DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

06

Sep

Elle Fanning Bra Top of the Day

Elle Fanning is boring, but at least she’s in a bikini top, or bra top, or whatever top this is that shows off her little skinny body…a body that her parents created and properly executed as the backup…the stand in…the “shadow”…the “understudy” to her sister who was exploited so hard they knew she’d go off the fucking rails eventually, but the family ego needed to perpetuate the empire they built…so they created this one…

Less creepy, cuter, loved by the fashion industry and hollywood, she’s got that legit career, while her sister is still seen as that annoying child star who creeped all us motherfuckers out…

Posted in:Elle Fanning|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Elizabeth Banks Bathing Suit of the Day

No Comments »

Elizabeth Banks is very fucking rich…

She was a nothing actress who no one cared about and who had countless roles that were hardly memorable…but who was famous enough to hang out in the right places or with the right people and who in turn was able to help put together the Pitch Perfect empire that ended up making her over 100 million dollars…and that will continue to earn her money because it’s just one of those movies…

So it’s only natural to want to look at her in her bathing suit and wonder if she’s still able to get knocked up, or if she’s too old, because that’s the kind of retirement plan that would be nice, provided she’s not as annoying as she is in her acting roles…

Funny cute chicks don’t appeal to me…but clearly they appeal to someone…

Posted in:Elizabeth Banks|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Poppy Delevingne Nipple of the Day

No Comments »

Poppy Delevingne is Cara’s sister who I think was a more famous model and who invited Cara into her inner modeling world before Cara took it the fuck over with her winning / edgy / lesbian personality….eventually getting into movies and being seen as a legit celeb…while leaving POPPY back home to fend for herself in her modeling, to leverage off her sister’s fame, and to go to red carpet events in sheer dresses, nipple out, so people notice her and so that she still matters…weird.

Posted in:Poppy Delevingne

2017

06

Sep

Kaley Cuoco’s Bathing Suit of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t find Kaley Cuoco hot but she’s rich…

I do find it sad that she killed John Ritter, who after watching IT featuring Seth Green this past weekend, prepping for IT featuring who the fuck cares this weekend seeing as I won’t be going to see it, pretty sad….because John Ritter was a great average at best talent..but a likeable guy…who would probably still be with us if this girl in her mid 20s when he died didn’t contribute to his heart failure while rocking some slutty 90s outfit…

They were on a show together, you see there is life before Big Bang Theory, it just didn’t pay as much…but not much does..girl’s going to have over 100 million from the last few years alone and that’s just absurd…considering she’s not that hot, not that talented, but I guess sucking John Ritter Jack Tripper soul…gave her the power to make it…WHO KNOWS…or cares..

She’s in a bathing suit with her dude, possibly her brother, but assuming it’s a lover…or husband or boyfriend…I don’t watch Big Bang Theory or care about Kaley Cuoco…but you do…so here.

Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Nicole Scherzinger Instagram Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I thought Nicole Scherzinger was a man…

I was really convinced that Nicole Scherzinger was a man…

I have seen drag queens and trannies…sometimes in the men’s bathroom at gay bar on BEAR night….and she was on par…her hard face…her over the top dramatics and performance…her whole existence screamed chick with dick…trying to play a woman…

But then I saw her pussy and realized some women are just hard faced…manly and jacked up on fillers and botox to look like some kind of Kardashian stripper…it’s a real thing…

Posted in:Nicole Scherzinger|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Kirsten Dunst Promo Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Kirsten Dunst is at the Venice Film festival…because she’s Kirsten Dunst and was borderline dead in terms of health and career after her first round of a career as an actress peaked..and she fell off….only to get back up, possibly because she was out of money, or because some fan boy finally became an exec and was like “Where’s Kirsten Dunst Now, Let’s put her in this thing I wrote for her when I was 18 and she mattered”….and whatever it is that happened..she’s not dead from her hard partying..but instead at film festivals promoting celebrated movie roles she may be in….I wouldn’t know…I don’t keep track of her…but I do remember when she was at rock bottom, and I do remmeber finding it substantially hotter than this haggard version of KD in her “adult serious actor years”…

Great big tits on a small enough, despite being middle aged now…frame…right..

