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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

09

Jul

I am – Tera Patrick’s huge rack of the day

Tera Patrick at Crobar

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. I’m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldn’t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, I’m gonna say she’s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasn’t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

Related Posts
I am – Tera Patrick Halloween of the Day
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I am – Born Again Porn Stars Myspace Profile of the Day
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I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again
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Posted in:Implants|Porn|Pornstar|Tera Patrick|Tits|Unsorted

2007

08

Jul

I am – Jazzy Pants Dance of the Day

I was watching some dude dancing in the street with his girl the other night when I was walking by. I thought it was a little embarrassing or weird to ask your girl for a dance when there was no music and a lot of pedestrian traffic. It was like they didn’t give a fuck about us and their overly happy world was one giant fucking dance floor, letting us all how much better their lives are than ours and not letting us forget that the whole world isn’t our dance floor, we have places to go that we don’t want to go and we’re not prancing our way there and we have people we have to go with who can barely fucking get out of bed, let alone dance. It was kinda like a skinny kid sitting on a bench outside the gym eating box of donuts next to a fat guy who just walked out of the gym because he doesn’t want a heart attack and is trying to make the right choices in life.

Either way, I don’t even know how to dance and if I did, I’d save it for broadway and international dancing success, maybe a role in Stomp the Yard 3 or Dirty Dancing – Gutter Slut Nights. I wouldn’t waste my talent on the street.

This is a video of some dude dancing on the street in NYC, he’s not the same guy I saw because I live in Montreal, but he’s fucking awesome and his dance doesn’t piss me off in a “I’m so in love” kinda way, it screams I do shit alone and I don’t give a fuck, that’s why I wear me some Jazzy Pants.

Posted in:Dancing|stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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So I end up at a bar yesterday after a cop tries to give me a ticket for walking across the street on a green light but while the little hand was flashing and the place is fucking stupid. It’s an outdoor thing and I just want to get a couple of drinks in me to deal with the stress of being out in public. I get to the place and there’s a table next to me of some dude who thinks he’s a male model and a comedian bouncing around like and idiot, pulling down his pants, taking off his shirt and 3 girls buy into his shit and sit with him. As time goes on, dude starts smackin their asses, pulling up their shirts and making out with them. I figure that shit never happens to you so I’d tell you about it. At the other end of the bar there’s an older couple who are probably on vacation. They are about my age, probably have kids and they are making out harder than I’ve seen in a while. Dude slides his hand up his wife’s skirt and starts finger bangin her in in front of everyone in broad daylight and it was amazing. It wasn’t the first time I’ve seen that before, it’s not like I’ve never seen people fucking in a club, but shit was a married couple broad daylight at about 4 in the afternoon and that’s why I am posting my stepLINKS now…

