DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2020

29

Apr

Josie Canseco Nipples of the Day

Josie Canseco is the trashy rich kid that was conceived out of opportunity rather than love, but that doesn’t mean her parents don’t like her, regret having her, it just means her mom was a hooters waitress and her dad a big famous baseball player…do the fucking math.

She’s been consitently slutty throughout her introduction to us as the athlete’s daughter. She’s been in a bikini or half naked consistently and people find her fucking hot..so keep up the same hustle…

Her friend is some other bitch with 2.7 million followers named Scarlett Rose because being named after one color, why not go for two….not to mention ROSE is the middle name of the generation…give PEONY a chance…but name or not, she is also hot…

Together they have come together in this fuck social distancing, we aren’t pussies, but we have pussies that we put things like penises inside….

So that together they can do a sheer white outfit getting wet in a Malibu home that probably belongs to one of these rich fucks’ parents…

Rich kids on coke is alright, but I prefer rich kids on each other being hot and half naked whilst wet sluts….

I get a lot of hate for calling girls sluts, but if they are sluts, I think it’s the best way to describe them, plus I love sluts…without them…life would be boring…so celebrate sluts.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Josie Canseco

2020

29

Apr

Riley Keough Nude of the Day

No Comments »

I like to think of Riley Keough’s tits as the Tits that Elvis built…even though he was long dead before she was born…she is still his weirdo Scientologist grand daughter, and her tits are still genetically from the King…

I don’t know about you, but I definitely understand that Elvis hype, it’s hard to not be a fan of the legend, so jerking off to his grand daughter who has become an actor who clearly gets her tits out in movies is the best way to honor his memory…

I like to do it with a peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwich….and some BLUE CHRISTMAS on the old record player….to really set the mood…because without Elvis…these tits wouldn’t matter or exist…he’s what brings it all together….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Riley Keough

2020

29

Apr

Braless Noah Cyrus of the Day

No Comments »

Noah Cyrus is getting a facial…

Something Billy Ray probably wishes he gave his wife the day this was inseminated…but instead he has to spend his life telling her how valid, valuable, unique, beautiful she is so that she doesn’t do the rich kid offing of herself knowing she’ll never be Miley.

People think she’s disgusting looking, but that affirmation Ray Cyrus gave her makes her power through and strip down on the internet like their mom taught them…because if the internet existed when she was getting knocked up by ACHY BREACHY’s wallet…she probably wouldn’t have had to be the stripper she clearly when they met and could focus on the important things like nude member sites…it worked for Jenna Jameson, that bitch made 100 million dollars off her porn site, that’s almost MYSPACE TOM money….rather than making shitty kids like this to finance her life…

As it turns out this is a FACE MASK not a facial but I won’t let those FACTS deter my angle with this post…you can’t bring me down…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:noah cyrus

2020

29

Apr

Elizabeth Hurley Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Elizabeth Hurley is celebrating her mothers 80th birthday…..which is interesting because I just assumed Liz Hurley was 80 years old.

She’s in her bikini because that is the only way she knows how to celebrate and her weird pervert trans son she coddled is the one who shot the pics to give a little context to this photo of rich weirdos who you used to jerk off to when watching Austin Powers….

Her mom looks pretty good for 80s, so maybe it’s genetics, maybe it’s photoshoot, maybe it’s BOTOX…who fucking knows…unless this is an into to a mom / daughter geriatric incest in the same retirement community…I don’t want nothing to do with it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Elizabeth Hurley

2020

29

Apr

Cayley King Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know who this fat girl in a bathing suit is, but after much research she’s apparently some bullshit instagram type model with the big tits, who probably knows the angles to divert the big everything else, as most girls do….because it looks like she’s pregant or a fat old man with his shorts up to his fucking neck….or a fat 45 year old mom who is on a CRUISE before COVID killed off the grandparents and CRUISE industry….ready to dabble in a bikini recommended by OPRAH for all mom body types…you know housewife shit.

She does not look like a hot young thing ready to take over the other hot young things of instagram…but it does look like a mommy blogger getting wild on quarantine…or at least a young thing ready to eat the food of all the other hot things…

Maybe it’s fat shaming, maybe that’s what you get when you post pics of your bikini over your fat ass belly.

KEEP IN MIND…this is FACETUNED / PHOTOSHOPPED and she STILL looks like a mom….you’re probably into that you fucking weirdo.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Cayley King

2020

29

Apr

Anastasia Ashley Fitness Erotica of the Day

No Comments »

Anastasia Ashley brings the COVID QUARANTINE GOOD TIMES to all you perverts into stay at home wives like the misogynists you are….with your “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” approach to relationships that are in no way the only reason you haven’t had sex in 10 years…but part of the problem as you sit there in your mess, stale semen drying on old tshirts and shit stained underwear because you’ve given up on life…a “clean my house and make me a damn sandwich” is a far cry from ever happening…which is what makes it that much more of a fantasy..

I for one feel that cleaning is women’s work, especially when done in skimpy bathing suits, it’s really the whole foundation of naked maid services….and mail order Russian brides….

