2006
03
Oct
Someone just sent me a free pair of socks. That’s more than you have ever done for me, you piece of shit. Speaking of piece of shit, here is a picture a Mischa Barton’s dog sniffing her asscrack. I know that some of you dream about sniffing ass but this isn’t Brokeback Mountain. Speaking of Brokeback Mountain, Heath Ledger was at the same bar as me on Saturday. If I wasn’t so drunk I would’ve noticed him and got you an autograph, you fucking homo. Cuddles.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
03
Oct
I guess the good news for some of you is that if Paris Hilton doesn’t die of AIDS, she will die of brain cancer. Bitch is always on her fucking phone and the sad thing is that it is never with me. We had a text message relationship for about a week that ended 2 weeks ago, but everytime I called her asking to borrow $1000, bitch would hang up on me. I remember calling her on a Sunday afternoon, about 9 am her time and she was at a fucking event with too much noise to hear me, while I was still in my underwear when the only noise around me was my whore of a wife snoring, but she wasn’t even asleep, which only makes sense if you are obese.
I am watching Degrassi and it’s about the computer geek who made the wrestling team and is trying to make wait. Dude became fucking bullemic and if that’s not gay, I don’t know what is. The fat girl on the show became a plus sized model and is rolling in it, by it I mean cookie dough cuz with her new found income, bitch can afford all the cookie dough she wants…
Let’s talk about you for a change. I feel like I always dominate the conversation and that’s not right….I am honestly interested in knowing how your life is coming along. Are you still in your mom’s basement and are you still a virgin? Did you ever end up getting your internet girlfriend on cam yet…Have you beat your number of orgasms in a day jerk off record yet? Give me an update. Thanks in advance.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
03
Oct
This shit reminds me of the Kelly Clarkson since I’ve been gone song, because I haven’t done the stepLINKS in almost a week. It’s like I’ve been gone for the first time. The consequence of not linking other sites is that they don’t link me and that has killed my traffic but since the site doesn’t make money, I figure that I don’t need any traffic. I’d be really happy just writing for you for the rest of my life, like I was your own personal court jester. The whole traffic thing was all for my ego, I liked bragging to my friends in the park about being the 15,000th biggest website.
I was talking to my lawyer the other day, not because I am having legal problems but because he read that some dude from a site called ebaumsworld makes 10,000,000 dollars a year, has a staff of 30, a book deal and a pilot with Fox all lined up. I wanted to say that it would be nice if those same people gave me a little love. I don’t need a book deal, I’d be happy with a line of cocktail napkins that say random quotes of mine. I don’t need 10,000,000 dollars or book/tv deals, I’d be happy with $10,000 to pay off my debt. Get on it…thanks in advance….cuddles….tell your friends….I just made your famous, bitch…. You get the idea.
PS – The guy in the picture has beef with me because I asked his baby’s momma for before and after pregnancy box shots. True story.
Abi Titmuss is Hot and Is the New Bastardly Writer….AMAZING
GO
Hipsters Still Make No Sense To Me….
GO
And now the hipster video…
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Some Flickr Goodness….
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Some Girl In the Bathtub Talking About Pulling an All-Nighter
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Some White Girl Shaking Her Ass in Her Underwear
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Some Booty Dancing Because That’s What Girls Do on YouTube
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World’s Smallest Bikini Winner
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Some Girl in Little Shorts
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Teenage Girls Actin a Fool While Listening to Britney Spears.
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Some Wierd Mexican Whore Rappin then Booty Dancing….Weird…
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Some Girl Grabbin Her Box
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Some Nadine Valazquez HDTV Grabs….
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Some Sofia Vergara Pics…
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Some Weird Fucking Porn…
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Some Adriana Lima Lookg Hot….
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Some Dov Charney from American Apparel Running Around in Underwear….
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Some Aaron and Nick Carter Fighting…
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Some Naked SLag from Flavor of Love…
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New Gap Ad Campaign’s Got Something Funny in the Bottom Right….
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Lohan was Paid to Pay Morton….It’s an Ad Campaign DrunkenStepfather Would Consider Doing….
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Some People Caught in the Act
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These Are The Types of Girls I Don’t Hang Out With…
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A Little Royalt(eet)….Get it?
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Looking Good Sweetheart…
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Pool Babes…
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Blowjob Scene in a Mainstream Movie…
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More Mainstream Movie Blowjobs…
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I’d Fuck Paris’ Ass and By Fuck I Mean Lick, Cuz My Dick Doesn’t Work – But You Get The Idea…
GO
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
02
Oct
This bitch is so fucking famous that she even dated Sharon Stone’s brother. I looked her up and they called her a noleberity and that means she’s got no reason for being at celebrity events or on TV but she is at them and when she’s wearing a see-through dress.
I am kinda a nolebrity too, I am not famous but constantly get harassed by you fucking readers. I love the motherfucker who keeps calling me Wussus because I had a shitty week of content last week. Reality is my wife never found out about the site, I was just tired of posting this shit. It’s depressing and I burnt out.
