I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2020

31

Jul

Ellie Goulding Burns Her Tits of the Day

Ellie Goulding Sunburn

Dude, Ellie Goulding’s face, what kind of cartoon Inspector Gadget look is that?

I mean thank god for the tits in the bikinis, which brings up a great point, which is how important tits are to the moderately hot girl or the monster faced girl like Ellie Goulding because you almost want to give her a pass not a fail for the bikini bike ride, I mean there are far worse looking recording artists out there and her broken down Inspector Gadget looking grill isn’t THAT bad…when she’s in a bikini but seriously, why even bother showing it, to prove that it’s you? Maybe just get a tattoo on the cleavage so we can crop the face out all together…I mean this is internet life, not real life, why not just focus on the good and save the rest for dudes who have to wake up next to you after they fuck you cuz of your celebrity and money and all that…people are groupies…I mean its a tradeoff!

Ellie Goulding Sunburn

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Posted in:Ellie Goulding

2020

31

Jul

Taylor Momsen Pink Nipples of the Day

There was a time when Child Star Taylor Momsen from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas Jim Carrey edition, and Gossip Girl and some lame ass rock band called the Pretty Reckless was a trending hashtag…then she disappeared, everyone forgot her, so she’s released a titty in a black wife beater video to remind you that she’s still only 27, not dead, but probably damaged from being a child star, but maybe the good kind of damaged that leads to good sex you’d never get from her, but can imagine because imaginary sex is the best sex of your life to date….but I have hope that will cahnge for you…I believe in you….

I guess now that she’s 27, she may die this year, so that could be why she’s making an event out of her titties….for attention…or maybe she’s got some IRS bills to pay and another shitty hit song is in the works but in order to get there she’s gotta market and if I learned anything getting my MBA…it’s that TITS get HITS….not that I have an MBA but you get what I mean.


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Posted in:Taylor Momsen

2020

31

Jul

Kelly Brook Titty Shot of the Day

Kelly Brook cleavage

Kelly Brook may be old and fat, but the titty model’s got tits which makes sense since she’s only known because she’s a titty model, and since when women get old and fat, their titties do too, but you already knew that since you used to jack off to your Granny showering back when you were in High School on Christmas vacation when she’d come to visit, the family adventure left out of the Griswald story….the Granny’s Got Epic Huge Tit Scene…must be from birthing, aging, eating cake, and the elasticity of her skin degrading…so hot…

In other news, I saw some GILF fetish shit on Reddit and I don’t understand how anyone could be into that…but I do understand why a titty lover would still love these tits provided she keeps that face filter augmented reality on and doesn’t zoom out. See, I’m a natural director.


Kelly Brook cleavage

Kelly Brook cleavage


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Posted in:Kelly Brook

2020

31

Jul

Brie Larson’s Fitness of the Day

No one gives a fuck about Brie Larson which is nice….my theory is when you’re a fucking hack you’re a hack and the world sees through it…whether you’ve manipulated the executives or not into thinking you’re worthy of the high payday…

But a star has to be a star, it goes beyond just being cast as a star, it’s some imposter shit that’s obvious, and if you don’t believe me ask why only 250k people watched her shitty youtube workout that was only retweeted 2,500 times…that’s not digitial marketing prowess of an influencer….I mean…basically no influence…

I have never liked this mooch, I never found her hot, and she has always been such a fucking try hard who made it….good agents I guess.

I guess she’s looking more fit than ever, I assume she’s had work done, they all have, maybe some booty injections or whatever….but she’s not drinking enough adrenochrome, get those stemcells into her, she’s ragged….

I am still amazed that only 250k people watched her work out in spandex showing off her new ass….and it is nice to know she’s no that impactful despite being overpaid celebrity because celebrities can be fucking losers, they usually are, people tend to forget that…

I think the Barsita cam girl down the street from you pulls better ratings than this, and now that TV is replaced by internet official, maybe Larson will realize she had her window, her minute, or 15 minutes, she’s likely rich enough to chill, even though you know she wants more…they always want more…these greedy empty pieces of shit…

The sad thing is that ya’ll like her and that she’s still a celeb!

