I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2007

09

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I was out last night because that’s what I do when people tell me there are free drinks at a party for me. I got to fucking place and the line-up to the fucking bar was so long that it took me over an hour to get served and when I did get served they wouldn’t let me take more than one fucking drink at a time. It’s hard to be an alcoholic, or college binge drinker when you can only get one drink a fucking hour….

Either way, when I was in line this fucking whore starts rubbing up on me. I just figure I know her or that it’s an accident and I never really get mad a girls for rubbing up on me, I usually pay for that shit and I’m thinking in the back of my head that this girl’s rubbing the wrong guy…then I realized she was making fun of me and started grabbing at my man tits. I hate when people grab me there it’s emasculating and makes me feel like a rape victim. Anyway, I turn around looked at her, didn’t know if I knew her or not, and she said something like “nice man tits” or “mr tits” or something like that so I turned around grabbed her tits and walked away….

I think I may have said something like “nice no tits” or something but I was all jacked on that one drink that I waited 2 hours to get that I don’t really remember.

I just got an email and this is what it said:

From: Mark Francis
Subject: hey buddy whats up! good news
Date: June 9, 2007 3:31:10 PM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

your blog sucks and your such a loser…thank god for the links which are available on just about any other website.

This was my response because I am awesome:

why bother emailing that in?

seems like a waste of time to me.

if i was you…I would have just clicked the little x in the browser and moved on with my internet surfing which in your case probably is pretty fucking extensive….

I have reported you to sympatico and the RCMP for sending me kiddy porn.

See you on the news baby.

Reality is that it’s called the stepLINKS because it is links to other things on the internet that you can find on the internet by visiting other sites. Idiot. I didn’t actually report him to the authorities but thought it was a funny thing to say.

Here are my links.


Amanda Beard Playboy Pics…This is Pretty Huge…
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New stepHOTLINE Message that I Don’t Understand
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For EVERYTHING about the Paris Hilton Bullshit… This Site’s Got Everything You Need to Know
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Paris has 3 Great Lookin’ Fans outside the Courtroom Yesterday – Amazzing
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Kelly Clarkson Goes Hardcore in Concert Video….
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Elizabeth Vargas Wears a See Through Dress…She’s a News Reporter..
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Pretty New Britney Spears Bikini Pictures for you to Remind Yourself Why You Should Wear a Condom When that big losing your virginity day comes..
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Shakira and Avril Lavigne are Friends…That Doesn’t Mean They Fuck
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Listen To A Dude Freak Out When He Hears The News About Paris – Hysterical
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Fleshflicks – Japanese Dildo School is As Good as it Sounds…
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For my teenage girl readers, Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are together in Berlin promoting Shrek
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Hot Girl Gets Body Painted
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Sophia Santi is a Pornstar and This Is Her Photoshoot
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Some Chick Named Kim Smith Modeling Lingerie Video
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Christina Aguilera Without Make-Up Photoshoot
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Kid Finds His Spelling Bee Question Really Funny
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Wesley Snipes Fucked With Me at a Local Bar 8 Years Ago, Telling me that he could own this city. When I found out he Was Going Bankrupt, I felt like karma bit him in his Passenger 57 Ass….Now He’s using the race card to get off. I say… Lock Him Up…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

A Girl Shows Off Her Deep Throat Talent on a Balloon
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Some Bubble Butt Video Montage With Bad Music But Big Ass
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If you come here for DISGUSTING videos – This is Some Trashy Girl Banging a Trailer Hitch – NSFW
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If you come here for DISGUSTING videos – This is Midget Porn with a Foamy Vagina that Made me Gay…NSFW
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Dude Moons the Cops and Gets Tased
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Marilyn Manson is 38, His Fuck Slut is 19. Scary. But only because I am scared of Goth’s and not of old guys banging young girls…. That shit’s sexy.
GO

Mary Kate Olsen Goes Solo In You Magazine…
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Two Drunk Guys have a Funny Running Race
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Some Retro Pics of Cher
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Ashley Tisdale is some cute Disney Chick You’d Like to Fuck in the Ass
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Jessica Alba Photocall in Rome for her Movie Lookin’ Alright
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Petra Nemcova in a Fountain
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Avril Lavigne in 17 Magazine
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Katherine McPhee in Vegas Magazine
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Jessica Simpson Dances like a Whore in the Bedroom
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Robbie Williams Gets Pushed Off Stage By A Fan
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Katie Holmes Interview on Entertainment Talking About Tom Cruise Getting His Hands Dirty
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Some Everyday Girls on the Street To Turn You On, Even Though They Look Like Dykes…
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

