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2008

Apr

Kim Kardashian is Built Like the Sears Catalog of the Day

Kim Kardashian looks like a mom posing in cheap fat lady jeans with her downs syndrome toddler sitting on his bike in some staged backyard scene in the Sears Catalog. I am guessing that Bongo Jeans has just launched a big and tall collection to fit this pig and she’s the spokesperson for it because she’s a fat chick people seem to be able to stomach. But I could be wrong, it happens pretty much every fucking day.

I do know that Kim Kardashian is not as hot as she thinks she is and whatever emotional eating disorder she has is catching up with her and it won’t be long before she’s the kind of fat bitch in today’s stepTV clip who doesn’t realize she’s fat as she eats her double Big Mac combo as her stretch marked love handles hang over her thong that is too small for her and is cutting off the circulation to her feet or some shit while wearing some kind of halter top with her fat tits hangin out the top….. I guess it doens’t matter…..what does matter is how crazy people with self esteem are, it’s some serious fucking delusion that makes no fucking sense to me because I look at her and see all those late night cookie dough snacks adding up, and I’m not talking about her black boyfriend’s dick mangling the condition of her pussy, but she looks at herself and thinks she’s some kind of sex symbol….there’s a major disconnect that usually all comes together when enough people tell the bitch she’s disgusting…it’s the whole core of eating disorders and I am talking the good kind not the fat girl who was molested and eating soothes her pain kind.

Bonus: Her sister having some kind of upskirt moment with a monster.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Miley Cyrus in Her Cat Suit of the Day

24 Comments »

I am from the school of thought that thinks if a girl dresses like a slut she is askin’ for it. I am also from the school of thought that if you get turned on by this 15 year old piece of shit, you’re not a pedophile, you’re just have bad taste.

If Miley was a wholesome little Jesus loving girl like she pretends to be, she wouldn’t be wearing a fuckin’ cat suit that’s tighter than her vagina was before letting the Jonas Brothers gang bang her on tour….I guess the real entertaining thing about these pictures is that her vagina looks like it’s stickin’ it’s tongue out at you, mocking you because it knows that you will never being able to get up in it, despite how badly you want to, because you are gay.

I find her a broken down spoiled brat with bad teeth and no tits. Let’s hope for her sake puberty kicks in soon enough so that next time she tries to pretend to be a big girl in big girl clothes that she stole from Billy Ray’s slut wife’s sex drawer, she’ll be able to fill it out proper. Either way, I live in Canada, 14 is legal and despite how sick that sounds, it makes talking about a 15 year old’s vagina a non issue, it also makes fuckin’ it a non issue, so she’s 2 years older than jailbait here and even if I wouldn’t touch that shit with my Billy Ray Cyrus CD, I can talk about it and there’s really not much you can do about it. Asshole.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

5 Comments »

I am going to admit I wasn’t really around all that much today because it was my birthday and I convinced one of my friends to take me out to lunch and another to take me out for dinner and by dinner I mean to a stripclub with a free buffet. I just got back, I am another year older and a whole lot drunker and don’t remember much about the lap dances I had. I know it’s hard to be ballin’ in a bar filled with strippers over the age of 40 and drinks that cost $2 each, but we probably spent 100 dollars each tonight and in case you didn’t know, that is ballin’ to me. I got a disgusting lapdance from some slut with big feet and fat lady mom of 5 tits that I had no problem playing with for the 3 songs I booked her and bitch had the nerve to ask if I had showered today, when I told her it’s been about a week she wasn’t surprised. Then she asked me if I slept in the clothes i was wearing and offered to invite her to find out, but she wasn’t into my lame charm, so I ended up sticking my thumb up her ass, having her scream and being kicked out by the bouncer who didn’t really to seem to care all that much but just had to do his job. I don’t know why I am ranting this shit, I know it doesn’t care, maybe I treat this blog like some kind of pathetic journal a fag in high school keeps because it’s the only thing that doesn’t judge him for craving cock…only without the whole cock wanting part…who knows.

Here are my links…that my stepDaughter helped throw together since it was my special day. Hope she didn’t suck.

Ps. I love you all.

PPS. That’s the alcohol talking….

PPPS. It’s not my birthday anymore.

