Tits Archives - Page 76 of 79 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

04

Jun

I am – Pamela Anderson in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

Pamela Anderson One Piece Bathing Suit

Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.

I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.

Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.

2007

04

Jun

I am – Some Lohan Personal Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

Lohan Personal Knife and Tit Pictures

Here are some pictures of Lohan showing us all how she is a broken down teenager with major fucking issues. I am talking goth chick who cuts herself, or crazed drug induced psychosis, or just some freaky fucking fetish shit that I don’t fucking understand, but you probably do because you’re a fucking creep….

Speaking of creep, I was on the roof of some bar patio this weekend smoking a cigar next to some Persian chick. This middle aged man started chatting her up and thought that I was trying to move in on his game. I wasn’t really interested because I don’t pick up chicks. I was kickin’ back watching their TV and dude was telling her how I was trying to look down her shirt. I let his bullshit slide the first few times then I took it personally. Reality is, when you are constantly called a fucking creep day in and day out for begging girls on the net to get naked, eventually you either start believing it or become pretty defensive and angry when people say it….

I decided to tell him that he’s got shitty game and that there’s no way that Persian girl will ever let him ride her oil well. That was my Iranian reference of the day. I don’t remember how heated shit got with him, because I lost interest and zoned out to finish smoking my cigar, but I am pretty convinced that the girl was on my side in the end and just wanted him to fuck off because he was the creep….

The point of my story is to never judge a book by its cover. Sure I look like a sleazy fucker and I say sleazy fucking things and I like looking at girls naked and I like checking out their tits and trying to see them naked…okay, maybe I am a creep and you should keep me away from your girlfriends, but I think it should be because they will fall in love with me and not because I will touch them inappropriately, even if I want to.

Lohan on the otherhand is a well oiled machine. Everything she does is strategic and has a team of consultants telling her how to act. I can only assume that these pics of Lohan are staged and bitch isn’t as creepy or intense or morbid as these pictures make her out to be, she’s just full of fucking shit and trying to be hardcore in some cocaine rage. I am convinced that she just sits at home, self medicates, is insane and counts her money while she’s not letting male models cum inside her….the knives are just props to make us all believe her bullshit story…otherwise shit would have never hit the internet. Believing the bullshit is just feeding into the fucking hype that is a little freckled slut for Long Island.

Posted in:Candids|Lindsay Lohan|Tits|Unsorted

2007

28

May

I am – Jenna Jameson on the Runway in a One Piece Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson modeling a one-piece bathing suit for some reason I don’t really understand. I know historically, the one piece bathing suit was designed for girls who had no business wearing a bathing suit to begin with, but you know, people have to have fun and just because they don’t look good in a bikini shouldn’t mean that they shouldn’t go swimming, even though I don’t go swimming in public because I think my stomach is pretty fucking offensive, but I guess I am just a girl about things.

That said, the one piece has started making it’s way back into the public because it’s one of those things where you show too much for so long that when you’re a little covered up it leaves things all mysterious and more to the imagination and shit. So I see how this works for girls at the public pool, but for someone like Jenna Jameson, who we’ve all seen in porn, it’s a little too late for the whole leaving anything to the imagination, except for maybe what she smells like, but that’s something you’ll always have to imagine while sitting at home, dick in hand.

That said, does anyone even jerk off to this chick? She doesn’t get me all hot and bothered and I am wondering why she’s such a success doing what she does, which isn’t saying much because I am convinced any girl can become as big as she did in porn, but the girls who are capable of doing it, have too many morals and values and refuse to fuck on camera….

That said, here she is in a one-piece bathing suit. How many times can I used “that said” in a post…I am aiming for a world record. Cuddles.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Jenna Jameson|Runway|Tits|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard’s Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard's Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Coco’s Showing Off her Tits Again of the Day

58 Comments »

Here are some recent pics of Coco showing off her tits from the Maxim 100 party that went down a day or two ago. I am guessing that she has something coming up that she needs to promote because bitch has taken the time away from her tanning bed to show off what some asshole spent is hard earned money on because she looks like the type of girl who doesn’t really pay for her own implants.

I went to the strippers today and realized that every french girl who strips dates black thugs. I am thinking it’s because they watch the french music channel and see all the nice cars they drive and all the sluts they attract and that ending up with that kind of guy is considered a huge success. One of the girls had cornrows like Rudy on The Cosby Show and was dancing to some fucking aggressive shit that made me want to buy a gun, rob my convenience store and use that money to start running drugs. I am pretty easily influenced, tired of being poor, and even though the bitch with cornrows was a little bottom heavy and liked shaking her ass like she was on YouTube, I’d trade my wife in for her.

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Coco's Showing Off her Tits Again of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some recent pics of Coco showing off her tits from the Maxim 100 party that went down a day or two ago. I am guessing that she has something coming up that she needs to promote because bitch has taken the time away from her tanning bed to show off what some asshole spent is hard earned money on because she looks like the type of girl who doesn’t really pay for her own implants.

