DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

08

Mar

Alexis Ren Gets New Tits of the Day

Alexis Ren and her fake instagram boyfriend were a couple of young, vapid, dumb as fuck idiots…but clever enough to find a really cheesy angle, being the instagram couple every fat chick aspired to be, getting them tons of press, making them go viral, giving her a sense that her celebrity was legit and lasting, and that people actually cared about her…..but bitch didn’t realize it’s instagram and not TV…there’s no emotional connection to a photo of an 18 year old’s ass and average face no matter how much it makes perverts like me cry that we don’t get asses like that…IF you know what I mean…it’s fleeting, it’s not real, it’s dumb….it’s cheap and it’s easy…which I guess Alexis Ren is….

So brands threw money at them, they rode high….and then they broke up..and the one-trick trick hustle faded….forcing her and her insecurities to figure out a new tactic…so she jacked up her face with injections….and more interestingly bought herself some porn tits…which is fine since she’s clearly an exhibitionist slut who gets out there due to her use of her pussy and appearance…but is hilarious that she’s so young and already going down that low level, gutter, fake titty stripper road….all while there was nothing wrong with her small tits, she didn’t need DD tits….we’re all only interested in her ass anyway tits..

I guess I like when girls are so stupid to think tits are the answer….the only way to keep the momentum up…while no one even noticed the new tits..because she really doesn’t fucking matter….

I guess all her instagram money….allows her to prove she’s a fake bitch in all she does or has done….right…here’s a glimpse at her jacked up face and new big titties…

What are these cheesy fucking poses…how embarrassing…

Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Beate Muska Nude of the Day

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Beate Muska is the future..I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again..as I keep seeing more and more nude pics or shoots of her come up…shoots I am a fan of because she looks amazing and if you’re going to work your way into being the next Victoria’s Secret girl, you migh as well do it through nude shoots I can reference once she makes it, and jerk off to…like old times…

I don’t know much about her, but I assume she’s European…with a name like BEATE..for a man who eats BEETS just to see if I pee red….in a world that’s all about beats…whether they are by Dre or Diplo…for shitty pop acts..she’s just current on all fronts…

She’s only got 30,000 instagram followers, but if she keeps this up, she’s gonna get to where she needs to be because sometimes cream floats to the top in the TEET that is social media whores getting naked…in efforts to win at life…with work, money, dudes they fuck…thanks to their vaginas…

Posted in:Beate Muska

2017

08

Mar

Kendall Jenner’s Weird Shaped Body Takes a Traditional Selfie of the Day

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Kendall Jenner posted this picture of herself taking a traditional selfie with a film camera in the mirror like it was the 50s and 60s…in an era pre iPhone..or instagram…where people like Kendall Jenner would probably not exist, or be hit celebrities, or average looking girls the industry pretend are models, because they want the followers she’s got to buy their shit…and if the world thinks she matters who are they to fight it…..

She’s got some weird shaped body, typical Kardashian, where nothing is real but the money they scam…and I don’t find her hot or interesting, or standout at all…

Here she is in some “I am a Woman”….for Women’s Day…because W Magazine knows how to Pander….this needs to be Parodied it’s so bad…but I’ve posted it 3 times thanks to women’s day being such a dumb frucking concept….especially when puppet’s like Kendall actually think they are progressing the woman species…when really they are just exploitative tabloid cunts about it…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Lily Rose Depp Skinny Weird Shaped Body of the DAy

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Have you ever seen a skinny handicapped person with what could be Cerebral Palsy but is probably some other retardation walk down the street all crooked and limpy…and when you look at their legs, they are these skinny, cogged out, and weird things….

Well that’s what’s going on here..all gimpy, look like it needs a walker, but maybe it’s just the angle, cuz girl is hot as fuck…a little Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, all in the scene, being a model, despite being short…al underage while looking fucking great…in her underwear because she’s half french which means slutty and into being naked and half American who thinks he’s some rockstar artist because I guess in ways he is…and I am a fan…even though she’s probably the fucking worst. Zero cool about her, except maybe the pussy her dad ropes into their private island in the bahamas while his ex wife fucks Elon Musk’s wallet for a change…you know tech billionaires are the new famous actor…..

