DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

31

May

Lucy Hale Pissing in a Bikini of the Day

Lucy Hale Pissing on an Orphan was the alternate title of this masterpiece starring the big star from Pretty Little Liars who has gone onto instagram celebrity, but more interesting, a new CW show…that does not involved pissing on black midgets, that’s just what she does in her spare time.

These Hollywood Types will do anything to get noticed, but more importantly, have real weird fucking fetishes, because I guess the standard fucking is too boring for their over the top – performance based – A-Personalities…

WHO knows, not me…I got no answers…just the weird fucking pic.

Posted in:Lucy Hale|SFW

2018

31

May

Emma Stone Tits Fucking Justin Theroux of the Day

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Emma Stone is a very highly paid actress…something I will never understand because her face annoys the fuck out of me. Her mouth annoys the fuck out of me. She annoys the fuck out of me…and really she’s not even good in movies…I don’t know what created all the hype, or why people are into her, or what made her exist…even that Oscar she won was a full fucking scam. Her singing was shit, her dancing was shit, if I want to see some quirky nerdy girl doing song and dance, I don’t need it to be some huge hollywood budget, hyped up nonsense…with a WEAK story that for some reason people celebrated. Probably the “LAUGH TRACK” theory of tell people to laugh and they laugh, tell them it’s good and it’s good…

Either way, she’s a homewrecker, along with Oscar winner for a movie role that sucked, as all her movie roles suck, while she fumbles with her lines due to her mouth and it’s speech impediment…and she’s now fucking Jennifer Aniston’s ex, because I guess Jennifer Aniston has her own qualities about her that make people run from her, when we can collectively agree all female actors with success are cunts…

Cunts that have tits, and here’s her tits…

Posted in:Emma Stone|SFW

2018

31

May

Halsey on Her Black Agenda of the Day

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Halsey has seen some real success as a girl who fucks DJS, and gets them to make songs with her, that lead to huge success riding their coattails / dicks…

Recently she’s started marketing that she’s black, because she is black, but wants everyone to know, with this letting the people know she’s black…it’s an angle, that got people talking because it seems so exploitative… racist in and of itself by labelling herself…

It’s almost like she’s DRAKE, really tying to get as famous as she can for being black..

To quote the great PUSHA T….in reference to DRAKE…

“always thought you weren’t black enough, scared to grow your hair out cuz it’s not NAP enough”

So Here she is on her black life….

Posted in:Halsey|SFW

2018

31

May

Rumer Willis Tits of the Day

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Rumer has it the Rumer Willis still has her dick…

It’s kind of confusing that in this era of hipster, artist, trust fund weridos who don’t need to work and who have a following because of their parents, allowing them to play the naked or half naked sisters from Idaho mountains, so detached from LA as a whole, even though they are pure fucking LA, the most LA, you’d think she’d be embracing her dick..Gender bending is trendy and do anything you can to get noticed besides for being Bruce and Demi’s failed abortion.

Instead she posts tits, and a newly restructured face, with her hard features shaved down…looking better than ever…tits out…

It’s the magic of the modern face injections, you can really be whatever you want to be, including hot…with the right amount of face injection.

Posted in:Rumer Willis|SFW

2018

31

May

Dua Lipa Nipples of the Day

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Oops …

I wrote a post on Charli XCX’s nipples – but turns out they are DUA LIPA’s nipples…because I am so old, disconnected, unaware of what is going on in pop culture…

Just a few hours ago, a friend asked me “what’s the latest viral trend” and I said “I’m not 15, I hate social media, I don’t fucking care”….

The only viral trend I know and see is a bunch of fucking people trying to get as famous as possible doing the least amount of work they can…and seeing it working for them…

Everyone is an influencer, even people producing porn, it’s where everything lives…

So knowing what nipples I look at, on two fame whores, one a youtuber the other a who the fuck knows, while this one’s the youtuber..is impossible…I don’t stand a chance..

Plus I have a real life facial recognition blindness, that comes with not caring, but literally exists cuz I don’t recognize friends or my wife…due to trauma maybe…it’s like I see people I’ve known forever and I’m like “oh that’s what you look like”…it’s a condition….that I won’t use as an excuse for my terrible blogging and reporting on nipples, when I should do better…with a site like DrunkenStepfather, written by a dyslexic, you’d expect better….

I will stick to not caring, I see tits everyday, they’re tits, who cares.

UPDATE IT IS Charli XCX’s nipples

Posted in:Dua Lipa

2018

31

May

Selma Blair in a Bikini Erotica of the Day

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What you probably don’t realize, because she hasn’t made all that much noise career-wise the last decade, is that Selma Blair, mom and star of such classic movies as Cruel Intentions, is that she’s actually 45 years old….

What you also probably didn’t realize is that these old timers, were once young sluts, that’s how they got on TV in the first place, and they KNOW the importance of whoring out to matter.

They also know that as actors they must look as good as possible, and never get themselves fat…unless they are known for being fat..so she’s done a good job of that….

And I guess the bikini pics, just tie into the marketing and self promotion, a non fat woman who feels her sex appeal leaving her as she goes through menopause…really attempting to have dudes jerk off to her by sexualizing herself half naked. ..which is how I interpret this “just showing off my dive” pic we really didn’t need to ever see, but are seeing cuz she wants you to…and because clearly I’m a Selma Blair fan who likes repurposing her porn.

Posted in:Selma Blair|SFW

2018

31

May

Ashley Tisdale Ass in Shorts of the Day

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It may have taken Ashley Tisdale decades to figure out her best angle…but as it turns out…this is her best angle…

Long time coming….long time to realize, even after all the years of dudes only fuckin her from behind, she just thought it was the way dudes liked it…not the way dudes liked it with her…because she is a monster…but I guess no one likes admitting they are just the ass….

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|SFW

2018

31

May

Charli XCX Nipples of the Day

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Charli XCX flashed her tits in a see through bra…because no one knows who Charli XCX is, or why her name is so fucking stupid, but if she keeps on doing this and maybe they will…

That is the logic….and a it works! Everyone so mindless this is the equivalent of a laugh track on sitcom…

HEY RETARDS LAUGH NOW – on the nipple version

Posted in:Charli XCX

2018

31

May

Liz Hurley Still Bikinis of the Day

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Remember that legend, that icon, that super star Liz Hurley…the kind of old truck you’d hang your prosthetic balls off of?

Yes…that Liz Hurley….

Well she is out in a bikini, as a reminder that she exists, because it’s been about 3-5 days since her last bikini pic reminded us that she existed, her goal in life is to not fade out…because I guess she feels she is important and needs to be honored and remembered through jerking off to her…

Posted in:Liz Hurley|SFW

2018

31

May

Michelle Monaghan Gravity tactics for Booty Shots of the Day

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Michelle Monaghan figured out the whole gravity thing the flat earthers deny…now the world just needs to come together and figure out who Michelle Monaghan is….

One of the biggest mysteries of our modern times…that no one cares about.

Posted in:Michelle Monaghan|SFW