DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

18

Dec

Heather Graham Bikini of the Day

I guess I approach Heather Graham like ya’ll approach Kate Beckinsale, because I never watched Kate Beckinsale’s early work and she’s just always been the hot bodied mother to me, that I had no real interest in ever…

While Heather Graham was Roller Girl…I mean…ICONIC…with her merkin and awesome tits in a movie that I remember thinking was great at the time….only to propel her into countless movies where she’s shown her tits..so I guess she’s just given us a lot more to work with than Beckinsale…so if we are going to focus on any menopausal near 50 year old celebrity woman smut…we should give it to Heather Graham since she’s been in more relevant shit, and is a far bigger star, than those other 50 year olds…

So posting that bikini smut like she’s some kind of influencers since all celebs are becoming influencers….works for me, even though at my core I think women should tap out at 28.

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Posted in:Heather Graham|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Kate Beckinsale Erotica of the Day

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Kate Beckinsale is the most googled woman or celebrity of the year, I know this because I read her caption on social media when I was cuing up other slutty content she’s posted, because at 48 years old, despite being a mom of a 20 year old slut of her own, she still brings it, still has the fanbase that fucking love her…but more importantly…has a ridiculous body for a 48 year old….

I guess you can read the article, if you haven’t already, you weird Kate Beckinsale fan club member…but I assume it is thanks to fitness, starvation, the good life, injections, hormone therapy, who knows…if you’re rich there are ways to extend your jerk off window into menopause….and you don’t even have to change your marketing strategy to target dudes into menopausal women, you know the menopause fetishists…who exist…there’s porns built around it….and I guess if you think about it, if you get them before full fledge menopause….just cusp of menopause you can cum in them all you want without fear of unwanted pregancy…cuz bitch can’t get pregnant so it is a fetish for all men…

So as Kate Beckinsale, unable to get pregnant faces her 50s….still hot enough for her original fans….who are weird in and of itself as she brings in the new fans….she’s doing these photoshoots half naked…check em out.

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Tallia Storm Nip Slip of the Day

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Tallia Storm is some Scottish popstar who had a mother that was a Public Relations person who decided to do a scaled down BIEBER situation with the whole YOUTUBE thing, where she polarized her daughter into being some sort of relevant figure, because if you are a decent sales person, you can polarize anything you want and people will believe you, because people are dumb….and thus Tallia Storm was created..

Since turning 18, she’s been out there in bikinis, showing tit, now a nipple slip because she was raised on how to get attention, her mother made a career on media manipulation, and showing a little tit for some major money or personal gain is a fucking solid trade off….

Unfortunately, the cute young girl is now looking like current 40 year old Fat Christina Aguilera…it all happened so fast…barely had a chance to be young and hot….before it was all taken from her.

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Posted in:SFW|Tallia Storm

2019

18

Dec

Bella Thorne Bikini of the Day

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The one thing I hate about this, because despite finding Bella Thorne disgusting, like a slimy greasy masculine faced thing, she’s still a slutty Disney kid half naked with big titties, and that overrides everything….meaning I don’t hate her or her hustle…I think it’s entertaining enough….

But the one thing I do hate about this, is knowing that when they filmed this for their social media, they were laughing and thinking it was so funny, so brilliant, when it is obviously fucking stupid…

If she wants to impress us with her creativity….do a vagina puppet show….no one does vagina puppet shows and I say what’s the whole point of having a vagina if you’re not going to put googly eyes on it and give it a funny voice while bringing it to funny situations…that’s the TIKTOK I want to see…

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne Click Bait Lesbians of the Day

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Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne brought out the click bait….

We get it, you’re fake lesbians, because lesbianism is a myth, they all want the seed of man inside them to make babies, even the most manly of lesbians, if anything it’s a fetish, a little CUNT ON CUNT cuz they are chronic masturbators bored of their own pussies and into trying new pussy to see what else is out there….plus it comes with a lot of media hype in this era of everyone caring about every pervert and gross detail of every person…from their daily shit color to what dildos they use…nothing is kept secret and shameful and that fucks up humanity as a whole…it’s nice to be ashamed of shit you are into…it makes it more exciting…and gives you that dopamine…if you’re do anything too much, like sending nudes out to dudes all day, or fucking girls off the internet, you eventually need to step it up to make it interesting for yourself..that’s why LEO DiCaprio fucks men and why husbands cheat on hot young chicks, or make their wife fuck black dudes in their matrimonial room….HUMANS get bored and I find this boring…

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Posted in:Ashley Benson|Cara Delevigne|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Kelly Gale Fitness and Bikini Body of the Day

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Kelly Gale is a Victoria’s Secret model…who you may or may not have heard of since Victoria’s Secret is dogshit and the only thing it really does for these girls who grew up dreaming about being Victoria’s Secret models because women as a whole a pretty basic, easy to market to and manipulate, proven in the fact that I have had sex before and that should have never happened, but women aren’t the brightest..

