Spring Break Forever motherfuckers..

I don’t know if Spring Break is still going on, but it’s gotta be, since Spring Break Forever motherfuckers..

I do know that Spring Break is inspiring, a time to strip down all your winter depression and down as much alochol as possible, in efforts to get some fucking AIDS or some shit…it’s not a death sentence…

I do know that even when you’re an old married fuck, you can strategically plan your Spring Break trip around young hot college girls in bikinis…and you’ll be entertained in your fold out beach chair you got at Costco or at the community Bingo last summer, too old to get noticed by the bikini girls, making your creeping on them a stealth operation….

I also know that whether you Spring Break or just Jerk off to Spring Break content or not, you should probably do it while wearing a HANGOVER PATCH ….not the most conventional cure to a hangover but hey if it helps you fight off that 72 hour hangover it’s worth a try…cuz hangovers suck.

Just yesterday I drank a bottle of sour tasting wine, that I wondered whether I lost my taste for wine, of it it was just rancid….only to have the gnarliest (that’s spring break talk for craziest) hangover ever…I was fucking puking, shitting fire, and migrained yesterday…..because I wasn’t wearing my hangover patch and or because I am dying thanks to hard living all these years..

Point being, don’t be like me in any aspect of your life…Look at me and see all that is wrong with the world…listen to my advice that comes from experience at failing at life…use me as an inspiration as to how not to act….But listen to me when I say….try the hangover patch, because I didn’t, and I got sick….

So GET YOURS NOW ….we’re offering a PROMO….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

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