NSFW Ex Girlfriend Videos
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NSFW – Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Kimmy Stewart does McDonald’s Because He Doesn’t Judge Her For Having a Busted Up Face
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Some Cop Knocks out a 70 year old woman
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Guess the Celebrity Thong Game – Because It’s Saturday and You Have no Friends but still need to have some fun
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Some Mouthy Bitch Gets Pushed Down
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Amazing Boat Party I wasn’t Invited To
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James St. James is an Original Weirdo Club Kid That All The Hipsters are Copying GO

Angry Teacher Beats Up His Class
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Cameron Diaz Burping With Her Tits Hanging Out on Leno A Long Time Ago
GO

The Guy in the Wheelchair Attached to the Truck 911 Calls
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Idiots Go Car Surfing
GO

Crazy Crab Walking Chick
GO

Oiled Up Chicks Wrestling
GO

Some Chick Named Jenna Haze Posing/Getting Naked/etc
GO

This Spray Will Get You Laid – And Let’s Face It – Sex Is Good Even Though You’ve Never Had it Yet.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Steve Aoki Does Montreal of the Day

So I wrote a bit about my night at the shitty high end club with people who think they are high end because they have rich parents or good jobs and don’t mind spending 1000 dollars a night on bottles of Grey Goose for their friends and women who like to hang out with guys who spend 1000 dollars a night on booze because they to drink for free in what they think is a classy place because it costs 10 dollars a drink. What they don’t realize is that the staff and patrons of the bar and the music they go crazy for is all shit and none of them have a fucking clue.

The big disappointment of the night was when a girl in a really short skirt was dancing on stage with her ass hanging out and I thought I was recording it but turned out I wasn’t. I had 3 minutes of bitch’s ass cheeks bouncing up and down…but drinking made me forget to record…..Motherfucker.

Bonus – This Girl Made Me Delete a Picture of Her and I Hate When People Tell Me What To Do, So I Decided to Snap Some Pics of Her to Post on the Site as Punishment for Her Being So Rude to Me….I just made you famous bitch….

Posted in:Chachi|Drunk|Party|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Steve Aoki|Tits|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Carrie Underwood Playing Softball of the Day

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I was contacted by a retried runway Model from New England. She told me some stories of doing coke, having an eating disorder and retiring from her career when she 24 or some shit. She wanted to write for the site and this is what she came up with for these Carrie Underwood pics….

Here is Carrie Underwood, continuing to milk Idol fame by wearing a hot outfit and pretending to play softball. Bitch is working it for softball/baseball season to promote her shitty country song about some guy cheating on her ass.

Personally, I love the song because it’s a good chick song to scream when you’re driving but I’m a hypocrite because I am dating a married man. Anyway. I’d work that shit, too, if I had such a crappy song on the radio

I think it is pretty fucking boring. I guess she’s fired too. She could written about getting fucked or loving dick or masturbating instead she talks about screaming along to a chick song. If I wrote this post I don’t know what angle I would have taken because I am feeling fucking stupid with a serious lack of sleep, but I am sure it would have been better than this trash…Maybe about when I used to watch the girls in my highschool practice soccer in shorts like this so that I could watch their tits bounce, or maybe talk about how girls who play sports scare me because they are more man that I’ll ever be, but I didn’t write this post and that’s why it sucks.Thanks for nothing asshole.

Posted in:Carrie Underwood|Shorts|Sports|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Joely Richardson Black Bikini of the Day

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I am trying to find people to write my site for me for the month of July because I want to go away. I have been writing this site for 2 years and I really don’t need to justify wanting to travel to you because I hate you and don’t care what you think, but I do care about keeping the site updated daily. So I told people to send in some submissions so that I make sure I don’t pollute this site with shit. I am only comfortable with posting shit when I am the one manning the keyboard. I figure if I let an insider in, it better be fucking good.

I got this entry today, set to Joely Richardson on the beach pics. I don’t know who this whore is but she’s lookin’ a little dumpy for someone who let’s the paparazzi take pics of her. It’s called diet pills, anorexia, and sit ups bitch, otherwise you may want to consider wearing a t-shirt when you swim like the fat kid at the water park.

I am not anti fat people. I am fat. My wife is fat. A huge percentage of the girls I’ve seen naked are fat. I don’t think girls should destroy themselves to fit some stupid standard society has created, but I do think that if you’re out there living large on the beach, in life, driving nice cars and going on nice vacations because you’re on TV or in Movies or on Records, or doing whatever the fuck this unknown does, you gotta at least be tight bodied enough for virgins to want to jerk off to….it’s good for fuckin’ business…

That said, here that entry from a reader:

“ready for bathing suit season? feeling out of shape?”