Posted in:Lily Rose Depp|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Nadeea Volianova Shirt of the Day

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I love that women like this exist…and they all make their way to LA…and the paparazzi figure out who they are and use them for some cheap potential sales because people like sensationalized bullshit…like a woman who is basically out there walking around topless, showing the world her old attention seeking tits, and the only angle she was or the only reason for them caring besides the tits is because she was in one movie…

Her name is Nadeea Volianova, she’s a Russian import who I guess was a mail order bride and stayed behind and she’s got amazing fashion sense….apparently she’s from France and an actual singer…either way, she’s got her marketing worked out and I appreciate it.

She’s got a legendarily bad instagram you can see HERE

Posted in:Nadeea Volianova

2017

08

Mar

Pam Anderson Big Fake Tits for Fashion Week of the Day

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Pam Anderson still got fake tits…that she takes out with her when she’s invited to fancy places thanks to being Pam Anderson…and the whole 90s revival..where Tommy Hilfiger and Guess are re-releasing the shirts you wore in High School and despite being a leathery mom….she’s still looking ok…I mean she’s so plastic surgery ridden – how could she look anything but leathery and amazing…there’s not much give left in her skin, and her tits are probably her 5th upgrade…making them as youthful as you’d want in tits, it’s the pussy I’d be most concerned with though….a pussy I remember jerking off to back in the Honeymoon Tape years…they were wonderful times….

Posted in:Pam Anderson|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Sara Sampaio in GQ Italia of the DAy

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Sara Sampaio is in GQ Italia because she’s so fucking Euro…and they have her posing with what looks like a Ferrari or some shit because they are so fuckign Italian…and their pride, besides pizza and pasta and half of the cast of The Jersey Shore….is their goddamn cars…

Sampaio…is not Italian, but apparently portuguese and thus able to live and work in Italy due to her EURO passport….but she’s too busy taking her skinny body to America to steal all the local jobs from the locals…like all these immigrants do…

This shoot isn’t hot or interesting, but it’s a skinny model bitch who makes over a million a year posing with cars…and somewhere out there someone will be very into it…

The only thing I like about her, besides the tanned skin and the smell of fish lingering from her portuguese past / and / or / her putting things in her vagina that lead to infection…is that she’s skinny…because this getting comfortable fat thing is pretty vile for dudes who don’t like fat chicks…even though I’ve seen this acceptance of being fat happen everytime a woman has a kid…because if you can be a lazy fuck..be the lazy fuck…it’s better than pressuring yourself to be all hot…

Here she is in some “I am a Woman”….for Women’s Day…because W Magazine knows how to Pander….this needs to be Parodied it’s so bad…

Posted in:Sara Sampaio|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Anna Ewers in Creepy Cotton Panties of the Day

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Anna Ewers rhymes with Sewers but isn’t a sewer…at least not in this photoshoot because her thin, cotton panties, reminiscent of the 70s…or an innocent high school girl accidentally flashing you on the bus..you fucking pervert…are pretty fucking clean…no green sludge stains you’d expect from someone like Anna Ewers, who is a real crowd favorite…all in Victoria’s Secret, walking runways, making moves…all for being tall, hot, skinny and rockin’ that stamp of approval

Anna Ewers is German, from Nazi lineage, possibly genetic modification due to Nazi science…but more interestingly…she probably likes being shit on…because…Germans…

Here she is in some “I am a Woman”….for Women’s Day…because W Magazine knows how to Pander….

Posted in:Anna Ewers|SFW

2017

08

Mar

Grace Hartzel by Terry Richardson – Hipster Model Tits of the Day

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Grace Hartzel is a new it girl model, rocking the hipster feminist scene as most girls who get naked are doing because if you’re a slut and you play that it’s for intellectual purposes or to propel the plight of the whore to be something more than just whoring for material goods….it makes getting naked make more sense, even though it’s all you want to do as it requires little effort and for the most part you can sleep in most days and party all night…why not…and in Grace’s case she’s getting more and more attention…she shows more and more pubic hair or armpit hair or whatever the angle to be convincing is…and she’s in these pics for Terry Richardson….proving to you all that it fucking works…

She’s got nice small tits…and it makes for a good time…so look and appreciate her in photo as the rest of her, like when she talks, is probably as tedious as a presentation in a Women’s Study class….

Terry’s back, but these pics are dull as fuck….