Jessica Alba retired from her CEO job that we all assume was just a vanity title to push the brand from a marketing perspective, but stranger people have run billion dollar companies and whether Alba was the brains or just a figurehead is pretty irrelevant since she basically made a billion dollars off the shit and as an hyped for being hot actress, that’s a pretty big deal.

In being retired, I assume she’s heading back to the acting thing she abandoned for the more lucrative internet business that sells direct to consumer….and in doing that she’s got to produce that social media content we can all jerk off to because that’s her whole angle as a celebrity…

As a brand owner she was a fake holistic / healthy product pushing, as an actor, she’s about being jerked off to and I assume she likes it.

Now that she doesn’t have to appease the shareholders, the tits can come out as they were meant to and we can go back to remembering Alba being the hot celeb, just 20 years later….

I’m still into it, because I’m old.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Jessica Alba

Maria Menounos is not dead, but the TV host turned Podcast Network owner worth tons of fucking money has had a bunch of cancers, which is never a good time….especially when it’s Pancreatic cancer, which I was always told is terminal, but I guess she was able to beat it because she’s rich.

The entertainment host men would jerk off to when their wives made them watch bullshit entertainment news shows has clearly gone YOLO since the cancer, because she’s decided to masturbate on the international INTERNET broadcasting platform….

They all turn perverted eventually, and this one is exceptionally perverted as she tries to insert a giant ball in her pussy….she’s a greek, so we know that she can get that in her ass with ease, but the pussy will be a challenge.

I know what you’re thinking, she is a recent mom, so the pussy should be about to suck up that ball she’s trying to reverse egg-lay, but the truth is…she used a surrogate…too much cancer to breed her old ass I guess….

Anyway, everyone’s just masturbating all the fucking time like a bunch of retards…and I enjoy it.

Posted in:Jessica Alba