Dont worry, because your neighbor (seen above) has been eating pork all winter…

I think this bitch is fired before she got hired.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat|Joely Richardson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Danielle Lloyd in an Expensive Bikini for Cancer of the Day

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I use the Internet too much. I feel like my last love affair was with an emoticon banner on myspace and it was the best sex Ive ever had because all the slut would say is “hellllooooo” over and fucking over again and couldn’t get me hard by still whispered sweet nothings in my ear….So looking at anyone in a bikini is a total fucking relief for me. It could be because I live in Canada and I don’t see nearly enough bikinis in a year and when I see anyone rockin’ one it gets me goin like a virgin with a high trafficked celebrity blog that posts High Res pics to share my amazing find with other fucking virgins…or it could be because this bitch I’ve never heard of before last week is rockin’ diamonds and being a poor person I dig diamonds…it means she’s living the dream even though no one knows who she is…it could be because she’s dressed like that at a charity and I like women who get naked for a cause but I prefer girls who get naked for no cause, because you don’t need a reason to show me your goods…trust me, I have no standards and don’t get offended by much, not even when this downs syndrome faced slut does it….

I am slow on my posts today because I had to be somewhere all morning. Sometimes you can’t control that shit. I am back now but it’s the end of the day – so I am not sure if I should bother to even post, but I will anyway.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Danielle Lloyd|Tits|toe|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Mila Kunis Wears Short Shorts of the Day

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So I ended up going out to the Steve Aoki show because I thought it would be funny. I thought there would be lots of sluts and I figured that if someone you write a post about saying they bang their sister ends up hookin’ you up to go to their event, you gotta take the opportunity to see if they will have a baseball bat in hand to take your face off.

I got to the club, they didn’t want to let me in, they told me that I wasn’t on the list and that I didn’t meet dress code standards. I somehow swindled my way into the club promising the bouncers I wouldn’t leave the DJ Booth area and mingle with their clients….

I walked up to Aoki, some groupie with fake tits was talking to him, shook his hand, knocked her drink out of her hand and she spilled it all over herself and tried to tell me off. He was very nice about things and I ended up having a good time drinking off the club’s bottle of Grey Goose and lookin’ up girls skirts. So the advice of the day is try to offend people enough so they know who you are, then ask them for free shit.

Here are some pictures of Mila Kunis because she was on that 70s Show and Aoki’s DJ partner is on that 70s show and she’s wearing short shorts….

I am running off 2 hours of sleep – I’ll be back on later today with more hits.

Posted in:Ass|Legs|Mila Kunis|Shorts|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I don’t know what happened again today, I was on the computer all day but couldn’t get any posts up after the letter to Splash. I think it was a good post but I wasn’t planning on letting it ride me through the day. It’s just the way things happen I guess.

I was at a coffee shop today where a group of new mother’s were hanging out. It’s pretty much what they do in the neighborhood. I assume they are either on maternity leave or are stay at home mom’s and don’t feel like staying home because it’s boring so they meet to talk to each other about how amazing they feel now that the little bastard has finally left the womb….

Coincidentally, one of the mom’s was breast feeding, out in the open and I couldn’t help but stare. Shit didn’t give me a boner, and I am not going to go off like a fag about how beautiful a baby and it’s mother is in their natural co-dependent state. I was looking because I wanted to see fucking nipple and take advantage of the opportunity of tits exposed.

One of the mom’s kept staring at me and I realized she used to be a slutty bar maid who served me daily about 3 years ago…I guess it was a whole “where are they now” situation. I didn’t want to make eye contact because I would have been lured into conversation while her friend’s tit was hanging out and I knew I wouldn’t have been able to not stare and woulda made a fool of myself.

I woulda got video, but the screen on my shitty camera broke so no more stepTV until it gets fixed. Here are my links.

I got Steve Aoki to put me on his guestlist for a party thanks to myspace. He’s playing at in Montreal at some Chachi bar that normally wouldn’t let me in. I told him he shoulda brought Lohan to me in my message, I got no response. But I think I made it on the list regardless..I feel so hip until I get there and everyone starts staring at me because I don’t belong….My sweatpants and old age and stink make me someone Chachi’s don’t want around…you know, ruining their party and asking their women to show me their tits. We’ll see what happens or if I actually go….I am all about the adventure.

