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Archive for the Underwear Category

2008

04

Apr

Vanessa Hudgen’s Jogging Pants are Riding Low of the Day

Vanessa Hudgens isn’t necessarily a slut, she’s more of an exhibitionist who took a few naked pics for some guy she wanted to get jerking off to her and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and clearly, in fact, I encourage it. I guess Disney feels the same way because they didn’t fire her but then again, Disney doesn’t seem to mind teenage pregnancy either so I guess they are just evolving with the times and know a good publicity stunt when they see one or maybe even stage one.

Here she is in some sloppy sweat pants that remind me of my shit I wear because I’ve pretty much given up on exterior appearance and jogging pants were always what the poor weird kid who always got a boner and never showered wore in high school even after constantly getting “pantsed”, so I am just trying to dress appropriately, it’s my kind of uniform. So I’ll never fully grasp when it became acceptable for anyone to wear these things outside of gym class, especially when those people are chicks you’d all fuck if she gave you the time of day. The good news is that she’s kinda pantsing herself and that’s good enough for me, but I am easily impressed like that.

Posted in:Jogging Pants|Underwear|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

02

Oct

I am – Jody from the Maxim Hometown Hotties Finalist Self Shot Pics of the Day

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No one seems to support my quest to seduce some Maxim chick over the internet by making her win the Hometown Hotties Contest. I got one email, which is a lot of me, about how I’m a loser sell out of trying to get you guys to help me get a bowling date with this Jody bitch. It was going to be my greatest stepTV clip yet and now it will never happen.

To prove my point that Jody deserves to win this contest, I ripped off some self-shot underwear pics off her facebook. I am pretty confident that she will end up suing me for hacking this shit, but I think it’ll improve her chances of winning because we like girls who take pictures of themselves in the mirror while rockin’ their underwear. Her body is bangin’ I don’t care what you say, I just care that you vote, because I want this date to happen. Help a brother out….

VOTE FOR JODY SHE NEEDS TO WIN FOR MY PENIS
GO


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Hometown Hotties Finalist Jody stepREVIEW

Posted in:Hometown Hotties Contest|Jody|Maxim|Selfshot|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

11

Sep

I am – Rachel Hunter Upskirt of the Day

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Here is a barely there upskirt shot of Rachel Hunter that was taken sometime in her lifetime because I have a feeling they aren’t new and I can never really tell how old she is in pictures because of all the Australian sun skin damage bitch has going on. I never found this bitch hot in anyway, her body is too big and her face is too obscure looking and the sexiest thing in this picture is that ratty old Kleenex on her lap…it makes me think of all the sexy things she could have done with it before placing it there, like maybe she blew her nose, maybe she had to wipe off some kind of food that was stuck to some part of her body off, maybe she coughed something up, maybe she missed a spot when wiping her ass and now her asshole is burning and she needs to tend to it….maybe she thinks she’s getting her last period and never knows when it’s going to hit because she’s at that age where a woman’s body starts changing…

Either way, she takes a potential hot moment and ruins it, like the other day when I was taking out my garbage, I walked by the old laundry room they have set up for tennants in the building. My wife never uses them but sometimes I do because the smell of my own ass when I am working makes me want to throw up.

So I walk by the machine and there’s pair of panties on top of the dryer, so I snatch them up like it’s fucking Christmas because let’s face it finding random girl’s underwear is fucking hot. I bring them upstairs to further inspect….Now you’d think the panties you find in the laundry room would cater to some kind of fantasy and be a hot fucking moment, but I looked these fuckers over and realized just how fucking crackhead my building is. They were falling apart and covered in holes like the bitch who was wearing them was 4 sizes too big but trying to live the dream that she wasn’t and these panties were tearing apart from every angle as they tried to hold onto and cover her her fat ass. There was also some brown streak with cigarette burns on the part that would have covered her vagina and that was the moment I wished I could get boners to jerk off all over them and put them back where I found them as some kind of sick/creepy joke, but instead I just used them to wipe my ass when I was out of toilet paper.

That’s how I feel about this picture of Rachel Hunter, if I could afford a printer I would print it and wipe my ass with it because they are so bad, but I am posting it anyway, because it’s hard to be the best site on the internet that nobody reads by posting stuff people actually want to read. Cuddles.