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest Video
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Even Aliens Love the Planet Earth As Rihanna Performs for some Earth Concert in a Tight Space Suit….
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Stream the Live Earth Concert Here
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Alessandra Ambrosio Cleaning Her Car in a Bikini
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1970 Tennis Promo Flyer With Ass
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Throwback Female Masturbation Lesson from the 70s
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Drunk Bride Video Cuz It’s Funny
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They Say This is a Video of John Legend Getting a Boner on Stage Hump Dancing a Fan…I am no penis expert and Can’t Tell
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Some Throwback Marilyn Monroe Singing In a Movie Clip Cuz You Like Jerking Off To Women from the 50s
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Laura Leighton Flashes Her Ass and Gives the Finger
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More Alessandra Ambrosio Cleaning her Car
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Paris Hilton Loves Every Second of her Fame
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Sienna Miller Does Some Fashion Shoot With God’s People
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Eva Mendes Bikini Pictures
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Adriana Lima Video Shooting Victoria Secret Swimsuit Catalog
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Some Girl Learning How To Drive Video
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Psycho Woman Goes Off on Cops
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Behind the Scenes With Some Massive Breasted Girl
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The Evolution of Donatella Versace
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A Ladder Wedgie TO Remind You of Highschool
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Liz Hurley Gets Her Leg Humped
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Harry Potter Likes Slamming Groupies Even Though They Only Want Him Cuz He’s Famous
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UCLA Student Got Stuck With Paris Hilton’s Old Cell Number
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Madonna To Cameo on The Simpsons
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Timeline of TV Censorship
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Weird Apple in Ass Insertion Video – Don’t Watch This
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Kimberly Stewart Went Shopping with Lohan’s Ex Boyfriend…It’s Always a Pretty Huge Dis when the Person You Love Starts Dating a Fucking Loser…Poor Lohan,
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Some Chick Talking About Her Boobs on Cam
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Some Chick Named Janet Chica Caliente Bikini Photoshoot Video
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Guess the Celebrity Calves
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Some Chick Named Kyla Pratt Rockin’ a See Through Shirt and Showin off Nipple
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Eva Longoria Wedding Pictures
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Behind the Scenes with Keeley Hazell During a Nude Photoshoot
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Some Chick Named Amy Reid Posing for You
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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A 10 and 12 Year Old Girl Kidnapped the Neighbors Baby and Did a Bad Job
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Hot Asian Cam Girl Video
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Britney Disses Her Mom in Her Will
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Sparing People in the Park Stalked By Some Singing Weirdos….turning it into Mortal Kombat
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My Favorite Vanessa Paradis Song Becuse She’s Funny
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Wild Man Eats a Dead Sheep for Discovery Channel
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Asian Charlie Horse Punch
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Old Liz Hurley Sex Scene
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Paula Abdul Talks About Sex With Simon
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Crazy Chick Fight on the Street
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Jessica Simpson Out With Dane Cook
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Nicole Richie is Having a Boy
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Some Woman Drag Racer
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Some Dude Bangs His Gf on Video, Uploads it and Emails Me Askin To Make Him Famous….
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Sienna Miller See Through Dress from the Other Day
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Victoria Silvstedt tried to Sue Me, Here She is in Some Slutty Photoshoot
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More Michelle Marsh Dressed Fucking Slutty Pictures
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Clay Aiken Singing a Medley- Like Baby Got’s Back because he like Ass Play, But He Makes Up For it With the most Flaming Performance of Like a Virgin I’ve Seen I’ve Ever Seen…..and it goes on…and on….Watch it. Hysterical.
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Ugly Photobucket Girl Showing Off Her Sexy Poses and Ugly Face
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More of the Ugly Photobucket Girl Showing off
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Girls Naked Asses on Flickr But You Have to Log In
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Some Funny Porn Clip With “Construction Worker Chicks” – NSFW
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Daft Punk Dancing Girl
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Some Photobucket Tit Action
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Some Chick Named Seren Gibson Wet and Wild and Topless for Zoo
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Weird Harry Potter Retard Porn Clip To Freak You The Fuck Out
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Some dude’s Photobucket Ass Collection
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Some Naked Chicks for Girls Gone Wild
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Weird Asian School Girl Fantasy Video
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Some Saturday Fisting Action – Safe for My Work…
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This Will Help You Get Pussy
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Shitty Jenny McCarthy Upskirt of the Day

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I don’t think it’s considered an upskirt when the bitch in question is wearing some kind of bikini bottoms under her stupid dress but I will post it anyway because having no standards means it’s good enough for me.

That attitude translates nicely into my everyday life. I run a website that no one reads, before doing that I worked in jobs that lead to no where good. Before marrying my bottom of the barrel fat wife, I spent time with a variety of girls who were pretty fucking close to the bottom in both looks, addiction and where they were in life. The ones who were decent looking would cry while banging or run out screaming that they couldn’t believe what they just did and never accept that the did what they did. If I saw them on the street they’d cross over the other side.

So basically, these shitty Jenny McCarthy upskirt pics are just par for the course as they say in golf or wherever they use that stupid expression.

Posted in:Jenny McCarthy|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

06

Jul

I am – Jennifer Garner Surfing of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jennifer Garner surfing in Hawaii on the 4th of July. I think she’s been in Hawaii surfing for a couple of weeks now and I am a little jealous. Not because every piece of white trash in America’s dream vacation is Hawaii, but because surfing seems pretty cool.