Carrie Underwood Lookin Decent in Some Gown
GO

I love Brazil
GO

Beauty Competitions Are the ONLY way to Judge a Women
GO

Free Soda for Life!!!
GO

Well, This Just About Somes Up the Kardashian’s TV Show
GO

Jay Nichols Is Wearing Some Topless Party Wear
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The Life You Will Never Lead
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How to Win a Beauty Contest
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We All Need a Little Help Now and Again
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The Newest Mess Not to be Missed on Television
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Karolina Kurkova Gives Dudes Boners
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Virginity ISN’T a Disease It IS Curable!
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Sex – It’s Not Just a Solo Act -Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Lauren Conrad Says She’s Single Because She Likes It. I Think It’s Cause She Wears Sweat Pants Everywhere
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Ehhhhhh……Lily Allen, WTF?
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Jordin Sparks is Lookin’ Good
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Disgusting Was Seen Making Out with More Disgusting
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In Case You Never Learned This In College…It’s Never Too Late..Shotgun A Beer
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JLO Has Officially Damned Her Children Forever
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Beat Grand Theft Auto
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You’re Monday Porn Fix
GO

A Little Ass Shaking Never Hurt Anyone
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Frosty Fuck
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London’s Calling…For More Hours in the Day
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Charley Uchea is Topless on the Beach
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Some Sort of Science Shit I Don’t Understand, But Is Pretty Fucking Cool
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A Kardashian Nude Poll
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I Can Think of Other Things She Should be Spending Her Money On then Tattoos
GO

The Best Face Plant Ever Caught on Tape
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Topless Balance Beam Routine
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Jessica Alba is Getting Fatter By the Day
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Everybody Hates Shiloh
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When Cheetahs Attack
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Model Skirt Slip
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More Naked Pics of Heather Mills (With and Without Wooden Leg)
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Naked Paintball
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Hefner Celebrates His Birthday With Hookers
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Cristiano Ronaldo Dating Spanish Model Nereida Gallardo
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Here are a Whole Lot of Nude Beach Pictures from All OVer the Motherfucker
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Woody Harrelson’s Skinny Dipping With His Homies Like a Straight
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Listen to One of My Readers Rapping
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Choose the Best Pair of Legs
GO

Even the Police in France are Gay
GO

One of the Real Housewives of New York Topless
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American Apparel Finally Goes More Porn
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Stacy Keibler’s Ex Was Arressted and He’s a Real Looker…
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Some Asian Chick Takin Off Her Clothes Video
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl Naked on a Chair
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FROM THE FORUM

Stairway to Heaven Highway to Hell
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Eric Clapton – Crossroads
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Howard Stern – Unlcean Beaver
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Blue Man Group – How to be a Megastar
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DJ Quik
GO

10,000 Maniacs – Uplugged
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Coldplay – Castles
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Some Eva Longoria Goodness
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Penelope Cruz
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How to Train Your Dog
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Wallpapers Thread
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True Love
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Alcohol is great
GO

Darwin Awards
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Warcraft II
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Praise Me, You Fucking Assholes
GO

The Best of Blondie
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Nitzer Ebb
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Looking For Girl in a Coma…Aren’t We All?
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More Awesome Movies
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Uncle B’s Monday Amature
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Poll For the Ladies
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Tiffany Amber Thiessen Vacation Pictures of the ay

No Comments »

It looks like when you’re Saved By The Bell, you’re not saved from middle-aged weight gain. I always had a feeling that this bitch had too much of a body at a young age to fight the inevitable which is that it just doesn’t stop until your hit by a bus while trying to cross the street on your state issued disability scooter, but the good news for Tiffani Amber is that she’s made enough money to not that phase her and that allows her to go romp around in her bikini “cliff” jumping with the girls like adult life was summer camp all the fuckin’ time.

I know she’s not that fat, but give her a couple years because my keen eye sees that shit coming faster than you do – pretty much anytime a girl offers you sex. It’s called pre-premature ejaculation and happens before the girl even gets naked for you. It’s pretty sad, but you could be worse off, at least that’s what you can tell yourself to make the pain less painful.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

My computer hasn’t been working and either have I – so I went out and got drunk last night. The hightlight of my night was going to a tanning salon in hopes of seeing some sluts out of their element like I often do, but instead got a free 20 minute session because I chatted up the girl. I was drunk and feel a little gayer than I did yesterday morning. I can only assume the logical next step for me is to join a gym, get a six back and suck cock in the sauna. Thank god I am too lazy for that….so here are some golden brown links…to start the day…There may be more a little later one….We’ll see if I’m not too busy taking dance classes….

