SFW Archives - Page 1000 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

21

Dec

Jessica Alba in a Bikini of the Day

Jessica Alba posted this bikini picture on her snapchat…because she’s an executive who runs a billion dollar company….and figure she might as well go tits first for her fans that aren’t mom’s buying fake organic product, but rather dudes who still jerk off to her from when she was a big, uncelebrated but well paid movie star…where she played the hot girl…because despite being a Mexican…she was a hot girl…and I guess still is, 2 kids in, doing anything she can to get in the media, even low level titty flashes, because i guess it’s good for business..and sells more stupid product in what is crunch time for all businesses..especially ones heavily dependant on this bitch’s celebrity….a celebrity they just had to give 20% and a title to so that she felt like a real business woman in those meetings, while we all know the business is obviously carried by other people…because ALba’s too busy doing yoga, being a mom, and posting tit pics.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Khloe Kardashian’s Anus By the Pool of the Day

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You have to ask yourself what kind of monster would self produce a picture like this of themselves…and put it out to her fans…asshole first…

Khloe Kardashian saying she’s never old to try to get into the family business of showing her ass and making million for just mooning the world…which would normally be a rude fuck you…but in this case it’s a “give them a tv show, give them a lot of millions of dollars, for each of them, even though they are garbage”…

I can say one of the last things I’ve ever wanted to see is a Khloe Kardashian asshole…and I love asshole…she’s the monster child of OJ Simpson and Kris Kardashian…who no one cared about, but who now works out and assumes people care…but that asshole has seen some shit…literally…more shit than the average asshole…an asshole like a man asshole…probably bleached and lasered by still really fucking terrifying…

You all know as well as I do…these are the worst people and represent all that is wrong in the world….

The ongoing joke is that this is her campaign for L’Oreal…but I guess this could be any Kardashian, even Kanye….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Amanda Seyfried for Madame Figaro of the Day

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Amanda Seyfried is one of my favorites. I don’t know why, I should hate her for taking out Lindsay Lohan, my previous favorite, like it was some kind of wrestling match I couldn’t masturbate to, but try to masturbate to in my mind, despite never really getting fully hard…I’m too old and lazy for that…and gave up on full erections when I was 25 thanks to cocaine and alcoholism…

I should hate her for dating Justin Long for a long time, because that guy just annoys me and not in a “I hate any dude who fucks famous chicks I don’t know but pretend are my dream girls”…like so many of you dudes who read this shit…he’s just a fucking annoying character and she could be better used by other annoying characters in hollywood who aren’t Justin Long…

I should also hate her for being boring, lazy, unshowered in the media, but then she puts out movies she’s naked in and has these awesome tits and fit little body that fuck her public image of slacking who doesn’t do herself up or give a fuck, because that usually means bush even though she’s probably had laser to handle her laziness..and still ensuring getting casting couches…..

But I just find her body and face so good and here she is for Madame Figaro.

.

Posted in:Amanda Seyfried|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Hailey Baldwin for Love Magazine Advent of the Day

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I don’t really know when the turning point for these famous kids were, you know where they went from being socialites who just do drugs and fuck a lot, to actually getting paid to be at events, to endorse products, while being considered “models”….it’s pretty fucking bootleg and I hate any brand or company that uses them to leverage their own campaigns because they have followings…because it is low hanging fruit, bottom feeding, lame…and perpetuating this nonsense..

I have been seen Hailey Baldwin in person…I didn’t even fucking notice her, and when told who she was I didn’t even remember who she was, yes I was drunk, but I didn’t give a fuck and either would you, because there are actual hot models and hot girls in the world, some bratty entitled rich kid who knows her angles in her selfies and who hangs out with Beiber and Kardashians is hardly something to support…

Here she is kissing the camera in Love Magazines’ anti-Christmas advent calendar the features every fame whore around…half naked…

FUck these idiots..

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|Love Magazine|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Drones Performing Swan Lake of the Day

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I don’t know what you know about Ballet, or if you’re the culturally connected person who is into the artform and really breaks down at the beauty of how fluid and artistic this normally Russian communist trained to be the best dancers, forced to be skinny girls are…..

But Swan Lakes, not the Nutcracker, at least not for Christmas, but Swan Lake is being performed by dancers, strategically blocked out by drones, in what is really interesting to look at, because I like all things naked, as long as it’s not me or my wife naked, but it can be pretty much anyone else naked….even when I can’t see the spread, dancing, pussy…because I know a dancer’s body is nimble, agile, lean and so good at riding cock…and in this porn up, throat fucking world….it is a nice change of pace…

So get some culture in your life, but trying to jerk off to this mainly dude ass choreography..