I keep telling people that when I stop doing this website I am going to move somewhere and surf all day, just because people who surf look relaxed, healthy and like getting fucked up. They also have chicks flocking to them in bikinis. The only problem with my surf dream is that I weigh about 300 lbs and although being fat and pasty isn’t stopping Jennifer Garner, it will stop me because I am considerate to other people. Sure, she had a kid and she’s really not even that fat but she isn’t hot and that’s just as bad as being fat, maybe even worse.

Chicks who have kids like use the kids as an excuse for being fat and it seems to be accepted as fact. Reality is that the bitch is just lazy and decides to never go back to their pre-birth weight and would rather sit at home eating donuts until their husband leaves them for the secretary at their office jobs. Sometimes dealing with the wife crying about how she’s devoted her life to you, worked so hard for the family by watching Soap Operas all day and never getting off her fat ass to work at having any sex appeal for the husband to want to stay with her is worth going through to have some fun.

Either way, I also hate the water, never travel and I am too broke and lazy to make a move to get to a surf spot, but it’s still a nice dream….one that keeps me going….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Jennifer Garner|Surfing|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini Again of the Day

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I think this is my third time posting Ashley Tisdale bikini pictures this week. I also think that it is the third time I’ve ever heard this bitches name, which leads me to believe that if you want to get noticed on the internet all you have to do is take off some fucking clothes. It seems like that’s all anyone really cares about when it comes to being on a computer.

I got some hate mail from some dickhead who runs some pretentious “cool hunting” site. He wasn’t too into an email I sent him saying that he never answered me in the past when I was trying to help some dudes I know promote their site. He wrote back abrasive as shit about my email to him saying that because I wrote that email, they blacklisted my friend’s site.

I don’t like when people give me attitude so I wrote him this:

Learn how to read or are you too busy being a self-proclaimed cool hunter, like you fucking know what cool is. It’s easy to pretend you’re some stylish, well read, intelligent dude who knows what’s up on the internet but we all know the internet and people who run websites, myself included are fucking losers. Cool people are too busy being cool to write articles about what they think is cool.

You’re onto some some David Coresh shit, you know how he decided one day that he’s god and people should bow down to him. I think that’s called a superiority complex, but I am not a psychologist, but for the sake of the internet, I will start a site called PsychologyExpert.com and send you my diagnosis of what I think is wrong with you daily.

I bet you just sit at home jerking off all night, when you aren’t too busy trying to research what cool is, because when you are cool the last thing you do is tell people how cool you are.

I am sure you haven’t seen a vagina in years, maybe that’s the expertise you should be focused on. The how to recognize a vagina after years of not seeing one dot com. Asshole.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

Please send him hate mail HERE Thanks.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ass|Bikini|Unsorted

2007

06

Jul

I am – Lohan Partying of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is partying with friends and family and must be sober. There is no way that she told everyone to make sure to keep drinks inside the party so that the paparazzi don’t see booze in anyone’s hand. It’s all a matter of protecting the machine that is Lohan and that means not outing the fact that girl just wants to have fun.

I used to know a dude who was addicted to heroin. I’d hang out with him everyday because he worked in the same warehouse as me. He would go home to play videogames and shit everynight and never wanted to get drunk with me. I ended up leaving the job for being fired for trying to look up one of the employees skirt or something equally lame and embarrassing to come home and tell your wife you got fired for. I ran into dude about 5 years later while meeting one of my friends at Narcotics Anonymous and that dude was there. When I asked what he was addicted to or who he was meeting he told me that he had a heroin addiction for 10 years, and was using when I was working with him, I just had no idea.

I think it’s safe to say that Lohan is playing that same stunt on all of us, only she’s got a budget. So she doesn’t have to say she’s going home to play videogames, she can throw sober chainsmoking no booze or drug parties. All these people are hired actors to play the part of friends and family in the dramatic life of Lohan. Shit is like the Truman Show where in reality people only talk to her because she’s Lindsay Lohan and some mastermind behind the scenes is directing them and paying them all to do and act according to the script.

