shoulders or it could cause a serious eating disorder. A lot of people in this industry hear they need to lose weight more times than they should. It does make you stronger, though. Because if you let that affect you. You can’t be in this industry, you’d go crazy.”

But she’s a new generation, social justice warrior, who is body positive and will fight the evil that is health and fitness and celebrate the donut like she was Kate Upton….

I’d still fuck her big tits because I know that big tits come with sloppy legs…and sloppy everything else…

I am into these randomly famous from a popular show young girls…but more importantly, I guess I want to say, I told you so…

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Padma Lakshmi Billionaire Bikini Life of the Day

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Padma Lakshmi, is an Indian celebrity chef, who is only a celebrity chef because she is hot, and navigated her way to relevance via the men that she fucked…..

She was married to a 80 year old billionaire, before getting pregnant with another Billionaire’s kid, while pretending it was the 80s year old billionaire’s kid, so that when he died the kid would get his fortune as his sole heir, and after he died, she’d reveal the real father of her kid is another billionaire, to double dip, as it wouldn’t void the first billionaire money as he was dead and the family would have to go through an extensive legal battle with her…

She’s got abs, but is actually 50 years old….and a mom…because looking good made her matter, because insiders I know say she can’t even fucking cook…

She’s traveling the world…in a bikini and posting pics…so here it is…her winning at life thanks to her pussy and just a little Slumdog millionaire street smarts…

Posted in:Padma Lakshmi|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Natasha Oakley Booty of the Day

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Natasha Oakley is not the daughter of Oakley sunglasses, but she’s still living the billionaire life…

I know at least one person who has either had sex with her or her business partner…that she started an instagram account with many years ago…

It wasn’t a genius concept at all, it was really a “people love bikini pics, let’s post a bikini pic everyday, and we will get followers”….

So instead of being fame whores individually, they decided to be famewhores together, and build their project together…rather than build their individual accounts apart…and in doing that they became beach/bikini masters, the authorities, the bloggers getting paid millions…to take fucking bikini pics…

They were never that hot, never meant to be bikini models, but they were relatable, had big tits, and people followed…now they get ad campaigns…and have their own celebrity to their own massive audience…

All it took was wearing a bikini everyday..

Well, here’s her ass, it’s round and juicy…

Posted in:Natasha Oakley|SFW

2016

05

Jan

Stella Maxwell’s Nude Pic on Instagram of the Day

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Stella Maxwell, the once was a hipster model from the UK, now is a Victoria’s Secret model, because I guess she’s accessible to the younger market they are trying to market to, with her being a social media personality, hanging out with other models, and the Kardashians….fingering banging, or being finger banged by Miley….and posting nude pics on instagram with quotes like:

“You gotta have style. It helps you get down the stairs. It helps you get up in the morning. It’s a way of life. Without it, you’re nobody. I’m not talking about lots of clothes.”

Inspiring…I mean it worked out for her…maybe her advice is what you are missing…and what this picture is missing is her grabbing and spreading her ass cheeks…it makes the whoring more obvious.

Posted in:SFW|Stella Maxwell

2016

05

Jan

Jennifer Lawrence is Getting Slutty for Glamour of the Day

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I once asked a Hollywood executive why Jennifer Lawrence got booked for all the jobs and he smiled and said “if you saw her first movie, the one she was nominated for an Academy Award for at 15, you’ll see she’s just got it…a natural talent”…

That is code for “she makes us a lot of money”….

Prior to her sexting scandal that no one really cared about, I just thought she was quirky, awkward, boring…overrated…all the good stuff…but then I saw her tits and I got won over…and figure if she’s getting paid all this fucking money to be in movies, she should contractually be obligated to spread her asshole in at least one scene…that’s where she really excels.

The nice thing about celebrity now, is that people are flimsy and can ruin careers overnight, giving us hope that one day, the only movies she get will involve spread asshole scenes..

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW

2016

05

Jan

Ronda Rousey Body Painted for Sports Illustrated of the Day

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The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit editor – MJ DAY, posted this picture of a booty that is body painted, as a glimpse into their issue…

They try to keep the pics “Secret”…to keep hype up for the February magazine that I would argue has no real purpose in this day and age, where all these girls do bikini photoshoots with more concept and creativity….and better photographers…all the fucking time…

But she kept Rousey’s tattoo in the pic….of a body painted ass….SPOILER ALERT…

I would argue, that bikini and body painted girls are cheesy, fun, half naked, worth looking at, but there there’s just nothing exciting about any of these girls, that justify a magazine issue that really carries the brand, when the bikini content is being done on the fucking regular..there is no need for the magazine that covers it….But no one cares what I fucking think…