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Rachel Hunter Bikini Pictures
Rachel Hunter Putting Shoes On
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Posted in:Panties|Rachel Hunter|Underwear|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

04

Sep

I am – Paris Hilton Upskirt of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

There’s this homeless dude by my house who was once emaciated and drug addicted who parked himself outside some kind boutique where rich ladies by imported chocolates or creams or some shit that I am not sure of because I am not allowed in. Either way, in the last 6 months his been here he’s gained about 50 pounds. He’d be outside that store day and night, rain or shine and I am guess the rich old ladies felt sorry for him and hooked him up with food and money. I walked by his spot today and there was an new kid working the corner. At first I thought it was a bum fight and this younger, leaner, hungrier bum beat out the older, washed up, lazy bum, but realized that the original fat dude who’s business was bustling, just outsourced the corner on weekends so he could go on vacation. He’s made a business out of begging for change like Paris Hilton’s made a business out of showing her aids panties and her junk…


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Paris Hilton

Posted in:Panties|Paris Hilton|Underwear|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

04

Sep

I am – Pam Anderson Licks Some Dude With Her Vagina Exposed of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson licking some dude in Malibu. I have never been to Malibu but you can tell that it is Malibu by the glass balcony, I am so happy that running this site has given me a vast knowledge of architecture and who knows maybe one day I’ll be that interior designer I’ve always wanted to be…

Speaking of designers, I was talking to a dude the other day who does Vagina surgery. He is basically a vagina doctor who helps girls out when they feel like their labias are too long, bunched up and make them look like they have a cock. So basically he spends his days designing the perfect vagina, he sits there with a pen and paper on a drafting board deciding on what kind of vagina he should make out of a girls old vagina and that whole concept, although seemingly psychopathic makes him a ton of money….

I was asking him what he does about girls he brings home. You know once you chop a vagina up and make it into your very own vaginal creation, can you go back to natural vagina that you meet in a bar or do you try to offer them the at home discounted version of your procedure? I didn’t really understand whether he took vagina and made it to his ideal vagina or if he took vagina and made it as close to a perfect vagina the client wants….but either way, working with vagina all day could probably make a man gay or really fucking horny all the time…

I was always the kind of guy who took whatever vagina came my way. I never took much thought into whether it was meaty, stinky or diseased. This one time I was banging a chick with a cluster of genital warts, but I just made sure to avoid contact with that part of her box….it actually made a fun challenge like trying to walk down the sidewalk and not step on the cracks…

Either way, here are some pictures of some Pam Anderson in action with some pussy from the backside….of the day…motherfucker…


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Pam Anderson Vagina Puppy
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Posted in:Bikini|Licking|Pamela Anderson|Underwear|Unsorted|Vagina

2007

24

Aug

I am – Alena Seredova is 6 Month Pregnant Model on the Runway of the Day

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Here are some pictures of model Alena Seredova modeling her underwear collection 6 months pregnant and full of milk. She is a Czech model and Czech girls are known for being pornstars so this bitch proves us right by showing us how fertile she is when dude dropped load in her 6 months ago…so off….

I remember one night when I was stuck in the rain and a car pulled up next to me and this Eastern European family offered me a lift. I thought it was fucking weird but I got in anyway because I was drunk and I wasn’t in the mood to get yet. The problem with not washing your clothes is that getting them wet brings out all the smells I tried so hard to cover-up.

Either way, the people seemed harmless,that was until I was sitting in the van and noticed they had about 5 kids in there all cramped in and the creepy glazed over eyes of the wife made me realize I was in over my head. The music started going and it was some freaky bible shit that they were all singing along to and that’s when I tried to get the fuck out of the car but they had used to child locks and I was locked in. They drove the complete opposite direction from where they said they would take me and at first I was trying to be polite about the whole thing and believed the asshole when he said he was lost. Then I started thinking that these psycho Christians wanted to either save me by kidnapping me and taking my drunken ass to their compound or they were going to eliminate me because I represented what they hated in the world or what Jesus hated in the world. I don’t know how I got out of the whole mess, I think I may have conspired with one of the girls who turned out was not even their kid but was someone they picked up too but I don’t really remember, because I don’t even know if this shit happened to me or if it was just a dream I had while wasted 10 years ago that I took for truth…But I survived…

Much like Alena Seredova’s baby will survive, not because she didn’t get an abortion but because she’s broken from the communist regime, has made money and will be able to feed it more than rationed meat and potatoes…and because she didn’t get an abortion…I don’t know what I am saying just click the fucking pictures asshole…


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I am – Eva Herzigova Eastern European Upskirt
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Posted in:Alena Seredova|Czech|Eastern European|Lingerie|Model|Pregnant|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Michelle Rodriguez Bikini of the Day

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I have a thing for White Bikinis because they usually go sheer when a girl gets wet and girls generally don’t realize when their white bikinis go sheer so that makes for a great opportunity to scope out her goods without her even noticing….

I don’t have a thing for women in men’s underwear. I once know a guy who used to love that shit before it became a popular, everyday thing. He would go to K-Mart and buy up as many pairs of action figure little kid underwear he could find for whoever he was banging at the time. I don’t know what it was that got him off, was it because he liked little boys or was it just because he liked girls dressed like little boys, and the reality of the situation was that no matter how you looked at it, it was pretty fucking creepy but then all of a sudden companies started releasing boy shorts made the exact same way as the briefs he used to love, so maybe I am the weird one…..