Shit’s a fucking social experiment and the point of the story is don’t trust everything you see, but you can trust that she’s got great big titties to go with her great thick thighs that we will hopefully all see when the mastermind writes it into the Lohan Plan.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I only own one pair of underwear and I am the kind of guy who needs to wear clean underwear everyday, otherwise I smell my own dirty ass when I am sitting at the computer so I decided to do a load of laundry, my wife is too useless to take care of me, so sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do shit for yourself. It makes it a lot easier when you’re sitting at home smelling your own ass when trying to find girls online to send you nude pics. It never seems to work out. Anyway, I had to get laundry detergent and the closest place to get it was at the drug store. When in there, some big breasted, big bootied 19 year old was wandering around aimlessly, she looked all wholesome and shit but something about her screamed that she loved sucking dick. I am not the kind of guy who really looks at girls on the street and think how great they would look naked, but it happens sometimes. I am usually more concerned with my social anxiety and dizzy spells from leaving my house, but today it happened. As she walked awkwardly through the aisles I saw her nervously approach the pharmacist and pick up 2 boxes of alesse or some other birth control pill and knowing she either was either a girl with period problems who needed to control that shit, or a girl who was ultra scared of pregnancy and liked the double protection or most likely a girl who let dudes bust inside her made me happy. It was like we were friends for a split second and I was suddenly a part of her most personal part of her life…..I saw a dude buying condoms at the gas station the other day and didn’t get the same feeling.

Either way, here are my links….

The Whore Hugh Grant Made Famous
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Katherine McPhee in Stuff Magazine Lookin Hot Enough To American Idol Up Inside Her
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Lazy Doggie is the Sex Position of the Day Because Watching 2 Chicks Demonstrate it Makes it Worth Clickin’
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Alessanda Ambrosio Lookin’ Fuckin Hot At the Beach….
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Behind the Scenes Danielle Lloyd Photoshoot Video
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Some Slut Named Suzana all Naked For You
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This Chick Knows How To Sell a Hat in Her Bra
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Some Amateur Chick Doing a Little Dance for You
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A Jakki Degg Picture Moment
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Lohan’s New Guy is Loser Lorenzo Lamas’ Son
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Some Girl Has Sex With an Inanimate Object
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Jessica Alba GQ August 2007 Spread
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Eva Longoria in Disneyland Paris With Her Husband on their European Vacation/Marriage/Whatever the fuck they are doing…
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Billy Bob Thorton’s Hair Plugs
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Denise Richards Has Lunch With Charlie Sheen’s Current Girl
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Jessica Biel Shits and Women Don’t Shit, Further Proof She’s Got Balls.
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Dude Fucks His Girlfriend, Takes Pics and Uploads it to Photobucket
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Mary Kate Olsen Photoshoot Lookin’ AIght
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How About a Silhouette Blowjob – Reminds me of Grade School
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And The Money Shot
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Lookin’ Good Cankles – I Mean Sweetheart
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Avril Lavinge is Getting Sued By Some Band from the 70s – here the song
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Random Twisted Porno Pictures
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4th of July Titty and Vadge Flash in a Parking Lot….No One Ever Does This Shit For My Site But Seem To Love Doing For Other People’s Sites…I hate all of you.
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Al Gore III – Son of Al Gore II – Former VP of the USA and Environmental Activist Gets Arrested for Drugs….
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Big Brother 8 Premieres Tonight – Meet the Sluts
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Hungarian Party Pictures With Nudity
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Biker Gets Caught Fucking a Hooker
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Some Evangeline Undressing Video
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Throwback Girls Gone Wild Midget on the Beach Moment…
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Anna Wintour from Vogue’s Daughter is Some Socialite Editor of Teen Vogue Nepotism Slut. But Wire Images Didn’t Know That and That Made Me Laugh Cuz I Bet It Ruined Her Day Because She Thinks She’s So Important
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Sex in the City Movie is Going To Happen Even Though The Sluts are 10 Years Older and More Busted
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Victoria Beckham Says She Has a Size 32B Bra Size
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Paris Hilton on Cover of Smashing Pumpkin’s New Album – Not Sure Why….Maybe Cuz the Lead Singer is Some Poofter Who Likes Trannies….
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Some Lesbian Got Kicked Out of the Ladies Room For Lookin’ Like a Dude
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Britney’s New Bodyguard
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Aly and AJ Michalka are Total Sluts
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Some Slut Named Brooke Kinsella Bikini Action
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Candice Michelle Bikini WWE Shoot
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Drunk Girls Flashing Tit and Ass
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Lunch With Anne Hathaway in a Dress
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Janet Jackson is Pretty Fucking Fat Again. Bitch Loves Food.
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Ellen and Her Lesbian Portia Out Together – Not Eating Each Other Out
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Some Big Titty At the Restaurant Surprise
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Big Underwear is the Summer’s Hot New Trend
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Four Teen Lesbians Getting Naked Video
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Dead Bird in Cereal Prank is Fucking Funny
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Some Cam Girl in the Shower
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Use This To Get Laid – Because Sex is More Fun Than Sticking Things in Your Ass to Switch Up Masturbation Adventures
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – ebay Slut of the Day