Click my Links…

Jenny McCarthy’s Nipples on the Beach with Jim Carrey
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Paris May Be Goin Back To Jail
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Britney in a Bikini with her 2 Babies and her Assistant
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Sex with a Carebear
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Katherine McPhee is Crazy in Concert in a Jewish Outfit of the Day
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Gisele Lookin’ Hot on the Runway
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Guess Which Kid Forgot his Ritalin
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Rosalyn Sanchez Nude in Some Movie Called Yellow
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I love Cameron Diaz’s Legs
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Some Hot Lingerie Shoot
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Some Male Cheerleader Does a Drunken Backflip Without Realizing God Hates the Queers
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Sarah Michelle Gellar is High
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This is one of my readers, watch her high budget music video that made me laugh and aroused at the same time….
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This is one of my readers dancing
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Dude in a Wheelchair Went on the Ride of His Lifetime
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Reverend Al Sharpton is Mad that Paris is Being Released Early Because it is Racial and Economic Favoritism…
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Paula Abdul Can’t Keep a Publicist Cuz She’s an Insecure Crazy Person
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Some Naked Chick in the Rain
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I am not sure what these pics are of, but they were sent into me so maybe you know…
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Ashlee Simpson Banged Pete Wentz in the Bathroom
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Some Hot Cam Chick Dancing to a Horrible Fucking Song…
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More Lohan Workin’ Out
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
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Jessica Simpson Lookin Single and Ugly Enough to Bang
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Bob Barker’s Last Episode of Price is Right’s Goodbye Message
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Crazy Used Car Salesmen Viral For You To Laugh at
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AJ & Aly Michalka at Some Party Showin Leg
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Some Japanese Toilet Pranks
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Some More Japanese Gameshow Action
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Sex on the Beach
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Big Brother Night Vision Makes Clothes See Through
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Fernanda Tavares Sports Illustrated Photoshoot VIdeo
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Rebecca Loos Naked / Topless Big Tittied
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Lebian Bedroom Make Out
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Seriously Huge Ol’ Titties
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Crazy Drunken Bum Gets Mad
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Bijou Phillips Wears a Fake See-Through Dress and I Hate Paparazzi of the Day

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I hate the paparazzi…they are bottom feeding pieces of shit who take pictures of people they don’t have permission to take pictures of and then release them to the internet or sell them for huge amounts of money and when little old me comes across the pics in a a message board and writes a little blurb about whoever is in the picture and puts them on my site, the motherfuckers have to come after me, threatening to sue me.

I just run a personal blog that makes no money and these assholes run some kind of blackmarket photo business that makes millions and should be stopped, whether that means I have to switch my content to porn, or to pictures of people I take myself or not….

This is what they sent me:

Clare Wigmore wrote:

These photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal as above that you have added to your web site belongs to Splash News and have been reprinted on your web site without payment or permission.

I must ask that you delete them immediately from your archive, web site and any digital storage.

Please confirm by email that you have deleted these images.

Thank you for your prompt assistance in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Clare Wigmore on behalf of Splash News

SPLASH NEWS
333 W. Washington Boulevard, Suite 508
Marina del Rey – CA 90292 – USA
Tel 001 310 821 2666 – Fax 001 310 821 9696

This was my response because I like to be funny.

Clare,

Thanks for the lovely email. I figure before getting down to business we should take the time to get to know each other. I usually like dealing with people who I’ve seen naked, I feel like it leaves little on the table to get in the way of getting things done. You know I won’t be wondering how your parts “hang” while you’re talking to me….

Ok, Now down to business, attached you will find an invoice for the $25,000 clicks I have sent your site at my exclusive SplashNews rate of $5 per click.

You can either pay me the $125,000 in credits to use your pictures, or you can always send a check to my mailing address.

Thanks Sweetheart.

Oh and PS – I take personal offense to the mis-use of the word Unauthorised, how the fuck to do you expect me to take you seriously when you make typos like a fucking clown.

I also take personal fucking offense to you trying to take me down and you trying to fuck with my content that I work hard at writing. Your threats of legal action piss me the fuck off. I don’t make money off my fucking site and I don’t have money to fight you. But let’s face it the real fucking criminal in this whole situation is the psycho stalker hiding in the fucking bushes snappin’ off pics of this bitch and her baby and not the personal blogger writing about big milk filled titties set to those pictures.

That said, I’ll have the pictures before you can spell unauthorised correctly, which may be a fucking while.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
————————————————-
Email //
info@drunkenstepfather.com
AIM //
drunkNstepfather
————————————————-
Trendmill Profile //
http://www.trendmill.com/DrunkenStepfather

Myspace Deleted My Profile Because They Suck //

————————————————–
I’ll Make You Famous, Bitch! That’s the Story I Heard. So, Tell Your Friends. Cuddles.

