DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2018

29

Mar

Maitland Ward Nightmare of the Day

The realization that Maitland Ward, the clickbaiter who rode her fame from Boy Meets World, becoming an official sex worker since launching her patreon, rather than just a low level attention seeker with terrible content, like the WORST photos, straight from the 90s photos, back when she may have had 5 mins of fame, yellow tinted and disgusting…has been pretty depressing…

It makes no sense that a 40 year old fat chick who no one should want to see naked, has amassed 40k a month from weird as fuck fans, who now she is forced to produce smut for…on the regular…to keep them in…she doesn’t want to lose this..it’s more money than what she made when she was peaking as an actress in 1990…

The internet remains a weird fucking place, that I haven’t figured out how to master to make money for my damn self…because I guess the real retard in all this is me…

Posted in:Maitland Ward

2018

29

Mar

Elle Fanning’s Ass in a Demin Jumpsuit of the Day

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Elle Fanning is in a jumpsuit, a good old one piece denim outfit, that is straight from 2005 stripper fashions, at least based on my experience with this outfit, that was all the rage in 2005….and that I have very fond and even terrifying memories of…

If you’d go to a club, this was the look, tits out of the top, cameltoe in the front…the demin jumpsuit was the star of the fucking show…it may have even been something in a J.Lo video, I don’t know where these girls get inspired by, I just know it happened..

Well, I remember a good friend of mine decided to go from car salesman to stripper because the money was easier and more fun to get, why sell Toyota’s when you can let dudes grab your big tits for money….and she was finding her place in the world, touring city to city, only to ask to come to Montreal, the Mecca of trashy stripclubs, and stay with me….

I wasn’t fucking her, I mean to this day I have never even seen her tits, but she’d hang out during the day, then hit up the strip clubs at night, and come back when she was done…and she spent probably three weeks doing this….and in those three weeks, while I wasn’t seeing tits, or pussy, or getting lap dances or blowjobs…she wore her one jump suit, exactly like this jump suit…EVERY single day….with no underwear…for 3 weeks….often times unshowered…and I thought that jump suit must smell like shit…and one day, while she was at work, she left the jump suit behind…and staring me in the face..was this demin outfit I knew lived in her pussy for most of the time she was visiting…I had to face my fears…my disgust…and sniff it…and I did….and I’ve never quite been the same since..

Thanks for the PTSD trigger FANNING you assshole..

TO SEE THE REST OF The PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Uncategorized

2018

29

Mar

Liv Tyler in Lingerie of the Day

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Why the fuck is Liv Tyler wearing lingerie..

I mean it’s not 1995 and she didn’t just discover that her dad is a famous rockstar who she can leverage for a bullshit modeling career than turned into an acting career..

She’s done all that…and basically disappeared…only to come back as the old lady in panties…

Aren’t there cut off dates for this shit, I mean even if you’re selling panties to grannies, you’d probably want to avoid being so literal by getting the grannies in panties…

Seriously..

Posted in:Liv Tyler|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Camila Mendes Booty Broke Her Pants of the Day

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I have watched at least every episode of Riverdale, because I’m a weirdo into those teen dramas that are the fucking worst….

This show is so unlikeable, a disgrace to the comics we all grew up on, instead of wholesome small town with 1950s values…..

It is terribly written, the characters unlikeable, there’s no comedy…the girls aren’t hot at all…but this one is the fucking worst…with her thick, no neck, who speaks to being an inclusive cast….playing the hispanic who is terrible at being hispanic..but that now probably has a huge ego thanks to the success of the show…

This is her clickbait…

Posted in:Camila Mendes|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Brooke Burke Bikini of the Day

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Brooke Burke is one of those non-celebrities, that I’ve actually got hate mail because of something I wrote on her…I’ve had my site hacked cuz of her…and I was so confused because she’s Brooke Burke, a bikini, possibly playboy bootleg Carmen Electra looking trash who is only known for being the fit bust tiny thing that was popular in the late 90s…she hosted a TV show where she traveled the world in a bikini going to lame parties.. yet people fucking care…

People fucking care….so look at her….in her instagram smut, too old, yet never too old to be a travel blogger bikini whoring….