Posted in:Dance|SFW|Videos

2015

21

Dec

Aubrey O’Day Bare Booty of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day the girl who got on Diddy’s show and had sex with Diddy despite being married or at least with the mother of his twins…in what was a little thick white girl trying to get some security in her celebrity that was barely celebrity…by getting that payroll for life these sugar babies pull off in their sugary babying if they play it smart…but instead her band created by Diddy pretty much fell apart and so did Aubrey O’Day…as she got fatter and fatter…hoping to get more and more famous in the hip hop world…as hip hop love fat white chicks who look and dance like sex workers…only for some reason it didn’t really go anywhere for her….

So she got into fitness, worked out hard, got fit as fuck…and people still didn’t care about her….so in fame whoring as fame whores who were once always talked about do….so put on her bare ass pants…clever…

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Karreuche Tran’s in a Bikini of the Day

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It seems like everyone is going Tran and not in a good way, I have 3 people on my facebook who weren’t even gay, I’m talking parents with kids, who are making the transition and it doesn’t really make sense to me, but as someone who jerks off to girls, more than I jerk off to guys, I guess the glitch in the matrix makes sense from some weird perspective….

I was with a couple old fags, you know the bitter 50 year old drunk, coked up queens who hate the new generation homo as much as you do, because they didn’t have to get gay bashed to enter their little sexual deviant club…and they were shitting on TRANS more than TRANS people probably let straight married guys shit on them…since TRANS porn is the highest selling category in porn…to straight people…because you’re all a bunch of faggots..

That said, this Karreuche Tran is not necessarily a trans, she could be, black rappers fucking love chicks with dicks, because they can beat them up without the backlash like they had with Rihanna…”This one’s a dude, I swear”…You see what I did there…

But she is in a bikini, like TRANS want so bad to make happen, and her name is TRAN, and the only person who’s last name I knew that was TRAN was Vietnamese, and Vietnam is the hub for Lady Boys and sex tourism…making it all make fucking sense..

Don’t doubt my fucking logic assholes…here she is in a BIkini

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Karreuche Tran|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Sophie Simmons Grabs Huge Tits of the Day

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I guess Sophie Simmons is one of those dying for Attentiom, probably doesn’t have real friends, is neglected by her father who is too into his business and her mother who is too into her own existence as a Hollywood mom…because she hires people to take pictures of her in erotic enough settings…and there’s always something weird about a chubby trust fund girl paying photographers to take slutty pics of her…it’s even a little desperate…

But I guess not as desperate as posting topless, or semi topless, slutty instagram whoring pics to the internet…in her quest to figure out her purpose and existence in the world knowing she never has to work…her dad, Gene Simmons is practically a billionaire….that makes her an heir to that…

Apparently, she’s going to acting classes, she was already on TV once before being forgotten, so it’s only natural for an LA kid to value fame as something that can’t be bought, when everything else can, even though fame can be bought…and really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of the world, but their heads are so up their own asses..they don’t realize that…and I guess since her tits are the size of my head…I’ll encourage it…even though I never really cared for KISS…but I could still let KISS’s sperm’s creation KISS up on my dick in pics..I’m easy like that. I’m such a whore…

Posted in:SFW|Sophie Simmons

2015

21

Dec

Demi Lovato in Sex of the Day

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Here’s a Youtube video featuring pictures of Demi Lovato and her boyfriend Fes from That 70s show making out in St Barths as people do for the paparazzi when they want to be talked about…

I don’t know why they want to be talked about, or maybe it’s just Demi Lovato trying to promote her thick body and celebrate it in a “Look, I can keep my man, despite being fat”…because she’s like a lesbian and he’s like a homo and the two combined probably fuck everyone..why else would they keep this alive…

I don’t like or care about Demi Lovato…I couldn’t tell you one of her J.Lo inspired “Cater to latinas and fat chick because they are loyal and it means you don’t have to work out”…songs…

But they exist…and she makes bank…so YAY!…

Posted in:Demi Lovato|SFW

2015

21

Dec

Pam Anderson and Miley Cyrus Save Whales in Vancouver Concert Together of the Day

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It’s hard to get excited over anything that Pam Anderson is involved in, she’s old, she’s tired, her breasts are still stupid looking, and I was done jerking off to her in the late 90s….

Luckily she had Miley Cyrus to help carry her in hometown concert, these Canadians never fully capable of leaving their maple Syrup sucking ways..especially after being cured of Hepatitis..not that that is related, but it means she’s not dead yet and in not being dead…why not walk around Miley’s show in a one piece to discuss issues like saving the whales…a cause I support..becuase Marine Mammals are fucking amazing..even when Pam Anderson is not…

But I guess the point of her doing this was to draw attention to herself, she knows as well as us that hse’s old and not what she was, she has to look at all the wrinkles and new discoveries of aging everyday – before getting plastic surgery to try ot fix it…

And why not do it with Miley, a lost girl just trying to find her voice, her place and doing it in the silliest, sexualized, fun way….

Good times, but irrelevant times.