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Archive for the Vagina Category

2007

09

Jul

I am – Reese Witherspoon Scratching her Ass of the Day

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I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to sing a song to my wife about an itchy vagina. I was freestyling, because I am hip hop like that and she wasn’t having it. I came back to my computer and saw these pictures of Reese Witherspoon doing something up her skirt and I may not know exactly what she’s doing but I will post the lyrics to my rap. It’s really good so you may want to sit down for this one…or get up and sing it to yourself while throwin’ your hands up in the air.

my vagina is itchy….
i slept with a guy and now it’s itchy
oh my vagina is itchy
He was probably Bi and rockin H-P-V
I don’t remember cuz I was on GHB
Oh my vagina is itchy…

I don’t know why bitch is itching, maybe it’s because of the two kids that have passed through, maybe it’s bad hygiene, maybe it’s a bug bite or maybe it’s gotta do with the new cock she’s been testing since her divorce. I do know that when a woman is accustomed to having non-condom sex in a monogamous relationship, entering the single scene may lead to HPV because old habits are hard to break…Either way this post is stupid, I’d apologize but I hate you. Cuddles.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Unsorted|Vagina

2007

19

Feb

Eliza Dushku’s Vagina of the Day

Here is a shitty glimpse of what could be Eliza Dushku’s pussy, I don’t have my virgin glasses on so I’m not too sure how legit this is, but I do know that I wanted to fuck this bitch in the New Guy or whatever that movie she was in was and this is probably as close as I’ll ever get to that.

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|Vagina

2007

19

Feb

Eliza Dushku's Vagina of the Day

Here is a shitty glimpse of what could be Eliza Dushku’s pussy, I don’t have my virgin glasses on so I’m not too sure how legit this is, but I do know that I wanted to fuck this bitch in the New Guy or whatever that movie she was in was and this is probably as close as I’ll ever get to that.

Posted in:Eliza Dushku|Vagina

2006

12

Sep

I am – Lohan Upskirt Flashing Her Vagina of the Day

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I started smoking cheap cigars, because cheap is what I do and I was tired of craving cigarettes. I haven’t smoked in 10 months and think about it at least 5 times a day, every day. I don’t inhale these things, but the act of smoking relaxes me. That doesn’t mean I like sucking cock. I also drank a bottle of wine tonight because I like to pretend I am living large. After a sobering walk I came home and told one of my stepdaughters about my sex life before her fat mother destroyed my sex drive with her cellulite-ridden ass. I don’t think she appreciated the story of the 19 year old who I drank a 40 oz bottle of rum with and the proceeded to teach how to strip to her mix DJ tape. This was about 10 years ago. After an hour of her running around my house with her panties off and the last of the rum was consumed, I told her it was lap dance time. When she started grinding me and shovin’ her ass in my face, I couldn’t resist diving in mouth first. So the lesson of the day is that honesty is more effective with a little discretion….especially when talking to your stepdaughter about getting underage girls (in the USA) drunk and teaching them how to be strippers. Speaking of 19 year old drunken stripping whores, here are some pictures of Lohan showing a tight-upskirt in the UK where she leaves a restaurant called Cipriani to go to a club called Kabaret, where she proceeded to get drunk, high and pregnant with an AIDS baby that she’s going to give to Angelina Jolie, because Angelina likes Aids babies and Lohan has Aids, at least that’s the story I heard.

Yes – She’s wearing Panties this time.

BONUS – NEW BOX SHOT

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt|Vagina

2006

06

Sep

Lindsay Lohan is Flashin’ Her Dirty Box of the Day

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I am officially an idiot, I was saw these pictures yesterday and I was debating whether I should post them or not because they looked like they were fake. I wake up this morning and they are all over the motherfucking place and here I am sitting on the golden Lohan pussy shot that would have made me rich. If any fucking site should be posting this shit it should have been me because I am the Lohan stalker and because I sleep in, and the fact that I sleep on pictures that look fake. These are probably reasons why I am not successful.

That said. I should learn to trust my instincts. Like the time I was getting down with this slutty girl and she insisted we use a condom and I was all like – Fuck that shit, I don’t roll like that, 4-6 weeks later I was pissing fire. Speaking of Fire, here are the Lohan pics, which unfortunately don’t have any orange pubic hair because bitch waxes. She obviously doesn’t know that redheads aren’t supposed to go bald and that they have to embrace their orange pubes because that is the main reason a motherfucker’s slamming them. We’ve all heard that orange pussy exists we just want to see what an orange pussy looks like. I guess another reason someone would slam a redhead could be because dude’s drunk at the bar and she’s the last one standing because redheads are like super heros and are always the last to fall. I have a whole theory that involves them being thought of as devils when they were born in the middle ages and how their parents would throw them in the woods to survive making the redheaded gene a strong one. But that’s no the point, the point is Lohan’s box is not as mangled as I thought.

