Tit Archives - Page 4 of 4 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2008

11

Mar

Mischa Barton’s Sloppy Tit Shopping of the Day

Here are some pictures of criminal Mischa Barton out shopping with her dog. I guess the irony in this picture is that Mischa is the fucking dog and the dog is actually cute. Not that I know what irony is, but I assume it’s that.

She’s a sloppy mess who was at her hottest while playing a dead puking girl in the Sixth Sense that Haley Joel Osmond jerked off on and ever since then it’s all gone down hill for her, but I know some of you freaks like that smell, so here’s her tit busting out of her top.

This post may be shitty, but so am I. I don’t understand how fucking virginal the internet is for getting excited about seeing a bitch’s tit from the side. They’ve even go as far to call it Sideboob, like the fuckin’ thing’s got a name, and if that doesn’t scream, I’ve never felt tits in my life, I guess it screams I’ve also never watched porn, because I am so fucking desensitized from porn, that the only thing that turns me on is watching the fuckin’ news, or maybe sometimes when I see a dudes get shit on by a juggling midget, but that’s only because I want to hate fuck Hayden Panettiere.

Maybe I am weird, but I am also hungover, I just woke up and the last thing I want to be doing is writing about some useless bitch’s tits. So fuck yourself. I love you. I am bi-polar like that.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Tit

2007

19

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Hot Tit of the Day

1 Comment »

I love Lohan and I love her tits. I am not sure why, because I don’t find her that hot, but for some reason I decided to stalk her years ago and since then have wanted to K-Fed her. It probably won’t ever happen, because I am lazy and she’s pretty much untouchable but it’s a good idea in theory.

The good news is that she has no standards either and is dating some fat snowboarding cunt that no one’s ever heard of who was left his fiance to starfuck Lohan, without realizing that Lohan will be onto the next dick as soon as it falls inside her unprotected. Leaving him alone, heart broken and HIV Positive.

I found his fiance that he left for Lohan and tried to convince her to work with me on destroying this couple, because I have personal interest in seeing this never amount to anything. This is what I wrote her:

i run drunkenstepfather.com. I’ve been stalking lohan for years and I am capable of ruining lives through my site. We could do some SERIOUS damage if you’re up for it…it will be funny.

Let me know because I would totally marry you or be your rebound if it mean good publicity and let’s face it, it’s not like you’re getting married to anyone else anytime soon. Think about it.

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She never answered back.

Check Out The Fiance’s Myspace

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures
Lohan’s Hard Nipples in a T-Shirt in Rehab
Lohan Pickin Her Wedgie and Showing Off Her Tits in a Bikini
Lohan Tits in a White Bikini

Posted in:Boob|cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tit|Unsorted

2007

19

Oct

I am – Lindsay Lohan's Hot Tit of the Day

No Comments »

I love Lohan and I love her tits. I am not sure why, because I don’t find her that hot, but for some reason I decided to stalk her years ago and since then have wanted to K-Fed her. It probably won’t ever happen, because I am lazy and she’s pretty much untouchable but it’s a good idea in theory.

The good news is that she has no standards either and is dating some fat snowboarding cunt that no one’s ever heard of who was left his fiance to starfuck Lohan, without realizing that Lohan will be onto the next dick as soon as it falls inside her unprotected. Leaving him alone, heart broken and HIV Positive.

I found his fiance that he left for Lohan and tried to convince her to work with me on destroying this couple, because I have personal interest in seeing this never amount to anything. This is what I wrote her:

i run drunkenstepfather.com. I’ve been stalking lohan for years and I am capable of ruining lives through my site. We could do some SERIOUS damage if you’re up for it…it will be funny.

Let me know because I would totally marry you or be your rebound if it mean good publicity and let’s face it, it’s not like you’re getting married to anyone else anytime soon. Think about it.

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

She never answered back.