It’s just that back when SI Swim started, it was a masturbatory special feature for subscribers of the Sports magazine, featuring models in bikinis, when you could jerk off bikini pics because you didn’t have access to porn. It was sporty, featured athlete wives, introduced us to hot models when Social Media didn’t exist, but now, we already follow these model sluts who just want the SI stamp to charge more in their escorting….and celebrating a couple of Athletes, despite being a sports magazine that should only be on Athletes and not girls trying to get pregnant by Athletes…because Athletes aren’t always hot in bikinis, even though this Athlete, Ronda Rousey’s ass looks ok, when you take out the shoulders and factor in that those legs could choke you out when wrapped around your neck as you eat her dick clit out…

Posted in:Ronda Rousey|SFW

2016

05

Jan

Kelly Rohrbach is the New Pam Anderson of the Day

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A video posted by @kellyrohrbach on Jan 4, 2016 at 11:26am PST

Convenient day for Kelly Rohrbach to announce her A List break-up that never was…

Kelly Rohrbach was clever enough to date Leonardo DiCaprio publicly, even though she likely didn’t ever date Leonardo DiCaprio, but rather just fucked him as he fucked other girls, she as just the one clever enough to say “make me public girl number 1″…until she cast CJ Parker in Baywatch, also known as Pam Anderson, perfect for a blonde with big tits with celebrity ties, who hung out in the right circle, who will probably help destroy this idea of Baywatch as a redux for something that didn’t need a redux….because it was a late night show, we used to jerk off to…before internet porn…nor really something we were emotionally tied into because of the story…

Either way, the rumor is she and Leo are broken up, she looks so devastated by it, mainly because it never happened…and she’s on her own hustle..

I am just glad Pam Anderson didn’t try to take the role back…and more importantly…I am glad they didn’t go with Charlotte McKinney or Emrata…..since they are clearly bottom feeding producers…with bottom feeding ideas speaking to low tier bros in their 40s…that would have made sense…but instead they did Sports Illustrated model…for the win..

I guess what I am saying is big tits chicks are interchangeable, have no sustainability, so make those tits count when you can…

Hookers.

A video posted by @kellyrohrbach on Jan 4, 2016 at 11:44am PST

More….

A video posted by @kellyrohrbach on Jan 4, 2016 at 11:38am PST

Here are some pics of her in bikini…because that’s her thing…

To See Where Pam Anderson is At…Here she is on New Years Eve…

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2016

05

Jan

Ava Sambora Brings Out the Tits of the Day

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18 year old bikini selfie….because magazines and photographers may not care about her…but instagram does….

Ava Sambora is probably a damaged rich kid, who is now 18, so not creepy for you to jerk off to, even if she looks like a 15 year old trying to be slutty for her instagram, in efforts to get famous like a Kardashian…

You know that being Richie Sambora’s Bon Jovi daughter with hooker/ model / actor Heather Locklear…the groupie…means she lives the good life, with people not necessarily prepared for the good life, or being parents really, because they never had to grow up as life just fucking happened for them, too into themselves and lazy to really instill good values, but rich enough to give her everything, including but not limited an ego..entitlement and with social media the way it is, a need to have the most damn followers she can…via half naked bikini pics…solid.

Posted in:Ava Sambora|SFW

2016

05

Jan

Anne Hathaway has a Hard Pregnant Nipple of the Day

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I am blown away by dudes I meet who are into pregnancy porn, or ready to drop porn, or who say that pregnant women, with their weird parasites growing in their pussy region, for 9 months before being shat out of their vagina, only to ruin their pussy, and really their bodies, along with the rest of their fucking life…their freedom, their happiness, everything…

I mean, I guess there is a bit of an LOL in fucking another dude’s pregnant wife, you know just because it brings that “omg she’s such a fucking slut, she’s cheating on her husband, while she has his baby in her”…level of amazing that I experience everytime I fuck a married women…

I am also blown away by dudes I meet who talk about Anne Hathway like she’s hot…but here she is in a bikini top with a hard nipple…it does nothing to me, but I’m impotent and have low testosterone. She looks bloated, like she eats alot, like her shits are disgusting, all while whining….about her pregnancy symptoms…making me look at her with deep rooted hatred and normally I feel zero…it’s all part of being a psychopath.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Anne Hathaway|SFW

2016

05

Jan

New Star Wars Chick in a Bikini of the Day

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I like this pussy forward, pelvic thrust by Daisy RIDLEY.

I am the only person who hasn’t seen Star Wars, I hate Star Wars…but I do know that Han Solo dies, that’s fucking internet for ruining everything…not that I care that he dies, as far as I’m concerned he died back when he married Ali McBeal….I am not much of a spoiler alert, spoiler, I am just spoiled, and if you’re an actual star wars fan, you’ve already seen the shit and know dude’s dead…unless you’re reading this from prison. In which case…sucks to be you…please don’t make a point of killing me…like you were Steve Avery..

Either way, her name is Daisy Ridley, she’s the new Natalie Portman or Carrie Fisher, who will no be able to have a career outside of Star Wars..or who now has the most lucrative of careers because of Star Wars…seeing as before Star Wars…she didn’t even have a fucking agent…

I guess she’s in the illuminati…makes sense..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Daisy Ridley|SFW

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