America’s Next Top Model Does Slutty Raw Meat Photoshoot
GO

Spitzer Girls Revealed
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Some Polish Chick Named Doda Eating Ice Cream in Her Panties Like a Slut
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Her Name is Haylynn Cohen and This is Her Frontal Wedgie
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Kate Beckinsale Sluts it up for Mean Magazine Video Shoot
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Some Amateur Tits in Video
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Britney Spears in Her Slutty new Cartoon Music Video
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Party Slut Rockin’ Her Thong
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Here are Some Girls Showing Off Their Underwear
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Some Tori Spelling Shitty Cleavage Pics
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Donald Trump’s Hot Wife is a Pedophile
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How To Properly Booty Dance
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Christina Aguilera is on the Breast Feeding Diet
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A Couple that will Give You Hope
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Robbie Williams Does a Mangina
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Top 10 Biggest Sluts In Hollywood
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The 10 Most Annoying Cartoon Characters Ever
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Lauren Conrad has Her Own Obnoxious Clothing Line
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Fuck With These Whores….They Will Get Naked For You
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Girl and Her Friends Have Vaginas They Want You To See….
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Mar

Ashton Kutcher’s New Show Fucks with Us of the Day

3 Comments »

So a while ago I told some TV show producer that I wanted to do a show where we get celebrities to fuck with the media by pulling pranks that all the celeb sites to cover as fact because that’s how obsessed the motherfucker’s are with celebrities.

Obviously, I didn’t get the show because I am still writing this shitty site for no money and I don’t even know how to write, but I did mail it in on a cocktail napkin to some dude did call me back to tell me that me that Ashton Kutcher may produce it. I also sent it to Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and a few other people’s myspace. Well, I never got called back but I did get an email that said Ashton launched a new show called Pop Fiction, where the celebs do pranks on the media and come out with the truth after they fooled all of us.

The first stunt was Paris Hilton seeing an indian priest in what we all thought was her hoping alternative medicine will cure her terminal illness (aids) since the daily medical regiment she has to take daily has been hard on her little stomach, but unfortunately, the only aids this bitch has is the person who wrote her books and runs her business as she sleeps all day and does coke/cock all night.

The second stunt was Avril Lavigne going shopping with a baby bump under her shirt so the people would speculate that her annoying little ass was knocked up. They went so far as to have Avril’s friends email certain blogs confirming the story with “hot tips”, something I’d never believe if I got one, because no one reads my site, so I’d know it was some fucker trying to fuck with me, but these other blogs who think they are actually the media and bringers of news feel like they are Barbara Walters when that happens and publish the stories…and celebrate that shit over a bottlle of wine or some shit, like they’ve really made it.

I guess it’s good to know that celebrities have nothing better to do than get back at us for talking about them. It’s like that time the dude who worked at McDonald’s punched me in the face for buying their burgers. I think they should just appreciate the fact that we buy their smut and go to their fuckin’ movies and make them a lot of fucking money talking about their useless existance. They should leave us the fuck alone and let us watch their boring fuckin’ rich lives because they are more interesting than our lives and stop trying to trick us, like the jocks in fuckin’ highschool. I guess it’s them against us and the war has just been declared, so it’s on.

This whole spitting on the people who make them who they are is more obnoxious than them just being themselves. I can only hope that the next Pop Fiction prank is the 500,000 dollars Demi Moore spent excessively on plastic surgery while the rest of the country is poor and homeless, was actually on a sex change because after seeing the kind of shit her uterus menstruates (Rumer WIllis), she realized she had no business having one….and a dick makes fuckin’ Ashton’s hot pink man pussy a lot easier than the strap on he always begged for….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Coke Bloat of the Day

4 Comments »

So my wife is still trying to get my dick, even though my dick doesn’t work. Today she went out to the fuckin’ doctor and got Viagra behind my back not realizing that this impotency is all psychological and she’s the fuckin’ cause of it because she’s disgusting, so I figured it was time to have a sit down so she understood that I don’t want to fuck her and the reason I don’t want to fuck her is because she’s fuckin’ fat and smells. So she comes at me with the pack of pills and I tell her straight up that no pill is strong enough to make her look worth a round. I told her she’s fat and keeps getting fatter and unless she drops 75 lbs, she’ll have to get dick somewhere else. I am cool with that, as long as she pays my rent. She tried to flip shit on me saying that the reason she is fat is because I don’t make her feel desirable so she eats the pain away and fucking was always her cardio. So it was this catch 22 bullshit that me not fuckin’ her for being ugly has made her even more ugly, so I’ve pretty much ruined this bitch and taken the little self esteem she has.