Here are some pics of Bijou Phillips wearing a fake see through dress.

Posted in:Bijou Phillips|See Thru|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Nicole Richie May be Pregnant of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Nicole Richie on her way to and on Letterman. The story is that she’s knocked up. She’s been to the doctor and it’s confirmed according to real celebrity gossip sites. So that means that Nicole and her fucking loser Good Charlotte boyfriend who I can’t stand because he’s a fucking cunt poser who has little to no talent haven’t admitted or denied the story. I guess her anorexics can’t get pregnant approach to contraception really worked out amazing for her and I hope this thing, if it’s really in there, doesn’t come to term because the last thing we need is for this cunt to be procreating, it’s probably already been “dealt” with, but even if it isn’t “dealt” with we could have a lot of good laughs at watching this bitch balloon on her 90 lbs frame. It’ll be like watching 12 year old dudes pretending they are pregnant in a school play and we’ll all get a laugh out of it.

That said, I was watching a show on college binge drinking at a friends house the other day and they said that binge drinking was considered 4 drinks in a 2 hour period 3 times a week. I thought that was nothing, I drink 4 drinks in half an hour, but I think that still falls into the binge drinking category. I was pretty happy to find out that I am not an alcoholic but a college binge drinker. I feel like telling the young college girls that on the street will lead to some girls gone wild flashing…

Posted in:Knocked Up|Legs|Nicole Richie|Unsorted

2007

07

Jun

I am – Ivanka Trump’s Big Ol’ Titties and Some Paris Hilton News of the Day

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I got drunk last night. I am sure that’s a big surprise to some of you. But I was a weird kinda drunk. I am talking unable to function after 4 drinks. I was talking to some dude and didn’t hear a word he said, then accidentally dropped my beer without realizing it. I think it could have been a stroke or some shit. But needless to say, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do was talk about how Paris HIlton has been released from prison.

I am actually pretty fucking pissed off, I started writing her a letter yesterday that I was going to mail to her today and post here. I figured she’d have no choice but to read it and that would be good for the site and give us all a good fucking laugh. So when I read that bitch was released with an ankle bracelet, I was pretty much thinking to myself that I just missed a golden opportunity. But even more disappointing is that the rich motherfuckers always get special treatment. If Paris was a poor black dude from the projects and she got busted with a DUI, the authorities would have slapped 15 other charges on him and dude woulda been in lock down for 20 years with no chance of parole. But since all you cocksuckers give a fuck about this piece of trash and have given her this level of celebrity bitch doesn’t’ deserve, she has the power to change the fucking legal system to suit her cunt needs. I don’t understand why there is even a system in place when rich people are just going to always be able to do whatever the fuck they want regardless of the consequences we all have to face.

Here was the beginning of the letter that I wrote her but now won’t bother finishing because bitch is back home drinking cocktails and watching TV and doing whatever it is that she does….

Now that you backed into a corner with nothing to do but read letters from fans and I figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity to make sure you know who I am by telling you how much I love you, and by love I mean that I love that you give me constant content for my website.

Now, I’ve been a fan of your work since you hit the scene. If you’re wondering what work I am talking about, so am I. I guess you’ve never really done anything of substance, your claim to fame is a sex tape, and that’s easy to be successful at, you just need to get naked. Other than that you’ve made your money promoting products and getting paid to party, which I guess isn’t really work. You did have that book I never read, but can assume you didn’t write it and then there was simple life, which was pretty much like the sex tape only without the sex, all you had to do was go on a road trip, so maybe saying I am a fan of your work is kinda a lie because you’ve never really done much of anything but a lot of cock. I guess your impact on society’s been a good one though, there are so many young girls who rock party dresses with no panties, are down with nip slips and fucking and getting filmed fucking and I guess that’s not that bad for people like me, but it may be for them as they don’t have a huge trust fund to carry them through the rest of their lives after fucking it up trying to be you…

Here are some pictures of Ivanka Trump at some event, because she’s a little more reserved with her sluttiness. Ivanka Trump went to a good school and got a good education, she didn’t release sex tapes and spend her nights in clubs. She hasn’t really been a piece of useless trash addicted to media attention but still has a fat bank account and would still look good enough to look at naked, which isn’t saying much cuz I like seeing everyone naked, but you know what I mean….

Posted in:cleavage|Ivanka Trump|Paris Hilton|Prison|stepSTALKER|Unsorted