This shit reminds me of the Kelly Clarkson since I’ve been gone song, because I haven’t done the stepLINKS in almost a week. It’s like I’ve been gone for the first time. The consequence of not linking other sites is that they don’t link me and that has killed my traffic but since the site doesn’t make money, I figure that I don’t need any traffic. I’d be really happy just writing for you for the rest of my life, like I was your own personal court jester. The whole traffic thing was all for my ego, I liked bragging to my friends in the park about being the 15,000th biggest website.

I was talking to my lawyer the other day, not because I am having legal problems but because he read that some dude from a site called ebaumsworld makes 10,000,000 dollars a year, has a staff of 30, a book deal and a pilot with Fox all lined up. I wanted to say that it would be nice if those same people gave me a little love. I don’t need a book deal, I’d be happy with a line of cocktail napkins that say random quotes of mine. I don’t need 10,000,000 dollars or book/tv deals, I’d be happy with $10,000 to pay off my debt. Get on it…thanks in advance….cuddles….tell your friends….I just made your famous, bitch…. You get the idea.

PS – The guy in the picture has beef with me because I asked his baby’s momma for before and after pregnancy box shots. True story.

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This bitch is so fucking famous that she even dated Sharon Stone’s brother. I looked her up and they called her a noleberity and that means she’s got no reason for being at celebrity events or on TV but she is at them and when she’s wearing a see-through dress.

I am kinda a nolebrity too, I am not famous but constantly get harassed by you fucking readers. I love the motherfucker who keeps calling me Wussus because I had a shitty week of content last week. Reality is my wife never found out about the site, I was just tired of posting this shit. It’s depressing and I burnt out.

Speaking of depressing, I went to a Naked breakfast place where the bitch is supposed to serve you breakfast with her titties out. I got to the place and I was met at the door by a 50 year old slag in wool slippers and a bathrobe. I don’t know about you, but getting served by a woman who looks like your mom when she wakes up on a Sunday morning, doesn’t not count as naked breakfast. But then again, I don’t live in my mom’s basement and jerk off to her dirty laundry. Anyway, there were about 10 tables all empty, there was one 90 year old dude with a cane at the counter who probably thought the 50 year old bitch was the hottest piece of ass he ever saw….either way, I ordered a coffee and took in the Jenna Jameson posters on the wall from 1992 and left feeling more depressed.

Thanks for reading. Asshole.

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I have always had a thing for Sienna Miller and by always I mean the last 2 years that bitch has been in the movie scene. I remember seeing her tits in Alfie and I was sold on her. She is the kind of pussy that you see at a party, drunk and chain smoking, part of you wants to fuck her because she’s hot, but the other part of you doesn’t want to use the bathroom after she’s been in there out of fear of getting AIDS. I guess that explains why Jude Law and her are still together….she’s probably hooked him up with something she got at one of her cocaine model parties back in London before she was famous…I guess this is all speculation and the point of my story is that I’d still raw dog this slag despite the smell. It’s one of those little kid sticking a fork in an electrical outlet situations.

I guess the other point of my story is that the bitch next to me is some crazy loud filipino slag who is rocking her phone like she’s at a Filipino Festival and she’s the entertainment. I’m talking dancing and screaming on stage for 150,000 screaming Filipinos, only difference is, there are 3 people in this fucking coffee shop. She just wet napped her hands, I love the smell of lemon scented rubbing alcohol. I think she may be the same bitch who has been pretending to be Lohan on myspace. They seem to have the same social skills.

Now watch Sienna Miller shop, weirdo.

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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart…I’d love you to take me on a ride…

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The good thing about having money is that when you are being carted around to exclusive events in expensive cars with your fat sister, you can sit in the back of the car and apply make-up, even after your make-up artist made you up, just to make sure everything is in place. A lot of people are drawn to Paris and find the bitch classy, because she’s from the upper-crust, but reality is that it is all smoke and mirrors and lots of hours of maintenance. If she was a supermarket clerk with 3 kids and a 20,000 dollar debt, running off 2.5 hours of sleep because one of her kids was up all night puking because she fed her kids dented can soup cuz it’s all she could afford…no one would even notice her.

This bitch represents everything that is wrong in the world, from her greed to her over consumption to her narcissism and complete lack of respect of anything and anyone. Lucky for us teenage girls from the trailer park are picking up all of her bad habits, but on a budget.

Thanks for ruining the world, cunt.

PS – I think this could be a new fetish for hornylohanwanker, fuck pics of bitches smoking, when we can look at bitches apply 200 dollar blush.

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This shit is better than a Real Doll, I wonder how many fuckholes he comes with…

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I have lied to you, just like Pam Anderson has lied to us all these years. It turns out this bitch is a post-op tranny who you all jerked off to pre-op, meaning you’re gay. At least she looks it. Speaking of gay, I went out with a couple of my house music loving friends, who aren’t gay but could be confused for a fag couple because of all the arguing they do about nothing. They dragged me out to the local afterhours bar for a beer, where I ended up surrounded by the weirdest people in the weirdest outfits dancing a fool in the weirdest way. I was convinced that using the urinal would give me HIV, considering 90% of the crowd was faggot and the other 10% was prostitutes, strippers and the kids who had no friends in highschool and who are over-compensating for it now by doing mass amounts of drugs and fucking both girls and boys, because let’s face it, they feel part of something big…We left at midnight, before Carl Cox saved all their lives and that’s my story for now. None of it was funny, all of it was true. Now point of all this is to say, post op tranny with hep or not, I’d still stuff this bitch like a turkey…

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The thing you gotta love about Paris, is that bitch has no shame. Where most of us have little voices in our heads telling us that dressing like a character in a Disney movie is probably not the best idea, Paris just gives ‘er. So here she is in some club lookin like a fool, but still getting the attention from every motherfucker with a camera phone. I guess Paris is kind of a savior, giving people who have come in contact with her something to tell their friends about for the next week, month or maybe a year. This encounter may define them socially and the story of coming in contact with Paris will follow them for life. The whole celebrity thing confuses me, I find someone like Paris a total fucking waste of space, but having money and a lot of media attention makes people love her, think she’s important, idolize her and want to be her or at least be around her. I think she has a bigger impact and level of importance than any of us, and that is really all our fault for wasting our energy caring about her.

My wife asked me to stop talking about our personal life on here. I can respect that. She is my wife and thus my life. This shit’s just a website. There’s more to life than a website. Remember that asshole…

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My Wife Hates me… and so do you.. Here’s Mung’s post:

I got in my car today to drive myself to the clinic because I think I got genital warts from the Kool-Aid Man. (see previous entries) As I hopped in the car I turned on the radio and low and behold, it was announced that Dustin Diamond AKA Screech from Saved by the Bell has been found on a 40 minute sex tape with two women performing such moves as the Donkey Punch and The Dirty Sanchez. I didn’t know what was worse…the fact that I might have genital warts or the mental picture in my head of Screech fucking Jessie and Kelly while Zack and Slater perform fellatio on each other, the whole time Lisa Turtle is sitting in the corner fisting herself while pulling anal beads out of her asshole.

I don’t think I need the clinic anymore. I think I need a psychiatrist.

GO BAYSIDE!

Mung

Read GO

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