Posted in:Brie Larson

2020

31

Jul

Nina Agdal Sucking of the Day

Nina Agdal is sucking on a popsicle as you’d expect her to…..at least how I’d expect her to…because I know you’d expect her to because it’s like simulating sucking dick and she has definitely sucked some dick, there’s no reason beyond strategic dick sucking for her existence as a model, her coverage as one of Leo’s ugliest girlfriends in his 26 year career of fucking models so people don’t find out he’s gay, her sugar babying with rich guys she mooches off by pretending to be a high paid working model, at least rich idiot guys who buy into being manipulated because they spent too much time making money or being born into money to really understand how they are being taken for a ride…or due to her popsicle skills…that she is posting to be sexual….they don’t care they are being taken for a ride because they know any girl they are with is only there for the money so as long as she’s not a public hooker and a working model…it seems more authentic for their own egos…because like big titty girls don’t like to be known for just their tits…rich dudes don’t like admitting they only get pussy cuz they are rich…

Nina Agdal is sucking this popsicle as I’d expect her to, which is because she definitely learned how to suck popsicles in the retard institution they found her at, as popsicles are a great way to reward a retard hitting rocks together in the park with its helmet on….for not doing something bad like masturbating at retard swim class or hitting other retards with you retard strength a play time…..

You know, popsicles, the retard reward…..or you can just imagine her sucking some dicks….

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Posted in:Nina Agdal

2020

31

Jul

Fishnet Fridays of the Day

This is such exciting times here at DrunkenStepfather, I’ve figured out a new trending hashtag that I can exploit for the sake of the site, and I don’t even know if it is a trending hashtag, I’m just trying to speak in social media speak despite not using social media, totally out of fucking touch with the world…at least as much as I can be and I like it.

But FISHNET FRIDAY should be a trending hashtag if it isn’t already, it’s got that alliteration that trending hashtags like and don’t ask me why I know what alliteration is, I really have no idea why I know what it is, I barely remember anything in my life and I’m definitely not a writer or someone who did well in English class….but I know Alliterations…maybe it’s a Rain Man moment and this is my SAVANT calling…some Savants play classical music on piano after hearing a song and never having touched a piano…while I know an alliteration is when the first and second word start with the same letter…fucking genius…aren’t I..

Anyway, fishnets, girls that aren’t famous in those fishnets, on a Friday….and it may become a regular feature so set your fucking calendars to come back next week for the latest and greatest fishnet pics I spend 10 minutes or less finding… perverts….

Posted in:Fishnets

2020

31

Jul

Rowan Blanchard in a G-String of the dAy

Rowan Blanchard is some weird faced Disney Kid who played Topanga’s daughter in Boy Meets World 2 the boring years for the new generation……

She’s 18 now but got her start when she was way too young and it’s safe to assume that like all child stars that have no business being in Hollywood at a young age, but thanks to shitty fucking parents are in Hollywood at a young age, basically targets for all kinds of predators that should be taken out back and shot, but have got away with it for 100 years because glitz and glam overpowers the wellbeing of your kids you psycho parent fucks….

Anyway, she is 18, so probably annoying and confused, brain washed by social media and being a celebrity from a Disney show….damaged from shitty parents…so she’s hopped on that activsm, that feminism, all that phoney shit they think is real cuz they don’t shave their armpits and because they are actually uneducated morons…into themselves and their selfies but trying to justify how they get off to being exhibitionists with some other higher level agenda they don’t really need…

In these pics, she’s in a G-String bikini, or a Microbikini, like we used to call them in the early 00s…and she reminds me of a college girl who got drunk for the first time and discovered the thrill of flashing for the first time and girl can’t keep her titties in her shirt because of that thrill..

