SFW Archives - Page 988 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2016

07

Jan

Alana Blanchard in Lingerie for Stab of the Day

Alana Blanchard is some surf chick from the 1990s, who I guess used to get noticed because her best friend was eaten by a shark, and when you’re the bikini next to the one-armed Jesus freak, the spotlight catches a bit of you and people say “who’s the chick with two arms, she’d be way better at giving double handjobs than one arm, plus she won’t always talk about having one arm, and the story, and the fear, in the most annoying way you know one-arm does”….and instead she’ll probably talk about how she’s using a handicapped girl for her personal gain…which is awesome…HANDICAPPED USERS HAVE NO SOULS….

Apparently they get half naked for photoshoots in lingerie, on some low level Glamour model shoot, with their Fiance or boyfriend or husband, giving it the cheesy Sears portrait, even low grade “I’m pregnant in love’ tackiness people do…

But there’s something about the winter that fucking sucks and I call it the freezing cold, being snowed in, hibernating with my shitty fat wife who has been stocking up on food for the last decade to make her fatter than a pile of shit to insulate her in our damp basement apartment…

A wife that I should shoot a romantic glamour shoot like this with…because it’d be hysterical…where this is just fucking weird.

Nice fake tits though, better surf ass…these are from 6 months ago…

Posted in:Alana Blanchard|SFW

2016

07

Jan

Nicola Peltz Crotch Shot of the Day

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It always fascinates me when a rich kid uses her trust fund or allowance for good not evil. You see if my father was a billionaire who I knew I was going to inherit all the money from, I don’t think I would do much more than sleeping, fucking, and getting fucked up until dying a premature death…or at least trying to spend every last penny of my father’s fortune with private jets and instagram hookers who want in on that…

I would not be on instagram, showing my ass, or pussy in panties…basically crying for attention, or begging for friends and follows, in the most basic way…

That doesn’t mean I mind when billionaire booty does this kind of thing, I mean this type of thing is important to our existence, however, I do think it’s a little low hanging…

Let’s see what her dad thinks of it:

Based on that, I’ll assume he loves it, because he worked so hard and as a Jewish man, he clearly likes to have a good time with good looking women he can buy…so why want anything less for his daughter than to be that good looking woman rich men want to buy…or maybe he doesn’t even notice her….like most of the rest of the world…I mean she was in transformers once…who cares…crotch shot!

Posted in:Nicola Peltz|SFW

2016

07

Jan

AMy Schumer’s Furniture Designer’s New Marketing Plan of the Day

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I am a man and as a man I know that dudes have a capability to fuck anything…even the most disgusting of woman will have no problem getting a dick inside her….and some dudes just think it’s better than jerking off…or they are drunk….

So I have never been surprised when lifesize, broken face, disgusting body, even if she’s positive about her body, because I am also positive about her body, positive that it’s disgusting…

I’m not even going to get into her overrated and celebrated comedy that is making her a ton of fucking money and that people are eating up because it’s gone viral and she’s eating it up….because this is what she’s always wanted to prove to the world…

What I’m saying is that she’s garbage, and this dude pretending to love her realizes that, everyone realizes that, no one is really as stoked on her as the media lets on, especially not when it comes to fucking her, and if dudes out there actually fantasize about her broad, gross body, it’s safe to say they have a sexual disfunction, like they are the same guy who will fuck a farm animal..

Point of the story being, that this dude, is K-Fedding her. When you’re a furniture designer, who wants to get publicity, draw attention to your designs you’ve worked so hard on, and sell at high price tags, finding a fat rich chick who clearly no one has ever loved, even when using her as a cum rag in their masturbation that they eventually threw in the wash and forgot was ever a cum rag, because she was so keen on love, that it got annoying even if she let them fuck her up the ass on command, like a lost fucking puppy….

I know that there’s not enough alochol in the world to keep anyone happy fucking a monster…unless of course that monster is rich, famous and good for business, because she’s never had a boyfriend before and is so excited by it that she’ll promote the fuck out of the dude…

And I bed the dude pretends that he doesn’t want the publicity….BECAUSE HE WANTS THE PUBLICITY….like a sugar baby offering to pay for her dinner the first 4 dates to make the rich guy think SHE’S NOT IN IT FOR THE MONEY…

You’re all fucking stupid.

Posted in:Amy Schumer|SFW

2016

07

Jan

Sahara Ray’s Big Instagram Tits of the Day

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Sahara Ray’s first big topless shoot was a few years ago for a hipster pervert photographer named Purienne , for Lui, who was an instagram photographer before instagram, you know so he’s more legit than the other instagram models, because he probably uses an actual camera and knows how to take an actual picture, rather than just filtering the fuck out of a fucking picture…

Doesn’t matter…

Sahara Ray has this massive tits, and has gone onto be some crackhead, anorexic, big titty, Emily Ratajkowski, instagram model, who makes serious fucking money, and now she’s in Sugar Baby, LA Based, owned by rich guys who love instagram models, TREATS!