ANYWAY….the only benefit of being a VS model now that VS is a sinking ship is that she was still cast, still made money, and still can use the title to increases your profile to rich dudes who want to fuck Victoria’s Secret models cuz they are old, detached and busy and don’t realize that that Victoria’s Secret thing has sailed and that even when it was peaking with their marketing by using hot chicks…was still a lame fucking brand…

This is her fitness as she’s out here trying to find other work now that her DREAM is over….

Here she is in her bikini…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Gale|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Samaire Armstrong Bra Top of the Day

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Samaire Armstrong is a Japanese born American Actress…which means that she likes being shit on while being a contestant on Japanese Game Show, or really any of the insane stunts they do on Japanese Game shows cuz that’s her culture bro.

Her dad teaches hand to hand combat to soldiers, so be careful what you say about this 40 year old in a bra for instagram promoting who fucking cares what…

I remember her for being the punky kind of girl that Seth dated when he was on a break with Rachel Bilson…and within my group of men who were too old to be watching The OC, but were watching the OC…we collectively found her hot.

I assume she’s done some other shit, but this bra top is most recent and most relevant for the sake of this site, I’m not LINKEDIN here, I don’t need to be posting her accomplishments when I’m just looking for the tit.

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Posted in:Samaire Armstrong|SFW

2019

18

Dec

Edita Vilkeviciute for Lingerie of the Day

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Edita Vilkeviciute must be very fucking old by now, I feel like we’ve seen her masculine features offset by her huge tits for a really long time at this point, maybe as long as I’ve been running the site, which feels like forever, because it has been forever, and because nothing has really come from it, so I just sit here updating shit no one cares about, writing words no one cares about, that google doesn’t appreciate because I am not an indian coder who knows how to hack the google algorithm with properly written for google articles, and really I could be replaced with a script or a BOT and no one would know….it’d be like “INSERT CELEB NAME” is a whore, just look at her be a “whore”….doing “whore things” like a “whore”. This shoot is for “who the fuck cares”….look at her tits, if you can’t see tit, look at her ass, if you can’t see ass…write to the site admin as there has been a glitch in the auto-updater we paid 200 dollars to build so that the site admin can spend more time on his couch doing nothing…..

THAT SAID, like all women, they aren’t giving up, they keep bringing it, and it’s appropriate for this shoot, since it is a Victoria’s Secret collab with a hipster brand, just struggling to be relevant as they are dying off….while Edita is literally dying off…she must be at senior discount age by now…

FUN that grannys can still get half naked…

Posted in:Edita Vilkeviciute

2019

18

Dec

Carla Guetta in the Kitchen of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking, and that is that this CARLA GUETTA in the Kitchen is some HOTNESS…becasue women belong in the kitchen, at least according to the traditional gender roles you were brought up with, and even if you didn’t have that NUCLEAR family, and your mom was out there working the streets like the whore that she is, you would have liked her to be that stay at home mom you saw in the movies, but instead you saw her wither away for whatever unappreciative company she’d slave for, only to die prematurely….when if she got to relax and run the household like the QUEEN that she was….she’d still be with us today….if only she was in the Kitched where she belonged…instead of out there trying to get work and be equals to men…instead of being the prize men take care of…..in exchange for them taking care of the house…women have that distorted concept that taking care of your family as a full time job is a bad thing…or that it is repressive…when really it’s what keeps marriages happy, it is what establishes a mutual respect, men are coded to care for their home by providing for them and women are coded to take care of their family without having to worry about putting meat on the table…OUR SOCIETY was built on this…but now there’s a power dynamic, where nothing gets done, cuz women were bored of staying home and now want to sit in offices all day while their kids are out there snorting meth…get it together idiots.

ANYWAYS.. I assume this Carla Guetta is David Guetta’s daughter, since all the celebrity DJ millionaires are in their mid 40s and would have hot 20 year old daughters, but I guess she could also be his wife…..reminding us how hot it can be for a bitch to be in the kitchen…house-wifing-.

Posted in:Carla Guetta

2019

18

Dec

Noah Cyrus Slutty of the Day

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Noah Cyrus posted up some pics of her faking out a flash to show how wild she is…and no one cared…because she’s not Miley so no one cares…and even if she attempts to flash the world next to some overpriced classic car…she’s not even a close enough resemblance to MILEY CYRUS like the sister who went to space and looks like a CYRUS but a little off…she is just the sister with a genetic defect that would have been kept in the basement if she wasn’t from such a high profile family with a potential target on their heads that could get them arrested for keeping her in the basement…you know the baby that didn’t quite get all the nutrients it needed because the mom was too busy with their actual daughter back when she was pregnant and this one was sort of an STD that survived…

ANYWAY…flashing pics…so edgy.

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Posted in:noah cyrus|SFW