DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2019

21

Oct

Rita Ora Chaps Erotica of the Day

Rita Ora is so boring

There is a reason it took her 100 fucking years to get famous after fucking a Kardashian. I mean it wasn’t quite 100 fucking years, but I am sure it felt like it was, it’s probably been closer to 10 years, but still a fucking eternity for someone with such great tits…and a record deal…and all the right connections and invites…

The fact it took a decade with all odds in her favor…is just a testament of how not compelling she is…I’ve seen girls get famous for far fucking less way fucking quicker…so maybe she should dwell on that instead of finally making it because we need her to remember how inadequate she is.

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Sarah Hyland Pussy Flash of the Day

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Sarah Hyland creeps me out. She has since she first showed up on TV, and in the paparazzi as things progress when you’re on a hit show.

I have facial recognition blindness for a fact, which is hard to explain, but basically everyone I look at looks kind of the same…and I can’t recognize them even family members, so I make associations for people, so from the first time I saw her, I just assumed she had that Benjamin Button Disease…”progeria”…it is how I could recognize her.

If you watched trash Tv in the 90s, you’ll remember those 7 year olds who were born looking like a child version of a senior citizen.

So I couldn’t really vibe on her, without wanting to puke….and I guess I was kind of right, she did have a genetic disease, has had two Kidney transplants, and looks like she weights 50 lbs…on some pre-mature preemie baby…grown up…

Like there is no way this bitch doesn’t sleep in an incubator at night…so now that she sexualizes herself…it is creepy.

Here are her hard nipples in a tight white shirt

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Posted in:Sarah Hyland|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Sarah Michelle Gellar Lingerie of the Day

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Sarah Michelle Gellar has seen Kristen Bell making a comeback…so…I guess she figures she can try it out too..

They are both in their early 40s, for the longest time I thought they were the same person, and since these sluts are all so competitive….

So they figure there is life after 30….and the industry has figured out that they all need social media to make money….like Jen Aniston breaking Instagram last week by signing up cuz even She needs an IG account to matter…it’s a new Horrible world…where celebs need to be relatable instead of untouchable…

But with social media accounds comes slut behaviour cuz all these celebs are sluts…

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Posted in:Sarah Michelle Gellar|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Sela Vave Nipples of the Day

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Sela Vave is Jamie Foxx’s girlfriend and I like her outfit choice to make the most out of this hook-up.

The new Katie Holmes will make the racist Katie Holmes fans out there happy, because he’s not tainting their white woman anymore….racists think like that…even dudes who don’t think they are racists get upset when they find out their white woman has had black cock….or like seeing big black cock in their white women…because they hate it so much….white people are confusing.

…not that Katie Holmes is an official white woman. There is little to no proof that she’s even human….not a robot…built in some Scientology basement lab pussy all to cater to Tom Cruise as a high profile membership….without exposing his homosexuality….so who knows whether she has a built in dick…..

But this new one with her brown skin got some tits….and big nipples for ya’ll to stare at. It’s a key ingredient to making the most out of fucking celeb cock.

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Posted in:Sela Vave

2019

21

Oct

Suki Waterhouse Pussy Print of the Day

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I figure that since I did a post on IRINA SHAYK’s vagina, I should do one on
Suki Waterhouse…..Because Brad Cooper was cast in Suki’s marketing of herself back when she decided to go into acting, after an uneventful model career…she paid him with pussy…but I guess he figured her tactics out….and ditched her for the much hotter Irina Shayk…who was so committed to the cause like a Russian would be…no ways she’s going back to War Torn Slovenia or wherever the fuck she’s from….that she sacrificed her vagina….

So now Suki’s moving in, being like “I got my unscathed, not a mom yet pussy, and you’re welcome to come home daddy”…..only it is scathed….all famous pussy is scathed or scabbed…same same…

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Posted in:SFW|Suki Waterhouse

2019

21

Oct

Irina Shayk Boring me to Death in a Silk Dress of the Day

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Irina Shayk braless in a silk dress with a high slit, boring.

Speaking of High Slit, she was smart enough to use he slit on likely high Brad Cooper…you know all celebs are addicts…

Shit that Russian imports are willing to put up with, since it is not nearly as bad as what Russian women are used to putting up with, you know by being Russian to bein with…..