Posted in:Kirsten Dunst|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Rita Ora and Charlie XCX Compare Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Rita Ora and Charlie XCX Compare TIts because they are both irrelevant slags from the UK with big tits…ethnically ambiguous…trying to make it in America…almost in it together….or hating each other because there is only enough room for one of them…despite my life’s research into tits dictating that there is always enough room for more big tits….

I am not sure if this is a bonding photo of “we are both the same”….or a catty photo of “I’m hotter than you bitch, get off my fucking coattails”….or a accidental photo….I just know they are both equally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, while Rita Ora is more successful that XCX, so clearly this is one girl following another girl’s titty lead…and the other girl trying to say “I’m the OG, I’m the official, I’m the innovator, I am the UK tits, this other one in the blue dress is just trash….like last nights Banger’s and mash”…

Who cares…seriously..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE OF ORA… CLICK HERE

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PiCS OF XCX CLICK HERE

Here’s Rita Ora in a Slutty Satin Outfit….

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Emma Roberts and Anna Faris are Dating of the Day

No Comments »

Anna Faris is recently divorced, or getting divorced, from her husband of many years who has suddenly become famous or as famous as he always wanted to be and has no need to leverage a hot wife to give him credibility…you know the checks are coming in and new pussy is out there to fuck….why waste time on an old hag who is pretty fucking hot..but banged out and not new pussy…because new pussy is always better..

Leaving her all old, her prime years behind her, disenchanted and cock-hating….forcing her to become a lesbian in a lesbian relationship with Emma Roberts…like she was Stella Maxwell because pUSSY tastes good tho…

There may be no fact to this story.

Posted in:Anna Faris|Emma Roberts|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Fat Girl Kelly Brook VS Ashely Graham in the BBW Fat Chick Trying to Be Hot Post of the Day

No Comments »

Fat chicks have always existed. In Africa, the fat chick was deemed the most fertile and all the men in the tribe wanted to knock her up, because the chances of her surviving a famine and the pregnancy were higher….In Europe and America…the fat chick was just laughed at, fucked when drunk at 3 am when options were limited, and occassionally stars of fetish porn, because some weirdos are into fat girls, mainly for their tits….

The plus sized model thing happened and people like Anna Nicole Smith, Mamma Cass, whoever the fuck else has been seen as fat, like a Marilyn Monroe, who weighed in at a WHOPPING 118 pounds for her 5 foot 5 frame…

But now.. fat chicks are fucking everywhere, the world is obese, unhealthy, on medication for Chronic illness and some fat chicks like Kelly Brook, known for her fat tits, who polarized being a fat chick…now can embrace and accept being fat…thanks to being 40 and clearly a fat chick…because the world is embracing fat…even giving job to fat chicks instead of skinny chicks….like it takes effort to be fat, effort beyond struggling up the stairs…

She’s already Pushing her 2018 Calendar of the Day – photoshopped

While people like Ashley Graham, a real fatty, in this HUGELY popular massive shit taking, heavy eating, pretending she’s healthy, trying to be skinny, fatty…continue to perpetuate the plus size scam…probably because they are seeded to the world by the pharma industry that wants people fat and sick…WHO Knows…

And that concludes my token fat post of the day in a world that is too fat….

Posted in:Ashley Graham|Kelly Brook|SFW

2017

06

Sep

Jennifer Lawrence Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

Jennifer Lawrence is the ultimate scam of this generation…

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, I have no idea why she’s so fucking hyped up…but for some reason, she’s so fucking hyped up….

Her movie performances are boring…but I guess accessible…as she always plays the same character…sometimes peppered with a bad accent…but always uninteresting…in her tactics to be the highest paid actress in Hollywood and coming close to it….

I’ve asked people in the industry / a dude who works the popcorn at the Movie Theater, the closest thing I have to access, he hooks me up with large size for the price of small and has once got me a TICKET to a movie….and he said it’s all just to keep budgets high so people make more…off the film….and that natural talent doesn’t exist…

But I do like her tits, I’ve seen them in the nude leaks, and they were great…and here they are in a semi-sheer dress also great…but not as great as the scam she’s pulling as a credible actress you know…since the rest of her isn’t even that cute…

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|SFW