Check Out The Fiance’s Myspace

Related Posts:

Lohan’s Hot Tits in a Blue Dress Pictures
Lohan’s Hard Nipples in a T-Shirt in Rehab
Lohan Pickin Her Wedgie and Showing Off Her Tits in a Bikini
Lohan Tits in a White Bikini

Posted in:Boob|cleavage|Lindsay Lohan|Tit|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Beyonce Tit Flash on Stage of the Day

5 Comments »

Here’s a video of Beyonce performing. Her dress somehow flies up and you can see her tit for a split fucking second and the only reason I know this is because someone emailed it to me. I watched the video 5 times and didn’t see the tit but then again my brain works a little slower than a computer programming loser who spent the last 4 hours playing it over and over to get the perfect frame so that he can bust nut to it. I assume that computer programmer was you and that this is old news so that I can move on in about a minute to try to find things to post with a little more substance than this, or at least shit that you can actually make out the nipple in, because if you’re going to post tit slips, you might as well post tit slips people can actually see, not some kind of video that you need to speak binary code to decipher…

Posted in:Beyonce|Concert|flash|Tit|Unsorted

2007

09

Aug

I am – Britney Swims Topless of the Day

7 Comments »

So this is probably old news but it’s new to me because I didn’t log onto a computer for more than 5 minutes every couple of days to check emails and to learn that the only people who care about me are spammers. I barely got any emails asking me to come back to the site, I barely got emails telling me the site is amazing, I got no emails from people offering me money or sex, so a month vacation is long enough for me to know I am still a loser. So as a loser, I have no choice but to post some pictures of Britney swimming topless with some K-Fed motherfucker who I think is K-Fed.

The reality of this shit is that once you get pussy the first time, you’ve already done all the hard work and it’s easier to get it again rather than getting new pussy. In K-Fed’s case, it may not have been so hard to get Britney in the first place because she was this lonely retarded girl who had been devirginized by Timberlake and whose only friends were her dancers and as the only straight dancer, K-Fed had some major advantage in getting her cunt, knocking her up and setting up his retirement plan, but that’s not the point.

The point is that recycling pussy you’ve already landed is easier than landing more new pussy, especially for someone like you who has only landed the pussy of lonely broken down and abused chicks who hate themselves and use fucking as a way to make themselves feel wanted for the 2 minutes you last and sometimes finding them again is as easy as making a call, sending an email, driving down the block she worked before the drug overdose or showing up to pick up your kids for your monthly deadbeat dad visit that ends with you in the pool naked with the slut you knocked up.

The real issue is that I don’t know what I am saying, I am pretty jet lagged and refuse to re-read my posts. Cuddles.

Related Posts

I am – Britney Spears Public Tit Flash of the Day
GO

I am – Britney Spears Pillsbury Dough Ass of the Day
GO

I am – Britney Spears Pole Dance of the Day
GO

2007

03

Aug

I am – Billie Piper Side Boob and Near Nip-Slip of the Day

2 Comments »

Billie Piper

I got home in the wee hours from my make-out and martini bender (i already told you about it). I decided I should probably put a lil something in the belly because I don’t want ulcers (my Korean ex-roomate got ulcers from being a party-slut legend on both sides of the ocean). Since I was fucking wrecked and could barely walk straight, I thought the boy shorts I use as underwear were a fine choice for running out into the street and stumbling into the bodega a block away (seriously, these shorts shrunk so much in the wash they can’t even pass as daisy dukes). I also thought the T-shirt I sleep in didn’t need a bra, even though it’s so old it’s see-through.

Me and my camel-toe bought some wheat thins. I could tell the Chinese dude behind the counter was a little shocked, not by the fact that i was half naked and nippley, but by the fact that i wasn’t buying a 40 of Corona, which is what i usually do when i visit his fine cash-only shit-shack. I lost a $2 flip-flop on the way home, but didn’t care since a shoe that can’t stay on my foot when I am hammered isn’t worth having. I don’t mind going partially barefoot because i don’t mind riding bareback, which i plan on doing this weekend, and you just might get to hear about it.

This morning i arrived an hour late to work and threw up in the bathroom. This party slut diet is working wonders, but i hate puking. I am still feeling a little drunk and hungover, but at least I remembered to button my shirt before i showed up to work, unlike this Brit actress Billie Piper on the set of her new movie (whatever that is). Billie was Rose Tyler on “Doctor Who.” Now go fantasize about playing doctor with Billie. Imagine giving her a breast exam.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE

Posted in:Billie Piper|Nip Slip|Tit|Unsorted

2007

26

Jun

I am – Britney Spears Tit in Public of the Day

1 Comment »

I bet you feel like an idiot for thinking this whore had fake tits. I think it’s pretty clear that she’s stacked like a fat 13 year old girl who just got her period. Shit’s not made of silicone, it’s made of donuts and loose skin from once being filled with milk.

