DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2017

03

May

Hailey Baldwin Nipple Pasties with her Boyfriend of the Day

Hailey Baldwin is garbage, mainly because she’s the daughter of a celebrity who is barely a fucking celebrity, and I like my celebrity children out there hustling, getting the invites to exclusive events and parties, to be of A-List and A-List only….but Stephen Baldwin, who gives a fuck…

She banged Bieber at 16, she fucking sucks the aassholes of the Jenners since, and it’s managed to establish her as a little model, it girl, all while being totally uninteresting and annoying, vapid, bratty pile of shit…

She’s living the good life, mooching, and she’s leaving some party with her chubby boyfriend – as her little tits pop out…with nipple tape because freeing the nipple is more feminist for a vapid vain pile of shit….when the nipple has tape on it..I guess..

I am more into her playing tennis in her underwear…and I guess the good news is she’s not a Kardashian..and hot enough…and I guess it’s better to be the bottom feeder to the stars who shouldn’t be stars than the stars themselves..it’s some bootleg shit that she knows she is…and that alone can lead to some insecurities that bring on drug addiction and all that other good stuff. You know..context. The rich brat who wants it all but is third tier, even when third tier is pretty good…kills herself for not being good enough…because she doesn’t know she won…

Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2017

03

May

Lisa Appleton is a Dumpy UK Trashcan Flashing Tit of the Day

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Lisa Appleton is some garbage UK trash that I am not going to bother looking up, because you can get a sense of what she is based on the pictures alone.

An attention seeking pile of shit that could have been a gutter glamour model before falling in love with cake…or a reality star that managed to get into some reality TV show….or who fucking knows, but she’s got the paparazzi watching her sloppy drunk ass as her tits spill everywhere and it’s vile…and thus amazing….My kind of girl…

Posted in:Lisa Appleton

2017

03

May

Kim Cloutier Pantsless of the Day

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Kim Cloutier is a Montreal based model – and I am from Montreal so I can’t say anything mean about her or her 30 year old body – seeing as I may run into her somewhere and have some confrontation. I know it sounds ridiculous – but it’s happened before…girls don’t like when an asshole fat guy calls them out…and they love to take the opportunity to call me a fat guy – because despite their body positive lie – they are all just cunts waiting to be mean spirited…it’s human nature…

Not to mention, Kim Cloutier is hot…so why would I be mean about a hot Canadian just out there being pantsless…something most French Canadians can relate to…we call it “the first date”…those liberal free spirits straight from the Dairy far to being sexy

Apparently the new trend in modeling is pants off party – I like it.

Posted in:Kim Cloutier|SFW

2017

03

May

Bella Hadid Elle France of the Day

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My God Bella Hadid is ugly.

I don’t care what magazine supports her, or how hot she thinks she is because everyone tells her she’s hot..

I think it’s safe to say that she knows the truth, we all know the truth and just because she’s delusional about it…doesn’t mean it isn’t TRUTH..

I don’t know what it is, but probably not showing her tits, that really allows me to focus on the issue at hand…her average at best looks that get paid above average prices because the world is fucking stupid.

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2017

03

May

Doutzen Kroes and Lara Stone Outtakes of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes looks fucking haggard…

It’s like Victoria’s Secret dropped her and she fell the fuck apart.

Her husband and father of her kids out there touring and fucking hot, young versions of her – like the DJ whore she was, DJ whores will exist and some are just more relevant than her…

YOu know now that she had time off, trying to tour with her man, only for him to pull the plug and be “Bitch, you old, you don’t have a job, you used to be a VS model, that was your selling point, now you are just an expense that takes care of my babies I didn’t want in the first place”….you know how those things go…

Lara Stone…also old…is the fucking worst, but I just hate her because her lawyers came after me once…like fuck you cunt you should pay me for the press you washed up pile of shit.

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Lara Stone

2017

03

May

Anna Ewers Rhymes with Sewers of the Day

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Anna Ewers rhymes with sewers – and may even smell like sewers – or has at one point in her career – because it’s hard out there for a hot chick trying to make it in the industry – and sometimes you just gotta go to Dubai to hang with some Oil Money to pay the rent, and feed the vapid existence..

Not that I know anything about Anna Ewers, besides the fact that she’s pretty hot..with her narrow hips and Euro face…dressed in her weddding gear because she’s probably trying to get her US Citizenship, anticipating TRUMP changing those laws…

She is not showing her tits, but has in the past so we can use this as an excuse to click on her name and see her nudity of yesteryear – you know her portfolio coming up.