I went to the strippers today and realized that every french girl who strips dates black thugs. I am thinking it’s because they watch the french music channel and see all the nice cars they drive and all the sluts they attract and that ending up with that kind of guy is considered a huge success. One of the girls had cornrows like Rudy on The Cosby Show and was dancing to some fucking aggressive shit that made me want to buy a gun, rob my convenience store and use that money to start running drugs. I am pretty easily influenced, tired of being poor, and even though the bitch with cornrows was a little bottom heavy and liked shaking her ass like she was on YouTube, I’d trade my wife in for her.

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Coco's Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are pictures of Coco and Ice T at some event and she brought out her tits. I guess that’s what she’s all about because anyone with tits this big has got to have some serious self esteem issues, the kind of self esteem that usually leaves them smoking crack in some ghetto apartment with some dude covered in garbage who hasn’t moved in 4 days and when he does it’s to beat the fuck out of her…So in a lot of ways she’s a success story for bitches who hate themselves enough to get the biggest fucking implants the plastic surgeon can possibly give her, unless I am wrong and these fucker are real, which could happen because I am no fucking expert on this shit…

Speaking of self esteem, I was sitting at the coffee shop today just as an excuse to leave my apartment and was stuck at a table next to a rich girl and her mom. They were talking about some trip she was about to go on and how expensive it was and how it will be life changing. The girl was wearing a Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day, with spandex pants and when she got up she turned to her mom and asked if her ass looked different. I assumed that it was because she was working out and mustered the confidence to wear spandex for the first time in public, but then she went to the girls at another table, who I assume she knew and asked them the same fucking thing. It was a fat girl gone skinny and overly confident story and I am placing my bets on this trip ending in abortion….

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Coco’s Tits of the Day

2 Comments »

Here are pictures of Coco and Ice T at some event and she brought out her tits. I guess that’s what she’s all about because anyone with tits this big has got to have some serious self esteem issues, the kind of self esteem that usually leaves them smoking crack in some ghetto apartment with some dude covered in garbage who hasn’t moved in 4 days and when he does it’s to beat the fuck out of her…So in a lot of ways she’s a success story for bitches who hate themselves enough to get the biggest fucking implants the plastic surgeon can possibly give her, unless I am wrong and these fucker are real, which could happen because I am no fucking expert on this shit…

Speaking of self esteem, I was sitting at the coffee shop today just as an excuse to leave my apartment and was stuck at a table next to a rich girl and her mom. They were talking about some trip she was about to go on and how expensive it was and how it will be life changing. The girl was wearing a Jewish Girl Outfit of the Day, with spandex pants and when she got up she turned to her mom and asked if her ass looked different. I assumed that it was because she was working out and mustered the confidence to wear spandex for the first time in public, but then she went to the girls at another table, who I assume she knew and asked them the same fucking thing. It was a fat girl gone skinny and overly confident story and I am placing my bets on this trip ending in abortion….

Posted in:Coco|Ice T|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kim Kardashian's Big Ol' Tits of the Day

No Comments »

So now that I’ve seen her tits getting assaulted by some dude in her sex tape, I have no real interest in them. It’s that whole theory that if you don’t give a man sex he’ll keep coming back to you until you do and if you give it out on the first night dude will have got what he wants, will never respect you and date you and will lose most interest in you, until he wants to have sex again….There’s an expression that mother’s tell there daughters that sums it up a lot better than what I said, but it’s not coming to me…

Speaking of coming and useless people in useless videos, here are 2 more emails from that GGW girl, who doesn’t like what I wrote about her on the site. This is what she said:

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:40:47 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im not kidding .. u heard all wrong on that ggw shit … u best delete that
or i am really goin to sue u .. kk cuddles

From: Jannel Szyszka
Subject:
Re:
Date: May 16, 2007 9:41:58 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

im goin to sue YOU for declamation of character …

This was my response:

Jannel,

Thanks for reaching out to me. For the record, what I posted was emailed to me – I quoted it. Nothing I did was illegal. The pictures posted aren’t owned by you. So I don’t think there is any case and there is no such thing as declamation of character, but I know what you were trying to say (defamation).

If you want to write a formal statement with your story, I’ll post it, but until you have a better case, the story is staying up.

In all honesty, you should take the free publicity, I know you’re into getting money for your publicity stunts by issuing lawsuits to asshole video producers who took advantage of you when you got drunk and who made you regret your actions the day you saw it in the DVD, but that’s really not my problem and I haven’t even seen you naked yet or made money of your story, so you’re kinda being unfair here.

Let me know what you’re thinking because I care about you.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I guess law isn’t her strongest subject in school…To see the first email I got from her click THIS LINK