I don’t know if that was a good analogy, I’m not good at those, but I do know that this is a girl getting a thrill out of her g-string, and since they are doing it in a group, it seems less racy, you know community support of G-Strings…just girls coming to grips with the G-String and the thrill of the g-string going wild with the g-string…

On her wiki, this is her “personal life”….so you get a sense of what her deal is:

In a series of tweets in January 2016, she stated that while she had “only ever liked boys” in the past, she was “open to liking any gender” and therefore she identifies as queer.

Blanchard is a public activist in areas such as feminism, human rights, and gun violence. While most of her comments regarding these issues are posted via Twitter or Tumblr, she has spoken at the UN Women and US National Committee’s annual conference as part of #TeamHeForShe, a feminist campaign.[20]

Posted in:Rowan Blanchard

2020

31

Jul

Alexandra Daddario and Kate Easton in Bikinis of the Day

Alexandra Daddario has some tits, that she’s playing up for the photo with her friend and fellow actor Kate Easton who I’ve never heard of but who is apparently in Magic Mike movies and other shit, as actors tend to be….

I will say that actors are clearly not as hot as hot chicks…but lucky for them, there are a lot of people who fall in love with their characters in movies, which sustains them and allows them to pretend they are more than just average looking, and in Daddario’s case, she’s got the tits she plays up as much as she can to distract you from everything else average as shit about her…

So be a groupie to some trash that doesn’t care about you…because she’s got some titty she’s pulling up in her bikini top…milking it in the most boring of ways…just watch her True Detective tit scenes and stop wasting your time on her shitty social media posts!

Posted in:Alexandra Daddario

2020

31

Jul

Fitness Friday of the Day

It’s Fitness Friday, so let’s look at girls from the internet who aren’t celebrities but who may be trying to get some level of celebrity to maximize their ONLY FANS account or whatever else they are using to sell nudes…by posting up pics of their gains like a bunch of queer dudes pretending to be straight dudes tend to do when they get into that workout thing…

Some of these fitness friday pics are to inspire you get to the GYM, in COVID era of you have to wear your mask in, but you don’t have to wear your mask to workout, even though that’s the danger zone, if COVID is even real…and not just some scam to get rid of Trump, because the world Elite is a real thing and they don’t give a fuck about the common man…on any level unless it makes them richer..and I’m not a conspiracy person, I just find the world fucking weird as shit now…

But yeah, get to the gym, because girls get naked in the gym apparently….and it will probably help you in the long run, because if the apolcalypse is coming you may want to be in your best fighting form to survive….and fitness is the answer to get there…

Just ask these girls…as you jack off to them….if you’re into toned, fit, muscular, ripped, flexing, you may be gay….or you may just be accustomed to sloppy bitches and it’s nice to see what working on your body looks like…as a woman…

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Posted in:Fitness

2020

31

Jul

Mckayla Maroney Got Some Nerve of the Day

McKayla Moroney in her “Survivor” bathing suit is probably pretty offensive to all the women who she didn’t protect or support when she took a cash settlement like a selfish, greedy, twat who sees the importance of cashing in on your rape from your pervert doctor your asshole parents put you in harms way with because they had Olympic dreams which I guess paid off nicely in the end because this one’s a star Gymnast winner with a Gold Medal from the team event, because she’s not good enough to carry that medal on her own.

I am all for supporting survivors of Sexual Assault, despite making fun of rape and the #metoo movement because I find it reduces the fucking importance or seriousness of sexual assault by making it a trending meme that everyone wants to be a part of, which to me, is just fucking shit….because people make false claims and misappropriate what happened to them as rape, which isn’t fair to all involved…

I am not an advocate of rape….and like granny always said you can’t rape the willing, and the willing can often times become unwilling months or years after the fact as memory gets modified…

But seeing Maroney, who was molested and paid off for being molested, which is the equivalent of being a sex worker to the dude, wearing a survivor shirt, after having exploited the act she is a survivor of, is some bullshit…

Her team, the Gymnastics people, the media, should cancel her for this shit…while you masturbate to it because you are weird.

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Posted in:McKayla Maroney