The other funny story about that guy was that when that girl dumped him he was so devastated that he went to a gay bar and let gay dudes buy him drinks because he was so caught up in her that when she broke his heart he wanted to go gay, but never did because it didn’t turn him on….even though I saw him years later at a club high on E getting rubbed down by an Asian dude…I guess that was the drugs talking and not his underlying homosexuality..but I have never let a man rub me down when high, I have however caught myself holding hands with guys when i am drunk for a longer amount of time than normally accepted socially, but I didn’t do that cuz I was into the dude, I did it because I was so drunk I appreciated the support so that I didn’t end up flat on my face….

Either way, no matter how you dice it, whether girl’s got a pussy or not, being into these Michelle Rodriguez pics is almost as gay as letting a man rub you down at a club while you’re high on E, even if it looks like she may have tits and her dick is nicely tucked away….


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Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Nipples|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

17

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse's Dirty Underwear of the Day

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I once knew a girl who never changed her underwear. She owned about 3 pairs and would always rotate them every couple of days. Every time I’d see her, I would ask her why she always wore the same fucking pair of underwear and she said because they didn’t smell. I always had a problem going down on her knowing that her shit was wrapped in what was pretty much the equivalent of a used tampon, but for some reason she didn’t smell and I was pretty perverted at the time so I didn’t let it bother me….

Amy Winehouse looks like the type of girl who probably doesn’t wash her underwear, she looks like she’s too busy getting high in a one bedroom apartment with her friends and only gets up to get more drugs. I guess when you are laying high in a pool of your own piss, changing your underwear isn’t your top priority, but the sad thing is that I’d still go down on her, just to see if I would come out of the whole experience alive.


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Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Crack|Underwear|Unsorted|Whore

2007

17

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day

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I once knew a girl who never changed her underwear. She owned about 3 pairs and would always rotate them every couple of days. Every time I’d see her, I would ask her why she always wore the same fucking pair of underwear and she said because they didn’t smell. I always had a problem going down on her knowing that her shit was wrapped in what was pretty much the equivalent of a used tampon, but for some reason she didn’t smell and I was pretty perverted at the time so I didn’t let it bother me….

Amy Winehouse looks like the type of girl who probably doesn’t wash her underwear, she looks like she’s too busy getting high in a one bedroom apartment with her friends and only gets up to get more drugs. I guess when you are laying high in a pool of your own piss, changing your underwear isn’t your top priority, but the sad thing is that I’d still go down on her, just to see if I would come out of the whole experience alive.


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Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Crack|Underwear|Unsorted|Whore

2007

15

Aug

I am – Anna Faris in her Underwear of the Day

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Well It’s nice to see that in my weeks absence not much has changed around here. My stepfather Jesus is still a fat asshole and you are still a sexless virgin beating off to pictures on the internet and hoping Mommy doesn’t come in and bust you. Did you miss me? I missed you… The last week or so has been pretty exciting for me, and by exciting I mean drunk and blurry. I don’t remember much to be honest, and the part that I do I wish I could forget.

I went to the bar at The W last weekend, which is a change for me because the bars I usually frequent are pretty seedy with dirty bathrooms that junkies from the street use to shoot up in. I’m not really used to being surrounded by business men in $200 shirts and italian shoes and having to pay for $9 drinks, but when I realized that by simply talking to then men in the $200 shirts and and italian shoes, that would then pay for my drinks things got a little more interesting. I’m no whore, but I am a pretty fucking poor and I’m not the type of poor person that is to proud to take hand outs, in fact I’m quite the opposite.

I ended up meeting this one guy who was actually pretty hot and claimed he was some sort of music executive from Atlanta, which I don’t really believe because I told him I was 25 and worked for an advertising agency, so I’ll just assume he was lying too. The vodka was flowing like water out of the tap and soon enough I was drunk, and his hands were far enough up my dress that it was time we went up to his $500 a night room

I’d like to tell you he had a massive a cock, fucked the shit out of me and gave me multiple orgasms but he didn’t and I didn’t, so I won’t. Instead he had a soft pencil dick that barely got hard, he busted a nut in 30 seconds and when he pulled out, the condom stayed inside like it was scared to come out (I would have been too) I went to the bathroom and when I came back he was fast asleep like a 15 year old which just came for the first time.

I stole 50 from his wallet and all the travel size soap and shampoo as well, put everything from the minibar in my purse and broke the fuck out.

Here’s Anna Faris wearing a pink bra and undies set similar to the ones I was wearing the other night, except her’s don’t have the smell and residue of a bad nights sex on them.

Well actually, they probably do.

hugs and kisses
Marie-eve Martinez


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Posted in:Anna Faris|Ass|Bikini|Underwear|Unsorted