I hate stating the obvious, but the Madden brothers are cunts so I am not going to go much more into that because they say it all for themselves in the music they produce, the tattoos they rock and every time they leave their houses, but at least the other twin landed a quality looking girl, because the legs on Sophie Monk drive me bananas. The other thing that drives me bananas is that hot girls generally don’t know what’s up and are always with the cheesiest fucking typical dudes. I’ve been going out to a lot of these trendy bars over the Halloween week because they let me in and there are a bunch of slammin’ sluts in this city, but all of them hang with dudes that drop quotes from movies and songs as jokes, who buy bottles of “Goose” and who dress like every other motherfucker you see while dancing like the Chris Brown music video they used to learn how to dance from. The girls listen to radio music and Top 40 and get excited when songs they recognize from watching MTV hit and take 100s of pictures of themselves and their crew for Facebook. I don’t really know why hot chicks are generally lame as fuck, but I can only assume it’s because they’ve been told they are hot for their entire lives, they have all these assholes who are too stupid to not hit on them running up to them non-stop and buying them whatever they want, so they’ve become lazy. They know they just have to look pretty and get everything they want, so they don’t need to bother knowing what good music is or what funny is or what’s up because they’re having a good enough time reaping the benefits of good genetics.

Either way, I still love hot chicks because ugly chicks don’t really exist to me, they kinda just blend in with the background, expect for my wife, who took up the entire bed last night and every other night because she’s Queen Sized and we only have a Double.

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I was just drunk at a party and the dude I was with asked me if I ever saw super Greg. I remember this shit from the late 90s so I told him I remembered Super Greg and he told me shit was Ali G/Borat/The Gay Dude before he was Ali G/Borat/The Gay Guy and I was blown away because it is him and I had no idea. So point of all this is that Sasha Baron Cohen owned the internet before you knew what the internet was. Punk.

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The first thing I want to say is that there is no way this bitch is only 29 years old. She’s got more wrinkles around her eyes than your grandfather has on his testicles, but I guess lying about her age is good for business. I know she has been living it up in clubs and I am sure that means she’s done her fair share of blow and that shit does rape you and age you and make you look like the haggard stripper you were destined to be, but I still think she’s in her mid 30s and that doesn’t matter because she’s still tacky as fuck.

I don’t understand why she’s a sex symbol, or why she thinks she’s one. I am guessing it is because of the retarded fake tits she’s got and the slut clothes she wears and the attention all the dudes give her, making her think she’s sexier than she is. I never understood why girls cared about being “sexy” to the general population. Sexy girls are generally girls guys just want to get their dicks in and kick out the second they have the chance, where as a nice cute girl with sex appeal is a lot more fun to be around. It’s like sexy girls are cheesy as fuck and are only good for one or two things, like sucking dick or letting you fuck them, when a nice cute girl makes you happy to be around and is usually crazier in bed because she knows she’s not some sex symbol everyone wants a piece of so she works harder for you.

Either way, Jordan launched some lame hair product line, because I guess she’s trying to figure out an exit strategy when her face or tits finally fall off her, and she looks fucking tacky as fuck doing it in some 5 year old girls halloween costume that she managed to squeeze into.

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The first thing I want to say is that there is no way this bitch is only 29 years old. She’s got more wrinkles around her eyes than your grandfather has on his testicles, but I guess lying about her age is good for business. I know she has been living it up in clubs and I am sure that means she’s done her fair share of blow and that shit does rape you and age you and make you look like the haggard stripper you were destined to be, but I still think she’s in her mid 30s and that doesn’t matter because she’s still tacky as fuck.

I don’t understand why she’s a sex symbol, or why she thinks she’s one. I am guessing it is because of the retarded fake tits she’s got and the slut clothes she wears and the attention all the dudes give her, making her think she’s sexier than she is. I never understood why girls cared about being “sexy” to the general population. Sexy girls are generally girls guys just want to get their dicks in and kick out the second they have the chance, where as a nice cute girl with sex appeal is a lot more fun to be around. It’s like sexy girls are cheesy as fuck and are only good for one or two things, like sucking dick or letting you fuck them, when a nice cute girl makes you happy to be around and is usually crazier in bed because she knows she’s not some sex symbol everyone wants a piece of so she works harder for you.

Either way, Jordan launched some lame hair product line, because I guess she’s trying to figure out an exit strategy when her face or tits finally fall off her, and she looks fucking tacky as fuck doing it in some 5 year old girls halloween costume that she managed to squeeze into.

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