Showing tits, you’ve already seen….but she’s got over 1,000,000 followers…so she is obviously very very very important…

I don’t think she’s that interesting, but naked chicks….are naked chicks…you know…

Posted in:Sahara Ray|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Magical Lindsay Lohan Topless and Covered in Mud of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan should be all of your spirit animals…because she’s a magical creature sent from heaven, covered in mud, topless….in recovery – but still broken…just the way I like them…and you should too.

The only tragedy in this, is not her life, her parents exploiting her and robbing her of her childhood…it is her lack of nipples.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Emily Ratajkowski Spread Leg Bikini Pic of the Day

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I wonder if Emily Ratajkowski senses that the end is near for a talentless girl with big tits…because the world just doesn’t give a fuck about her, she’s never done anything interesting that we could really get emotionally attached to, and in instead just an interchangeable set of tits, who will only get cast in movies, which is her objective, because the casting director is too lazy to dig a little deeper…and figure “she’s got a lot of followers thanks to her tits, she can’t be all that bad an option”…

I am convinced that 2016 will be the year that the 1000s of other girls just as hot as Emily Ratajkowski, overshadow Emily Ratajkowski….because tits are just tits…when they don’t do much more than this…laying in a bikini….

I mean fake or not, relevant or not, talented or not, cool or interesting or not…that’s a serious fucking body…weird belly button at all…but it’s still older than it was, more tired than it was, as lazy as it always was, and we can just google to see her pussy, so why bother with her really…

Because she posts pussy definition and side lip on social media – that I’ve been blocked on – even though she used to email me her photoshoots to post – unappreciative cunt – that’s why.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Christina Milian Gets Her Asshole Waxed of the Day

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In shows you don’t care exist, and by shows I mean whore, Christina Milian’s got a reality show, like a bootleg Kardashian, that I assume no one watches…and in having a reality show, she did the most basic of activities to try to be funny, interesting, real, compelling, sexy, interesting, when having no real vision…and that’s getting her asshole waxed.

It seems like it’s been done before, probably by a Kardashian, because they are hairy and shameless…so it seems uninspired and stupid to me…even if she lets her sister take a shot at waxing her asshole…making things a little more intimate and fetish oriented for hairless asshole fetishists out there…

She’s rich already, she had a hit song and video in the 90s, she was slutty in that video…and it took her to becoming a rich guy’s baby momma…where she wrote songs for pop stars…making her more money…she is the back-up host on a huge show, The Voice…yet no one cares about her…which is about the level of caring she has for her kid, since as a mom who is always in a bikini or partying in Vegas…

Either way, I don’t approve of Christina Milian or her aggresive “make me famous and relevant”..by doing everything she can slutty or not…It’s tacky and boring especially when she’s already rich…just shut the fuck up…

Here are screenshots…what the fuck is this bottleg budget Kardashian bullshit…gor she’s annoying…

Here she is in a bikini – because she’s trying hard to be noticed…

CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Elsa Hosk Trying to Ramp Up Nudity in 2016 of the Day

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Elsa Hosk, the Victoria’s Secret model, who prior to Victoria’s Secret was a signed model because she’s tall, straight from Sweden or some Scandinavian country, and she spent the better part of her early career posing nude for free, to build out that portfolio…

Well look at her now..LOOK AT HER NOW….the tits got the right hits…so all you girls on tinder who I ask for topless pics of…it’s for your own good, your future, your career goals….I am here to help…for free..will work for tit pics..

Well, seeing as she comes from a softcore porn background, it’s only natural that her instagram would be something you could jerk off to…

All girls should look like this…

Posted in:Elsa Hosk|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Bella Thorne the Sports Bra Snapchat of the Day

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Perverts love this trick…and she fucking knows it because she looks 40, is probably 40 and any 40 year old woman you know, will have figured out how men work, especially creepy fucking friends who are into girls who they think are underage…it’s like cocktease those fuckers…whether in workout gear, or more specifically sports bras, filled with her silly tits…

Well, she’s taken the fetish or the cocktease to the next level by introducing “sweating” like she just got fucked or came to the mix…or more interestingly…”Dying”….for the guys who i guess know they’d only be able to fuck her when she’s dead, or at least burnt out so fucking hard that she can’t escape their sexually assault…that they don’t think is sexual assault…because some people are delusional and think the secret or surprise finger bang while the girl is half dead/dead/asleep is what her body wants even when her mind says no…you rapey fucks.

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

06

Jan

Nina Agdal Trying to Ramp Up Nudity in 2016 of the Day

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Nina Agdal is a model who I call Downs Syndrome most of the time, mainly because she’s got this big Danish head….and when I am not doing that, I am calling her a sugar baby, which is code for prostitute, because that’s how all these Sports Illustrated models live the good life….and if I am not talking about that…than I’m saying she’s a drunk asshole who thinks she’s more important than she actually is…a second rate model, high end escort, model who barely models…

But sometimes, usually when naked, in her instagram pics or not…I see the light and get why people pay to fuck her…

Posted in:Nina Agdal|SFW

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