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Pussy|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

06

Sep

Lindsay Lohan is Flashin' Her Dirty Box of the Day

lindsaybox03.jpg

I am officially an idiot, I was saw these pictures yesterday and I was debating whether I should post them or not because they looked like they were fake. I wake up this morning and they are all over the motherfucking place and here I am sitting on the golden Lohan pussy shot that would have made me rich. If any fucking site should be posting this shit it should have been me because I am the Lohan stalker and because I sleep in, and the fact that I sleep on pictures that look fake. These are probably reasons why I am not successful.

That said. I should learn to trust my instincts. Like the time I was getting down with this slutty girl and she insisted we use a condom and I was all like – Fuck that shit, I don’t roll like that, 4-6 weeks later I was pissing fire. Speaking of Fire, here are the Lohan pics, which unfortunately don’t have any orange pubic hair because bitch waxes. She obviously doesn’t know that redheads aren’t supposed to go bald and that they have to embrace their orange pubes because that is the main reason a motherfucker’s slamming them. We’ve all heard that orange pussy exists we just want to see what an orange pussy looks like. I guess another reason someone would slam a redhead could be because dude’s drunk at the bar and she’s the last one standing because redheads are like super heros and are always the last to fall. I have a whole theory that involves them being thought of as devils when they were born in the middle ages and how their parents would throw them in the woods to survive making the redheaded gene a strong one. But that’s no the point, the point is Lohan’s box is not as mangled as I thought.

Posted in:flash|Lindsay Lohan|Pussy|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

11

Jul

I am – Rihanna’s Vadge Definition of the Day

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I am a 35 year old man and I am writing about some singer’s vagina definition in her little shorts. I am more than aware of how pathetic what I do is. I realize that there comes a time in everyone’s life where the vagina definition in a girls pants shouldn’t be a topic of conversation. It makes me a sleazy piece of shit and I am okay with that because I figure my 10 readers are also sleazy pieces of shit so none of you are judging.

I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether this new short style is hotter than the tennis skirts of last year. The conclusion is simple, shorts are hotter because they hug the ass. I am a modern day philosopher, now remember that and I fucking hate you.



Posted in:Cameltoe|Rihanna|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

11

Jul

I am – Rihanna's Vadge Definition of the Day

rhiannavadgeTOP.jpg

I am a 35 year old man and I am writing about some singer’s vagina definition in her little shorts. I am more than aware of how pathetic what I do is. I realize that there comes a time in everyone’s life where the vagina definition in a girls pants shouldn’t be a topic of conversation. It makes me a sleazy piece of shit and I am okay with that because I figure my 10 readers are also sleazy pieces of shit so none of you are judging.

I had an argument with a friend of mine about whether this new short style is hotter than the tennis skirts of last year. The conclusion is simple, shorts are hotter because they hug the ass. I am a modern day philosopher, now remember that and I fucking hate you.



Posted in:Cameltoe|Rihanna|Unsorted|Vagina

2006

24

Jan

Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day

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I think Agent Provocateur is the hottest lingerie line. The reason is simple. It’s styled from 1920’s burlesque. This shit reminds me of my mom. Back in Mexico in the ’70s, all my mom could afford was used underwear from America, the sexy stuff was from the ’20s and ’30s. She would rock her american panties all day, everyday so it is a fond memory. Well a little more fond than hearing her shove things in her client’s asses, or seeing her get fucked all day everyday, we all need to make a living. I guess the other reason I dig Provocateur is cuz it’s classy and sheer and since I like bush, and I have said that bush is the future of pubic hair styling over and over again. Bald is played out but I think the bikini wax is hype if you are a cheesy chick from the suburbs; the kind of girl who dances on the bar in a “My Boobs Are Real” ironic t-shirt, even though bitch has implants, flashing her g-string that says cutie and shows off her playboy bunny tattoo. But I am done with strippers. I am more into sophisticated bitches who know how to read, who can teach me things, and who have a little bush. This has been the Agent Provocateur Bush Picture of the Day.

Visit Agent Provocateur Here

Posted in:Agent Provocateur|Burlesque|Bush|Hot|Lingerie|Pussy|Sexy|Unsorted|Vagina