So as much as we like seeing Anastasia Ashley surfing, or dancing at events, or just living a better life than you on the beach with her ass out…this is a good old fashioned cleaning lady doing cleaning aeorbics in a best of what house wives do….at least this is what I like to think housewives do…knowing they likely just sit around eating and complaining about how hard their life is while dad is at work supporting the damn family.

Either way, I’ll watch bitches work out anytime….the less clothes the better…while staying true to the Call on Me video….good fucking job…

@anastasiaashley

Inspired by all the live workouts ##fyp

? Call on Me – Radio Mix – Eric Prydz

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley

2020

29

Apr

WATERMELON WEDNESDAYS of the Day

No Comments »

The biggest struggle I have being a half retard with ADD, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I may even be flipper baby, or this could be early Alzheimers, diabetes, SLEEP Apnea who fucking knows…is consistency.

Sure, I get the site updated daily because that’s just what I do…but I want weekly themes…

I want TITTY Tuesday, Throwback Thursday, I want to be in that “It” hashtag crowd…following the trends so that you know every Tuesday you’ll find titties here, every Thursdays you’ll find girls throwing back loads, or whatever Throwback Thursday means..or menes depending on whether you live your life as a meme.

So today, we bring you WATERMELON Wednesday…it’s about the big tits we find on INSTAGRAM by BIG tit girls who like to show us their tits…and the only problem with this is that by next Wednesday I’ll forget about the weekly feature…so unless I get an email reminding me next Wednesday, or a FACEBOOK message…this may be the first and last WATERMELON wednesday….and it MAY never be the trending HASHTAG it needs to be!

Some WATERMELON WEDNESDAY!

Posted in:Features

2020

29

Apr

Margot Robbie is Nasty in Shorts of the Day

No Comments »

If you don’t look at these pics of Margot Robbie in some oversized shorts and say to yourself “Damn this bitch is overrated”…then you are a fucking idiot.

She is average in her looks, in her acting, and whether she sucked up Weinstein of a Weinstein equivalent to launch her career that keeps on fucking giving, despite none of her acting roles being good, compelling or worthy of the hype…other than her Wolf of Wall Street nude scenes…that’s really ALL she is good for…and not even THAT good…or good enough to create the career she has had.

So whenever I see actors wrongfully celebrated or cast as the headliner when really they should be the extra naked in the hot tub or whatever the naked extra is needed for…I feel lied to.

When I see Margot Robbie who must be 48 years old, but maybe that’s just from the harsh Australian sun….I think…you’re all a bunch of fucking sheeple.

So as she walks no mask, in shorts that could double as a hazmat suit, I think either she’s pregnant…or just dumpy….and her career a fucking lie…not that she cares she’s got PAID…better than stripping or hooking like she’s probably better suited for…I mean based on what I’ve seen I think she’d be a good escort…manipulating, role playing etc….

I admit, my opnion of her could change relatively quickly if these shorts weren’t so damn big, I’m a flip flopper like that.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Margot Robbie|SFW

2020

29

Apr

Alicia Silverstone’s Fat Booty of the Day

No Comments »

This one goes out to all the Clueless fans who jacked off to Clueless because it came out before there was really access to internet porn…the mainstream broadband companies didn’t want you having access until they found the best way to track and document your every move…and that took time…but they distracted you with movies during that time which made masturbating far less challenging now that you’ve been exposed to so much insanity, that you can’t even get your dick to work….you know there was a time when cleavage was enough, or a hard nipple in a t-shirt enough….now you’re spending hours a day trying to find that one video clip that gets you…and clueless in 1995 was the movie before the internet took over in about 1996.

Either way…she’s wearing sweatpants like a chubby instagram influencer rocking a huge fat ass like she’s a Kardashian or Jenner or chubby instagram influencers…because this is what the evolution of ass has become…and I don’t really mind it…even though she’s about 100 fucking years old.

What I do mind is the gut though, like what is that, is she pregnant or just lazy and into eating everything because she knows she’s expired so why bother…

I guess what we’ve learned here today is that a fat ass is only as good as it’s front.

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alicia Silverstone|SFW

2020

29

Apr

Old Granny TikTok of the Day

No Comments »

There’s an oufit swapping trend on TikTok, the Chinese spyware app that is tracking the American youth’s every move and they don’t care because they just want to song and dance man…

This is the outfit swapping trend video that went viral for the trend involving some girl in her instagram / CAM GIRL lingerie and her granny…who swap outfits in a terrifying yet brilliant exchange.

I ran this by my Millennial constituents / committee and they told me it was old news and that I’ve already seen it and may have even posted.

Luckily, I rely on you being more out of touch than me, so that when I put it up it’s new to you….

Not to mention this is so twisted, weird, hilarious, disturbing….hot…that I can’t repost it again if I have already posted it….

I just hope for the Granny’s sake, she didn’t get herpes or Chlamydia, you know kids these days…all banged out on dating apps and shit.

Posted in:SFW|TIKTHOT|TIKTOK|Videos