Speaking of depressing, I went to a Naked breakfast place where the bitch is supposed to serve you breakfast with her titties out. I got to the place and I was met at the door by a 50 year old slag in wool slippers and a bathrobe. I don’t know about you, but getting served by a woman who looks like your mom when she wakes up on a Sunday morning, doesn’t not count as naked breakfast. But then again, I don’t live in my mom’s basement and jerk off to her dirty laundry. Anyway, there were about 10 tables all empty, there was one 90 year old dude with a cane at the counter who probably thought the 50 year old bitch was the hottest piece of ass he ever saw….either way, I ordered a coffee and took in the Jenna Jameson posters on the wall from 1992 and left feeling more depressed.
Thanks for reading. Asshole.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
02
Oct
I have always had a thing for Sienna Miller and by always I mean the last 2 years that bitch has been in the movie scene. I remember seeing her tits in Alfie and I was sold on her. She is the kind of pussy that you see at a party, drunk and chain smoking, part of you wants to fuck her because she’s hot, but the other part of you doesn’t want to use the bathroom after she’s been in there out of fear of getting AIDS. I guess that explains why Jude Law and her are still together….she’s probably hooked him up with something she got at one of her cocaine model parties back in London before she was famous…I guess this is all speculation and the point of my story is that I’d still raw dog this slag despite the smell. It’s one of those little kid sticking a fork in an electrical outlet situations.
I guess the other point of my story is that the bitch next to me is some crazy loud filipino slag who is rocking her phone like she’s at a Filipino Festival and she’s the entertainment. I’m talking dancing and screaming on stage for 150,000 screaming Filipinos, only difference is, there are 3 people in this fucking coffee shop. She just wet napped her hands, I love the smell of lemon scented rubbing alcohol. I think she may be the same bitch who has been pretending to be Lohan on myspace. They seem to have the same social skills.
Now watch Sienna Miller shop, weirdo.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
02
Oct
Two girls are sitting next to me in the coffee shop I went to because I couldn’t handle listening to my wife complain about who’s fucking who on whatever soap opera she watches. These two girls are obviously the kind of girls who don’t normally fuck dudes. They shop at the gap and they don’t drink caffeine because caffeine is too hardcore. There idea of a good time involves getting together and talking about the last book they read. there is nothing wrong with reading…I have been wanting to read for a long time and just never get around to it, but there is something wrong when reading is the basis of your social life. You all know these kinds of bitches, they are the ones you never paid attention to in highschool, but should have because the years of neglect turned them into sexual deviants. She likes a boy in her computer class and has no idea how to hook up with him. I didn’t realize girls go through the same anxiety as dudes do. If everyone was more open about what they wanted we’d have a lot more teenage pregnancy and STDs but everyone would be a lot more happy.
Speaking of happy….I was happy to get this Draw Your Vagina and Describe it in 10 Words or Less, not because it’s good but because the bitch has blond pubes and I remember getting off to a scene in a Brian De Palma movie where the old bitch in the shower had blond pubes…The name of that movie was Dressed to Kill and the year was 1980, I was 10.
Speaking of Brian De Palma, I saw Black Dahlia and that shit sucked harder that you did at your highschool graduation when you hit in the popular dude’s hotel room and took advantage of him when he was passed out drunk. Homo.
Posted in:stepBOX|Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
29
Sep
2006
29
Sep
The good thing about having money is that when you are being carted around to exclusive events in expensive cars with your fat sister, you can sit in the back of the car and apply make-up, even after your make-up artist made you up, just to make sure everything is in place. A lot of people are drawn to Paris and find the bitch classy, because she’s from the upper-crust, but reality is that it is all smoke and mirrors and lots of hours of maintenance. If she was a supermarket clerk with 3 kids and a 20,000 dollar debt, running off 2.5 hours of sleep because one of her kids was up all night puking because she fed her kids dented can soup cuz it’s all she could afford…no one would even notice her.
This bitch represents everything that is wrong in the world, from her greed to her over consumption to her narcissism and complete lack of respect of anything and anyone. Lucky for us teenage girls from the trailer park are picking up all of her bad habits, but on a budget.
Thanks for ruining the world, cunt.
PS – I think this could be a new fetish for hornylohanwanker, fuck pics of bitches smoking, when we can look at bitches apply 200 dollar blush.
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
29
Sep
This shit is better than a Real Doll, I wonder how many fuckholes he comes with…
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
2006
29
Sep
I have lied to you, just like Pam Anderson has lied to us all these years. It turns out this bitch is a post-op tranny who you all jerked off to pre-op, meaning you’re gay. At least she looks it. Speaking of gay, I went out with a couple of my house music loving friends, who aren’t gay but could be confused for a fag couple because of all the arguing they do about nothing. They dragged me out to the local afterhours bar for a beer, where I ended up surrounded by the weirdest people in the weirdest outfits dancing a fool in the weirdest way. I was convinced that using the urinal would give me HIV, considering 90% of the crowd was faggot and the other 10% was prostitutes, strippers and the kids who had no friends in highschool and who are over-compensating for it now by doing mass amounts of drugs and fucking both girls and boys, because let’s face it, they feel part of something big…We left at midnight, before Carl Cox saved all their lives and that’s my story for now. None of it was funny, all of it was true. Now point of all this is to say, post op tranny with hep or not, I’d still stuff this bitch like a turkey…
Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted
