DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

27

Jan

Ashley Benson Crop Top of the Day

I guess this is Ashley Benson finally deciding to do the whole influencer thing, as this is clearly a branded collaboration, and she’s lucky enough to have been on a hit show at the time instagram happened, so without doing any work, beyond getting cast on that show, she’s got millions of followers for life and brands like that kind of thing you know to keep up the important selling shit people don’t need to the people who follow idiots with a lot of followers on social media…

The good news is that she did a nice close up titty crop top crop shot, so that we can see her more fit than it used to be body, her tits that still have enough substance to feed her ex girlfriend Cara Delevingne, which is better than when she shows us that sloppy ass face, but that’s just a matter of opinion….some people make think her dumpy ass face is hot…when staring at her tits…it’s definitely more tolerable than when the tits aren’t in a crop top beater….you know cuz tits make things better…even faces..

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Posted in:Ashley Benson

2021

27

Jan

Workout Wednesday of the Day

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I realize that I am the one who puts this post together, so bitching about it not being what I want it to be is pretty silly, but I figure since everyone throws tantrums all the fucking time, WHY CAN’T I!

The point is that I want more girls to be posting slutty content AT THE GYM…tits out at the gym, masturbating at the GYM, I don’t fucking care, even showering in the lockerroom at the gym, which when I was 20 and working as a volunteer at the YMCA was my favorite thing to creep….”Just changing the trash”….which never ended in fucking the gym babes, but instead allowed me to see a lot of old ladies with white pubic hair and saggy tits who didn’t think it was weird I was in there….they had given up on having dignity long before..

That said, this post has a little girls being sluts at gyms, the point of this post, and a lot of girls who workout or have been working out, showing their gains, or fit bodies….which I guess is still way better than fat chicks….so take it in…musculature done right makes a girl hot, fitness makes her live longer and better, and not just when having sex with you, but across the board….life is better when you take care of yourself, but who wants a better life, when you can be a degenerate alcoholic who can WATCH girls have a better life, while riding out your own shitty one…right?!

This post doesn’t make me want to work out, but it makes me want to tell every girl she probably should workout…and you know to look better…which is really what a better life is based on in this superficial clown world….

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Posted in:Workout

2021

27

Jan

Demi Moore New Face of the Day

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Demi Moore who we all know has been a plastic surgery addict since the dawn of time. I think she spent millions on plastic surgery in the 90s alone and if you’ve seen her daughter RUMER before she started geting work done, you’ll know how far off her womb / genetics are from where she took herself…but you know it worked for her, she was a huge star people found hot throughout the 90s and got PAID heavy…it was a different era and she was at the right table…all this before marrying that Ashton Kutcher weirdo I can’t stand…

Anyway, she’s old as shit now and has gone way too fucking far, they call this BOTCHED, maybe to live a life as a villian in horror movies, but shit looks like HEATH LEDGER in Dark Knight before Jake Gylenhaal sucked him off….or like she just got a SMILEY from her boyfriend who lost it when she would shut up, so he just fucking took a knife to her cheek, or curb stomped her lie he was Edward Norton in American History X……

For someone who hates celebrity, I guess I rememebr 90s movies better, I mean check out these REFERENCES….brilliant work….unlike Demi’s surgeon who I guess did his best with the pile of old sloppy shit he had to work with….I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to sculpt a set of tits out of runny Mashed Potatoes, but it’s probably about the best description of what he was trying to do with this….

I guess WHIPPETS will save her, even if they didn’t save the guy who died at her house party despite being too fucking old to be having house parties…she’s a crazy celeb guys she can do what she wants…including turn herself into a clown for this clown world…

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Posted in:Demi Moore

2021

27

Jan

Phoebe Price Winning TikTok of the Day

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Phoebe Price is a legend. I don’t do nearly enough posts on her because I don’t actually put much thought into the things I do posts on, but I would do more posts on her if I actually thought through what I wanted to post,because Phoebe Price is a legend..at least to old fucks like me, I am sure the young people have no idea what this trailblazer accomplished in an era before social media…but it was huge…

She was the publicity stunter at all the celeb hot spots, realizing if she dressed an acted insane, people would pay attention or the paparazzi would pay attention and they’d put that shit all over the internet and magazines, all while being a virtual no one..

She is the hype generator, that social media kinda of squashed out because if you don’t have followers on social media, people think you don’t matter, but there’s celebrity beyond social media, and this is it..

I don’t know what this TikTok performance is, but I love it, but I am biased and waiting for the sex tape as I have been for decades now…

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Posted in:Phoebe Price

2021

27

Jan

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

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Pussy Wedgie Wednesday is the most wonderful time of the week, I mean not really, but I am into pussy wedgies and have been since as long as I can remember, because seeing a girl’s full pussy is exciting, even when it is through her pants, whether it was intentional, because there was a time when people weren’t degenerate perverts across the board, and only a handful of us perved proper, so going to the pool or wearing little shorts or leggings wasn’t really about showing the world you have a gash…..but thanks to internet porn and everyone being a fucking pervert who cries being empowered or sex positive or whatever…the pussy definition is just a lowkey way to flash your cunt without flashing your cunt…

So long gone are the days of hoping for cameltoe when you leave the house, maybe there will be a bikini tanner in the park, a mom leaving the gym at the grocery store, a girl on a job….but now you just click that hashtag and girls everywhere are like primary school kids “showing mine, if you show me yours, only you don’t have to show me yours, it’s creepy”….or retards at the public pool…you know unable to control their horny cuz they are retards…

I guess we’re all slowly turning into mindless retards into sex and exhibitionism, weorks for me, cuz I don’t have to leave the house to see pants jacked up into cunt….and that’s modern and convenient..

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Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2021

27

Jan

Weed Wednesday of the Day

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Time to get high….

I don’t like fanatics in basically any “niche” but I realize that people are autistic weirdos who latch onto things and fully dive into things….I am just not one of those people…I just consume what falls into my lazy lap…I don’t actually care about anything specifically…which sounds more depressing than it is…because a lack of passion is freedom…where being obsessed with things like success, love, family, money, knitting, jerking off, weed, basically anything is the real depressing thing…like get a life bro…

But weed, being illegal and in need of ambassadors to push the LEGAL agenda in America, has really passionate people, and rightfully so…the government shouldn’t decide what you ingest and if you’ve smoked weed, it’s not a gateway drug to shit, it’s barely a drug…you get high for 5 minutes….get a grip you pussies who believe all the lies you are sold…it is ILLEGAL because it couldn’t be taxed, controlled, and it opened up doors to target black people who smoke weed….it’s not because REEFER MADNESS makes you kill your fucking family…if anything, it should make your family life better, more laidback, etc…

ANYWAY, girls need angles to model shit, weed is an angle, people are into it, so here’s girls posing with weed, some looking like they eat too much on weed, but still being lewd with weed as a prop and I’ll look at anything lewd, I got nothing better to do thanks to having no passions.

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Posted in:Weed

2021

27

Jan

Halsey Got Knocked Up of the Day

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Halsey is an attention seeking dick sucker, who I guess also allows for internal creampie cumshots, as that is what the kids are into these days to have any semblance of intimacy…in their empty and meaningless sex filled lives thanks to porn….I say this because I see how hyped people are on creampie porn and there’s gotta be a reason for that..because cumming out is now out of style, it means you’re scared to be a fucking man, scared to want to knock a bitch up, even if the whole purpose of sex for most men is to not knock a bitch up…

The real question you must have is how does a shaved head dude who looks like one of those trannies on Oprah or Dr Phil who have beards and UTERUS, who decided to go off hormones for 9 months to make what will be a totally fucked up baby….MAN-Pregnancy weirdness…it happens….but yeah how does she get knocked up, well it’s a pandemic, she’s a whore, and one more abortion may put her over the edge, or making babies may seem like the right thing to do to expand her brand and mooch off the attention of people…

But yeah, will the MILK make it through the IMPLANT…or will she has a wet nurse for that because like all these other young mothers, they have staff to handle the whole baby thing when the baby isn’t being used as a prop on instagram…

Halsey is always with the clickbait.

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Posted in:Halsey

2021

27

Jan

Dua Lipa Panties of the Day

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I always find this selfie, which is one of the selfie poses in the “How to be an influencer” book of selfies, where girls for whatever reason feel it’s so important to show people what they look like on days they aren’t bloated…

It’s like they take their laxatives or a giant dump after a night of drinking water instead of eating food, and they want to show everyone what looks like a toned stomach, all serious faced….while hiding the fave behind the selfie because they either look like shit from just taking a shit….or because that makes it more edgy…

I don’t mind the slutty selfie, I just think it’s funny that ALL these bitches are basically facsimiles of each other and yes I used the word facsimile because I have this dream that social media gets replaced with FAX machines…it was a simpler time where people were less about being clone fucks and more about being clone fucks with the people in their own communities..

So instead of dealing with little pockets of different people, we’re dealing with EVERY bitch being the same….

Dua Lipa is just better an being like everyone else because she’s a top selling popstar, but that doesn’t mean she’s not just being like everyone else..

It is funny that marketing yourself requires panty flashing…it’s like how girls with no money got their drugs in high school…on this bigger scale…like she’s got budget to do good content…but this panty selfie converts better…obviously…

Again, not mad about a girl taking a panty selfie for attention, it’s just funny.

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Posted in:Dua Lipa

2021

27

Jan

Charlotte Lawrence Getting Gay of the Day

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I talk shit on Charlotte Lawrence because she’s basically a nobody with famous and successful parents….trying to launch a music career because what the fuck else is a rich kid raised in entertainment to do…

I like to think it’s one of those things where the parents see themselves as artists, despite being sell outs who make sitcoms, which basically zero fucking artistry, like all the famous fucks in Hollywood, no matter how many BERETS and SCARVES they wear…

So they have this kid, who’s a little on the wild side, as kids are these days, and figure she’s got no other options and if her whole music thing works out, how great that would make the family look…you know gift your kid her dreams…so hire a PR company and let her do nude shit to find her brand image….and I guess this TIT ON TIT is part of her marketing campaign..

So edgy, she eats pussy like every girl her age…

I am obviously not AGAINST this approach, I just find it funny that mainstream rich people have become this trying to be edgy naked shit…it’s silly…

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence

2021

27

Jan

Michelle Monaghan Fitness of The Day

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I guess MICHELLE MONAGHAN is getting in on the viral stunts, because she took her skateboard to her treadmill in something that you’d probably want to see end in disaster, at least I do, because whenever people do their lame as fuck PARKOUR circus shit on video, I think to myself “that asshole needs to eat shit” so that he stods doing dumb fucking things that annoy me…like PARKOUR.

I realize that this isn’t PARKOUR and maybe I am just triggered by fitness…..you know being fat I look at people on fitness equipment and think “you’re nuts”….but it’s actually more triggering for me because the side of my arm has road rash from an elementary school prank. I was invited to some rich kid’s birthday, it was the 70s and they had a state of the art gym, the other kids were all fucking around and I got on the treadmill where they jacked the speed to full speed…my 10 year old arm hit the fucking belt before being thrown into the wall and I have forever been mentally scarred like a MILLENNIAL…you know so much trauma that I was forced into alocholism and obesity.

Either way, I still don’t know who MICHELLE MONAGHAN is, but apparenlty she’s not on LOST, which is what I say she’s in everytime I post her…

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