DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

25

May

Gillian Anderson as Marilyn Monroe of the Day

I am zero into Gillian Anderson….I never thought Gillian Anderson was hot. I never watched the X Files. I also thought the nerds who thought she was hot were just undersexed perverts and they were..and I realize that those are probably the same people who visit the site…all 3 of you…

I also know that they are loyal….so I figure I’ll give them some Gillian Anderson Cosplay as Marilyn Monroe in whatever movie or TV show she is currently doing…because I know the kind of loyal to Gillian Anderson weirdo will and probably has already come to this….three times….it happens…

But for someone not into Gillian Anderson at her prime, I sure as hell am not into her now…and those hands are something out of the fucking X Files all alien corpses or some shit…that you’d want up in your shit…because as an old man prostate massages are your only orgasm.

Posted in:Gillian Anderson|SFW

2017

25

May

Irina Shayk Mom Ass in Panty-Dress of the Day

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I know that this isn’t really erotic to most, a celebrity wife who is probably not even married, baby momma, who is probably just really strategic…at Cannes doing all the things her access and now higher profile in low level Swimsuit model, who happened to be one of the hottest models to me over the last 4-5 years of a career….which is why her panty outfit…all though typical, conservative for a whore…in a world filled with nipples…

But I find it wonderful…

I don’t know why…it’s dull, red carpet photos…nothing scanadalous here and the whole outfit looks like it’s holding her broken pussy back together…as some new moms need.

But I’m all about it…keep bringing me the Irina content…she represents hope, an inclusive world where Russia and America are friends…and all things good…like being hot enough to seduce rich men…a childhood dream of mine…but not really, rich men can be so annoying…and being rich takes work….so I’ll just stay on my couch…and watch it slowly disintegrate or morph into me…to become the first living couchman…

Dreams…we all have them, Irina Shayk is just better at making them happen due to uterus.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Irina Shayk|SFW

2017

25

May

Bianca Balti’s Nipple on a Photoshoot of the Day

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Bianca Balti is some amazing looking Italian model who has done some Victoria’s Secret shit and who has done some other LINGERIE MODELING shit…and now she’s doing some bikini shit wherever the fuck she’s shooting…and she’s exposed her nipple…

As a model….she’s fucking old, she’s in her mid 30s and a mom and she hasn’t done Victoria’s Secret since 2005…

But she looks good, despite being in her mid 30s – it’s probably the Euro thing as we’ve all seen how fat moms of 2 in America look like…and the whole nipple thing is whatever as we live in a time where nipples are like shirts as they should be…and nipples don’t hold as much excitement when you know 2 babies latched on them…unless she’s more of the party model mom who doesn’t produce milk because she is on a cigarette diet…which in and of itself is pretty hot.

Posted in:Bianca Balti

2017

25

May

Kendall Jenner Bikinis in Cannes of the Day

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I really have nothing interesting to say about Kendall Jenner, because Kendall Jenner is nothing interesting.

Exploited from a really young age, but at least she went into fashion / life of luxury because she was tall and skinny enough…even though I’d be more into her sex tape…

She’s got 81 million followers on Istagram, which is absurd, not so absurd in the world population…and most of it being spam bots from Russia….but that shit is nuts, she’s not going anywhere even if we collectively unfollowed, there would still be 50 million people still there waiting for her next bikini pic…so we’re stuck with her…

You have to give the mom and Ryan Seacrest some credit, I mean what they created is so weird…yet so relevant..and seeing her in a bikini….so overrated…but still top of the shitty family…and for that we don’t necessarily celebrate her…but we can look at the bikini for attention….the way they want us to…because we are all mindless slaves to this shit…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2017

25

May

Anna Christine Speckhart Nipples for Swimwear of the Day

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A day is not a day without some contrived hipster photoshoot – where girls seem to be natural and laid back – just doing their thing with their tits out – whether that is arts or crafts or using a Netty Pot while eating Organic Juices…it is at the point of ridiculous because it’s so fucking contrived…just own you over produced dog shit…Anna Christine Speckhart…whoever you may be….

Tits though….if you can find them….not because small tits deserve small tit jokes…some of my favorite tits are small tits..