In a lot of ways I do the same thing to my wife that Lohan’s cocaine is doing to her, the more she spends time with it, the worse bitch looks, only difference is that I’d still let her rail lines off my dick no matter how much she starts lookin like Chris Farley before his cocaine bloat made his heart explode because addicted girls are easy, all you need is a baggy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Feb

Heidi Klum Jumps on the Trampoline on Kimmel of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve been hacked and not by Angelina Jolie. One of you fuckers decided you didn’t like my site and felt it shouldn’t be online anymore, I’m talking to you Lily Allen or someone who really likes her music and has posters of her all over your bed like she was your wife but doesn’t know you exist….So as revenge, you decide attack the servers forcing the site to go down….It is a real fuckin’ piss off and I fucking hate you for it…

What isn’t a real fuckin’ piss off is seeing Heidi Klum jumping on a trampoline. She makes me laugh whenever I see her on video because she’s an immigrant and probably only understands half of what is being said to her and half of the American way and ends up lookin’ reatarded.

She’s like this kid I knew in my high school from somewhere in Eastern Europe who would dress up in his native communist clothes and constantly try to get us to do his native communist dance to the popular songs from his country that he would play on his communist fiddle. He was a good time but only his broken English was worse than mine and because and he’d always end up hurting people while juggling….. he constantly felt the need to pull his penis out of his pants because someone told him that’s how Americans make girls happy and he didn’t realize they meant during private time, he thought they meant in general…and Vlad was a really nice guy who liked making people happy

Either way, Heidi Klum makes me happy on this day where I have to accept that not everyone likes me, like the day Vlad got kicked out of our school for sexual harassment…when all he was trying to do was make you smile…

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Feb

Marion Cotillard’s Sex Scene of the Day

3 Comments »

French people do sex better than American people, at least the do in movies and in advertising and in TV because unlike America, they aren’t scared of sex and I guess would rather see girls getting naked and fucked than seeing buildings blow up in movies, and being a pervert, I can totally appreciate that.

There was a time when I would only rent movies based on the rating and nudity warning and ended up with a lot of movies from France that had full penetration in mainstream movies and shit just made sense to me. If the people in the movie are acting or simulating reality, then the sex should be real too. These actors are getting paid tons of money and I can’t imagine why they’d want to fake fucking when they can just really fuck instead and I guess the French were up on that too.

Either way, here is a compilation of the French Actor, Marion Cotillard who won the the Academy award last week in a bunch of nude scenes, because you gotta get your start somewhere, and when in France, that start usually means getting naked.

2008

Feb

Rihanna Sucked at Singing in High School of the Day

6 Comments »

Here’s a big surprise. Rihanna couldn’t sing when she was in high school and that must mean she’s a talentless whore who is over produced in the studio to the point of selling a ton of records with songs that are constantly on the radio or in clubs, to the point where me and every one I know know all the fuckin’ words to them.

So this teaches us two things. One, that you don’t need to have talent or skills to be successful, you need to know how to suck a good dick and manipulate that dick into giving you what you want so you should just drop out of school now because it’s a waste of time. The second thing is that if something is marketed enough the general public will get tricked into thinking it is good even when it’s not because we’re all fuckin’ drones to that shit who are easily manipulated.

When I was in high school there was this mutant lookin’ girl in my 8th grade class. All the cool guys who hated me because I was an import were convinced that she was hot because she had tits and hips, while the other girls didn’t. At first I protested and told them bitch looked like a fuckin mutant man who was in some kind of horrible car accident that left her face lookin’ like the mess that it was, but they wouldn’t budge and called me a fag for thinking that, repeatedly, while beating me up and giving me wedgies because playing with boys underwear was something anyone who thought this bitch was hot would do. Eventually, I started to believe and figured there was something wrong with me for not wanting to fuck her, so I ended up rubbing it out to her yearbook pictures during the weekly circle jerk despite thinkin’ she was a broken down pick up truck of a girl, but because I just wanted to fit in.

I guess that’s the same kind of thing that happens every time anyone dances to a Rihanna song or watches her video, but that’s just because circle jerks aren’t going anywhere. They’re here for life. That must make you happy. Weirdo.

Here are some pictures of Rihanna and Chris Brown in a Pool Together Because They are Fuckin’ or Pretending to Fuck to Help Record Sales….because they are both pretty popular now so it only seems natural…so natural it should be on the nature channel.

Posted in:Hot|Rihanna|Talentless|Uncategorized