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I am not a very good business person, because if I was, I probably wouldn’t be doing this site, but I do know that marketing is pretty fucking basic on the internet. If you want people to look at your shit, you need to post pictures of sluts. So this ebay vendor who sells used clothes, found a slut in his hometown and got her to model the shit he is selling.

The reason I am posting this is almost out of sympathy. I know girls like this bitch who think they are a lot fucking hotter than they are. They dress in slutty cheap clothes, give off crazy attitude, get breast implants, lame tattoos, double tongue piercings and bad dye jobs. They date dudes they meet at the gym or the tanning salon, and they look up to pornstars and strippers but have more ambition than that so they take on their first modeling job they can get, thinking it will launch them into the world as the next hot thing, the next Tila Tequila, maybe a stint in Playboy or hosting parties around the country, but reality is that the fun ends here, with this ebay gig because the rest of the world sees past you skinny frame, stuffed bra, fake tan, weak chin and non existent ass.

Either way, I assume some of you fuckers are into girls like this and it’s a nice change from celebrity content so I decided to post it.


Visit her ebay profile it Will Link to All Her ebay Sales Pages with all her Pictures…
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Posted in:Ass|ebay|Model|Slut|Tits|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

05

Jul

I am – Lindsay Lohan Bikini Pictures of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Lindsay Lohan in a bikini while taking some time off of rehab to enjoy the beach like anyone who has an addiction and is supposed to be being treated would. It’s like fuck counseling the sun is out, men with abs are waiting with booze and drugs at the Mailbu home, rehab can wait til it’s raining out.

I was talking to someone about Lindsay Lohan, well not actually talking to them, I’m not into talking about celebrities in my free time but I do listen to people talk about celebrities. This time it happened to come up when we were in line at the grocery store. I was buying cans of Chili because they are probably the best meal you can buy with 59 cents. Either way this married mother was talking to her friend about how much Lohan has pulled her shit together and how she’s so inspiring. I was thinking to myself that this shit is all for show. What do you think the lawyer’s number one argument for her DUI driving case is? That she’s cleaned up. So while she is seemingly in rehab sometimes and she is seemingly getting better because she goes on hikes, rides tricycles and cancels vodka sponsored parties and wears bikinis looking well rested and big breasted, the public is already warming up to this skank.

I remember when I knew a girl who used to let everyone fuck her. She seriously had sex with any guy she came across and one day she announced that she was a born again virgin. She joined all these stupid support groups for virgins that you all probably know about, she didn’t have sex for about 5 weeks, but every day in those 5 weeks I had to hear about it from someone. Reality is she went back to working cock after those 5 weeks, nothing really changed, but for those 5 weeks, bitch wasn’t looked at like a herpes ridden whore everyone knew she was, people looked at her with a whole different wholesome attitude. I knew all along that it was false hope and I’d tell my buddies over and over again that she’d be back, because her addiction to the cock was a lot more important to her than her need to be respected and heard….I was right.

Point of that story is to say that Lohan is keeping up appearances, trying to save face, trying to regain the trust of employers, trying to regain the trust of the public, trying to have a sold case in court all by taking a break from the parties for a little while, but I know that she is still nothing but a coke addicted whore. The old Lohan will be back….in the meantime her tits look fucking stacked and rehab or not, lies or not, I’m still gonna look at ’em.

Posted in:Bikini|Lindsay Lohan|Rehab|Tits|Unsorted