Vogue Paris – fashion like a Jenner…

Posted in:Anna Ewers|SFW

2017

03

May

Jamie-Lynn Sigler Titty Shot of the Day

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I hear it everyday “You’re site is like blockbuster”….no one visits websites anymore…you’re old, you’re tired, why do you waste your time doing this, you out of touch fucking pig…you irrelevant, not with the times, dated pile of shit….your social media sucks, kids have never heard of you, what is your fucking problem…

And the truth is, I was Blockbuster, before Blockbuster knew they were Blockbuster”…you know..I started this shit out of touch, irrelevant, disinterested in “celebs”…sure I jerked off to mainstream actor tits I’d find on weird porn thumbnail sites, but I didn’t fuck want this shit, I didn’t ask for this shit, and despite the traffic I used to get, not one person, not even my friends who knew I did the site, visited the site, cared about the site, remembered the name of the site…

I can remember people I talk saying “how’s your drunk uncle” project going, 10 years into doing this DRUNK UNCLE project….because it is stupid, it is a waste of time, and the fact I do it is a sickness….

It won’t go viral, not then, not ever, it doesn’t make money,..it just costs money I don’t even have…and it’s a miracle it keeps going..because ultimately I don’t care…

What I will assume is that the only people on this site are 40 years old, they remember an era when tits weren’t on social media because social media didn’t exist, or barely existed in 2004 when I started this. I will assume that they remember I was the only site that wasn’t a porn site, but labeled a porn site, preventing me from getting rich, but I was so committed to my feminist ideals that I kept posting the nudes….regardless of the money…a martyr or a retard…

So for those 40 year olds, I assume may come to the site, here’s some Meadow Soprano self produced mom in her 40s titty porn, something you shouldn’t jerk off to, but that I figure is a fetish of yours…

Because even if this 90s revival, no one gives a fuck about Meadow Soprano, but the big titty shamelessness to compete with the youth on IG….isn’t that bad…

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Sigler|SFW

2017

03

May

Alexis Ren is a Great Skateboarder of the Day

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Alexis Ren may have a bit of a donkey head, but girl is a good time…..and has an amazing body – but most importantly, she understands the importance of using sex and sexuality in your marketing, because when she was just 18, she partnered up with some homosexual dude, and together they painted this bullshit storyline of a girl and a guy, young and in love, traveling the world, doing things that all kinds of married women in trailer parks dreamed of doing, you know the kind of thing they’d put on the desktop of their computer if they could afford a computer…or masturbation fodder to the trashy Walmart clerk who lived alone and never touched a man, let alone one with abs, who spends the days on beaches…and instead of resenting this tight little body, they embraced her and wanted to be her…..totally unlike most female behavior…

Well, now everyone is producing this couple content for the voyeurs to watch as foreplay before their porn. Racy bikini shit…and Alexis Ren, no longer partners with the homo, got some breast implants and still brings it – because she knows….despite the Donkey Head…her body is young, tight and lovely…and that’s enough for some instagram erotica…

Either way, here she is teaching some skateboarding – the way it should be taught….all cock teasing…and playful…I like the slutty skateboard….better than the slutty naked in bed – but not too naked..strategic naked…..

Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW|Videos

2017

03

May

Sara Jean Underwood – Naturalist of the Day

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Sara Jean Underwood is a mid-30s naturalist, who I guess is into nature and camping and all the beautiful things the country has to offer. She hikes, she poses next to waterfalls and other amazing things, and she documents it in the most slutty and self involved way…

But for some reason, I think it’s an interesting hook. I mean she was in Playboy at 18, she tried to do some legit hosting, she fell into obscurity, and she made a serious and aggressive instagram comeback….

I don’t think she’s making any money doing this shit, because she pushes private snap chats and private instagrams and sells monthly memberships to her smut…but if it finances her great trips to these great places…where she can produce her smut…I am all for it..

We live in a world where everyone gets naked for instagram, in all the same poses, and places…at least some effort goes into this…and she’s a veteran and expert…as it is all she’s known..other than Ryan Seacrests daytime TV dick…

SO I support, I don’t pay her monthly subscription fees, but I’ll promote her for free, and not make fun of what is seemingly a wonderful thing!

I like that despite being freezing, she still gets naked, it is wonderful.

Here’s more:

Posted in:Sara Jean Underwood|Videos

2017

03

May

Montana Fishburne Arrest of the Day

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Montana Fishburne is amazing…

She is the Laurence Fishburne daughter and failed sex tape star we grew to love and forgot about, because some celebrity daughters take the right route, like this one, while others become Hailey Baldwin or some shit…

She was pulled over for a DUI, found with an open bottle of booze in her car, but the highlight isn’t when she tells the cop to let her off because they are both Latino and Donald Trump means they must stay together…

The Highlight of the video is when she takes a pee on the side of the road…and the cop just allows it…because what the fuck are you really going to do…when a girl pulls her underwear off and calls herself a ratchet…

This is what I want all Celeb daughters to be, gutter, porn acting, mentally unstable, criminal record holding….queens…

Fuck that “MET GALA”…all the other bratty kids go, this is where things should be…broken, empty, daddy was too busy and famous, this is how I try to get his attention, shit…PERFECT…

TO SEE HER SEX TAPE TRAILER OR CLIP : CLICK HERE

MAGICAL MAGIC…

There’s more….

Posted in:Montana Fishburne|SFW|Videos