SFW Archives - Page 994 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

30

Dec

Quirky Emmy Rossum’s Awkward Bikini Pic of the Day

Look at those terrified, old, tired, bag filled eyes…it’s like fresh faced doesn’t exist in the world of Emmy Rossum, who like so many other female actors lacks swagger and looks, but we deal with it, because they are the ones getting the jobs…in the shows we watch…in our mindless lives…that we pollute with mindless television…like robots…thanks to it’s addictive nature for population control….

What I’m trying to say is that Emmy Rossum is not hot, naked or not naked, in a bikini or not in a bikini, in a sex scene or not in a sex scene and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are just an idiot who can’t get laid, who has never left the house and who has never been on instagram…because the world is filled with girls who are far hotter..

Sure they aren’t on TV, don’t have sex scenes, but even with that, this Emmy Rossum bitch is so average and boring….even in a bikini top.

Posted in:Emmy Rossum|SFW

2015

30

Dec

The Cast of Pretty Little Liars Slutty Update of the Day

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I don’t watch Pretty Little Liars , but I know it’s a popular show and the girls on the show, have a pretty massive fan base, because I run a blog about these celebrity model bitches, even if I don’t give a fuck and I don’t participate in the scene…or digest their bullshit content…I am too busy sexting…

What I do know is that chubby Ashley Benson’s Got Cleavage of the Day that she was showing off in a photoshoot, and that you can stare at because you like cleavage…even on chubby chicks, especially when they are photoshopped and in black and white so you don’t see anything vile….

I also know that Canadian Shay Mitchell in a Bikini of the Day because she’s got a rocking fucking body, and she wants the world to see it, and talk about it, outside of Pretty Little Liars character, since she’s at that pivotal moment of not being typecast, so that she can continue to work and make money in the industry….it’s like give people jerk off material as Shay Mitchell not as the character she plays…or some shit..

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW|Shay Mitchell

2015

30

Dec

Maria Menounos in a Bikini of the Day

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Maria Menounos is around 40 years old.

The most interesting thing about her is that she is Greek, anal sex loving, because that’s what greeks are into, at least that’s the rumor and I believe all rumors…

The other interesting thing about her is that she made a career as a host on a shitty, targeted to white trash trailer park, on disability people addicted to TV…that she quit…despite being the new Mary Hart…with a fan base, because people really found her hot….only to go onto do nothing substantial or interesting…but she still posts bikini selfies….

Even though, anyone who knows anything about Maria Menounos knows she had a pussy slip in a bikini once….

And no bikini pic she posts will ever be as good, and maybe she just does these new bikini pics as a vehicle or excuse to get people to post those pussy slip bikini pics…who knows….or cares…she’s a virtual fucking no one…and she’s not even that hot…in a world filled with hot girls you have access too on tinder…it’s hard to bother with these idiots..

TO SEE HER PUSSY SLIP IN A BIKINI CLICK HERE

Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Bai Ling’s Words of Wisdom of the Day

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Just when you assumed Bai Ling was some import from Hong Kong who has been here for 20 years, but has no actually purpose to speak, since she’s never had a talking roll in a movie, and god knows she’s tried….it turns out that either she, or her handler, has some very important things to say in her continued fame whoring, despite being 50, but still rocking a hotter body than most…and those words are “Good Vibes Only”….

She’s weird, but she mastered being in the paparazzi without ever mattering, better than any of these instagram models, so in ways….she created instagram….she’s the forefather to that shit…Asians…so advanced..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Bai Ling|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Willa Holland’s Ass Cheek of the Day

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Willa Holland was the teen sister on the OC who I know a bunch of dudes in their 30s probably jerked off to her…she’s also on Arrow…where the same people jerk off to her…socially award weirdos…

She’s been in the industry forever since she was 7, her stepfather, and we love stepfathers because that’s the name of the fucking site and we need to cover all stepfather news, is or was Brian De Palma, a pretty serious director in the 80s…her godfather Steven Spielberg….making it really hard to break through…but more importantly, robbed her of her childhood and probably brought her some solid damaged rich kid issues, and identity crisis, at least we hope it did..

Well, she’s delving into photography, as everyone on instagram is, and she posted a pic of half of her ass, or maybe it is someone elses ass, which is apparently enough ass for me to look at…and post…I’m pretty desperate and pathetic.

Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2015

30

Dec

Taylor Schilling’s See Through bikini of the Day

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Her name is Taylor Schilling and she’s more than just a terrible, weirdly lesbian body, all boxy and flat chested, possibly overly muscular, or just awkwardly fat, in what we used to call “slim fat”…

She’s from the show…Orange is the New Blck…where she probably plays a lesbian…and her bikini is See Through…

So Look, but don’t touch yourself…it may make you gay or into tranny…but you didn’t need a terrible bikini shoot to know that…

What I guess it comes down to is the see through bikini ,who cares what old lady it is on, because I like see through bikini…but more importantly…is Taylor Schilling good enough for Bill Cosby to rape…that’s the new basis or benchmark…or litmus test of whether she matters…because all I’ve heard about today is Bill Cosby this and Bill Cosby that…it’s been the year of Bill Cosby…and I guess by default Jello Pudding pops and Quaaludes.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Taylor Schilling

2015

30

Dec

Kate Upton is Great At Eating for Harper’s Bazaar Singapore of the Day

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“Pose with puppies, they won’t know you’re fat”

Kate Upton is a very large model turned actress who can’t act, but who gets cast in movies, because producers don’t realize that no one actually cares about her, and that she was virally famous on the internet like Tila Tequila got famous on the internet, it’s flimsy, not real, and people aren’t engaged or really that into her, but if her tits are out there, they’ll look “excitedly” at them…enough to click “follow” on social media…

There’s very little exciting about her, even in her nude leaked pics, I was like, “Damn that’s one sloppy bitch, how does she get work”….but I guess when she was freshly 18, and a set of huge tits, before her body caught up with her, she was an interesting biological anomaly.

She’s still got some level of celebrity, this stuff has a legacy or lag, and when you know she should be done, she can still milk it a few more years, and I guess she is, like the cow that she is…not quite ready to be put out to pasture…

And the real impressive thing about her is how magazines and brands edit her photos or shoot her so that she doesn’t look like the Monster she is built like…

In this case, they used puppies…and had her giggling…because when a girl smiles large with puppies, in a lot of clothes, you don’t notice her belly, or in Kate Upton’s case, her massive back…used to support those sloppy tits…

Here are the pics…

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Niykee Heaton “Getting Thick” Because She Knows her Audience of the Day

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Niykee Heaton is pretty much a nobody, but I guess she’s a “social media” star, who got a record deal because of having an audience on Youtube or wherever the fuck she was found by a record label that I think signed her…possibly because they wanted to fuck her…

I guess she figured out her market early on, probably hit up the Hip Hop covers, again I don’t know…

I just know she posts very aggressive, sexually suggestive, fat ass pics on her social media…and that keeps her going…and I guess I also know she’s posting “getting thicker pics”….up on some Aubrey O’Day, white girl for black men, before going back to white men by getting thin, kick…but still deep in the getting thick…

Thick, plus sized, whatever may be in…but I’m a firm believer that thin girls always win, since getting thick can always spiral out of control and end up like Roseanne or whoever the fat girls in the world are these days, I wouldn’t know because they are invisible to me…

She may be low level, barely famous, but there’s something hot about her, mainly because she’s an exhibitionist, and those are the best, especially when you randomly encounter them on tinder…

Posted in:Niykee Heaton|SFW

2015

30

Dec

Torrie Wilson’s Bikini Run of the Day

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Torrie Wilson was a wrestler, but not the kind of wrestler I like, you know the drunk slutty single mother who wants to make the 150 dollar prize money at the local bar mud wrestling event to pay for her babies formula…or the college girl wresler at the bar who is dabbling with lesbianism while drunk for her male audience…while half nakedly grinding up with another girl before tonguing her ass….in a silly drunken stupor….you know because lesbian sex is by definition wrestling…

Torrie Wilson is more of a wrestler who was hired as more of a model or Glamour girl that the WWF threw into the mix to make watching wrestling a less gay experience…for the hicks, inbeds and retards they market to..

Now, Torrie Wilson is running on the beach in a bikini…not quite naked as the Playboy shoot I am pretty sure she did, but am too lazy to google, but still a fit cheesy 90s looking bitch in a bikini which I guess is magical….to her fans..

Posted in:SFW|Torrie Wilson

2015

30

Dec

Big Titty Asian Compilation on Youtube of the Day

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Thanks to McDonalds, Modern Science, New Middle Class in China…the traditionally flat chested Asians are getting bigger fucking tits…which I guess is a fetish, because around this time last year some dude put together this fetish video…that is not flagged on Youtube and that Youtube is making money off of, because every year I like to remind myself that google’s most searched words are always PORN…and that people jerk off to obscure Youtube videos since their wives can’t bust them via their browsing history…and since all these publically traded internet companies…including facebook, tumblr by yahoo, and instagram…is about the fucking pussy…

They just polarized and packaged their product better, and are now worth millions…and like any instagram model will tell you, the brilliance is in being able to turn porn into mainstream without people knowing you’re porn, so you can get the big ad budgets, even though your effect is the same…

Pussy be EVERYWHERE…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

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