Posted in:Anna Christine Speckhart

2017

25

May

Frida Aasen Soaked in Piss in Hipster Pics of the Day

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Frida Aasen is in some campaign and she’s fucking amazing…the pictures are lame, played out, trying too hard on the aggressive piss soak, but she saves the fucking day with her nipples and body…perfect……

Frida Aasen was born in Kristiansand, which seems like some religious amusement park full of bible thumping weirdos, either doing sensationalized evangelical curing of disease, or maybe just a place to repent your sins, including but not limited to jerking off to their 20 year old locals…because they are amazing..

Kristiansand, is unfortunately not a bible thumping weird place for religious freaks, but rather a town in Norway, that creates oddities like this babe…it almost makes me want to convert…

Posted in:Frida Aasen

2017

25

May

Lottie Moss Ass Does Instagram of the Day

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Lottie Moss is not as hot or relevant or interesting as Kate Moss is, but at 19, she’s pretty much doing it right, because kids these days don’t want to pave the way for themselves, that requires work, and other kids don’t want to follow kids who pave the way for themselves, that requires an opinion….when they’ve been trained to just like what they are told to like…it requires less work…but one thing they can all collectively agree on is that instagram followers is a real thing that matters, it’s almost a competition and if you have a name like Moss and a sister like Kate Moss, you fucking milk it, because it’s enough…..throw in some butt shots…and we’ve got social media marketing…butt shots and famous relatives…

Posted in:Lottie Moss|SFW

2017

25

May

Elle Fanning Raging of the Day

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People seem to like Elle Fanning. She’s young. She’s in movies. She’s another one of these kids leveraging her sister’s celebrity to create her own celebrity…I know…exciting…but not as exciting as her at some premiere party in France, where she’s allowed to drink legally and clearly “let loose”…

Point of the story is…there is no point to the story…this is probably all part of her master plan or some kind of scam to sell movie tickets as she’s a puppet…but some of you real fucking weirdos probably find it hot…seeing her nuts in Cannes…like she’s not a robot created to be in movies to make their parents richer and to replace her tired and loose sister…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Elle Fanning|SFW

2017

25

May

Lame Slutty Dance and Other Videos of the Day

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Dude Stuffing Meat in his Pants

Prison Fight Ends with Crazy

Insane Truck Crash

Woman Runs Into Stroller….Twice..

Truck T-Bones another Cra

Florida Truck Fire

Real Life Joker

Dude Trolls the Church

Posted in:stepNEWS|Videos

2017

25

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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My nights may be filled with nude texts from hot girls – who want me to see them naked…but not everything is magical and amazing.

I just accidentally saw the closing scene from some Dirty Dancing live musical performance featuring some fat chick as Baby – and a Jewish accountant as a terrible dancing Patrick Swayze.

What kind of world do we live in where they feel the need to do a televised musical of Dirty Dancing…with people who can’t fucking dance..

Out of all the original stories, or actual real stories out there, what lazy exec said “let’s throw millions at this…

I hate society in general, I mean humans are killing the world, planets, each other,and Dirty Dancing revivals shouldn’t even be on the radar…but it is…

So shit on dead Swayze while further burying the TV relevance. It’s fucked weird.

I only saw one clip, but as someone who has watched Dirty Dancing obsessively, I have no idea why, maybe it’s the abortion scene….for the last 2 decades…this garbage shouldn’t exist..

It was like watching fat tourists performing Dirty Dancing…for jokes…but this was paid heavy….and on tv…yet still less interesting than fat tourists performing Dirty Dancing….I don’t even want to post a clip because I am just feeling raped..

I guess this is why Social Media contiues to win…

So see, I have my struggles from my couch also…and here are some Mornin’ Links…

Katy Perry Risks Getting Blown Up in London
CLICK HERE

Elsa Hosk in a Bikini Hot as Fuck
CLICK HERE

Scared Russian Newscaster
CLICK HERE

Kids Tell Their Parents when they Lost their Virginity..
CLICK HERE

Top Gun 2 is Happening – Because America has No Original Idea
CLICK HERE

Nicki Minaj is Fucking NAS
CLICK HERE

Baywatch is the Worst Movie Ever – Don’t Go See It..
CLICK HERE

BMW 850 is a Great Car
CLICK HERE

Taylor Swift is a Slut
CLICK HERE

Posted in:stepLINKS|Videos