I had so many different things to write about today, I was sleeping and so much shit came to me that I was dreaming about how inspired I was, I had at least 10 amazing stories that I didn’t write down so I am drawing a fucking blank and that’s probably one of the most frustrating things in doing this site.

If more girls were like Britney, I’d be spending a lot more time in the changing room at stores around the city. There was a time when I’d get drunk with my friends in the morning and we’d have no where to go so we’d hit the mall and watch girls buy lingerie, bikinis, and shit like that. I never saw tit slips but I was escorted out of the mall by security after they got too many complaints from stores. It took them about a month to catch onto me though.

Seeing Britney stage a tit slip and not being able to jerk off to it because it’s not hot enough for you is pretty depressing. Not that I could have really jerked off to it with my not being able to get it up issue, but you know what I mean. There was a time when this was the fantasy of many, but now that it’s out there it’s not as good as you’d want it to be making the fantasy over. It’s like bringing home that hot chick you’ve always wanted, fucking her and finding out that she sucks in bed and did things you couldn’t fucking stand, and now that you’ve done it you never want to do it again, not that you’d know what that feels like, virgin. What it comes down to is that tit is tit and this is expensive tit and we should just appreciate what she’s doing instead of rippin’ into her for not being in her prime anymore, because that is usually happens when chicks have 2 kids.

The paparazzi scare the fuck out of me on this one, this is some climbing up the telephone pole with a telephoto lens creepy voyeur shit that’s got me arrested a few times…and the quality of the picture is so fucking good it doesn’t even look like bitch has a nipple, shit’s so grainy. Either way, I am posting them…

Posted in:Britney Spears|Tit|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Mischa Barton Tit Slip of the Day

116 Comments »

So someone emailed these pictures of Mischa Barton’s tit falling out of her dress and I figured it would be worth posting, not because I think it’s hot, but because this site is all about changing the world one nipple slip at the time and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a celebrity slip as good as this one, not because I think Mischa’s tit is good but because if you’re going to show the world your tit, this is how you do it.

I don’t really know why I bother with the site, I find the whole concept of posting celebrity chicks really fucking lame, I’d love to do something more substantial so that people call me a revolutionary or some shit, but I don’t think that will ever happen, what will happen is that every girl who comes to the site will think I am a virgin who’s never seen a vagina in real life or some kind of fag who is obsessed with Britney Spears and celebrity gossip, I will never reach out to the cool kids or the hot chicks. I want to make this shit rock and roll, but I think I am stuck in the popstar trap…

That said, I kinda feel bad for this girl. She never really got her shit together after her hottest role as the girls who was throwing up under the bed in The Sixth Sense for Haley Joel Osmond…it’s all been downhill since.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Nipple Slip|Tit|Unsorted

2006

16

Jan

Kathy Hilton's Tit

No Comments »

Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have class, that’s the rumor on the street. The problem with having all the money in the world causes severe boredom issues. Boredom that only susides in the form of drug and alcohol abuse, premiscuous sex, prescription pills and wearing clothes that are designed for your fat tits. I think these lacey shirts are either supposed to be worn with a bra or the darker parts are to cover the nipple, however that is made impossible when you are a 50 year old SLAG with nipples the size of tea saucers. Very expensive and luxurious tea saucers.

These pictures were submitted by TaxiDriver

2006

16

Jan

Kathy Hilton’s Tit

4 Comments »

Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you have class, that’s the rumor on the street. The problem with having all the money in the world causes severe boredom issues. Boredom that only susides in the form of drug and alcohol abuse, premiscuous sex, prescription pills and wearing clothes that are designed for your fat tits. I think these lacey shirts are either supposed to be worn with a bra or the darker parts are to cover the nipple, however that is made impossible when you are a 50 year old SLAG with nipples the size of tea saucers. Very expensive and luxurious tea saucers.

These pictures were submitted by TaxiDriver

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