So despite all the bad press dude had from other women, mainly his ex wife…he was a big enough star to send tabloid clippings back home for all of her down to see how far little Irina had gone in America….

So he came in her enough to knock her up, and now she’s an older looking, more damaged, mom pussy in her 30s, than the hot model taking over who she was before Brad Cooper entered her uterus…but she’s got guaranteed income the next 18 years which helps her budgeting – so that’s nice….I guess.

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Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Jessica Szohr Bra and Panties and Face of the Day

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Jessica Szohr who reminds me of Herpes because of how you pronounce her weird name, but also because she for sure has them….is out promoting bras because a girl needs to make a living…and tits help…

She was on Gossip Girl, she didn’t get the career that her Co-Star Blake Lively got, it could have something to do with her face being terrifying…but she still has been on some shit, and she still gets acting work at 35 years old, in things like Kingdom (never met it) and Orville (never met it – unless they mean the Microwave popcorn, in which case, I fucked that shit last night….but they don’t mean that popcorn…)…nothing relevant…

She says she is from Wisconsin, that she is half black / half Hungarian….has 22 tattoos and some I guess some titties…

This is pretty lame, but as a 35 year old has been, what do you expect….

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Posted in:Jessica Szohr|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Josephine Skriver Still Hot in a Bikini of the Day

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Josephine Skriver is hot in Bathing Suits cuz she was created in a lab…as a reverse abortion…make life from nothing, instead of ending life from sluts who like cum in them while not on Birth Control….

I am not a religious man, so I don’t know if jerking off requires an end goal to Christians, but I figure it must be confusing for a religious person who is taught that a man should not masturbate.

I guess they see it as a wasted load, since no attempts at breeding are in the mix as you violate yourself to reruns of the Golden Girls or whatever it is that weird religious freaks jerk off to.…

It is spilling your seed for the sole purpose of personal pleasure, which I guess isn’t very Christian at all. There is not SelfCare Sunday in Church motherfuckers…that’s just for instagram..which is arguably the new generations couch…what they all live by….but that isn’t really a church..

So I am guessing the religious folk, tempted by all the porn they see are out there making life out of their jerking off, so they give it to lesbians on Craigslist… creating a new fetish of knocking bitches up while creating new life. Masturbate with purpose….for God…

In Josephine Skriver’s case, her dad jerked off and created her, a designer baby thanks to biology…he was a marine biologist…which is way weirder than what you do with your cum…you know smearing it on your chest and/or eating it…but I guess some people are more motivated at jacking off.

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Posted in:Josephine Skriver|SFW

2019

21

Oct

Emily Agnes Nude of the Day

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EMILY AGNES is some Playboy Model from a few years ago who I don’t remember ever hearing of…because Playboy sucks and doesn’t make these instagram sluts famous anymore. It’s all just such low grade garbage.

Not to mention, there are so many sluts out there that it is impossible to keep track of all of them, even if you were so pathetic that you felt inclined to keep on top of all of them, let’s say because you were a Rich LA exec who dates all these low levels, you wouldn’t be able to remember all of them, because so many women get naked on the internet now…a good problem to have I guess…at least when we are losers like us…cuz it’s the only way we’ll see these bitches naked…

Angnes is naked…full cunt exposed like a lady…proving she’s a lady…even though she may identify as a man. We don’t know her and therefore don’t know…

She is known for Dating the little Britain comedian with too much money who was previously married to Lara Stone and who had his lawyers fuck with us over dull honeymoon pics..so fuck that guy and this girl who has been fucked by that guy….

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Posted in:Emily Agnes

2019

21

Oct

Eiza Gonzalez Panty Flash of the Day

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Eiza Gonzalez is some pussy that was Josh Duhamel’s new pussy after years of being married to Fergie who is likely without a pussy, because those Meth Addicts are always the mentally unstable ones who may or may not be trans…..

Before trans was a preschool issue, you know tell your kid who just stopped wetting the bed that he can live his life as a girl, all he needs to do is take these hormones, so that the family can feel progressive and part of the narrative of social media….and before trans was a high school issue for the weird kids trying to find a community to be a part of…it was a thing of drug addict prostitutes like Fergie..

Not that this is about Fergie, just about her husband’s comeback to pussy, his pussy homecoming, unless of course this one is trans too…can’t tell cuz panties are in the way