Posted in:Brooke Burke|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Anastacia Dancing With the Stars Pussy Flash of the Day

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Anastacia is some 48 year old American singer – who I think had more international fame than local fame – but I don’t really remember – because I can’t think of one Anastacia song….

She’s a 48 year old dancing on some show…not showing off her breast cancer stars…because she had breast cancer in 2003, then she had it again in 2013 – she is a survivor who I guess decided to go for the chop – and get the double mastectomy – because fuck that nois – who wants to deal with cancer coming back over and over – plus you can always get breast implants to still feel like like you have tits –

But she’s still got a pussy….which is what we are all into….unless they are homos…because tits don’t make the woman…vagina does…so flash it…

Posted in:Anastacia|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Adrienne Bailon Vacation Thickness of the Day

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I only make fun of celebrities…because I think everyday girls who don’t necessarily aspire to be famous…and even if they do aspire to be famous but aren’t famous…are ok…even if they are awkwardly shaped…it’s the ones who make millions off their shit that make me mad…

That’s the general misconception the lesbians don’t understand about what I do…I tear apart bitches who have won the lottery…I don’t hit instagram and tell off everyday girls and make fun of their GUNTS, or their Sloppy tits, or their cellulite ass…because they aren’t marketed as being perfect celebrities or reaping the rewards…

So despite this Adrienne Bailon having a wikipedia, she’s in her 30s, and pretty much probably makes less money than you for her “celebrity”…slotting her into a normal…at a charity…in a bathing suit…and we like charitable people helping the world…especially when it requires stripping down and getting wet…

Posted in:Adrienne Bailon|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Elsa Hosk’s Nipple on Instagram of the DAy

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Six days ago, the Victoria’s Secret photographer who I think has been labeled a creeper pervert, named Russel James, who has made a career of taking pics of these girls, naked or half naked for Victoria’s Secret and I guess himself…

Posted 1/10th of Elsa Hosk’s nipple, in a virtual trivia game, or maybe memory game…quizzing people to answer who this was…

The majority of his pervert followers thought it was CANDICE, which makes sense because Candice was replaced by Elsa Hosk, she was their stand in for her, the same age as her, never as famous as her, but taking some of the workload of Candice…so she can raise her many kids…

BUT IT WAS ELSA HOSK…oh the trickery..

Her’s a video of her for some other unrelated bullshit..

Posted in:Elsa Hosk

2018

29

Mar

Halsey’s Butt – a Retrospective of the Day

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Halsey is the crackhead party girl who I guess groupied on the right the DJ Producer at her local club, because if you’ve ever partied over the last 15 years when all these raver DJs became really stupid rich and famous, you will know that they have an inner circle of local pussy, that become their friends, and that visit them at concerts around the country, or festivals, who the DJs and producers potentially fuck….or just jerk off on because they have wives at home…

I know so many girls who have fucked these guys…often times the same girls with different DJs, and I guess sometimes they get to scam their way onto one of their tracks as a vocalist, it’s the easiest way in…

So that they can be famous and a party girl at a higher level…all because the played their cards right and now have a record deal of their own…..

Halsey…is in a bikini bottom showing off her ass….not a great ass…a pretty unfit ass..but an ASS never the less…

Oh and she’s with JOSIE CANSECO – JOSE’s Daughter…winning at life I guess

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Halsey|SFW

2018

29

Mar

Bebe Rexha Booty of the Day

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Bebe Rexha, who defies all logic, by showcasing to us that she is not REXIA at all, but fat assed and in a thong bathing suit winning at life…

She’s apparently famous, attending all the important events and award shows, despite no one knowing who she is, making her just another click baiter…who has some level of success far greater than most people who wish they were at all the important places this one goes…like this hot tub…where her big ass is somethign you’d likely want to suffocate on because it’s an ass on a girl…and that’s your dream…it’s all of our dream…

Posted in:Bebe Rexha|SFW